Let’s face it: We all want to feel more confident. Being self-assured is a quality many women search for throughout their lives.
Even if you have no interest in being the life of the party or turning heads when you walk into a room, confidence earns you respect, lifts your self-esteem, and improves your performance in nearly everything you do. It may seem intangible, but confidence is made up of many components that anyone can learn and use on any given day.
So where do you begin? Here are 11 tried-and-tested activities to try for yourself:
1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
This one is all about perspective.
When you are busy putting other people’s lives on a pedestal, you are essentially denying the wonderful person that you are and making yourself seem less significant in comparison to their greatness.
Instead, focus on your own journey. Celebrate what makes you unique rather than tearing yourself down because someone else does something better. Everyone has different strengths, and once you embrace that positive mindset, confidence comes more naturally.
2. Accept Compliments with a Smile and Say “Thank You”
We all know the phrase “modesty is a virtue.” And while it may be true, you don’t need to brush off every kind word as untrue. Even if you have doubts about what someone says, accept the compliment gracefully with a warm smile. Skip the disclaimer, such as “Oh, but I haven’t done anything to deserve this.”
When you wave away kind words, you quietly tell yourself that their praise isn’t worth much. A simple “thank you” works in any situation, and you may be surprised by the difference it makes.
3. Make Eye Contact, and Keep Listening
Holding eye contact during a conversation shows that you’re paying attention and that you care about what the other person has to say.
But don’t forget to listen as well! If your conversation partner has something important to add, give it your full focus. We all lose concentration from time to time, but it’s worth staying present during important discussions or when a friend needs you. Aim for steady eye contact and real attention together.
4. Dress to Impress (Yourself)
When you dress the part, you send yourself the message that you can handle whatever comes next. Looking good prepares your mind for a challenge.
Before your next big presentation, or any moment when you want a confidence boost, make sure to dress for success—it works!
5. Fake It ‘til You Make It
We’ve all heard this strategy before, and it holds up. For many women who struggle with low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy, acting as though they already have confidence helps build the real thing over time.
Rather than staying stuck because you doubt your abilities, start acting confident until it feels natural. Your body language will shift, and people will take notice. Before long, your true self will shine through.
6. Keep A Journal of the Things You Love About Yourself
Set aside a little time each day to write down what makes you unique. If you’re anything like us, you have dozens of reasons to feel proud. A journal gives you a place to recognize every one of them.
With daily practice, your confidence grows, and your insecurities loosen their grip one by one. If you need a place to start, Self-Love Rainbow offers journals, affirmations, and other tools for self-care and emotional growth.
7. Practice Meditation to Clear Your Mind
Meditation is a helpful practice for anyone dealing with anxiety or stress. It can feel difficult at first, but with time you’ll likely notice less worry and negative thinking, because meditation teaches you to observe your thoughts instead of being swept away by them.
It takes some getting used to, but the effort is well worth it. Guided apps like InnaPeace make it easy to begin with just a few minutes a day.
8. Write Yourself a Self-Esteem Letter
Writing a letter to yourself is a powerful way to boost your self-worth. Set aside time to list the best things about you and why they matter to the people in your life, whether that’s a partner, your parents, or friends.
Treat it like an assignment: Reread the letter as often as you need until you start feeling better about yourself. No one else has to see it, so don’t hold back on what makes you special!
9. Give Yourself a Compliment Every Day
This simple habit helps you appreciate what you already do well each day. Before bed, write down one thing you love about yourself or did well. It can be your compassion for others, or something small, like paying a bill on time or completing an assignment early.
Tuck the note somewhere safe until tomorrow’s list is ready. Keep it up, and you’ll have a growing collection of reasons to feel good about yourself.
10. Let Go of What Doesn’t Make You Happy
Feeling good about yourself and confident in who you are sometimes requires removing things in your life that don’t make you happy anymore. For example, a relationship that isn’t working out as you had hoped can weigh on you when it leaves you feeling worse instead of better.
Surround yourself with people who encourage you and help you grow, and give yourself permission to step back from those who don’t. If a difficult relationship or a big life change feels overwhelming, talking with a licensed therapist through Talkspace or Online-Therapy.com can offer helpful support.
11. Set Goals and Be Grateful for Everything You Accomplish
Goal setting can feel daunting, especially if you don’t usually set short-term or long-term goals. Even so, it’s worth the effort once you see your hard work pay off.
Each time you accomplish something important, write it down on a running list of what makes you happy and inspires you. That list shows how much progress you’re making and fuels your motivation. You can also frame each goal with a positive statement, such as “I am grateful” or “I am confident,” which makes it easier to embrace your capabilities and stay accountable. The Refine Your Life course offers step-by-step guidance for setting and accomplishing your goals.
Key Takeaways
Confidence grows through small, consistent habits. Following these tips can increase your happiness and self-worth, which in turn increases your confidence. It’s well worth the time and effort!
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I stop comparing myself to other women?
Focus on your own journey and celebrate what makes you unique. Everyone has different strengths, and appreciating yours makes confidence come more naturally.
What should I say when someone gives me a compliment?
Smile and say “thank you.” Skip disclaimers like “I haven’t done anything to deserve this,” since brushing off kind words tells you their praise isn’t worth much.
Does “fake it ’til you make it” really work?
For many women with low self-esteem, acting confident helps build real confidence over time. Your body language shifts, people notice, and your true self begins to shine through.
How does writing help build confidence?
Journaling about what you love in yourself, writing a self-esteem letter, and noting one compliment each night all help you recognize your strengths. Doing this daily helps your insecurities lose their hold.
Can setting goals really make me more confident?
Yes. Writing down each accomplishment shows your progress and fuels your motivation, and framing goals with positive statements such as “I am confident” helps you stay accountable.
