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There comes a time in many people’s lives where they get knocked down. Straight on
It’s the time when reality hits you hard, and you’re left sitting there wondering
how to push through life. Or even what the point of it all is.
While you’re pondering the meaning of life, you also begin to hear your inner voice
tear you down.
Saying things like “You’re not good enough.” “You’ll never amount to much.”
And when you start to listen to this little voice, it becomes bigger. Louder. And eventually takes over your entire
state of mind.
Your self-worth diminishes and is replaced with confusion, lack of confidence, and feeling unsure about
every decision you’re making in your life.
I’ve been there…. Multiple times.
Any time I’ve quit a job or didn’t have enough money to pay next month’s rent, or
when I was in a toxic relationship.
My self-worth shrunk to the size of a peanut. And it was really hard to believe in
myself enough to know that I could pull out of it.
When you become stuck in the mindset that you don’t matter a whole lot and you don’t have many reasons to believe in yourself, you can easily start to lose sight of
the whole reason for your existence.
This is when people get uncomfortable. Once they lose sight of who they are, they
resort to unhealthy coping strategies to help them feel more alive.
Because what’s happening is, the light inside of you is starting to go out. You don’t
feel the energy to go after your goals, and you don’t even know what goals
you’d want to achieve.
The tricky part is pulling yourself out of this mind trap that you’re in. We all
like to play the victim from time to time and just believe it’s everybody
else’s fault for making us feel this way.
Not taking responsibility for your life or actions is the first sign of low
Fortunately, there are ways to overcome this. You can have more energy, relight the spark inside of you, and feel motivated enough to go after anything you want in life.
Figure out Where your Self-Doubt Thoughts are Coming From
What you want to start doing is finding the root of your negative thoughts. Where is
that voice coming from inside of you?
You can do this by first listening when that voice speaks up. What is it saying to
Sometimes it’s hard to hear it, because you’ve gotten so used to believing in it. When it’s telling you something mean about yourself, you might not even think it’s
But, if it makes you feel worse later on in the day and you can remember why, write
Identify what your negative thoughts are saying so you can begin to quiet those voices.
Build up Your Strengths
One of the main reasons people have low self-worth is because they see all of the
stuff they aren’t good enough for.
That job, that relationship, that lifestyle.
When you see the destination of where you want to be but have no clue how to get
there, it becomes overwhelming and feels impossible.
What you can start doing is build up your strengths. Think about what things you’re really good at.
This can be with any category of your life.
Some examples are:
I’m a good listener
I put a lot of effort and hard work into my job
I’m really good at (fill in the blank)
People have told me I do this really well
Give your inner critic a break for a while and listen to the good parts about yourself. This will help you feel a little better and put you on the path to self-worth and self-trust.
Do you love yourself?
Like, honestly. As you’re reading this can you say out loud “I love myself”? Is there
hesitance towards answering this question?
If there is, why do you feel hesitant? Do you feel that maybe if you lost 15
pounds you would love yourself? Or if you achieved something in your life,
you’d be worthier of love?
This is a mind trap we all fall into from time to time.
It’s not always easy to love ourselves through thick and thin. There are even times
when I don’t always love what I see in the mirror.
But, practicing self-compassion can give you a huge boost in your own confidence and self-worth.
Self-compassion allows you to forgive yourself more easily. You won’t feel so stressed all the time because you have your own back.
Work on Facing Your Fears
Being fearful of trying new things and going after what you want has a big effect on
If you feel too afraid to try things, it’s reaffirming to your inner critic that
you aren’t good enough to go after those things.
And when you don’t try, you never truly know what the outcome will bring.
When you work on facing your fears, you develop trust within yourself. Even if you
end up falling flat on your face.
Doing something that scares you daily will help build up your self-worth because you will see that you made it through.
And when you start facing your fears you start going after the amazing things you
want in life. You start achieving things because you stopped being too afraid
to even try.
And once you start facing your fears, you become more used to it. Less things scare you and the more things start to excite you.
Set a Challenge for Yourself
You can start small by setting a simple challenge for yourself. Maybe by the end of
this month you can do one thing that scares you.
Decide on one thing today that will help build your self-worth.
This is a personal preference as to what makes you feel better. Here are a few suggestions that can help:
Cut Down on the Self-Criticism
Any time you start beating yourself up and feeling bad about your life, catch that
This starts with accepting yourself and being ok with who you are. There is no
growth without first accepting yourself.
The first step to self-acceptance is reducing the negative self-talk you’ve been
feeding your mind
Stop being so hard on yourself when you’re honestly just doing the best that you
People who love themselves learn how to forgive their mistakes and move on from the past. They understand that they are only human and can only be expected to do so much.
At the same time, they work on self-improvement and enjoy pushing their limits to see how far they can get in life.
Visualize Who and Where You Want to Be
Do you want to hate yourself and feel a lack of confidence forever?
Or do you want to start living a better life that includes you being happier and
more at peace?
Then start by writing down what your life would look like if you had no limits.
Seriously, write down every dream and thought you have that would be amazing to have in your own life.
It doesn’t matter if it “feels” selfish or like a dream way too far out of reach.
The point of this exercise is to envision a life that you actually want.
Without the limitations you’re already constantly setting on a daily basis.
Visualizing where you want to be invites more room for inspiration in your life. This is where you feel creative and even excited to focus on the things you want.
Wipe the dust off your imagination for five minutes and do a brain dump. Write down all of the things you truly want out of life, no matter how far out of reach they may seem.
Once you do that, then write down how you’re feeling afterwards. Does it excite you? Scare you? Overwhelm you?
Tune into your current emotions and let them feel free to bounce around for a while. Let go and dream and allow yourself to feel however it is you’re feeling.
Reward Your Successes
Deciding to make any sort of change in your life requires time and patience. You have to train your brain to let go of one way of thinking and make room for the new thoughts.
To make this more enjoyable for you, set up a reward system.
Each time you work towards your goals come up with something that you enjoy.
Maybe that’s taking the evening off and relaxing. Or cooking up your favorite dinner.
Maybe it’s treating yourself to something new.
Whatever makes you feel good, excited, and inspired. That way you can keep moving forward with your progress.
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