by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jun 9, 2018 | Gift Guides, Self-Esteem & Self-Love
There are a number of things that help with reducing your overall stress.
But, during high stressful moments it’s difficult to remember how to stay calm without the right tools.
It’s all too easy to reach for something that isn’t healthy, just because its convenient. And it relieves the issue for a little while.
That’s why creating a stress relief kit is something I really believe we all should have on hand! Stress is as much a part of our lives as our jobs, children, or pets.
How to Create the Ultimate Stress Relief Kit
We know how to manage these other things (at least, somewhat), so being prepared for when stress hits allows you to face it without falling back on unhealthy coping habits.
How Does a Stress Relief Kit Help?
A stress kit helps set you up for success.
Think about when you’re really hungry and you’re heading home from work and pass by a fast food restaurant.
Temptation is all too strong, especially if you know there isn’t any food at home.
Our lives are crazy busy, so we often lean towards what’s easy and convenient.
If you had already prepped your meals for the week and knew exactly what you were having for dinner, the temptation to go off plan wouldn’t be as strong.
You’d be much more likely to stick to your healthy diet, and the same thing goes for a stress relief kit.
When you have a reliable source that you know will keep your stress levels in check, you’ll be far better equipped to handle it properly.
A stress relief kit is a great resource that can improve your stress management skills and give you the confidence you need to push through tough moments in your life.
How Do You Create a Stress Relief Kit?
Below I listed some of the best items to keep in your stress relief kit and why they’re important.
If you have a healthy go-to that helps with stress, then definitely add it to your own kit!
I wouldn’t recommend adding too much of an unhealthy coping strategy (like alcohol, comfort food, cigarettes, etc.) just because these things are more of a crutch.
However, if you find drinking a glass of wine and eating a piece of chocolate helps you unwind and relax, then it’s okay to add them in occasionally.
It’s all about finding balance and taking care of yourself.
That sometimes means taking a time out and having some chocolate!
Especially if it’s not usually a part of your daily routine.
Here are some items I think would be great to add to your own stress kit.
1. Essential Oils
Essential oils come from nature, like trees, flowers, or leaves. They have a lot of benefits, and some can help relieve stress.
ArtNaturals Aromatherapy Essential Oils.
Some of the best essential oils for stress relief are:
- Lavender
- Cinnamon
- Grapefruit
- Eucalyptus
- Sandalwood
- Jasmine
I love using essential oils to help calm me down and bring me back to earth when I’m stressed.
My absolute favorites are eucalyptus and lavender.
I typically drop a little in a warm bath or dot my wrists with a little eucalyptus when I’m going out and about.
2. Small plates and a hammer
Ok, I know this sounds odd. But, there have been many times in my life when I wanted to just break something.
Stress builds up and makes us literally feel like we’ll explode. I’ve found that either using a punching bag or taking a hammer to some old plates can improve my mood.
If you find breaking plates to be too weird (or messy), then a classic stress ball can help relieve tension, too.
3. Tea
Tea, in general, can help you relax and is very beneficial if you’re feeling under the weather. It’s always good to have a box on hand, just in case!
4. Bath salts
When you’re stressed, your body suffers. Your tense neck and shoulder muscles need a break!
Bath salts are a great addition to the stress relief kit. Taking a nice hot bath is an awesome way to wind down, and the bath salts will help relax the rest of your body.
5. Dark Chocolate
Yep, even chocolate is a good addition to your stress relief kit!
Dark chocolate, more specifically. It’s proven to reduce stress, improve your heart and brain health, and fight disease.
Chocolate can do all that?? Yep! Consuming dark chocolate once a day for 2 weeks will lower the cortisol (or “stress) hormone and your fight or flight response.
I definitely think it’s a necessity to have in your kit J A word of caution… don’t go overboard. A 1.4-ounce bar is the recommended daily amount.
6. Face Mask
Stress can cause a number of health issues, including breakouts and skin issues. The right face mask is a win-win for both.
The next time you take a bath with your bath salts and essential oils, throw on a face mask and you will feel all of the stress disappear from your body.
I love Brooklyn Botany’s Brown Sugar Face Scrub. It’s vegan!
Face masks that are all natural are usually the best bet. You could even make one at home if you want!
7. Journal
Writing in a journal is my favorite thing to do when I’m stressed or anxious.
It helps relieve stress by getting all your thoughts, ideas, and to-do lists out of your head and into the real world.
Write It Down, Let It Go is one of my favorite journals. No one besides you has to see it but getting your thoughts out is very therapeutic.
Visually seeing your problems will help you start learning how to solve them.
If you have a lot of stuff to get done, using a journal is a great way to reduce procrastination and increase productivity.
8. Books
This can either be your favorite books or new self-improvement books you’ve been meaning to read.
Reading has always helped me feel more confident in dealing with my own life. Whether it’s a fiction or non-fiction book, I enjoy the change of perspective.
I also love coloring books, and who doesn’t want to feel like a kid again—with an adult twist?
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jun 7, 2018 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Do you find it hard to put yourself first? Are you even aware that you probably don’t put yourself first?
This is a common problem for a lot of people. During the day, we are at the mercy of others. At work, we have to listen to what our bosses and co-workers tell us to do.
At home, we have to take care of our pets, children and SO’s. As an adult, there is a constant obligation you feel. To cater to everything else, and put your needs last.
But to be truly happy, you need to put yourself first. Especially when it comes to being able to take care of other people, pets, and responsibilities.
Why You Need To Put Yourself First and How to Do It
I applaud you because putting everyone and everything before yourself makes you a stand-up person. Putting others before yourself is a huge act of kindness. It’s hard to say it’s a bad thing because other people benefit greatly from what you do.
But, putting other people before yourself brings up a lot of issues. You’ve heard the saying you can’t pour from an empty cup, right? It’s true.
If your cup is empty or your batteries are dead, it becomes impossible to cater to others. But, you might have been taught that putting your needs first is selfish.
It’s what we’re taught growing up because acting selfless is viewed as good in our society.
And it is, don’t get me wrong. But, there’s a line that has to be drawn. If not, giving all you have away will end with you feeling miserable. Not to mention overwhelmed, stressed, and resentful of others.
If you don’t take time for yourself, you can’t be there for someone else in the way you want
You’ll also have less patience and tolerance for people who need your help. Letting your cup run dry will cause issues in your life. As you’re trying to please everyone else and take care of other people, eventually it will backfire.
You can only take on so much at a time before becoming so burnt out that you stop caring about all of it. It will affect your health because of the chronic stress it causes. And it has the potential to ruin relationships.
You might think putting yourself first is selfish and will cause these issues anyway. In reality, you’ll be a much better person to be around.
Once your cup is full, you’ll be more than willing to give more to other people.
How to Start Putting Yourself First
1. Set Your Limits
Everything is okay in moderation. To set your limits, you’ll have to figure out what your limits are. This might take some practice. It’s OK if you don’t get it exactly right all the time. But, setting your limits is so important.
If your boss keeps asking you to work overtime or your sister is crashing on your couch every night, you’ll need to set up some limits.
You can start doing this by taking a few minutes out of the day and reflecting on the balance in your life. Do you have enough of your own downtime every day? What brings you happiness?
Think about the things that start to get uncomfortable if they continue to happen. This is a great way to start putting yourself first. Saying no and setting boundaries is NOT a bad thing.
It’s 100% necessary. You’ll have to believe it’s necessary for your own health before you can start practicing it.
Get rid of those thoughts that saying no means you’re a bad person. If you don’t set limits, people will not know when to stop. It’s not their fault, it’s just that most people don’t know when they cross a boundary.
Boundaries are different for everybody, so it’s important to determine what your own are and make them clear to the people you care about.
In order to stay at your job and do good work, you need a good work-life balance. Let your boss know this, that way they can understand what you need to succeed and to stay at the job.
For some people, setting boundaries is too difficult so they end up quitting or getting out of relationships to avoid it.
This is not the best option, because you’ll always come across a situation where someone tests your limits. Instead of avoiding it, work on fixing it. And if you find that you try setting boundaries with certain people and they still continue to cross them, then that’s when you can decide to remove that from your life.
People who don’t respect boundaries are difficult, and you’ll need to determine if they are worth having around or not.
2. Learn How to Listen to Yourself
If you haven’t put yourself first in a while, you might have forgotten how to listen to your own wants and needs. Knowing what you want is essential because you’ll also know what you don’t.
This is how you build up self-confidence, by listening to yourself. If your friends all want to go out to a club on Friday night, but you really just want to stay in and watch a movie, listen to that!
Instead of going just to avoid upsetting anyone, listen to what you truly want. This is also part of setting limits. But, before you can set limits you have to know what you truly want.
You’ll have to get rid of everyone else’s thoughts and opinions about your life and practice listening to what it is you want. At the end of the day, it’s about what brings you happiness.
It’s not really about what anyone else wants, because the people who care about your happiness will be more than willing to give you what you need.
Our own voices can disappear once we start putting everyone else first before ourselves.
This is the time to start practicing listening to your heart and going after that. You deserve it!
3. Remember, You Aren’t Responsible for Other People
If you struggle to put yourself first, you most likely have your life way more together than others around you. People who need you to take care of them don’t have the right tools to do it themselves.
You might feel like you can give more because you can handle more. And that means giving some people way more than they deserve.
Everyone needs to hold themselves accountable for their own lives. You can’t be responsible for everyone. With the exception of animals and babies, other adults can take care of themselves.
And if they can’t, they shouldn’t be relying on you to fix their struggles.
You can do your best to be there for them when they need it, but you’ll also need to take time for yourself. Put up that boundary so they know they can’t run you completely dry.
This isn’t a selfish act. It’s actually really healthy for both of you. It teaches other people that if they draw the line, you can’t be there for them anymore. And that’s on them, not on you. And you won’t get to the point of resenting them or blowing up on them for taking so much.
4. Practice Self-Care
Do what it is you need to do. Do you enjoy reading? Taking hot baths? Talking to your closest friends? Drinking wine and binge-watching Netflix?
Do these things and do them often. Practice taking care of yourself every single day. Even if it’s just 15 minutes before you go to bed.
Self-care keeps you in tune with yourself. This helps you set your limits, listen to yourself more, and know when things are off-balance in your life.
Self-care is like watering a flower, and the more you do it the more you’ll grow as a person. You’ll flourish even!
5. Stop Feeling So Guilty
Guilt makes us feel awful and brings us to do things we wouldn’t otherwise do.
We feel guilt out of fear of people disliking us, feeling like we’re doing something wrong, or feeling like we’re being too selfish.
Guilt is what will keep your cup from filling up if you allow it to control your life. Instead, let go of it! I know how tough guilt can be. Even when you decide to make a decision for yourself, you might be flooded with guilt and decide to go back on your decision.
This is when you just have to lean into it. Deal with feeling uncomfortable and stand by your decision to put yourself first. Guilt is a test, and you have to push through it.
Once you become more comfortable with doing things for yourself, instead of always doing things for others, the guilt will go away. I promise!
The only reason you feel guilty in the first place is either because someone is trying to take advantage of you and make you feel bad, or you’ve been taught from a young age to not put yourself first. You have to counteract those feelings of guilt and understand how much good will come out of putting yourself first.
You can maybe even make a pros and cons list of what will happen if you decide to do something you really don’t want, just to please someone else. And see the pros of listening to yourself and doing what you want.
