Putting Yourself First


When it comes to doing things on our own or putting ourselves before others, it sounds simple, but it’s actually quite challenging. I am faulty of this, especially when it comes to people I care about. I want people to feel comfortable and happy. During this, I tend to lose myself.

It can be hard to tell when it happens, but when it does it feels pretty crappy. When I am not listening to what I want or what I need, I end up feeling pretty sad.

There are a few things I like to do when it starts to feel like the scale is weighing a little too hard on the taking end. When you feel burnt-out and tired, and need to recharge.

1. Shut Off Your Phone

This may seem obvious, but what are the chances you’ve actually tried this? I know it can be hard to let go of that one thing that keeps us connected to the world, but it’s also what is causing a lot of that unnecessary stress. When people aren’t texting you back or liking your posts on Instagram, it’s easy to get down pretty quick and feel bad about yourself. The truth is, our phones aren’t what makes us a valuable person. They are what actually makes us feel way worse about ourselves. It’s an adventurous tip, but if you’re willing to try it, I can promise you you will feel better.

I do this every weekend. If people need to get in touch with me, there are other ways, if it’s a serious emergency. Usually Saturdays are spent with my boyfriend- who is honestly the one I use my phone for most. So, it’s easy to just leave my phone on silent. Using your phone for music is ok!
And Sundays are my day. It sounds selfish, but it’s really not. It can be so easy to believe doing anything for yourself is selfish, but it’s actually essential for self-care. When you spend the whole day waiting for people to reply to you, it can be a waste of a great day. I always put my phone on silent and let my boyfriend know I won’t have it on me the whole day.

2. Go on a walk.
Leaving the house to walk around without a phone is a very strange feeling. You might feel like you’re missing something, but that’s ok. It’s just a habit formed of bringing our phones with us everywhere. The main thing I would suggest is to get the idea of something bad happening out of your head if you leave the house without your phone. It’s so easy to think that ‘the one time I went outside without my phone, something bad happened’. The chances are slim, and all that is showing is that we are a little too attached to our cellular devices. Taking a walk without your phone is one step up from turning your phone off. Seriously, disconnecting like this makes you realize that things are OK without texting for a while. So this is what it was like in the 90’s.

3. Do Some Yoga.

There is really nothing better than disconnecting and becoming more in tune with your body. Focusing on balancing and breathing are such huge things to do to put yourself first. When you can learn to slow down your thoughts and focus on one thing, you start to understand yourself more. I know this all might seem pretty scary considering how our world works now, but it can really help you be more in tune with yourself.

4. Veg Out

Without feeling guilty about it. I challenge you to do this, and not tell yourself you should be doing something more productive. Making time for yourself and doing what you love is like recharging your phone. It’s necessary in order to for you to be a better person. When you are drained and burnt out, it’s almost impossible to give away any part of yourself because you don’t have anything leftover to give. During the moments you have to yourself, take that time to relax. Catch up on Netflix, dance around to music, play with your dog, or eat your favorite food. The people your closest to will thank you.

Putting yourself isn’t a selfish thing, it’s something that is required in order to live a fulfilling life. Setting boundaries and saying no to things in order to fill up your cup is something that will make you much healthier mentally. You will be willing to give more of yourself when you work on taking care of yourself and spending time on your own.

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