by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 30, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Finding Motivation, Happiness Tips, Self-Improvement
Are you living an authentic life? Authenticity is to be true to one’s personality and character. It means you’re willing to show the world who you really are.
You’re willing to live the life that you were meant to live. Authenticity is the ability to show your uniqueness to the world.
There are very few authentic people in the world, but you know them when you see them.
We’re naturally drawn to authentic people. We feel comfortable with those who are willing to be themselves.
9 Proven Methods For Living An Authentic Life
Use these strategies to start living an authentic life and show the world the real you
1. Know your values
What’s important to you? Make a list of every quality you think is important for a person to have. Now, put that list in order.
What are your five top values? When you know your values, the authentic choice in any situation is more obvious than when you don’t know your values.
2. Stop doing things you don’t want to do
You still need to pay your bills and take out the trash. However, you don’t have to play on the church softball team, drive your neighbor to the airport, or take care of your cousin’s cat. If something is too disagreeable for you, just say, “No.”
3. Do what you want to do
You can spend your time how you please. You don’t need a grand excuse or proof that you’re doing something noble on a cosmic level.
The fact that you want to do it is a good enough reason. It’s important not to hurt anyone, including yourself, but feel free to play the harmonica, dance in your front yard, or wear white after Labor Day.
4. Keep an open mind
When your thinking is very rigid, you limit yourself and prevent your true self from shining through. Preconceived notions are prisons that block you from being authentic. Learn how to experience the world from a variety of perspectives and an open mind.
5. Trust your intuition
When you ignore your hunches, you feel out-of-sorts. Trust your instincts. They’ll let you know when you’re not being genuine.
6. Be self-aware
You can’t be authentic if you lack self-awareness. Notice how you feel. Ask yourself, “What do I need at this moment? How can I meet that need?” If you ignore your emotions, you can’t be self-aware.
7. Practice boldness
The biggest reason for a lack of authenticity is timidity. We want to say and do certain things, but we’re uncomfortable with standing out in any way.
We feel vulnerable and exposed. A little discomfort never killed anyone, and there’s so much to be gained by being bold. Give it a try.
8. Openly share your opinion
Tell others what you think or how you feel about something. Of course, you’ll want to be tactful so you remain considerate of the feelings of those around you. Are you hesitant to share your thoughts on a topic? Ask yourself why that is.
9. Avoid perfectionism
Trying to be perfect is a huge limitation on your natural personality and expression. Avoiding mistakes and imperfection at all costs is a recipe for inauthenticity.
Life is short! It doesn’t make a lot of sense to pretend to be someone else.
9 Proven Methods For Living An Authentic Life – Conclusion
I hope these tips for living an authentic life encourage you to put your best self out into the world.
Authenticity requires courage and dealing with discomfort. But if you want to live your life to the fullest, authenticity is required.
Show the world the unique person you are, and celebrate your newfound freedom.
More Life Improvement Tips
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 30, 2019 | Finding Motivation, Self-Improvement
Why strive to strengthen your inner drive? Momentum makes it easier to create change.
It’s much harder to find the first client than to find the 10th. If you have to lose 50 pounds, the second 10 are easier to lose than the first 10.
The other day I shared some tips for how you can strengthen your self-esteem. But let’s dig a bit deeper today.
It’s just hard to get started when you’re trying to change something in your life.
It’s easier to keep a boulder rolling than it is to get it started. So use these tips to help you start.
How To Strengthen Your Inner Drive
Try these ideas to strengthen your inner drive.
1. Do something worthwhile as early in the day as possible
Whatever your big goal in life happens to be, do something about it first thing each day.
It’s a great way to show yourself that you’re serious about being successful. It’s also a way to build a lot of momentum that can carry you through the day.
For example, if you need to drop a few pounds, get out of the door ASAP in the morning and go for a quick walk. If you want to write a novel, write one page before you even take a shower.
Take an online class at SkillShare, CreativeLive or HerPaperRoute. Or, learn a new language. Anything that gets your brain buzzing before you have your morning coffee.
2. A small accomplishment early in the day can motivate you to do even more, later in the day
A bad morning usually drains your motivation, so ensure you have a great morning.
3. Make your bed each day
It might seem like a trivial act, but it can make a big difference. You’ve barely woken up and you’ve already accomplished something.
You’ll also appreciate it when you go to bed. Try it for a week and notice how much better you feel about yourself.
4. Find a mentor that’s doing better than you are
Even the most successful people can use a good mentor. If you need to lose weight, find someone that’s lost 100+ lbs.
If you want to make 6-figures, find a mentor that’s making seven. A good mentor will push you to be more than you’re currently demonstrating. Here’s how to get a mentor for free.
5. Be consistent
It’s impossible to gain momentum without consistency. Each time you stop, it’s necessary to get started again. That’s the opposite of momentum. Get started and keep going. Consistent action is the key.
4. Perform a 30-day challenge
Pick a habit you’d like to create and force yourself to do it each day for the next month. This is a great way to build momentum.
When the 30 days are up, you should be able to continue. You’ve already been doing it for a month after all. What’s another month or decade? Easy.
Try our 30 Day Mental Wellness Challenge, it’s free!
5. Have a vision
A compelling vision for the future can be the motivation needed to get started and to continue until you experience success. Think about what you want to accomplish.
Who do you want to become? What type of life do you want to live? Create an attractive vision of a future that fills you with excitement.
Few people have a long-term plan for their life. Even fewer have a plan that excites them. Be one of the few.
6. Be action-oriented
Most of us do too much planning and spend too much time gathering more information.
The people that accomplish the most are those that take action quickly, consistently, and aggressively. Focus on the actions you can take and actually take them. Momentum is the result.
With momentum, it’s easy to believe that you can accomplish anything.
7. Without it, everything feels impossible
There’s no substitute for work ethic and perseverance, but there are plenty of things that can be done to create momentum.
If you’re feeling stuck, work on creating momentum and then fight to keep it going.
For More Tips On How To Strengthen Your Inner Drive
To view my wellness course Refine Your Life Purpose + Wellness and all other lessons, click here.
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by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Finding Motivation, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Are you stuck, unsure of how to reach your full potential? Are you limiting yourself by ignoring the full potential you’re capable of reaching? At first, it feels like too much effort to go out of your comfort zone and see how far you can go.
That effort is what keeps a lot of people from even trying in the first place. However, it’s interesting to see what you can accomplish if you try.
Today I want to share with you some strategies you can use to reach your full potential and discover yourself.
7 Strategies That Will Help You Reach Your Full Potential
When you think back on your past, and into your future, what have your goals looked like? Have you often achieved the goals you’ve set for yourself, or do you let them slide to the wayside?
These are just a few questions to ask yourself as you work on reaching your full potential. A lot of what holds us back is our own thoughts.
As soon as you learn to reprogram your thoughts, you will quickly start to see doors open and your life becomes more fruitful.
1. Start with baby steps
As you create big goals for your future, break them down into tiny baby steps. You’ll get easily overwhelmed by all of the to-do’s, causing you to feel frozen in place.
Categorize the steps into groups and break it all down, then choose one thing to focus on for this week. If you want to start working out more, set aside just 5 minutes a day to focus on that.
Related: How to Get Motivated When You Struggle With Anxiety & Depression
2. Your progress ebbs and flows
To give you an idea of what progress and success looks like:
Just like with this blog that you’re reading, progress is a bumpy road. It took me a long time to figure out how to blog and how to get people to see it.
There were SO many times I just wanted to give up on it, but the picture from above is what’s kept me motivated to continue on this journey.
Once you can accept how progress really goes, you will have more patience with the process. It just comes with persistence and time.
The longer you stick with it, the more progress you will make. You will also learn a lot of lessons along the way that will build your resilience!
3. Narrow down to one thing at a time
Limit yourself to just a few activities if you want to reach a high level of mastery. Mastering anything takes time.
Patience is key to long-term development
For example, if you want to be more physically active then focus on just one thing. Maybe that’s replacing soda with water, or running 10 minutes a day.
Start small so the new changes don’t feel overwhelming. Focus on one thing, then move on to the next.
I am the type of person who loves to dabble in different things, so I don’t want to limit you to just one thing. But, it is helpful to focus your attention on one thing at a time so you get really good at it. Then you can move on to the next thing.
4. Imagine the new you
Another way to think of this is when you wake up in the morning, imagine being the person you want to be.
If you want to be healthier, ask what would a healthy person do. Then DO those things. If a healthy person would eat an apple instead of chips, do that.
Be the person you want to be by practicing this exercise.
5. Be persistent
In order to make lasting changes, you have to push yourself. Keep doing the grind and keep reminding yourself of your why.
Why do you need this, why do you want it? Keep that at the top of your mind until it becomes ingrained into you.
Consistency and persistence are key, as well as a tremendous amount of patience.
6. Always be learning
Connect with like-minded people around you who remind you of why you want this in the first place. Then learn from them.
Take online courses or even find a coach who can help guide you to where you want to be.
We can’t always do things alone and you’ll need plenty of support to nudge you in the direction you want to go.
7. Break free from fear
Fear can hold you back from doing anything, and from living an amazing life. Instead, you want to have fear be a part of your life, but not let it control you.
Allow fear to keep you on your toes and lean into it. Once you see that fear is just what you make up in your head to be scary, you will slowly become less fearful.
7 Strategies That Will Help You Reach Your Full Potential – Conclusion
And when you continue to step out of your comfort zone and embrace change, you will become stronger. Your grit will build and you’ll be resilient with anything life throws at you.
Be sure to enroll in my awesome online course ‘Refine Your Life Purpose + Wellness‘ to learn more about ways you can reach your full potential, discover your purpose, and create a life you love.
So now, go ahead and work to reach your full potential!
More life improvement tips to help you reach your full potential
Download our free mental wellness kit HERE
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Finding Motivation, Self-Improvement
When you come to a point of feeling lost in life, it gets pretty discouraging.
As soon as you start to evaluate your life and notice things aren’t exactly how you wanted them to be, it makes you question where you’re going in life.
Whether it’s from a lack of achievements, being stuck in a dead-end job, or comparing yourself to everyone on Facebook who seems to have their lives together.
There are so many ways we begin to wonder if we’re doing enough.
When you feel discouraged and lost in life, you can also fall into a rut where you feel stuck and confused.
Because to get out of this feeling means you have to make a change. And change is pretty terrifying. Finding a new career path requires going back to school and spending money on more classes.
Breaking off a toxic relationship means dealing with being single and having to date again. Taking time off to travel and figure your life out requires money which you may or may not have.
These are just excuses we make up in our heads about why we shouldn’t make a change. Even though right now is uncomfortable, it’s better than completely starting over, right?
The truth is the only way to break out of this feeling of feeling lost in life is to have the courage to make a change that puts you on the path you want to be on.
It might be uncomfortable at first, and you might want to avoid change, but once you start going after the things you want your future will become clearer.
6 Things To Do When You Feel Lost in Life
Try these activities to find yourself and create a future that inspires you again.
1. Make a list of things you’d like to SEE in your lifetime.
One of the reasons you feel lost is that you don’t have anything to look forward to. You can change that quickly by making a list of all the things you’d like to see in your lifetime. Here are a few ideas to stimulate your thinking.
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- The Great Wall of China
- An opera in Italy
- The Grand Canyon
- The birth of a litter of puppies
- Old Faithful
- Mars through a high-quality telescope
- A Rolling Stones concert
Make your own list and don’t be bashful. Now pick one thing you can do in the next six months. If your list is too extravagant, and six months is an impossible timeline, think harder and add more items to your list.
2. Make a list of things you’d like to DO in your lifetime.
When you’re writing down all of the things you want to do in your life, let go of any limits you feel. Think as though anything is possible.
Let your mind wander for a little bit and listen to what your heart truly wants. Chances are you’ve ignored what you really want for a while now.
You may have overlooked a desire or dream because of it’s price tag, or for some other self-limiting beliefs. But if you want something and are willing to work to make it happen, the money always has a way of reaching you. If you’ve ever told yourself “This would never be possible”, write down that thing. And start striving to make that thing possible.
It’s time to start changing the way you think about these things, so you can fill your life up with more of the things you love.
3. Revisit your old goals.
You had a lot of plans when you were a kid. Like becoming a cowboy or an astronaut or raising llamas. Your plans became more realistic as you age, but you still had plans that interested you.
Perhaps you can rekindle some of that enthusiasm by revisiting those plans from the past.
Think about why you abandoned those plans. Maybe the reasons you changed your mind are no longer valid. Maybe they were never valid in the first place.
If they weren’t valid, think about setting new goals for yourself.
4. Realize that your feelings aren’t unusual.
Your current mental state is quite common. How many people make the right choices consistently?
Nearly every adult wishes they could go back and choose a different career. This includes doctors, lawyers, and successful business owners.
Mistakes pile up over the years, and in your mind, the grass is always greener somewhere else. This is all a part of the human experience. The next part of your experience is working through it.
5. Remember you have a lot of control over your situation.
It’s easy to feel hopeless, but you have a lot of choices available to you. It’s a matter of being brave enough to choose the best one and run with it.
Even if you can’t see any options for you at this very moment, that is entirely in your head. There are thousands of different career paths to choose from.
And there’s other fish in the sea. You have the power to change your life, to start working out, eating healthier, loving harder, and being happier.
Although you may have heard some of these things over 10 times, it’s all about how you choose to react to it. You could swear off dating for the rest of your life and give up on relationships. You could also choose to stay at a job you hate.
These are all your own choices. You are creating your life, and just as you chose your current situation, you have the power to choose a new life for yourself.
6. Challenge your limiting beliefs.
There are plenty of things you want to do, you just don’t think you can do them.
You might believe that you’re too old, need more education, lack the necessary finances, and the list goes on. Look at your limiting beliefs and work through them.
Why You Feel Lost in Life & What to Do About It – Conclusion
Feeling lost is synonymous with lacking direction. Finding a new direction for your life is the key to stop feeling lost.
Find a few things you’d like to do and see this year. Plan a future that you find interesting and exciting. Once your mood is lifted, you’ll see the world with new eyes and be able to find new opportunities that excite you.
Remember, there is affordable online counseling available to you at all times, whenever you need to talk to someone.
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by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 17, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Finding Motivation, Happiness Tips, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Lately, I’ve been wondering how to live a more meaningful life. Wondering how I can have more control over my life. It’s something that happens as you get older.
You learn to let go of all these things you don’t want anymore. Things you maybe thought you wanted but eventually grow out of. That’s where claiming your true power comes into play.
Claiming your power is about your character and accomplishments. It’s the result of who you are and what you do. When you learn how to unlock your personal power, you can achieve your goals and lead a more meaningful life.
14 Ways to Step Into Your True Power & Live a More Meaningful Life
By harnessing that power, you will also speak up more about what you do and don’t want. You won’t feel so trapped by a life that you really don’t want.
In some ways, building up your inner power is like building up your outer body. It takes effort and practice.
Start with these exercises for cultivating inner strengths and taking positive actions.
1. Clarify your values.
Understand who you are and what’s important to you. You do this by getting to know yourself more. Don’t be afraid to do things alone and to step out of your comfort zone.
It’s too easy to have your values blocked by what you think you’re supposed to be. Instead of who you want to be.
Every day society is telling us what we should value and what we shouldn’t, but the only way to claim your true power is by ignoring all of these mixed messages.
Focus on what you value deep in your heart and what matters most to you. When you get clearer on this, your inner power will grow.
2. Practice Optimism.
The world tears us down from the moment we wake up until the moment we fall asleep. As the day wears on, your boss may criticize you or you get stuck in traffic.
It’s easy to allow these annoyances to change your view of the world. Making you more negative towards things that shouldn’t have that much power over you.
Focus instead on what is going right in your world. Sure, you have bad days because we all do. You’re not alone in this and I’m not going to try and tell you to just pretend to be positive all the time.
But there is beauty in the way that some people turn lemons into lemonade, right? Even when shit is hitting the fan these people can throw a smile on and shake it off.
Imagine what those people would do in your shoes. Laugh off the things that won’t matter tomorrow and turn your attention towards the things you love and value in your life.
Related: How to Cleanse Your Mind of Negative Thoughts
3. Build your self-esteem.
Question your self-limiting beliefs. Have the courage to take worthwhile risks and give yourself credit for trying.
Building up your self-esteem is one of the best things you can do. When you believe in yourself, you build resilience towards anything in life.
This takes practice just like thinking more optimistically does. Most people aren’t born naturally confident, they are instead surrounded by things that build their confidence.
This means supportive people and allowing yourself room to make mistakes and take risks, without feeling like a total failure in the process.
4. Manage your emotions.
Recognize your feelings without letting them distract you from making healthy choices. Stop trying to bury emotions deep inside, pretending they don’t exist. This only makes things worse.
You won’t learn how to deal with bad things if you never express your emotions. And the only way to gain control over fear, anxiety, or depression is by shining a light on them.
Whenever you feel sad, angry, hurt, or confused, don’t be afraid to sit with yourself and dissect why you feel that way. Validate your feelings so you can manage them.
5. Let go of baggage.
Free yourself from grudges and resentments.
Forgive yourself and others for any past disappointments.
6. Persevere through obstacles.
Patiently accept reversals and delays as the price of success. Remember your purpose and renew your commitment when the going gets tough.
7. Be authentic.
Stay true to yourself. Be prepared to align your actions with your values even when it’s uncomfortable. Evaluate your progress according to your own standards instead of comparing yourself to others.
Authenticity gives you real strength.
8. Meditate and pray.
You don’t have to be religious to be spiritual. Faith and mindfulness can make you stronger and more resilient. Set aside time each day to give thanks and connect with your spiritual side.
Practice your faith by seizing opportunities to be kind and generous.
9. Engage in self-care.
Your physical condition affects your personal power. Keep your body in peak condition with a balanced diet rich in whole foods like fresh vegetables and fruits. Exercise regularly and stick to a consistent sleep schedule.
10. Continue learning.
Adding to your knowledge and abilities also makes you more powerful. Sign up for educational seminars at work or study a foreign language at your local community college.
Take courses online and read classic novels in your free time.
11. Communicate skillfully.
You can make yourself more likable and influential. Ask friends and colleagues you trust for honest feedback about areas where you need to grow.
- Brush up on your attentive listening or public speaking skills. Monitor your body language and proofread your emails.
12. Network vigorously.
A robust network gives you more opportunities to leverage your strengths by collaborating with others. Help others by sharing your time, expertise, and other resources. Stay in touch with your old contacts, and attend events where you can widen your circle.
13. Aim for balance.
It’s tempting to limit ourselves to the areas where we feel safe and appreciated. Ensure you’re giving adequate attention to both your professional and family life.
14. Maximize your productivity.
Time and other resources are limited. Organizing your routines can help you to do more with less.
Mental and spiritual strength allows you to take charge of your life and your future. Claim your true power so you can realize your potential and have a positive impact on the world around you.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 3, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Finding Motivation, Happiness Tips, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
5 Simple Ways to Stay Present in Everyday Life. It can be a real struggle to remain present in the moments of everyday life.
We have so much going on at any given moment that it’s difficult to slow it all down and just be ok with what’s happening right in front of you.
But from what I’ve experienced, it’s worth it every time I decide to take a step back and pay attention to what I have at the moment.
It’s the only thing I can control, and learning how to be more present has helped me feel less anxious plus I have so much more patience for even the tiniest things.
What Does it Mean to “Be Present in the Moment?”
Do you find that you get impatient waiting in line at the self-checkout lane at 5 p.m. on a Tuesday night?
Or what about driving in traffic eager to get home so you can throw off your work clothes and open up a fresh bottle of wine?
You may always be rushing to get to the next best place in your life, but the magic of the present moment is sitting here with you right now.
In fact, there’s an entire movement or awakening in which individuals have discovered that a secret to enjoying life is to “stay present.”
These are people just like you who experience racing thoughts or get stuck in painful memories of the past.
Anxiousness about the future also spoils the now moments. When you feel anxious, focus on living in the present moment
Living in the present moment is “the secret” that ties all the other secrets of life together, and it is a process referred to as “mindfulness.”
Because there’s no way to deny that there’s an element of magic in staying present.
To be present, you must lasso all of your attention and pull it directly into what is happening in your life in each current moment as it comes.
5 Simple Ways to Stay Present in Everyday Life
How do you achieve mindfulness? There are many ways to enter into this psychological process, and the benefits are undeniable.
The following are five simple ways to stay present in the moments of your everyday life.
1. Focus on the Now
We have these amazing brains that store memories and have the capability of imagining the future.
Unfortunately, all these brain functions often get away from us and pull us in the wrong direction. Life is only actually lived right now, in the moment we currently have. Which you can do easily by practicing mindfulness.
Be very intentional about focusing on what you are doing at each moment.
Download my free mindfulness activities that will help you to focus more on the now and instantly feel calmer:
2. Use a Breathing Exercise
In the mindfulness movement, breathing has been identified as a key to being present in the moment.
Take in a breath and then consciously breathe out the stress you’ve been feeling. Spend several moments simply breathing in and breathing out the stress that would rob you of this moment.
The power of a breathing exercise is that you focus on your own intake and exhale of air, which can stop other thoughts from invading your consciousness.
Just start over with renewed focus if other thoughts interrupt your breathing exercise.
3. Take a Single-Task Approach
In this age of the Internet, we become easily distracted. The constant input from forces around the globe on our handheld devices sends us into a spiral of thoughts that rob us of the current moments.
Focus on completing a single task at a time. Don’t get diverted from your task by technology, or any other distracting thoughts.
4. Add a New Dimension to Common Tasks
Mundane tasks can be gateways to negative lines of thought. Turn everyday tasks upside down. Think through each everyday activity so that you maintain and sharpen your focus.
Do each set of tasks in reverse order, from the approach to brushing your teeth and putting on your clothing to the way you bath or shower and dry off. When you become overwhelmed by your to-do list, work on taking things one step at a time.
6. Control Your Thoughts
The idea of controlling your thoughts may be new. Many people’s lives are held captive by the flow of thoughts that never end.
So, it can be a surprise to find out that just as you can control your next breath, you can control your next thought. Thoughts are very powerful and have a direct effect on how you feel at any given moment.
A happy thought can lift your mood and bring a smile to your face. A sad thought can cause your emotions to plummet into feelings of depression.
Isn’t it good to know that your thoughts are in your control?
The following are some tips to help you master controlling your thoughts:
- It may help to think of thoughts as things—almost like tangible objects.
- Learn how to stop your thoughts, whether those thoughts are positive, negative, ridiculous, or dull. Doing this can be as simple as saying, “I’m stopping those thoughts and choosing to pick a different thought intentionally.” Make the thought a good one!
- Make it a practice to identify negative thoughts or when you are dreading something.
- Write out your negative thought processes or your dread. This removes them from being a movie in your head. The power of those thoughts decreases as you write them down. When you do this, you are disassociating yourself from the event that was playing in your mind.
- Identify the lie in the negative thoughts and find a positive truth that you can offset the lies with.
Related: How to Cleanse Your Mind of Negative Thoughts
5 Simple Ways to Stay Present in Everyday Life
Start noticing the direction of your thoughts and divert them elsewhere if they are negative.
These five simple ways to stay present in the moment are just the first step. If you want a happier life, you can begin to incorporate powerful thoughts such as gratefulness. It’s possible to enjoy everyday life.
It all starts with what you do with your next moment.
