by The Lovely Refinement Team | Aug 7, 2020 | Dealing With Emotions, Happiness Tips, Self-Improvement
10 Tips to Help Overcome Stress Once and For All
Are you stressed out in life? How do you handle stress and pressure? Learning how to handle stress and pressure can help you transform your life into one that you love.
I think we’re all feeling a little stressed out this year in the midst of the pandemic. But let’s not forget that many of us were already stressed out before this current situation hit. It just elevated it a lot.
So, let’s talk about stress on a deeper level. Obviously, a worldwide pandemic in the midst of an election year in America is going to cause everyone to feel a new level of stress and pressure.
But “normal” life can leave us feeling stressed out all on its own.
Think about it for a minute.
- The bills are rolling in faster than the money is hitting the bank.
- You really want to find the right person, but the thought of meeting new people just seems like too much to handle.
- That promotion at work seemed like a good idea, but now all you do is work and imposter syndrome hits you daily.
- You want to move to a new city, but you worry about what others will think of such a big move.
Honestly, you probably don’t even need reminders about what could cause you stress. If you’re reading this right now, something probably popped into your head instantly.
Maybe a situation that you don’t know what to do about. Or maybe it’s a relationship that has become a struggle. It could even be stress about not knowing what the future holds.
Stress happens. It’s part of life. Don’t feel guilty or ashamed if you struggle with it.
Why stress happens
Believe it or not, stress is meant to be a good thing. It’s one of the ways that your body tries to protect you. Here’s an example:
You’re out on a walk one day and you see a lioness who looks like she’s hunting you. It’s time to act quick. It’s not time to sit and think of a plan. You need to spring into action. Your body floods with stress hormones that trigger the fight or flight response.
Your brain knows that you either need to prepare to defend yourself or get the heck out of there fast.
That makes perfect sense, right? But here’s the problem. You probably aren’t facing life or death, dangerous situations on a regular basis. When you’re in a situation like this, stress helps keep you safe. Once your out of danger, your body works to return to normal.
However, when you’re experiencing daily stress from work, unhealthy relationships, an overwhelmed schedule, or an anxiety disorder, your body is constantly staying in that stressed-out zone. It’s not serving the purpose that it was meant to serve. And it can quickly become unhealthy.
Stress management is important!
Because we experience stress from so many different sources and in so many different ways, it’s really important to learn how to manage it in a healthy way.
Why stress is bad for you
I probably don’t have to tell you that stress affects your health. And it’s not just your mental health. You’re probably feeling it in your body too.
- You can’t sleep at night
- It feels like you’re constantly in a fog
- Your muscles are tight
- You have frequent headaches
- You’re super irritable, even with people you usually enjoy being with
- Your stomach and/or digestive systems feels like a mess
- It may feel like the tension and pressure is building up throughout your body
Stress can make life just feel too hard.
If you let stress go unchecked in your life it can lead to all kinds of problems. It can cause heart issues, relationship challenges, weight fluctuations, and all kinds of other things you don’t want to experience when trying to live your best life.
Living in stress and anxiety can also negatively impact your ability to make decisions.
The more stressed you are, the more you react based on natural instinct. Again, this is good if you come face to face with a wild animal, but not so much in your day-to-day life.
You want to make decisions based on your knowledge and life experiences. You want to use your full brain power in life, not always act based on instinct.
If stress is a major problem for you, then it’s probably playing a big role in how you make decisions. That means if you don’t learn how to manage your stress, you’re going to struggle to make the changes that you want to in life.
You need to learn to get your stress under control.
Stress management techniques that DON’T work
Dealing with stress isn’t easy. And if you try to avoid dealing with it in a healthy way, you probably find yourself dealing with it in a not-so-healthy way.
Can you identify with any of these behaviors?
- Popping open a new bottle of wine and polishing it off day after day
- Binging on Netflix for hours and hours
- Frequent shopping sprees on Amazon or (insert your favorite store name here)
- Looking for love in all the wrong places
- Letting food be your comfort
These are not successful or healthy ways to handle stress. These are known as “escape behaviors”. They may help you feel better for the moment, but it will be short-lived. And you probably feel even more stressed after indulging.
Don’t feel guilty. These are normal behaviors that people turn to when fighting stress on a regular basis. Feeling ashamed or guilty about it isn’t going to help you.
You don’t need to pile on one more thing to stress about.
Instead, turn your focus to learning how to manage stress in a healthy way.
10 stress management techniques that work
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Below are ten different stress management techniques for you to try. You may find that some work better for you than others. Do what works best for you.
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Exercise
Before you scroll on past this section, hear me out for a second.
I know that “exercise” is mentioned all over the place. I also know that it’s an easy trigger for anxiety, guilt, and shame.
You know that you’re supposed to be exercising. You might even struggle with comparing yourself with that super cute coworker who looks like she spends all her spare time in the gym.
That’s not what this is about.
No judgment, shame, or guilt is allowed here. This is simply exercising to help relieve your stress. It can be anything that works for you.
You don’t have to follow some crazy, challenging workout regimen. And it’s not about losing weight, toning your body, or anything like that. This is all about your mental health.
There are TONS of benefits for your mental health from exercising.
Even just going for a simple walk each day can reduce your stress, lower your risk of depression, and help your brain release mood-boosting chemicals. If you want to read more about the benefits, you can check out this article from BetterHelp: The Top Six Mental Health Benefits of Exercise.
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Write it down
Stress and pressure have a way of growing when you try to keep it to yourself. When stress is too much, there’s something that can feel liberating about putting it into words and getting it out of your head.
It’s easy to let anxious and stressful thoughts just roll around in your head. When you do this, it’s really easy for that stress to grow and the pressure to build.
It’s also easy to get stuck in wrong thought patterns without even realizing it. You can end up worrying about things that you don’t really need to spend time focusing on.
When you put your thoughts into words, it can help you gain perspective. You may see that some of the things you’ve been stressing about are things that you can let go. There are other things that you may be able to find action steps for once you see them written out instead of floating around in your head.
There are two approaches you can take once you have all your stress written down. You can hit the delete key or rip your paper and get rid of it forever. Or you can keep your stress writing in a journal to reflect on later.
If you’re able to keep it written in a journal and look back on it in a way that encourages you to overcome stress in the future, then I recommend doing that.
But if you find that you keep going back to your journal and reliving your stressful moments and concerns over and over again, get rid of it. That’s not serving the purpose of stress management.
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Talk to your friends
Isn’t there just something about pouring out your heart and all your crazy thoughts to a friend? That person that won’t judge what’s coming out of your head. The woman who can totally empathize with the stress you’re feeling because she’s felt it too.
It’s the beauty of friendship.
Don’t try to carry and handle stress and pressure by yourself.
Get together or call up that friend that you can be completely yourself around and let it all out. She may be able to help you gain a new perspective on a stressful situation. Or she may just be a listening ear and shoulder to cry on.
If you don’t have any friends that you feel you can really trust, find a support system to connect with.
Don’t ever feel alone in your struggles with stress. There are lots of other women who are going through similar situations and struggling with the pressures and stress they face each day as well.
If you’re looking for a place to connect, you can join the Lovely Refinement free mental health support group. Not only will you get free eBooks to help you reduce anxiety, but you’ll also be connected with over 500 women in the Facebook group.
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Lower your expectations
As women, we often feel like we’re supposed to conquer the world. We have careers to build, and social lives to maintain, and we’re supposed to always look like we have it all together.
We feel the pressure that we must maintain this picture-perfect life.
Who are we kidding?
Sometimes the stress and pressure that we feel is coming from within. We set unrealistic expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet.
“Superwoman” might sound like a great title, and you might have loved the Wonder Woman movie, but here’s the thing—it’s not real!
There’s only so much that one person can take on and successfully handle on any given day. If you’re spending your time trying to be “perfect”, you’re probably going to start feeling stressed out. That’s normal.
Don’t be afraid to lower the bar and be realistic about what you can handle right now.
There are different times in life when you can take on more than others. This may be one of those times that you need to lower your expectations for yourself.
And here’s the kicker—DON’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT DOING IT! It’s perfectly acceptable and OK. Don’t let anyone make you feel that it’s not.
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Take a look at your calendar & get organized
When learning how to handle stress, it may help to take a look at your schedule. Did Superwoman show up one day when you weren’t paying attention and overbooked your calendar? It may be time to start cutting some things out.
Sit down and make a list of everything that you have on your plate at the moment. Then, prioritize your list. What things can you cut out? Can you delegate anything? Are there things that can be moved to the back burner to tackle when you aren’t under so much stress?
Once you have a list of the things that you really need to do—the things that need your attention—you can start to see where to focus your attention.
There are a few different ways that you can move forward from here. You can choose to work on the most important things first until you get them done. Or you could choose to work on the things that are fastest to finish so you can cross them off your list.
Do what works best for you.
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Find something to laugh about
Laughter really is the best medicine and it helps with handling stress too.
There’s a lot of science behind how this works, but the basic information is that your laughter triggers your brain to release endorphins that make you feel good. They even help reduce the amount of pain that you feel.
So, when you feel the pressure coming on and the stress is building in your life, find something that makes you laugh.
Watch a funny YouTube video. Call up your hilarious friend. Have Alexa tell you a few jokes. Or stream your favorite comedian’s latest show.
And if you can, combine this with #3 and get together and laugh with your friends. Allow yourself to have fun and be distracted from the latest and greatest stress in your life, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
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Create some simple wins in your life
When you’re under a lot of stress, it may feel like you can’t seem to succeed at anything. You may notice that as your anxiety builds, your confidence starts to decline. This can cause you to feel even more pressure in life.
You can fight this by creating and tracking small successes in your day. This may also involve you changing the way that you think about success.
Success doesn’t have to be big in order for you to celebrate it.
If you’re under stress and pressure or dealing with anxiety and depression, even the little things in your day can feel overwhelming. Many people struggling with mental health challenges like anxiety also struggle to do things like clean up the house, get the bills paid on time, and cook dinner.
If you’re doing these things, count them as successes.
Every evening, write down at least three things that you succeeded at doing during the day. Keep a running list. As you see the list of things that you have accomplished grow (even those small things), you’ll probably notice your attention start to shift from your stress to your success. And your confidence will begin to grow.
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Think about what you’re thankful for
I know there are just times in life when it doesn’t seem like there’s anything to be thankful for. When the stress becomes too much, it can start to consume your thoughts and your life. But you have the power to control your thoughts.
That’s right! You don’t have to spend time thinking about things that leave you stressed out and overwhelmed.
Yes, there are times when you may need to think about something that causes you stress. But it doesn’t have to be all that you think about.
If you’re not used to controlling what you think about, it may feel super challenging when you get started. The trick is to find something positive that you can think about instead of just trying not to think about the stressful thing.
This is where gratitude enters the picture.
No matter how bad your situation seems, there’s something you can be grateful for. It may be that you have a best friend to confide in. Or that you’re able to walk and talk. You may be thankful that you have a job that pays the bills or that you had a clean pair of pants to put on this morning.
Spend time each day making a list of things that you’re grateful for. Think of a few things in the morning before your feet hit the floor. Then, do it again before you fall asleep at night.
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Play out the stress in your head
I know this is going to sound weird, but I have talked with multiple women who find this strategy really helpful when they’re feeling stressed out about a situation.
Think about whatever the situation is that you’re worried about. Then, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”. Once you answer it, ask yourself, “Then, what would I do?”.
This forces you to play out step by step the situation that you’ve been allowing to cause you stress.
Some women find that when they do this it helps to remove some of the anxiety they have over the situation. You may realize that the worst-case scenario isn’t as bad as they thought. Or you may realize that you’re stronger than you thought and even if the worst-case scenario happens, you’ll still be OK.
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Don’t be afraid to get help
There is no shame in talking to a therapist. There’s a stigma around mental health that stops people from getting the help they need.
Don’t let that be an obstacle for you!
And don’t fall for the myth that you need to have some kind of serious mental health disorder to see a therapist. A licensed therapist can help you with things like:
- Learning how to handle everyday stress
- Setting priorities
- Finding time management skills that help you regain control of your life
- Identifying where stress and anxiety stem from
- Improving stressful relationships with others in your life
- Learning how to gain control of your thoughts
- Overcoming negative thought patterns
It can even help to talk to a therapist if you aren’t sure what the problem is in your life, but you just feel like something’s off.
If you’re struggling, you don’t have to go through it alone. You can even do virtual therapy to make it easier on yourself.
How do you handle stress and pressure?
There are stressful situations that are going to come up from time to time. There are things that will happen that are outside of your control. Everyone handles stress in their own way.
That’s life.
You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t feel and experience stress and pressure in life. But you don’t have to let it get the best of you.
Try the tips above and start finding what works for you. And, check out the Anxiety Action Plan + Workbook available in the shop for just $19. You’ll learn an 8-step plan to reduce your anxiety once and for all.
Let’s make this the day that you decide to overcome stress instead of letting it control you!
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jul 31, 2020 | Dealing With Emotions
When life gets hard, remember these 10 things. Because, as we all know, life isn’t always easy. Life is tough, life is rough, and sometimes life is just unfair.
In fact, life is pretty hard most of the time. There are moments when things go smoothly, and life feels great.
But, there are also a lot of dark times and feelings of uncertainty. Sometimes, you might even have a string of bad events happening in your life. When life is hard it becomes really easy to fall into the trap of despair and negativity, but by changing the way you look at the hardship and your circumstances, you can find a path through.
Making it really hard to have hope or see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been there.
I’ve dealt with deaths, break-ups, toxic jobs, shitty living situations, and frequent moments when I am so unsure of my purpose and my worth. I should admit that even with all these I didn’t have a rough life. There are people with far worse struggles and circumstances than mine. But I do feel like I can share some of my views and journeys and hopefully, someone will find it beneficial or relevant.
Life isn’t supposed to be a walk in the park. Life gets hard. We learn and grow through the hard times. We can’t change our
It’s supposed to knock you on your ass sometimes and make you question everything.
That’s how you build up resilience, and how you get the strength to keep swimming.
Here Are Some Things to Remember When Life Gets Hard
Make sure that you pin this article so that when life gets hard, you can re-read this.
1. There is a Light at the End of the Tunnel
You can’t see it when you’re stuck in a shitty situation. When you feel hopeless and don’t know where to go next.
Stumbling around in the dark trying to find that light, day in and day out will get old.
But, you have to remember it’s there. And remember why you have kept pushing this long.
Hopelessness is the most powerful feeling. And it can swallow you up. But, just keep believing there is a light out there. Sometimes life is hard, and you feel like sitting in a dark hole or being washed around in a constant washing machine of problems. But never doubt that you will get to the other side, and it will make you feel so much stronger knowing that you have got what it takes to survive anything when life gets you down.
I know you believe it’s there, and you just have to keep believing and you will pull yourself out. Always believe in hope. As that great quote from The Shawshank Redemption movie goes, “Hope is a good thing and good things never die“.
2. Every Challenge is a Learning Opportunity
This is hard to see in the moment. When life gets hard and everything is extra challenging, it just feels hard and you won’t want to see it as an opportunity for growth.
But, try to remember a time when you went through something really challenging and got out of it.
Remember how you felt when you were in the middle of it. And now look at where you are, and how far you have come.
Every challenge thrown at you in your lifetime is an opportunity to learn and build strength.
The feeling that you have been able to learn something is immensely empowering, and it helps you to build up the inner strength and emotional armor for any future hard times.
It’s what morphs you into the person you’re supposed to become.
3. You Don’t Have to Have it All Figured Out
Sometimes life gets hard when you think you should have your life together by now.
When you’re not where you’re supposed to be, it’s easy to feel defeated.
The truth about life is: it’s messy. Things don’t go as planned, people change, and we grow.
What you wanted last year might not be the same as what you want now. And we live in a society where we should know what we want and be successful.
The pressures can break you if you try too hard to follow a path that might not be the right one for you.
Stop trying to do things just for the sake of doing them. Even as you get older, your life won’t always go as you planned.
If you can learn to let go of this belief, life won’t feel so hard.
4. Change is Just a Part of it
The only constant in life is change. I wish it wasn’t true. If I could stay a kid forever, I definitely would.
Change is one of the hardest parts of life. But, it’s something that will never stop.
Maybe trying to embrace it more would help cushion the blow. You need to change in order to grow, and things around you do too.
Let go of trying to hold onto things that just aren’t the same anymore and try to move into the flow of change.
And remember “Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it.”
It’s all about you and your attitude towards your life.
5. Failure Isn’t a Bad Thing
First off, if you love something enough and keep working at it, you’ll never fail. And, with everything else, you probably don’t care enough to have it in your life.
Relationships fail, jobs fail, and we sometimes give up on things.
You let go of things because you have to, and it can feel like a huge failure in the moment.
I’ve failed at a lot of things in life and all of them were because I just didn’t care enough about them to continue.
Instead, I focused on the things I did care about, and now my life is pretty much how I want it to be.
Letting go of things that you don’t enjoy anymore isn’t failing. It’s just you are moving onto better things that your soul is searching for.
6. Anything Worth Having in Life Isn’t Easy
It’s true. But, if you want it bad enough, you won’t mind putting up with all the bullshit.
I’ve spent hours on my blog not making a penny and have felt way more joy and fulfillment than any minute I spent at my old job.
You might be in a spot where you feel lost and have no idea what to do next.
That’s just because you haven’t found what you need yet. And it will come, at the right time.
When you do find something that fills your heart up, don’t let it go. Even if it doesn’t make any logical sense.
The things you want out of life might be what others don’t approve of. Or they might be insanely far out of reach.
And it might feel impossible. But, you just have to eventually realize that you are the one who creates your reality.
Taking the road less traveled is messy and sometimes freaking hard.
But, it’s also a great way to learn more about yourself, listen to yourself more, and do things you wouldn’t ever imagine doing.
7. You Will Pull Through Anything
If you are willing to fight and push back, you will get through anything.
Life’s a bitch. It hurts and it’s unfair and there are moments when you will absolutely want to give up on it all.
But, eventually, time passes. In the moment, it will feel unbearable and you’ll want to smack anyone in the face who says, “Just give it time”.
Those moments will build up your durability, though. And when you make it through one of the shittiest moments life throws at you, you’ll know you can get through anything.
You just have to keep pushing, even if that just means getting up every day and getting through the day.
8. It’s Ok to Not be Ok
You won’t always have the best mindset. Most people don’t. We all go through tough crap.
And when you aren’t feeling alright, please give yourself a break. Don’t try to just ignore it and beat yourself up over feeling bad.
Instead, listen to your body. Take things slow and practice self-care. Let go of the thoughts that say “I should be happy. I should just be grateful.”
And embrace how you feel in the moment. If your mind is saying “I hate everything”.
Then it’s a good time to just stay home and watch a movie.
9. You’re Not Alone
Feeling down, upset, or scared while others around you look happy can make you feel very alone.
But, you’re not the only one going through what you’re going through.
Everyone struggles. Sometimes people don’t like to talk about it because they don’t want to bring others down.
Or they don’t want others to worry. But, you just have to remember that you are not alone.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to others because the closest people to you want to know what’s going on.
They are there for you. And it’s seriously ok to not be ok all the time. It’s what makes you human!
10. Remember what really matters
When life gets tough it is crucial to remember which things are really important, and which things look important, but they are not.
When you wake up, appreciate the air filling your lungs. Appreciate the sunrise with a warm coffee. See the smiles on stranger’s faces when you smile and wave at them. Phone your loved ones, and just tell them to have an amazing day, and that you love them. Take a moment to smell the flowers on your way to work, or just the coffee shop and their freshly baked goods.
These acts seem so trivial and so small but believe me they can make a massive difference when life gets hard. They free your mind from the issues or the stresses that might be holding you captive.
11. One Last Thing to Remember
You will never reach a point in life where you don’t have problems.
Sometimes people strive to be successful and make a lot of money so they can get rid of all their problems.
But, life just doesn’t work that way. You will have moments when everything is going great, and then you’ll hit a speed bump.
During these times, just remember it’s a part of life. It’s not a direct hit to you.
When we are constantly thrown curveballs in life, it can feel personal. Like something’s wrong with you, and that you will always struggle.
If you continue to let each problem knock you down, it will break you down over time.
Instead, just remember that no matter your age, you will get hit with the unexpected sometimes.
What’s important is learning how to handle it when it happens. Believing in yourself to push through it will help.
Think of everything you’ve gone through in life and believe you will get through everything else that will happen.
Don’t ever give up, because remember things do change. Life gets good, then it gets hard, then it gets good.
Learn to trust the process a little more, and life will be easier to handle.
Now, go and download our FREE mental wellness kit and use it to boost all areas of your life 🙂
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Mar 23, 2020 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Improvement
Let’s talk about how to keep living your life when you have depression. Normally I write about anxiety on the blog, but today I want to dive a little bit deeper into depression.
Ah, depression. The thing so many people have and yet nobody wants to talk about.
It’s like some sort of voodoo. Where we all feel like something is wrong with us if we do have it and none of us want to admit we might have it.
I’m just going to lay it out there: depression sucks, but it’s not the worst thing in the world to have it.
How to Keep Living Your Life When You Have Depression
It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you if you struggle with it. Having depression just makes you human, seriously. There are many people out there who have depression and are able to live amazing lives.
This is so you know there’s no reason to feel ashamed if you do struggle with it.
I personally have learned that through a lot of trial and error. Depression wiggled its way into my life a few years ago and has stayed a very active visitor ever since.
Some days it’s not so bad and I actually feel pretty good. But when depression hits, it hits hard.
Last week a family member passed away, and I honestly didn’t know if I could go back to work and continue on with my life.
When depression hits it can honestly just make you believe that your life doesn’t matter, the people around you don’t matter, and that nobody would care if you ceased to exist.
Your mind goes against you. Any positive thoughts you have just go out the window and you’re just left there with the evil inner critic that is working its hardest to break you down.
During the days when my mental state is good, I work hard at remembering what that feels like. Because when I get depressed, I tend to forget.
I wanted to write this post for anyone out there who is struggling or has struggled with depression.
Below are a few ways you can work on it. I still deal with it, but I get through it. And every time I make it through to the other side, I am so grateful.
If you can, try to think of your depression as a head cold. It will knock you on your ass sometimes and you will be mentally too weak to fight it.
But it will pass, and you have to work on believing. And there are many ways to manage your depression to prevent it from getting unbearable.
I wish that it wasn’t as powerful as it was. It’s as though you’re in a Marvel movie where the bad guy has taken over your mind.
Sorry for all of the analogies… hopefully, you get my point.
How to keep living your life when you have depression
Before we dig into my advice on how to keep living your life when you have depression, I want to let you know that I offer a free mental health support group, and every member gets a free mental wellness kit. Join here.
1. Be open to talking to someone about it
I get that talking about depression is not easy. Especially when you know you’ll be ok, just not right now. And you don’t want other people thinking something is seriously wrong.
Depression should be taken seriously, but it doesn’t mean people will instantly judge you for the thoughts you have.
There are resources out there for your mental health. You should speak to professionals who know what you’re going through, and they will know how to make it better.
Please don’t give up on the hope that nobody understands what you’re going through. It’s actually quite the opposite. Most people get it, it’s just difficult communicating it sometimes.
Finding the right people to talk to can quickly make you feel better.
2. Listen to what your mind is telling you
Obviously, if you’re depressed then you will be listening to those awful thoughts that are making you feel worse.
But, try to dig a little deeper and figure out what your brain is actually telling you.
We all have insecurities and automatic thoughts we jump to when we aren’t feeling our best.
Thoughts like “I’m not good enough.” “I don’t know what the point of life is.” “Nobody cares about me” etc.
However, these thoughts are a cover-up of what you’re actually feeling.
What situations in your life have occurred recently that are making you feel this way? Did you get laid off? Did you recently end a relationship? Are you stuck in a job you hate and are wondering if this is all there is?
Start questioning what is causing your automatic negative thoughts. Work on digging deeper.
Automatic negative thoughts are there to actually prevent you from thinking more about what is bothering you. I
It’s easier to just say “I’m not good at anything.” than to think, “How can I improve from this situation? Is there anything I could have done differently?”
Work on stopping the self-sabotage and listening to your thoughts.
3. Change your environment
Sometimes the environment we are living or working in can be the underlying cause of depression.
If your job doesn’t make you feel your best, it might be time to evaluate if it is serving you enough.
And if your home life is less than ideal you may need to shine a light on what is causing you to feel so bad and work on fixing it.
I used to be in a toxic relationship that made me so depressed most days. I lived with the guy and never felt all that good.
It wasn’t until I had to force myself out of the situation that I started to feel much better.
You deserve to feel good about your life and if your environment is negatively affecting your mental health then your depression could be a sign telling you it’s time for a positive change.
4. Keep doing the little things, even if you really don’t want to
Last week my boss asked me if I could be back at work. That pressure immediately turned me off from ever wanting to go back.
I shut down and avoided his calls. I just was not ready to face work again and deal with responsibilities.
Not going to work made sense for last week but avoiding it for the rest of my life wasn’t possible. This week, I forced myself to go back and honestly felt a lot better mentally.
When you have depression, you won’t think anything will help. Going to the gym, watching a movie, talking to friends… all of these things seem pointless.
But, to avoid falling into a deep depression, you have to force yourself to keep doing those little things.
It’s okay to take a break from certain responsibilities if you aren’t feeling your best. Self-care comes first.
But, shutting down and avoiding everything will only make you feel worse. (I’m saying this from experience!).
When you want to retreat back to home and avoid your usual routine, instead try to do one or two things you would normally do.
Maybe that’s walking your dog around the block or calling your best friend. Keep up with those little things, because those little things could literally save your life.
5. Make a commitment to working at it every day
Taking care of your mental health should be your number one priority.
It honestly should be everyone’s first priority. Once your mental health is taken care of, you can literally conquer the world.
If you want to start making it one of your main priorities then make it a daily commitment.
Create a daily routine based on improving your mental health.
Some ways you can do that are:
- Set aside 5 minutes a day to write in your journal about how you’re feeling
- Practice mindfulness meditation
- Go for a 30-minute walk
- Try something different every day
- Find something that makes you laugh
- Practice gratitude for everything in your life
6. Do more of the things you love
It’s so easy to lose track of the things we enjoy in life. When we have to work most hours of the week and give ourselves over to other responsibilities.
But, adding in more things you love to do will help fight against your depression.
Partly because it will give you a reason to feel excited about things again.
Music has always been a huge part of what kept me going in life. Life got in the way and I stopped trying to make playlists and seek out the music that made me feel so much better.
I made it a point to create a playlist this week with all of my favorite songs and I felt so much more in tune with myself and the world.
That’s because I could really relate to what they were singing about, and I didn’t feel so alone in my thoughts.
Do more of what you love, and if you can’t remember what that is work on finding it again.
7. Rid yourself of the bullshit
Last but not least, ignore the bullshit. There is no right or wrong way to heal from depression.
Some days will be harder than others. But, that doesn’t you are destined to feel this way forever.
Being depressed does not mean anything is wrong with you. You aren’t crazy, and you’re not alone.
If you try to talk to someone and they don’t understand what you’re going through, that just means they haven’t experienced it before.
It doesn’t mean you’re wrong to feel the way you do.
What sucks is when you try to talk to someone about it and they make you feel worse about it.
If this happens to you, please try to think that the person you’re talking to you just doesn’t get it. They aren’t the right person to talk to, and that’s okay.
There are people out there who understand. I understand. And I’ve been in that spot before where I felt like I had to change for others to accept me.
I kept telling myself I had to stop being so negative all the time and just snap out of it.
HA.
Yeah… you can’t just snap out of depression. People who are forcing you to snap out of depression will only make you more depressed.
Own up to how you’re feeling and tell yourself you deserve to feel better again. Don’t be ashamed of how you feel.
Embrace it and take care of yourself. Go easy on the days when you don’t feel your best.
You don’t have to feel ok all the time. Some days are just going to suck. But that doesn’t mean your whole life sucks.
I hope this list of ideas for how to keep living your life when you have depression helped you in some way… and if you’d like to talk to a professional about it then here are some resources for you:
I also offer a support group on Facebook, and every member gets a free mental wellness kit. Join here.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jan 5, 2020 | Entrepreneurship, Self-Improvement
Oh my goodness – it’s my first blog income report! In October of 2019, I finally monetized my blog. I still have a long way to go, but in just 2 months, I have made $2,007 which to me is awesome!
Today I am sharing my first blog income report to show you everything I have done so far, which has helped me make my first $2k with LovelyRefinement.com.
Before, this blog was not making any money, or ranking for any good keywords. I changed that, implementing the strategies in this blogging course. It covers exactly how to make a blog rank, convert subscribers, and make sales.
It is actually 6 courses rolled into a bundle, covering blogging, SEO, Pinterest marketing, email marketing, blog monetization, affiliate marketing, creating your own products, and more.
How I Made $2,000 Blogging – My First Blog Income Report
In October I began my test to see if I could monetize LovelyRefinement and turn a profit.
Here’s what I did to earn $2000 blogging in the mental wellness niche with a small niche lifestyle blog. Plus, what I am continuing to do to grow it.
My first blog income report!
Income:
- Ads & affiliate income – $1,693
- Amazon affiliate – $19
- Digital Products – $300
Expenses:
My blog expenses are pretty simple.
Here’s how I made my first $2,000 blogging in less than 3 months.
1. I launched My Own Course & Digital Products Store
This is really exciting for me. In October I launched the LovelyRefinement shop, created a course, and a couple of ebooks, and put them up for sale.
It has been bringing in sales already, and I got a product into the Ultimate Productivity Bundle which is incredible!
My course is a mental wellness program that helps women overcome anxiety and self-doubt, to step into their abilities with confidence. Learn more about it here!
2. I Monetized My Blog With Affiliate Marketing
In addition to offering my own products for sale, I am now also promoting affiliate products, where I earn a commission.
Affiliate marketing is something that I always just assumed was really difficult to do, but I was wrong. It’s not difficult!
If you aren’t making good money from your blog yet, I would recommend that you take a blogging course that teaches all sorts of different monetization strategies.
Be Your Own Blog Boss by HerPaperRoute is the 6-course bundle that covers everything.
It’s taught in a fun way that even a complete newbie can make sense of affiliate marketing.
You can get $50 off with code LOVELY50 for a limited time.
3. I Am Creating New Pins Daily
Adding fresh pins to Pinterest each day is something that is a bit tedious, but it REALLY helps to bring in new visitors to my blog.
And it’s completely free advertising, so worth the effort I think.
I am making new pins for old blog posts a few times a week right now, and I intend to make it a daily thing, now that the Holidays are over and I have more time.
Come and follow my progress over on Pinterest @LovelyRefinement
4. I Am Focusing On SEO
SEO (search engine optimization) is so important. I’ve been lucky that the Pinterest marketing strategies that I’ve learned are helping to bring in 50k monthly page views from Pinterest now.
I have over 1.7 million monthly page views on Pinterest now too. Tailwind is really great for boosting Pinterest traffic – fyi!
But I know that I shouldn’t depend on one source of traffic. I need to diversify my traffic and focus on Google Organic specifically.
And that means improving my on-page SEO of old articles. As well as working on off-page SEO to get more backlinks.
Many of my old blog posts had no focus keywords, no meta descriptions, and no real thought about using them to rank for search terms.
So, I am currently editing all of my old blog posts and:
- cleaning them up
- doing keyword research for each
- writing meta descriptions
- and improving them with good SEO practices in mind.
SEO is something that takes a while to see results from, but when done right, it will make a big difference in organic traffic.
5. I Am Focusing On Connecting With My Audience
Something that is really important to me is the relationship that I have with you, my reader.
I discuss a lot of sensitive topics here on the blog such as anxiety, depression, and mental wellness – and that brings people from all walks of life.
Some of my loyal readers struggle with depression and tell me that they come here to LovelyRefinement because the articles offer them a supportive and uplifting space when they are facing their darkest days.
It means a lot to me that my writing is being received this way, and that it can offer some support when you need it most.
So with this in mind, I have expanded my personalized resources. Including a private membership where members can get additional resources from me (all for free!) which also includes access to a private Facebook support group.
As well, I am sending a weekly motivational email to all members to further grow our relationship – which I love!
My First Blog Income Report – Conclusion
I feel like I have reached a big milestone in LovelyRefinement’s blogging journey, now that my first blog income report has happened!
As things progress, I will add more income reports in the future. Blogging really is the best, and it offers so many possibilities for making money.
Hopefully, you found this blog income report helpful, and you are inspired to start your own blog today.
If you want to start your own blog, enroll in HerPaperRoute’s free blogging course.
And when you are ready to monetize your blog, enroll in Be Your Own Blog Boss. Remember to use code LOVELY50 at checkout to save $50.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Dec 30, 2019 | Finding Motivation, Self-Improvement
If you have a string of bad events occurring in your life, it becomes difficult to work on fighting through them.
Especially when you’re losing your strength each time you get knocked on your ass.
The truth is that a lot of people who are going through difficult moments in their life don’t actively work on pushing through them.
They just find temporary coping mechanisms to help them through, even if they aren’t the healthiest. But there are positive things that can come from hard times.
How the Bad Times in Your Life Actually Make You Stronger
When life gets hard, it’s easier to just avoid what’s happening right in front of you. Ignoring it until it goes away.
You can build up your own internal strength by showing up during the roughest moments in your life.
Sometimes this feels scary and it will always be uncomfortable. And you may question why you decide to put yourself through the pain, instead of covering it up with something easier.
Trying to avoid pain in life just isn’t possible. Eventually, it will catch up with you, just like it does with everyone else.
Begin to Trust Yourself More
When things don’t go as planned you may look to your closest friends for a shoulder to cry on.
This can be a great way to let go of some of the frustration, but it isn’t helpful if you always rely on other people to pull you out.
When you start to become the victim of your life, you lose the strength to keep fighting.
At some point, you have to believe in yourself enough to trust that you can make it through this bad situation.
How do you do that? Well, it just starts with being alone with yourself more and seeing what you’re capable of.
Instead of calling up a friend every time, take a drive by yourself.
Go on a walk with your dog and listen to some music. Get some distance from everything building up in your head.
You can even try practicing meditation or yoga to calm your mood.
When you learn to trust yourself, you build confidence. And when you’re confident enough with who you are, you know you can make it through to the other side.
You may not feel like you’re good enough or worthy enough of being happy.
You have to work on breaking that thought process and putting up a fight for yourself when your life gets hard.
Friends and family are a great support system and important to have. But believing in yourself ensures you can survive anything on your own if needed.
Develop a Strong Support System
After you learn to trust yourself more, having a strong support system is essential to building enough strength during the most difficult times in your life.
We can’t always rely on other people to solve our problems so that’s why I encourage you to get more in tune with yourself, first.
Once you get more in tune with yourself and build up enough internal strength, you then learn when you do need to reach out for support. We can all use a helping hand during difficult times.
A strong support system consists of the best people you want to have in your corner. The ones who don’t judge what you’re going through.
They listen and sympathize with you. Sometimes they might give you a much-needed kick in the butt.
Other times they are the ones who you can laugh with when life just gets way too serious. This can be a large mix of people or just a small few.
If you find you are surrounded by a lot of negative people who just believe the world is out to get them (especially during difficult moments), then it’s probably time to try and find some new people to be around.
Find people who lift you up, and who you can lift up as well. The ones who put in as much effort as they receive are the ones you want on your side.
Build Up Your Mental Strength
Your brain is a muscle and it is possible to build its strength.
If you struggle with anxiety or depression, building up your mental strength can go a long way.
You learn how to become more resilient in the face of stress and overwhelm.
You also learn how to control your thoughts better, and what you allow to have an effect on your life.
Building up your mental strength takes consistent work. Just like working out any other muscle in your body.
You want to spend time on it daily to see improvement. And you might think it’s not possible at first.
Our brains are tricky in the way that you can’t physically see any improvement—it’s all in your head. So, you can convince yourself it doesn’t work before you even try.
Some of the best ways to build up your mental strength include:
These are just some examples of what mental strength looks like. You can learn how to do this by working on it daily.
The more you build up your mental strength, the more resilient you will become to life’s toughest moments.
There are so many people out there who have faced tremendous amounts of tragedy and grief and who suffer from anxiety. These people also have come out on the other side and are some of the strongest people you will ever meet.
Because they know what they can and can’t control. And they have worked hard at building up strength mentally to endure whatever life throws at them.
Stop Relying on Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
While I will admit that I do enjoy a large glass of wine after a crazy stressful week, I don’t rely on it every time something goes wrong.
When we start to rely on the things that help numb us to the pain, we lose our strength to keep fighting the battle.
There are many different kinds of unhealthy ways to cope with stress in life.
And I don’t have to tell you that they are just a temporary fix that will only make you feel worse later.
Stop trying to fix your problems with these things.
If you do something every once in a while, to just take a break and want to enjoy yourself, then do it.
It’s if you do need it daily or most days out of the week in order to push through.
You don’t actually need these things, it’s just your brain thinking you do.
Letting go of unhealthy coping mechanisms can quickly build up your strength.
Just letting go of the reliance alone will make you feel better about yourself. You’ll also start to believe that you are strong enough to make it through without those things.
Moving Forward
I understand that there are certain moments in life that are crazy hard to get through.
Losing someone close to you or something that played a huge part in your life is never easy.
If you really do feel like you’re struggling and aren’t sure where to look next, I highly suggest reaching out to a professional.
