by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jun 27, 2022 | Happiness Tips, Self-Improvement
Where to find happiness? It’s an age-old question and the simple answer is: Happiness is found within yourself. The type of happiness that lasts and is truly fulfilling is within you and is not dependent on others.
What more can be satisfying than the chance to enjoy life at its best? A good life is rarely a luxurious one. More than the possession of material things, a good life must be one wherein you laugh more, cry less, and feel gratitude.
The truth about people is that they come and go. Nobody stays with you permanently, including your spouse or children. They all have their own lives and you cannot always tie these people to you. The same is true with material things, titles, power, and events that make you happy. While these things can make you happy, the happiness associated with these things is only temporary. If you want that satisfying, no-guilt kind of happiness, you need to look within yourself.
Be a champion of your own life
One of the many reasons we find it hard to be happy is that we tend to sabotage ourselves. When something good happens, we love to overthink and discount the fact that we deserve it. In the back of our minds, we question if we’re allowed to be this happy or start thinking that our happiness will come with a price.
You see, tomorrow is never certain. No one knows for sure if we’ll be here, so we might as well make the most of what’s today. Enjoy and bask in your happiness without feeling guilty. Be a champion of your life because happiness, contentment, and satisfaction are an inside job — nobody can do it for you.
Work on your goals
Some people engage the services of a life coach to help them get on track. While this is helpful, remember that a life coach can only help you if you also supply the discipline and the burning desire to achieve your goals. They may be working closely with you, but nothing will happen if you refuse to help yourself. Again, this is another classic example of the reality that you are the captain of your own ship — the master of your destiny.
When you say desire, it’s not just “wanting” to change something. It takes self-discipline. This means that you must be committed to yourself and your own goals and that no matter how challenging your circumstances are, you won’t fall back to your old destructive patterns.
While a life coach can help you achieve positive results in your life, it’s you who will carry much of the work. You have to break your old patterns. You have to move out of your comfort zone. You have to commit to change. It’s like working out in the gym with a fitness coach. Even if your coach plans your workout and fitness goals, you will do most of the work because it’s your body. The plan will only prosper if the subject is willing, committed, and does the work.
Break the negative mindset chain
When you ask people if they consider themselves successful, only a handful will answer that they are. Why? Because most are caught in the negative belief system that success is hard to earn and that they’re not worthy of success. These negative thought processes will manifest themselves in your life results.
You may wonder why despite your effort, you still can’t get that promotion. You may also wonder why even if you spend more time working, you’re not earning enough money. If you find yourself in these situations, remember to work on your belief system first.
You can start working on your negative thoughts by turning on your “flashlight of awareness” and you will then see how much potential you are hiding because of your limiting belief systems. This is the first step in claiming your birthright to success.
When you were younger, your parents might have unknowingly conditioned you to limit yourself. For example, when you were trying to reach for the cup in the cupboard, your mother stopped you because you might fall and get hurt. The motive might be good, but this harmless act can lead a grown person to think that he shouldn’t try to do risky things because he might get hurt.
Help yourself identify these negative thoughts and transform them into positive ones. Now, instead of saying “you can’t,” you’ll confidently claim that you can.
Be accountable for your own life, decisions, and results
Another reason why people can’t find happiness within and by themselves is that they love to point fingers. They blame everyone except themselves. You see, if you take control of your life, it’s less burdensome and less complicated. You act for yourself and not to please others. You also become more attached to your plans because you know you’ll benefit the most from your successes.
The sad reality is that people love to complain. If something doesn’t turn in their favor, they blame everyone else except themselves. If you ask yourself why you’re not living your dream life, you may catch yourself saying any of these common excuses:
- That your parents are poor, and you never had the means;
- That your parents weren’t able to send you to a great school;
- That your professor in college was unfair and inconsiderate; or
- That life didn’t open opportunities for you.
You blamed everyone else except yourself. Maybe the only reason you’re not living your dream life is that you keep making excuses and refuse to take action. This can be a source of resentment too. Because you think someone’s controlling your life, you rebel against them and suffer the consequences miserably.
If you supply the desire and commitment to change, you can point yourself in the right direction. By realizing what you could have done better, you take responsibility and work towards positive change. You make your goals, plot action plans to achieve these goals, and cheer yourself as you work your way to your dream life.
Understand relationships with the people in your life
Resentment, disappointment, and hatred happen if people misunderstand how other people show and communicate their feelings. If you find that many of your issues with other people tend to lean on your own negative perceptions rather than the basic facts. Just because we perceive someone has wronged us or does not care – doesn’t mean we are always right. Often we twist things into a negative light due to our own insecurities. It is for our own happiness and successful relationships that we explore possible misunderstandings and clarify with others to fact-check our interpretations of actions.
By realizing these barriers, you relieve yourself of the burden to try and fit others’ perceptions and ideas of things in the universe. You also hate less. You no longer get disappointed quickly and become more tolerant of the people in your life. Instead of spending your time and energy on these negative emotions, you let them go because you now understand it’s not because of you. At the end of the day, you learn to be genuinely happy and at peace with the people in your life, your thoughts, and yourself.
Takeaway
We can conclude that happiness is found within. We are responsible for our happiness and no one else can be our source of happiness alone. Sometimes, we chase people, titles, and events, hoping to find happiness in them. After a while, we realize that the happiness they bring is fleeting.
We have the power to be happy regardless of what is happening around us. We can be happy despite what other people think of us.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jun 13, 2022 | Happiness Tips, Self-Improvement
Life can be a difficult journey. The world has a penchant for throwing unexpected curveballs. Things like sudden car trouble, illness in the family, or trouble at work are tough to deal with when you’re already doing well. When you’re struggling already, these surprise difficulties can create situations that seem almost impossible to deal with.
Luckily, you’re not alone. While everyone’s journey through life is different, absolutely every person on the planet will hit a rough patch every once in a while. Here are some of the top tips that successful people give for getting through these tough times without pulling your hair out.
1) Accept The Inevitable. Change the Changeable.
Attitude is important. The way you think and feel about a problem can have a massive impact on how you deal with it. It’s incredibly common for people to get fixated on problems that they simply cannot affect, allowing the issue to cast a massive, negative shadow over their daily life. Don’t do this! Some things are truly unchangeable. Try to think of these things as passive obstacles that you have to overcome. It’s okay to complain about them every once in a while, but make sure your goal is to climb over the mountain, not to whine about it.
One of the best things you can do when faced with an impossible situation is to analyze it and figure out what parts you can change. Life’s challenges tend to be complex and usually have multiple components that you can interact with. Even if you can’t change the core of a problem, you can often take action to make the other parts more manageable. For example, there’s not a lot you can do about a loved one being diagnosed with a terminal illness. You can, however, spend time with them, make sure they’re comfortable, and make sure that appropriate end-of-life arrangements are put into place before it’s too late. The core of the problem is still there. It’s still important to take steps to increase your ability to deal with the situation.
The flip side of this is that many people tend to give up on small and medium issues too quickly. There are a lot of things in life that are very much under your control. Many of these are difficult to change, requiring effort stretched out over months or years. Others just require a few short, difficult interactions. Don’t put these off. If there’s something that’s bothering you, make sure that you’re doing everything you can to fix things. This might mean starting a long journey of self-improvement, finally making a tough phone call that you’ve been putting off, or just doing a bunch of unpleasant chores around the house. Bite the bullet and start as soon as you can. Even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal, reducing small stressors can have a profound impact on your overall quality of life.
2) Don’t Fight Alone
When the going gets tough, don’t be afraid to reach out. Talking to a friend about your situation can have a profoundly positive effect on the way you think about your problem and give you insights into what you might be able to do to fix things – and this is without your friend doing anything other than being a good listener. Your friends can often offer recommendations from their experience in similar situations and volunteer valuable help so you don’t have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. You shouldn’t expect them to solve your problems for you. Sometimes, however, your issue will turn out to be something that they can fix almost effortlessly. When you suffer alone, you miss the opportunity to take advantage of this.
Some issues are difficult to share with friends. Other times, you’re stuck in a long-term rut. Other issues are just hard. If you feel like you’re not in a good place mentally, reach out to a mental health professional sooner rather than later. Counselors, therapists, and psychiatrists won’t judge you or your problems. Instead, they’ll try to offer as much help as they can and give you a safe space that you can use to figure out how you can tackle life’s issues. These days, affordable therapy is accessible and easy to find. Don’t wait until you’ve fallen into a deep rut to seek out a professional. Instead, try to talk to one as soon as you can to keep your journey as happy and healthy as possible.
3) Remember the Importance of Self-Care
The harder life is, the easier it is to forget about self-care activities. Try not to do this. Instead, try to do the opposite. Tougher tasks and stressful days will require you to be at your best, meaning you should put even more effort into taking care of yourself.
First, prioritize the basics. Try to make sure you get plenty of sleep. Set a strict bedtime, practice good sleep hygiene, and don’t let friends and work trick you into staying up late when you don’t want to.
Eat well. Make sure you’re following a healthy diet. Spending time on meal prep might seem impossible in your current situation, but you’ll appreciate your easy meals later on when it’s time to eat. It’ll also give you a forced break from the other activities that are stressing you out. Even if meal prep isn’t your thing, make sure that you’re taking the time and effort to eat healthy foods in appropriate quantities at the right intervals. Skipping lunch will almost never help reduce your stress level.
Be sure to exercise. It’s hard to find time for exercise during a difficult life period, but it’s something you should prioritize. Don’t limit yourself to ruling out exercise altogether because you’re too stressed or don’t have enough time to go to the gym. You can fit in several walks around your work or at home between other activities you’re doing or even go for a jog, do yoga, and do other types of exercise you like. Exercise will help increase your energy levels and allow you to maintain a more positive outlook during the rest of your day. It’ll also provide a forced break. Many of the most successful individuals on the planet swear by their daily jog or walk. It’s often the source of their best ideas, as It gives them an incredible opportunity to tackle their issues from a different perspective.
Take care of your environment. If you’re stressed, it’s easy to fall behind on keeping your house clean or let your workplace become messy. This can have a pretty big effect on your mental outlook. If you can, try to find time to build an environment that you enjoy spending time in. It might not seem like a great use of your time immediately, but you’ll be a lot happier when you work and relax in the future.
None of these things are one-time activities. All of these self-care journeys are just that: journeys. When life throws an unexpected curveball, don’t start sprinting backward along these other paths. Even if you don’t think you can make progress forward in terms of your diet, exercise, sleep schedule, or environment, do your best to at least stay where you are at the very least. This will have a profound impact on giving you the stability you need to tackle your other problems.
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4) Take Time For Yourself
You’re valuable. When you’re working through a rough patch, it’s easy to lose track of this idea. It’s even easier to neglect to take proper action and fail to treat yourself well. Try not to do this! The harder life is, the more important it is to take a little bit of time off and do things you enjoy.
No matter how hard your problems seem, make space for you to have fun. This might mean going on a hike, having a spa day, spending time with friends, or seeing a movie. If you can’t find time for these activities, try to find ways to treat yourself within the confines of your busy schedule. This might mean ordering a nice meal, having something you like shipped to your house, or upgrading your environment. You’re worth a bit of time, money, and effort. Not only will these activities help you feel better, but they’ll also give you space from your problems and provide a valuable break for your brain.
You shouldn’t ever let yourself feel guilty for taking a short, appropriate break for self-care. That said, be mindful of your goal here: you want to sharpen the saw, so to speak, not run from your problems. Some people go overboard and take too much time off, allowing their issues to grow more frightening while they’re away. Using your weekend as personal time instead of going into the office is probably a good idea. Taking a whole week off of work when you’ve got a major project deadline approaching probably isn’t.
5) Work Through It
A lot of the time, our biggest problems can be solved by a blast of concentrated effort. This can be hard for a lot of reasons: our problems might be abstract, meaning we won’t see progress. The actual work involved is often tedious, difficult, or both. We’re also not always used to giving it 100% every day, making the shift into high gear a hard, unfamiliar process.
Don’t let these barriers dissuade you. Instead, try to put your best foot forward every day and make as much progress towards your goals as you can. Even if you don’t see results, concentrate on doing your best. You’ll start building positive habits, making it easier to continue. As long as you don’t give up, you’ll continue to make positive progress and eventually hit your ideal endpoint.
Remember: it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Even if you can’t give 100% on a given day, show up and try to get something done. As the saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. No matter how bad you feel, try to at least put your shoes on and walk out to the path. From there, it’ll be a lot easier to make a few steps and bring your destination a little bit closer. You might not be able to see it, but it’ll really help when it comes to the overall journey.
6) Compare Carefully
Modern social media makes it almost trivial to feel small. All you need to do is open your favorite website or app to be blasted with images of the most beautiful and successful people in the world.
Try to avoid comparing your situations with the ones that you see on the internet. Photos, posts, and stories have to survive an incredibly competitive environment to show up on your feed. This means that you’ll only see the prettiest faces, the best houses, and the most talented people out of literally millions of submissions. If you compare yourself to the very best in any given category, you’re almost always going to come up short, even if you’re incredibly talented and successful yourself.
Try not to compare yourself with your friends and family either. Everyone’s journey through life is different. Some people are blessed with incredible, unfair opportunities. Others aren’t. This means that you shouldn’t feel bad because a friend is more successful than you. It also means you shouldn’t try to base your self-worth on how much better you’re doing than other people.
You can, however, learn a lot from successful people. This means that occasional, mindful comparison of specific things can be incredibly valuable. If you’re in sales, for example, don’t get hung up on the difference between your monthly sales and the person with the most sales in the department. Do think about comparing the way you both approach a sale and see what they do differently. Other people struggle with the same sort of obstacles and challenges that you do. Taking the time to analyze their approach and seeing how they overcome these challenges and obstacles can give you new tools and techniques that you can use to make your own life easier.
What To Do When Life Gets Hard
Everyone’s journey through life is different. One thing that we all have in common, however, is that all of our journeys get rough at some point. When this happens, things will be tough. There usually isn’t a miracle fix. It happens to everyone. You can, however, take some steps to make things a bit easier on yourself and maximize your ability to work through your problems. Fix what you can fix, accept what you can’t, and put yourself in a position where you can accept the help of others. Look for affordable therapy, make time for self-care activities, and stay on top of your basic needs. Put in as much work as you can to move forward and get past your current obstacles. Finally, make sure that you’re not basing your self-worth on unfair comparisons to others while keeping yourself open to learning new techniques and skills from people in similar situations.
Utilizing these techniques and ideas won’t magic your problems away. It will still take a lot of time, energy, and effort to get through your rough patch. You might not see results right away. Over time, though, you’ll begin to pull out of your slump and make progress toward tackling your personal challenges. These techniques will make the journey a little bit faster and more pleasant, putting you back on the path you want to be on.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jun 2, 2022 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Confidence
Anxiety is something everyone has experienced at least once in their lifetime. But for some, it can become a real nightmare. As symptoms manifest themselves so intensely, it is normal to experience distress and a feeling of loss of control. However, it is possible to prevent and alleviate the onset of anxiety symptoms.
In this article, we share 14 tips to reduce anxiety naturally. Of course, if your anxiety disorder is severe, we encourage you to speak with a mental health professional.
But first, what is anxiety?
Anxiety is a defense mechanism that your body uses to alert you. It is usually due to an excessive worry that is manifested physically about some event that will occur in the future. It can indicate fear of uncertainty or situations that you feel you are not able to control.
In a nutshell, it is excessive, constant, and uncontrollable worry. An anxious person is always waiting for a catastrophe or an unforeseen event to spoil her day. Thus, she undergoes extremely tiring wear, both emotionally and physically, as she is always in a state of hypervigilance.
Unfortunately, many women experience anxiety in different ways. They are anxious all the time, and it becomes a routine. When this happens, it stops being a normal sensation and can become a disorder we call pathological anxiety.
Thus, the condition affects the life of those who have these sensations, impairing social and professional life and even being able to develop physical illnesses. Taking care of this problem is essential for having quality physical and mental health.
Ways to reduce anxiety
Anxiety can be controlled if you incorporate some habits into your routine, identify things that trigger you, and learn to deal with them in order to mitigate the damage an anxious state of mind can cause.
The following tips will help you a lot in this. Some of them seem to be quite obvious, but we tend not to notice them when anxious. Therefore, read each of the tips carefully and try to incorporate them into your daily life, both to avoid and alleviate anxiety and not to let it take on greater proportions.
1. Understand the cause of your anxiety
Before trying to control anxiety, the first thing is to locate its origin. Do you have a complicated test coming up? Are you going through a difficult time? Are you afraid of what may happen at your work? All of this can be the source of your anxiety. And by identifying them, you can act accordingly. In other words, to know how to control anxiety, it is necessary to locate it.
For example, if you were attacked by a dog when you were little, it is possible that being around one causes you to sweat, experience rapid heartbeat, and fear. And it is also possible that you are not fully aware that this is precisely what causes it. If you write down in your notebook that this has happened to you, you can easily identify it and remedy it. That way, you’ll be able to work around these situations with more experience and change some habits in the interest of it.
2. Try to organize your daily routine
Organization is the enemy of anxiety. When you organize your routine activities, you feel more at ease, as you already know in advance what will be done. Jotting down daily what will be done the next day or creating a weekly schedule can be good alternatives to get an idea of the concrete size of what needs to be done. But, even so, it is important to be aware of and know how to deal with the unforeseen events that usually appear along the way or during work hours.
3. Practice mindful breathing
Yes, it is true that you are breathing continuously. However, you may not get it all right. You should know that conscious and deep breathing helps you oxygenate your body and makes your emotions flow so that you can understand and accept them better.
To do this, you can practice different exercises with different durations. For example, you may breathe in for 4 seconds, hold the air in your lungs for 4 seconds, and expel it for 8 seconds. You may only notice a brief relief the first time, but if you repeat it several times, you will feel the relaxation you need.
To gain insight into when you are starting to get anxious, you will need to pay close attention to your emotions and your body’s reactions. For example, if you are shivering, sweating, nauseous, or have heartburn. Gradually, you will no longer be caught off guard by anxiety and will be able to use methods to calm yourself down.
4. Combat negative thoughts with positive affirmations
One of the most striking symptoms of an anxiety crisis is disconnected and negative thoughts. They flood the anxious person’s mind and increase anguish and fear. Because of them, you find it difficult to calm your emotional state.
One way to fight them is simply thinking about positive things, such as fond memories of family or loved ones. You can also make positive affirmations such as “It’s okay with me and around me” and “There’s nothing to worry about” repeatedly. Repeat these and other phrases until emotional and physical symptoms subside.
5. Learn to say no
Especially if you are an empathic person, getting involved in other people’s problems will only make your anxiety worse.
Being open and generous to others is a wonderful gift, but when you do it at the expense of your own well-being and take charge of their negativity, it can become extremely damaging.
Dedicating all your resources to others will leave you little energy to deal with your anxiety, and it will only increase. Furthermore, if you allow yourself to be overly influenced by the judgment of others and allow the opinion of others to define your worth, you will be a very easy victim of anxiety attacks. This doesn’t mean never to help anyone, but knowing your limits and not being afraid to say “no” when necessary.
6. Value affection and stay away from those who do harm
Your support network is essential for the control of anxiety and also in the treatment of any mental disorder. Having someone to count on, whether friends or relatives, strengthening ties and bonds, and valuing those close to you is very important.
Equally important is to stay away from very anxious or negative people, who can directly influence your emotional state. It may seem harsh at first, but this withdrawal will do you good in your quest for anxiety control and your mental health.
7. Do physical exercise 
Did you know that you can reduce anxiety with exercise? After all, it is one of the best natural solutions to fight anxiety. This is because physical exercise has numerous benefits for physical and mental health. Choose the one you most identify with and try to practice it regularly. The exercises will help to control anxiety, as they release tension trapped in the body and provide well-being and relaxation due to the production of endorphins.
A walk outdoors or at home, running, dancing, swimming, and gym are some of the alternatives and are part of this fundamental combo of how to deal with anxiety and have a healthier and happier life.
8. Take control
Anxiety makes us feel out of control. But you need to know that you can’t always be in command of your life. What you need is to identify anxiety triggers and control them.
For example, if the thought of attending a party or social event causes you anxiety attacks, instead of running away from the situation and avoiding dealing with it, think about what you could do to get more control. You could go to the party alone, in your car, so that you know you can leave whenever you want without depending on others. Very often, these small tricks are enough to mitigate the worries.
If it is a school or work situation that is causing your attacks, design an escape strategy. Even if you will never implement it, it is incredibly beneficial to feel that the situation is in your control, and you can end it when you want.
Since anxiety works a lot on what-if scenarios, also make a list of everything that could happen if you put your strategy into action, including worst-case scenarios. Next to the latter, write how you could react to limit their effects or (even better) be foresight and prevent them from occurring.
This is an amazing exercise to get you back on the ground. Very often, you may even realize that the worst thing that could happen is actually not as bad as it seemed in your head.
9. Do a guided meditation
Guided meditations can help people in an anxiety crisis to calm down. You can either open a video in an app or download a meditation to listen to on your mobile in stressful situations. If you’re at home, log on to a computer and look for a guided meditation to calm yourself down.
These meditations are ideal for working concentration, relieving muscle tension, and calming the mind on the go. As the guide helps you relax with soothing words, you stop thinking about the symptoms of the crisis.
10. Practice visualization
Another method you can use to reduce anxiety naturally is positive visualization. In a quiet room, take a deep breath and imagine being in a calming environment. It can be a place you like, like a beach or a public park, or it can be a figment of your imagination. The important thing is that he transmits peace to you. Do this exercise for as long as it takes to feel good.
11. Limit alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana
All these substances are harmful when consumed in excess. Although they all seem to induce the person to a state of momentary relaxation, it doesn’t take long for the opposite effects to appear. Alcohol may leave you euphoric and then relaxed, but that feeling goes along with the drinking, and the next day, the anxiety can be quite severe. The same happens with marijuana, which, despite inducing relaxation, can even trigger anxiety and panic crises, worsening anxiety over time.
12. Look for distractions
Look for distractions in the room or in the public environment where you find yourself. Count the number of people or decorative objects present. Use short movements with your arms, hands, legs, or feet to distract your mind.
Another idea is to download therapeutic apps to distract you. Thus, you will always have a source of distraction for anxious moments. Sometimes a simple distraction is enough to calm the racing heart and calm the mind. When you focus on your malaise, it tends to grow out of control.
13. Find a hobby or a pleasurable activity
You need to have activities that bring you relaxation and interest, and one of these activities can come through hobbies. Today, it is possible to find and delve into a number of hobbies through YouTube videos and discussion groups on the topic in various media. Find your favorite activity and do it in your free time!
If you still haven’t found yours, set aside some time of the day or week to do something you really enjoy. This moment of relaxation with yourself is extremely valuable.
14. See a psychologist or psychiatrist
Investing in your mental health is one of the most beautiful forms of self-care. Those who look for these professionals do so with the aim of improving their quality of life. After all, these experts can help anyone to modify certain behaviors that can increase their well-being and improve their interpersonal relationships in a very positive way.
If you’re feeling overly anxious and aren’t sure what to do to soothe it, a psychiatrist or psychologist will be your best friend right now. Look for a therapist you connect with. You can explore an affordable therapy option here.
No one said that controlling anxiety was an easy task, but if you’ve made it this far and are able to follow some of these strategies, it will only be a matter of time before you realize how far you’ve gone to reduce anxiety naturally. We also recommend trying the following course bundle: Refine Your Life Purpose & Wellness Course Bundle It is a masterpiece that will surely help you understand the meaning and origin of the anxiety you are experiencing. We hope you enjoy reading!
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Apr 7, 2022 | Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love
Let’s face it: we all want to be more confident. As a woman, being self-assured is a trait that most people search for their entire lives.
Even if you don’t like the idea of being the life of every party or walking into a room with heads turning, confidence can help you earn respect from those around you and give your self-esteem a boost as well as boost performance in almost every activity you do. Even though confidence seems like an intangible quality, it is actually made up of many components that anyone can learn and utilize in order to become more confident on any given day.
So where does one start?
There are lots of strategies available for self-confidence. Here are 11 tried-and-tested ones that you can try for yourself:
11 Activities Women Can Use for Building Confidence
1. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
This one is all about perspective.
When you are busy putting other people’s lives on a pedestal, you are essentially denying the wonderful person that you are and making yourself seem less significant in comparison to their greatness.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, why not concentrate on your own journey? Celebrate what makes you unique instead of tearing yourself down because someone else does it better than you do – remember that everyone has different strengths! Once you begin focusing on this positive mindset, confidence will come easier to you naturally.
2. Accept Compliments With A Smile And Say ‘Thank You’
We all know the phrase: modesty is a virtue. And while it may be true, you don’t have to become so modest that you always brush off people’s compliments as being untrue.
Even if you have your doubts about what someone says about you, learn to accept those words with grace and a warm smile instead of dismissing them or adding a disclaimer along the lines of “Oh, but I haven’t done anything to deserve this compliment…”
By brushing away kind words from others, you are essentially telling yourself that their praise isn’t worth much. After all, if their opinions matter so little to us, why should we care? Always thank a person when they give you a compliment – in any situation! You will be surprised by the difference it makes.
3. Make Eye Contact During Conversations But Don’t Forget To Listen
As a woman, when talking to someone, make sure to maintain eye contact with them for most of the conversation. It shows that you are paying attention and care about what they have to say.
However, don’t forget to listen as well! If your partner in the conversation has something important to add, do not ignore their words because you were too busy looking elsewhere while they spoke.
We all lose focus from time to time however, make sure that doesn’t happen during an important discussion or when one of your friends needs you.
Maintain eye contact, but also work at maintaining focus.
4. Dress to Impress (Yourself)
By dressing the part, you are essentially telling yourself that you can do anything.
When you look good, your brain tells itself that you are ready to take on any challenge that comes your way. And wearing something comfortable, will also boost your confidence because who wants to let anxiety get in the way of looking fabulous?
So next time you have a big presentation at work or want to feel more confident, make sure to dress for success – it works!
5. Fake It & ‘Til You Make It
We’ve all heard the phrase before, fake it ’til you make it.
For many people who struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy, acting as though they possess confidence can be a helpful way to become more confident in the long term.
So instead of getting stuck in a rut because you doubt your abilities, start faking it until you actually feel it! Your body language will change and people will begin taking notice. Before you know it, your true self will come shining through and all those around you will see how amazing you really are.
6. Keep A Journal About All The Things You Love About Yourself
As the old saying goes: if you don’t love yourself then no one else can love you either. So why not take some time for yourself every day and write down all the things that make YOU unique?
If you are anything like us, there are probably dozens of reasons why you are amazing. Start this journal as a way to recognize all the things that make you an incredible person!
Once you start doing this on a daily basis, your confidence will flourish because instead of letting your insecurities hold you back, you will be able to let them go – one by one.
7. Practice Meditation To Clear Your Mind
Meditation is an incredibly helpful practice for anyone struggling with anxiety or stress. It can be difficult at first but over time you will notice reduced feelings of worry and negativity because meditation helps clear your mind so no more thoughts have room to run wild inside it.
This practice may take some getting used to, but it is well worth the effort because meditation brings you one step closer to inner peace.
8. Get To Know Yourself More By Writing A Self-Esteem Letter
Another great way of boosting your confidence and self-worth is by writing a letter to yourself!
Take some time every day and try writing down all of the best things about you and why they matter so much to those around you, whether that’s your partner, parents, or friends.
Think of this as an assignment: reread your letter as many times as needed until you begin feeling better about yourself. Nobody else needs to see this list, so don’t worry about sharing it with others just yet – just focus on what makes you special!
9. Give Yourself A Compliment Everyday
This is another simple yet effective way to boost your confidence and make yourself feel good about the things you already do every day.
Every night before bed, write down one thing that you love about yourself or did well throughout the day. It could be something as small as paying off a bill on time or making it to work on time without hitting any traffic.
Then once you finish writing down everything that makes you great, tuck it away somewhere safe where no one else can see until tomorrow’s list is ready for writing! Keep this up every day and soon enough, your list will have some very long entries because there are so many qualities that make you so special.
10. Let Go Of Things That Aren’t Going To Make You Happy
In order to feel good about yourself and be confident in who you are, you have to believe that your life is worth living – which means taking steps every day to remove the things from your life that don’t make you happy anymore.
For example, one or two relationships may not be working out the way we thought they would, and holding on to them can be detrimental if it begins making us unhappy instead of happy. So cut ties with those people and surround yourself with those who make you feel good about yourself and help you grow.
11. Set Goals And Be Grateful For Everything You Accomplish
For some, setting goals can be an incredibly daunting task.
However, we promise you, that even if you’re someone who doesn’t typically set short-term or long-term goals for yourself, it will be well worth it in the end when you start seeing all of your hard work pay off.
Every time you accomplish something that is important to you, write it down and add it to a running list of everything that makes you happy and everything that inspires you; this will also give weight to how much progress is being made by you which helps fuel your motivation to continue on the path of success.
Another thing that can really help with this is if you frame each goal with a positive affirmation, like “I Am Grateful” or “I Am Confident” – doing this will make it easier to embrace all the things you are capable of and help keep yourself accountable for achieving them!
Wrapping up
All of these tips can help build your confidence as a woman. This is because as you become happier with yourself, the more confident you will become too – even if it does take a little extra time and effort!
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Mar 29, 2022 | Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
A lot of where we are in life has to do with our own personal levels of confidence and self-esteem. Self-esteem is simply confidence in one’s worth and abilities. When we are low in self-esteem, we tend to doubt our abilities and question our value. However, when self-esteem is high, a person feels empowered and capable of having whatever their heart desires.
It’s no secret that our life is a result of what we do. And, our actions are a result of how we think and how we feel. Moreover, when someone doesn’t think highly of themselves, there is a tendency to settle for a life of mediocrity. To be clear, living in mediocrity has less to do with living a minimalist life and more to do with settling for things you don’t truly want out of fear.
It’s important for us to know what we want for ourselves, what makes us fulfilled. For example, you may dream of having your very own hair salon. However, you may also struggle with low self-esteem and self-doubt. Thus, out of fear, you don’t pursue that dream. Instead, you choose to settle for something you deem a bit more “practical”.
All women should understand that confidence has the ability to lift the weight off your shoulders and make the unattainable look tangible. What appears impossible starts to look very probable as we begin to feel more capable in our abilities.
Such confidence and self-assurance should be instilled from childhood to ensure a very healthy, productive, and self-sufficient, adult life. However, such experiences don’t always pan out that way especially when dealing with generational trauma. In this case, a scarcity mindset and low self-esteem are things that can be passed down.
While we can’t select all of the experiences we have in life, we can surely choose how we want to respond to these experiences.
To improve self-esteem, we must have self-accountability. If you’re a woman looking to boost your confidence and self-esteem, it’s important to understand the signs of low self-esteem, the importance of having confidence, and tips to help you boost your confidence.
Where Low Self-Esteem Comes From
A struggle with low self-esteem can come from many different places. Here are a few examples.
Toxic Dating Relationships
Toxic relationships have the ability to deteriorate our self-esteem. Such relationships entail abusive language, physical abuse, betrayal, trust issues, and co-dependency. None of these things exemplify love nor is it healthy to entertain.
Unsupportive Parents
Perhaps we didn’t hear the encouraging words we needed to hear from our parents. This lack of approval and recognition is something that can stick with us for a long time. Without encouragement and support, one can grow up with a lot of self-doubt, questioning their ability to accomplish certain tasks.
Childhood Abuse & Neglect
Childhood abuse and neglect are major factors that contribute to low self-esteem. While a large part of how others treat us is dependent upon how we treat ourselves, it wasn’t always like this. As children growing up, how others treated us determined how we’d treat ourselves including ourselves. In cases of childhood abuse and neglect, a child may internalize this treatment as something normal.
Bullying
When we’re younger, we are especially sensitive to the harsh words others project onto us. It is why children often internalize these harsh words. In the fragile mind of a growing child, these words often solidify as belief systems when left to fester.
But bullying can happen in our adult lives too such as in the workplace.
Negative People
Constantly being around negative people is a sure way to minimize one’s self-esteem. The subconscious mind is like a sponge that soaks up everything it hears and sees. When around people who complain about hardship all the time, we are more likely to share these feelings and victim mindset.
Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to another can make us question our worth. This can be especially dangerous when aspiring to have things that don’t make you happy. It’s like trying to squeeze into a shoe that isn’t your size and then crying about it. We are all different. Avoidance of acknowledging one’s uniqueness is one way to diminish self-esteem.
Unrealistic Expectations
Living for others is not only disingenuous to one’s self but it is also frustrating. Everyone has their own ideas regarding success, happiness, and fulfillment. And, it doesn’t always look the same. When we try to meet other peoples’ expectations of us, we find ourselves living a life that isn’t authentic. Instead, it becomes burdensome trying to maintain a facade.
Traumatic Events
Issues of low self-esteem usually begin at a tender age. Traumatic events can trigger these things. For example, children often blame themselves when witnessing parental conflicts such as fighting or divorce. Many kids believe these occurrences are at their own fault. This places a major burden on a child where they feel like they’re the root cause of the turmoil and chaos.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
Here are some of the common signs of low self-esteem:
- Avoidance of Trying New Things
- Feeling Lonely and Unwanted
- Fear of Failure
- Unable to Accept Compliments
- Self-Deprecating Humor
- Unmotivated
- Comparing One’s Self to Others
- Staying in Unhealthy Relationships
- Self-Sabotaging
- Anxiety and/or Depression
If you recognize these signs and symptoms in yourself, the following tips can help you take steps towards improving your self-esteem and growing confidence.
Self-Esteem Tips for Women
Forgive Yourself
Guilt, resentment, and regret are all feelings that carry a heavy weight. Boost confidence and improve self-esteem by forgiving yourself first. We should forgive ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made in life and choose to do better. These few decisions do not define us. It is what we choose to do afterward that is a true depiction of who we are.
Identify the Source of Pain
Where is the pain? By identifying the source of our issues with confidence, we can begin to forgive others and forgive ourselves. Knowing this information is key to understanding self-defeatist habits and thought processes.
Forgive Others
Animosity and grudges towards others are also burdensome. It requires a lot of energy to hold onto conflict. Forgive others to relieve yourself of that weight. The act of forgiveness frees us to accept better things into our lives without self-sabotaging good opportunities.
Practice Self-Love
Self-love is a belief and lifestyle which prioritizes self-improvement. By practicing self-love every day, we see our lives transform as our self-perception shifts into a more loving place. Self-love makes us more compassionate towards ourselves. Examples of self-love activities include the tips listed here to boost confidence and improve self-esteem.
Recite Positive Affirmations 
Replace Self-Deprecation with Self-Empowerment by reciting positive affirmations. As previously stated, the subconscious mind is like a sponge. It can also be seen as a garden. Women should water their minds with loving words and positive affirmative statements. Negative affirmations act as weeds that stifle the growth of those beautiful flowers in your garden. By affirming happiness, abundance, and success, weeds of doubt, negativity, and limitation begin to melt away.
Redefine What Happiness Means to You
Live for yourself. Let go of the expectations others have of you. It isn’t your responsibility to fit into the mold other people make for you but to create a mold of your own. Happiness to one person may mean being a successful doctor that makes 6 figures while others find fulfillment in living a minimalist life. It’s up to you to define what happiness and success mean to you.
Create a Gratitude List
Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for. This could be your family, friends, job, pet, etc. Feeling gratitude makes us feel more fulfilled. It’s okay to want more. However, obsessing over what you don’t have contributes to feelings of low self-esteem and not feeling good enough. A gratitude list helps shift this focus into a much healthier place.
Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation shows us that we aren’t our thoughts nor our emotions. We become observers of these things from an objective stance. After doing mindfulness meditation long enough, we notice certain patterns in our thinking. Thus, we’re able to identify and diffuse triggers, taking our power back.
Remove Toxic People
Remove negative people from your life. Hanging around toxic people is like having a heavy gray cloud following you around. These individuals can even be people we consider our friends and family. Such people may minimize your accomplishments and discourage you from going after your dreams. So, it’s best to keep these people at bay.
Get a Plant
Loneliness is one feeling that accompanies low self-esteem. Having a few household plants helps to alleviate this feeling. It’s nice to surround yourself with life and vibrancy. This acclimates the mind into a healthier space where you don’t feel so lonely. Taking care of these plants will also be therapeutic by giving you a much-needed sense of accomplishment.
Invest in Your Dreams
Acknowledge your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. All women must know they are deserving of manifesting their dreams. Exercising, eating healthy, and educating yourself are all ways to invest in yourself. Self-knowledge is a wonderful investment. If you want to start a business, invest your time, energy, and money into researching and financing this endeavor.
It’s important for women to improve self-esteem and boost confidence. High self-esteem immediately removes limitations and blockages. It feels like wearing a cape and feeling like you’re capable of moving mountains. When you’re in this space, you feel unmovable, unshakable, and unstoppable. These self-esteem tips for women will help those women struggling with their confidence by providing an effective guideline to follow.
