by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 30, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Finding Motivation, Happiness Tips, Self-Improvement
Are you living an authentic life? Authenticity is to be true to one’s personality and character. It means you’re willing to show the world who you really are.
You’re willing to live the life that you were meant to live. Authenticity is the ability to show your uniqueness to the world.
There are very few authentic people in the world, but you know them when you see them.
We’re naturally drawn to authentic people. We feel comfortable with those who are willing to be themselves.
9 Proven Methods For Living An Authentic Life
Use these strategies to start living an authentic life and show the world the real you
1. Know your values
What’s important to you? Make a list of every quality you think is important for a person to have. Now, put that list in order.
What are your five top values? When you know your values, the authentic choice in any situation is more obvious than when you don’t know your values.
2. Stop doing things you don’t want to do
You still need to pay your bills and take out the trash. However, you don’t have to play on the church softball team, drive your neighbor to the airport, or take care of your cousin’s cat. If something is too disagreeable for you, just say, “No.”
3. Do what you want to do
You can spend your time how you please. You don’t need a grand excuse or proof that you’re doing something noble on a cosmic level.
The fact that you want to do it is a good enough reason. It’s important not to hurt anyone, including yourself, but feel free to play the harmonica, dance in your front yard, or wear white after Labor Day.
4. Keep an open mind
When your thinking is very rigid, you limit yourself and prevent your true self from shining through. Preconceived notions are prisons that block you from being authentic. Learn how to experience the world from a variety of perspectives and an open mind.
5. Trust your intuition
When you ignore your hunches, you feel out-of-sorts. Trust your instincts. They’ll let you know when you’re not being genuine.
6. Be self-aware
You can’t be authentic if you lack self-awareness. Notice how you feel. Ask yourself, “What do I need at this moment? How can I meet that need?” If you ignore your emotions, you can’t be self-aware.
7. Practice boldness
The biggest reason for a lack of authenticity is timidity. We want to say and do certain things, but we’re uncomfortable with standing out in any way.
We feel vulnerable and exposed. A little discomfort never killed anyone, and there’s so much to be gained by being bold. Give it a try.
8. Openly share your opinion
Tell others what you think or how you feel about something. Of course, you’ll want to be tactful so you remain considerate of the feelings of those around you. Are you hesitant to share your thoughts on a topic? Ask yourself why that is.
9. Avoid perfectionism
Trying to be perfect is a huge limitation on your natural personality and expression. Avoiding mistakes and imperfection at all costs is a recipe for inauthenticity.
Life is short! It doesn’t make a lot of sense to pretend to be someone else.
9 Proven Methods For Living An Authentic Life – Conclusion
I hope these tips for living an authentic life encourage you to put your best self out into the world.
Authenticity requires courage and dealing with discomfort. But if you want to live your life to the fullest, authenticity is required.
Show the world the unique person you are, and celebrate your newfound freedom.
More Life Improvement Tips
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 30, 2019 | Finding Motivation, Self-Improvement
Why strive to strengthen your inner drive? Momentum makes it easier to create change.
It’s much harder to find the first client than to find the 10th. If you have to lose 50 pounds, the second 10 are easier to lose than the first 10.
The other day I shared some tips for how you can strengthen your self-esteem. But let’s dig a bit deeper today.
It’s just hard to get started when you’re trying to change something in your life.
It’s easier to keep a boulder rolling than it is to get it started. So use these tips to help you start.
How To Strengthen Your Inner Drive
Try these ideas to strengthen your inner drive.
1. Do something worthwhile as early in the day as possible
Whatever your big goal in life happens to be, do something about it first thing each day.
It’s a great way to show yourself that you’re serious about being successful. It’s also a way to build a lot of momentum that can carry you through the day.
For example, if you need to drop a few pounds, get out of the door ASAP in the morning and go for a quick walk. If you want to write a novel, write one page before you even take a shower.
Take an online class at SkillShare, CreativeLive or HerPaperRoute. Or, learn a new language. Anything that gets your brain buzzing before you have your morning coffee.
2. A small accomplishment early in the day can motivate you to do even more, later in the day
A bad morning usually drains your motivation, so ensure you have a great morning.
3. Make your bed each day
It might seem like a trivial act, but it can make a big difference. You’ve barely woken up and you’ve already accomplished something.
You’ll also appreciate it when you go to bed. Try it for a week and notice how much better you feel about yourself.
4. Find a mentor that’s doing better than you are
Even the most successful people can use a good mentor. If you need to lose weight, find someone that’s lost 100+ lbs.
If you want to make 6-figures, find a mentor that’s making seven. A good mentor will push you to be more than you’re currently demonstrating. Here’s how to get a mentor for free.
5. Be consistent
It’s impossible to gain momentum without consistency. Each time you stop, it’s necessary to get started again. That’s the opposite of momentum. Get started and keep going. Consistent action is the key.
4. Perform a 30-day challenge
Pick a habit you’d like to create and force yourself to do it each day for the next month. This is a great way to build momentum.
When the 30 days are up, you should be able to continue. You’ve already been doing it for a month after all. What’s another month or decade? Easy.
Try our 30 Day Mental Wellness Challenge, it’s free!
5. Have a vision
A compelling vision for the future can be the motivation needed to get started and to continue until you experience success. Think about what you want to accomplish.
Who do you want to become? What type of life do you want to live? Create an attractive vision of a future that fills you with excitement.
Few people have a long-term plan for their life. Even fewer have a plan that excites them. Be one of the few.
6. Be action-oriented
Most of us do too much planning and spend too much time gathering more information.
The people that accomplish the most are those that take action quickly, consistently, and aggressively. Focus on the actions you can take and actually take them. Momentum is the result.
With momentum, it’s easy to believe that you can accomplish anything.
7. Without it, everything feels impossible
There’s no substitute for work ethic and perseverance, but there are plenty of things that can be done to create momentum.
If you’re feeling stuck, work on creating momentum and then fight to keep it going.
For More Tips On How To Strengthen Your Inner Drive
To view my wellness course Refine Your Life Purpose + Wellness and all other lessons, click here.
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by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Do you need help to boost self-esteem? Lack of confidence? You are not alone.
Low self-esteem is a common challenge regardless of your age, background, or socioeconomic status. We all know that high self-esteem is a good thing, but how does one go about developing it?
There are tons of programs and books designed to raise your self-esteem, but it’s still a challenge. Try these top 10 confidence-building tips to give your self-esteem the boost you seek.
10 Easy Ways To Strengthen And Boost Self-Esteem And Confidence
Increase your confidence and feel great about yourself with these strategies to boost your self-esteem.
1. Get support from your biggest fan.
You probably have a friend or family member who always finds a way to lift you up when you’re feeling down. Pay them a visit and let them know you’re struggling. Get their opinion on what you’re thinking about.
Sometimes we just need a reminder that we’re doing a lot better than we think we are.
2. Remember that self-esteem is a symptom of detrimental thinking habits.
Anything that was said or happened in the past is over. You can only keep those things alive with your thoughts. Your negative thoughts and inner critic will tear you down until there’s nothing left.
It’s your choice to allow that to happen or to work on it and become your best friend. This starts with changing your thoughts.
Uplift your thinking and your self-esteem will begin to rise as well.
3. Learn how to take a compliment.
Compliments are hard to take when your self-esteem is low. Ironically, that’s when you need them the most.
Smile and thank the other person for the compliment. Resist the urge to dismiss the compliments you receive.
4. You’re much more interesting than the person you pretend to be.
We develop the urge to conform when we are in elementary school. But you’re not like everyone else. You’re unique. You’ll make more friends and have more influence if you’re willing to be yourself.
We’re not made for everyone and the people who don’t accept you are most likely the wrong people for you. Stop trying to change for other people, and don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
Once you learn to live a more authentic life you will drastically improve your self-esteem.
But you’re not like everyone else. You’re unique. You’ll make more friends and have more influence if you’re willing to be yourself.
5. You’ve already accomplished amazing things.
Two of the most challenging things anyone has ever accomplished are learning to walk and learning to talk.
Think about how long each takes to do well.
They both require years of constant practice. Anything else you want to do with your life pales by comparison.
6. You can learn social skills.
Many people with low self-esteem struggle with relationships or social situations. You’re not flawed; you’re just not aware of how to do it.
Many children learn these skills while others do not. It’s never too late.
7. Other people aren’t thinking about you.
It’s hard to believe, but people aren’t talking behind your back or thinking negative thoughts about you.
Everyone else is wondering what you’re thinking and saying.
8. Be willing to say “No.”
It’s natural to feel bad about yourself when you agree to do things you don’t want to do.
It’s disrespectful to yourself.
- Give yourself the respect you deserve and refuse requests when you genuinely don’t want to do them.
9. Beware of social media.
While social media can make it easy to stay in touch with others, understand that most of what you see is misleading.
Few people are presenting their lives honestly. It’s a place to showcase the high points of your life. Everyone has challenges, but you’ll rarely see them on social media.
10. Develop your strengths.
Are you a great dancer? Take a few dance classes. Are you a good writer? Take a writing course like this one, and develop your writing skills further.
11. Run with your strengths and find ways to leverage them.
Imagine what your life would look like if you consistently enjoyed high self-esteem.
Visualize how much more enjoyable life would be and how much more you could accomplish. The change in your life would be stunning.
10 Easy Ways To Strengthen And Boost Self-Esteem – Conclusion
Begin the journey of enhancing your opinion of yourself today. No one else will do it for you. You’ll be glad you did! And after some time practicing these tips to boost self-esteem, pretty soon you will feel it.
More Ways To Improve Your Life
Please pin this if you enjoyed reading my tips on ways to strengthen your self-esteem.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Improvement
We’ve all heard that we should breathe deeply, go to therapy, and use medication when we’re feeling anxious, but there are other, less obvious ways to deal with anxiety. In this post, I’ll share some anxiety solutions you may have never considered.
As a person who struggles with anxiety on a daily basis, I enjoy learning about new possibilities of how to get rid of it.
I enjoy distractions like reading, or playing a game on my phone. Focusing my attention completely on something else helps me feel more in control of my mind.
While yes, some of these you may have heard before, they are all proven ways to reduce anxiety.
8 Less Obvious Ways To Deal With Anxiety
I also have a post “10 Things to Stop Doing if You Have Anxiety“, and I just want to remind anyone reading my blog that YOU are unique. What works for you might not work for someone else.
Same thing for you. If you see something in my posts that you think would give you anxiety, that’s OK! Move past it and find something that does work for you.
The last thing I want to do is make you think the answers below are the only things that will resolve your anxiety. I want to give you as many ideas and options as possible so that you can choose which ones work best for you.
Also, if you have found something that really works for you feel free to leave a comment below and let other people know about it!
Try these ideas to deal with anxiety in a way that works for you:
1. Kickboxing
You know when you’re anxious and you feel all jittery like you’ve just had two cups of coffee? If you have a lot of nervous energy building up inside, try out some kickboxing.
You can even do this at home, just look up a video on YouTube. But, if you want to take a class even better!
Allowing yourself to get all that pent-up energy (and maybe even anger) out onto a punching bag can relieve a lot of anxiety. Sometimes your mind and body just need something to do, and this is a quick way to get in a good workout while de-cluttering your thoughts.
2. Drink Some Warm Water
I know, this is oddly simple and maybe even obvious. But, hear me out.
I try to be religious about drinking water throughout the day, but when I’m anxious I tend to not care as much about being hydrated.
A couple of days ago I decided to heat up some water and sit outside, and it really helped to calm me down. The warmth felt like a cozy blanket and added a lot of comfort to my anxious mind.
3. Pretend you’re someone who handles stress and anxiety with ease.
Even if this is just for the next 5 minutes.
Use this as a mental exercise, where you act like a totally different person. Someone who feels anxiety, but doesn’t allow it to completely control them.
Do something that may even scare you a little bit, like talking to a stranger at the grocery store. Step out of your comfort zone for just a few minutes and get a different perspective on your anxiety.
4. Take a nap
You might be thinking “How can I take a nap when I have anxiety??”
The truth is: that having anxiety exhausts your mind. Constantly worrying and stressing about things that may or may not even be real begins to take a toll on your brain.
Some people have different views on naps – either it means you’re lazy or it’s a refreshing part of your day.
Allow yourself to rest for 30 minutes, and you can even do this every day. Sometimes we don’t realize how tired we are until we lay down and break away from all those worrying thoughts.
5. Do something that takes your full attention.
Whether it’s doing a crossword puzzle, playing chess, or climbing monkey bars at a nearby playground. You can really think of anything that will help take your mind off of… well, your mind.
Maybe that’s even hanging out with younger children like a niece or cousin of yours. Children have a way of distracting us from the serious stuff, and they allow us to break free from our own thoughts for a while.
6. Schedule worry time.
Instead of worrying throughout the day, why not schedule some worry time?
You can worry all you want for 30 minutes, but you can’t worry the other 23.5 hours of the day. Just knowing that you can worry later will ease your mind and allow you to accomplish more.
How much time do you need to worry? Do you think that worrying for an hour would accomplish more than 30 minutes? Maybe 15 minutes is enough.
7. Go to bed earlier and get up earlier.
Going to bed earlier will allow you to get more sleep. Getting up earlier will allow you to start your day with less rushing around.
Try going to bed an hour earlier and get up 15 minutes earlier.
The extra 45 minutes of sleep will do your mind and body some good. The extra 15 minutes of the morning will make your morning more relaxing.
8. Go camping.
Or just get out of town. Sleeping on the ground or in a different bed in new surroundings can do a lot to change your perspective and alter your mood.
If you need a change of pace, give yourself one. A weekend can do wonders.
Where could you spend a weekend that would be a drastic change from your normal environment?
8 Less Obvious Ways To Deal With Anxiety – Conclusion
Anxiety can take all the joy out of life. When you’re worrying all of the time, it’s challenging to find any enjoyment.
Just as creating a feeling of anxiety is a skill, you can also develop the skill of calming yourself. Consider anxiety-reducing ideas that might seem a little unusual.
There’s no telling what will work for you until you try.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Finding Motivation, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Are you stuck, unsure of how to reach your full potential? Are you limiting yourself by ignoring the full potential you’re capable of reaching? At first, it feels like too much effort to go out of your comfort zone and see how far you can go.
That effort is what keeps a lot of people from even trying in the first place. However, it’s interesting to see what you can accomplish if you try.
Today I want to share with you some strategies you can use to reach your full potential and discover yourself.
7 Strategies That Will Help You Reach Your Full Potential
When you think back on your past, and into your future, what have your goals looked like? Have you often achieved the goals you’ve set for yourself, or do you let them slide to the wayside?
These are just a few questions to ask yourself as you work on reaching your full potential. A lot of what holds us back is our own thoughts.
As soon as you learn to reprogram your thoughts, you will quickly start to see doors open and your life becomes more fruitful.
1. Start with baby steps
As you create big goals for your future, break them down into tiny baby steps. You’ll get easily overwhelmed by all of the to-do’s, causing you to feel frozen in place.
Categorize the steps into groups and break it all down, then choose one thing to focus on for this week. If you want to start working out more, set aside just 5 minutes a day to focus on that.
Related: How to Get Motivated When You Struggle With Anxiety & Depression
2. Your progress ebbs and flows
To give you an idea of what progress and success looks like:
Just like with this blog that you’re reading, progress is a bumpy road. It took me a long time to figure out how to blog and how to get people to see it.
There were SO many times I just wanted to give up on it, but the picture from above is what’s kept me motivated to continue on this journey.
Once you can accept how progress really goes, you will have more patience with the process. It just comes with persistence and time.
The longer you stick with it, the more progress you will make. You will also learn a lot of lessons along the way that will build your resilience!
3. Narrow down to one thing at a time
Limit yourself to just a few activities if you want to reach a high level of mastery. Mastering anything takes time.
Patience is key to long-term development
For example, if you want to be more physically active then focus on just one thing. Maybe that’s replacing soda with water, or running 10 minutes a day.
Start small so the new changes don’t feel overwhelming. Focus on one thing, then move on to the next.
I am the type of person who loves to dabble in different things, so I don’t want to limit you to just one thing. But, it is helpful to focus your attention on one thing at a time so you get really good at it. Then you can move on to the next thing.
4. Imagine the new you
Another way to think of this is when you wake up in the morning, imagine being the person you want to be.
If you want to be healthier, ask what would a healthy person do. Then DO those things. If a healthy person would eat an apple instead of chips, do that.
Be the person you want to be by practicing this exercise.
5. Be persistent
In order to make lasting changes, you have to push yourself. Keep doing the grind and keep reminding yourself of your why.
Why do you need this, why do you want it? Keep that at the top of your mind until it becomes ingrained into you.
Consistency and persistence are key, as well as a tremendous amount of patience.
6. Always be learning
Connect with like-minded people around you who remind you of why you want this in the first place. Then learn from them.
Take online courses or even find a coach who can help guide you to where you want to be.
We can’t always do things alone and you’ll need plenty of support to nudge you in the direction you want to go.
7. Break free from fear
Fear can hold you back from doing anything, and from living an amazing life. Instead, you want to have fear be a part of your life, but not let it control you.
Allow fear to keep you on your toes and lean into it. Once you see that fear is just what you make up in your head to be scary, you will slowly become less fearful.
7 Strategies That Will Help You Reach Your Full Potential – Conclusion
And when you continue to step out of your comfort zone and embrace change, you will become stronger. Your grit will build and you’ll be resilient with anything life throws at you.
Be sure to enroll in my awesome online course ‘Refine Your Life Purpose + Wellness‘ to learn more about ways you can reach your full potential, discover your purpose, and create a life you love.
So now, go ahead and work to reach your full potential!
More life improvement tips to help you reach your full potential
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