by The Lovely Refinement Team | Oct 13, 2019 | Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Are you struggling, wondering how to deal with anxiety at work? Whether your anxiety occurs because of personal problems, or because of work, experiencing it while you’re on the job makes everything much more challenging.
Anxiety makes it difficult to focus on a specific task. This can make getting to your work assignments almost impossible, and take you forever to get things done.
If left untreated, your anxiety has the ability to make your job impossible. Which can result in issues, like getting fired or your boss not knowing if you’re capable enough to do your job.
But, anxiety is a very real thing. And if you don’t have the right resources to work through it yourself, that doesn’t mean all hope is lost.
How To Deal With Anxiety At Work
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Having anxiety doesn’t mean you’ve stopped caring about your job.
It just means there are other factors that are making it that much harder to think work is important right now.
How To Deal With Anxiety – Before Work
1. Set up a morning routine
Waking up, chugging coffee and heading straight into work is a great recipe for anxiety.
Without giving yourself time to slowly wake up and get ready for the day, you’ll feel on edge the whole day. Some people thrive by getting up and going, and not thinking about anything.
But, anxiety can easily creep in if you don’t practice being more in-tune with yourself and the world around you.
Here are some ways to set up an anxiety-free morning routine:
- Wake up 30 minutes before you have to start getting ready
- Avoid looking at your phone/responding to any emails
- Take a second to be grateful for waking up to a new day
- Read a chapter of a new book
- Consider drinking a small cup of coffee while you’re still in bed
- Plan out how your day is going to go, so you know what you expect
2. Avoid watching the news
I get that it’s helpful to stay up-to-date on what’s going on in the world.
I used to watch the news every morning before I went to work. But, I started to realize that it made me a lot more fearful of my surroundings.
The bad news I kept seeing just started to make me think there wasn’t much good in the world. If you have high anxiety, try to stop watching the news or reading it on your phone.
It doesn’t mean you’re avoiding what’s happening out in the real world, it just means you need to stop triggering anxiety by bringing in more worries to your life.
If you think about it, the news stations are trying to find the craziest stories out there. That’s how they get your attention and keep you watching. And that’s why usually what’s shown on the news is bad stuff.
Chances are, you’ll hear about the important stuff from co-workers or friends. You don’t need to know about everything else.
3. Meditate in the car
Commuting in traffic can contribute to your anxiety.
A great way to stay calm is by listening to a mindfulness app on your phone while you’re driving in the car. This helps you focus on your breathing and stay in the present moment.
That way once you get to work, you won’t already feel so tense and possibly irritated.
Another helpful tip is to always leave a little extra early heading into work, so you can stay in the slow lane. Driving in the fast lane can make you feel like you have to just get to the destination.
When instead, you can take your time and not feel so rushed.
How To Deal With Anxiety – During work
1. Set small goals
Once you get into work and figure out what has to get done that day, start by planning it out.
Part of what causes a lot of work anxiety is feeling like you’re constantly behind. And you have to hustle to get as much done as you can.
But, that’s how anxiety can form and it’s how it can prevent you from getting anything done. Feeling overwhelmed can make it difficult to know where to start.
Instead, look at your to-do list and focus on getting 3 or 4 things done that day.
Set mini-goals, so that once you accomplish one thing you actually feel like you’re being productive and achieving success.
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2. Take it easy on high-anxiety days
Sometimes, you’ll have days where no matter what you do you’re anxiety will take over anyways.
On those days, you have to take it easy on yourself. When anxiety comes in, it’s similar to getting a cold.
It physically and mentally won’t allow you to be 100% there. And if you think about having a cold, you would most likely do the best you can but then rest often and take it easy.
Don’t expect to get much done on high-anxiety days. Where we often go wrong when we’re feeling anxious is when we feel like we have to keep working harder. But, listen to your body and just take a break.
3. Practice being mindful
Work on grounding techniques and pay attention to what’s going on in the moment. Our anxious thoughts can make it feel like everything is wrong. But, when you practice being mindful you can reduce the negative thoughts.
And you can work on dissolving your anxious thoughts, when you take a few minutes to think them through and challenge them.
Download my Mindfulness Activities book for free.
4. Eat a healthy lunch
Eating a healthy lunch is always good idea, even on the days when you’re anxiety is low.
If you work in a busy office, it’s probably pretty normal to just order some fast food and go back and sit at your desk.
But, taking control of your anxiety requires taking care of yourself.
That means actually taking a lunch break, and packing your lunch from home. With a filling salad or a healthy sandwich.
Eating healthy will keep your anxiety levels even, and won’t make you crash a few hours later. Practice making it a point to take some time for yourself throughout the day, so that you can stay in tune with your body.
5. Take frequent breaks
When you struggle with anxiety, it’s just not possible to keep trying to hurdle passed it. If you try to fight it or ignore that you have it, it will eventually build and build.
Until you aren’t sure how to manage any of it. Most jobs think it’s more acceptable to just work, work, work until it’s time to eventually go home.
The norm is 50 hour work weeks, but working 40 hours is way more than plenty. We think we have to be tied to our jobs to feel any sort of value or success in our own lives.
That’s why taking breaks during work feels weird. Especially when everyone around you never takes any. But, go against what everyone else is doing and make it a point to start taking care of your mental health.
That means taking the designated 15-minute breaks you’re allowed for every 8 hours. Also, taking your lunch break. These can be times where you can practice being mindful and reducing your anxiety.
How To Deal With Anxiety – After work
1. Leave work at work
It is so easy to leave work, then go home and either still think about work or continue to do work.
This is where it will feel like you can never escape it. But, there are ways to actually enjoy your life outside of work and to separate yourself from it.
It starts by leaving all of the work at work. Don’t respond to emails after you have left the office. And avoid going on your computer once you get home.
If you struggle with toxic co-workers or a difficult work environment, it’s very easy to allow that to bleed into other parts of your life. But, imagine that once you open the door to leave your office, all of the issues you have at your job cannot leave that door.
And then once you get home, work on focusing on other things that bring you joy. Try to avoid getting wrapped up in your thoughts about your job.
Practice being in the present moment and focus on the now. That way you can actually enjoy the time off that you do have. And just tell yourself that you will deal with work tomorrow, when the time comes.
2. Have something to look forward to
Working 8+ hours a day and then driving in traffic is exhausting. That’s a long time to give your energy to another place.
And once you get home, you might feel too tired to do anything but make up some dinner and watch TV. But, this is how it can be easy to think that your job takes over your whole life.
It’s important to create things on your schedule that you look forward to after work, that can take you away from work for a while.
Things like:
- Hanging out with friends
- Going out on a hike
- Going to the gym
- Trying out a new hobby
- Going to a night class
- Having date night
Try to set up 2 or 3 nights a week that you have something exciting to look forward to. This can make going to work more tolerable because you will be doing something you enjoy afterward.
It will also break up the cycle of getting up, going to work, coming home to eat dinner, sleep, repeat.
3. Practice self-care
On the days that you don’t schedule trying something new, work on practicing self-care. Do what you want to do. If that means enjoying a Netflix marathon, do it!
Throughout the day, your cup is being drained from all of the work crap you have to put up with. Find the things that fill up your cup, and make sure to do these things frequently. And if you aren’t sure what fills up your cup, think about the things you enjoyed as a kid.
During the times when you didn’t have to be a responsible adult. Maybe you could even try going to the same park you used to play at as a kid, and mess around on the playground.
These things will help reduce your anxiety because they allow you to connect with yourself.
4. Keep in touch with close family/friends
Talking to other people who understand what you’re going through helps in so many ways.
And if you know people who experience anxiety as well, make sure to reach out to them during the days when you’re anxiety is high.
It helps to talk to someone who understands, and who doesn’t judge.
Sometimes when you’re around people at work who don’t get it, it can feel like there’s just something wrong with you.
In reality, everyone experiences stress and anxiety to some extent. Most people don’t know how to deal with it (that’s why they bury themselves in their jobs).
When you are experiencing anxiety, talk to someone about it. That way you can get your anxious thoughts out and hear what other people have to say about it.
5. Set up an evening routine
Having an evening routine before bed will help calm you down after a long day. It can also help improve your sleep.
And when you struggle with anxiety, these morning and evening routines are essential to keeping your anxiety in check.
A good evening routine consists of:
- Shutting off all technology 30 minutes to 1 hour before going to bed
- Writing in an anxiety journal about how the day went, how you’re feeling, and any remaining anxious thoughts you have
- Practicing calming breathing techniques
- Thinking of 3 things that made you happy that day
- Thinking of 3 things that you are grateful for
I give away a selection of mental wellness books in our member library, one of which includes a daily routine scheduler!
Get them all for free! Just tell me where to send your invite code:
What to do when you can’t cope with your anxiety at work
1. Talk to your boss/ HR
If there is someone at work who you trust, don’t be afraid to talk to them. Anxiety is a serious thing if you aren’t sure how to handle it.
It can ruin your productivity, and if your anxiety is caused by work, it will have an effect on your overall well-being.
That is something that your boss or HR would want to know about. A lot of companies are expanding their resources when it comes to mental health.
If you can talk to someone you trust about what you’re experiencing, they might be able to help you. If there isn’t anyone at work you feel like you can trust to talk about these things, it might be time to reevaluate where you’re working.
2. Evaluate how important your job is
Your job might be what is causing your anxiety to shoot through the roof.
Anxiety occurs for a number of reasons, but sometimes it’s the environment that we’re in that can set it off.
Think about how your job makes you feel when you’re there, and if there is anything that causes you stress there. Also, think about your co-workers and who you would feel comfortable talking to about your anxiety.
If you come to the conclusion that your job is what is causing anxiety, and there are a lot of things wrong with it, you should consider trying to find another place to work.
I understand that sounds way easier than it is. I’m not saying that you should just go in and quit your job tomorrow. We all have bills to pay and responsibilities.
But, if you know your job is causing you anxiety, I am here to tell you there are other options. You should never feel stuck where you’re at.
Start by writing down a pros and cons list of your job, then think about the type of job you would really enjoy. You can slowly work on trying to find a new one while practicing the things above.
Or, do what I did: I quit my job so I could blog full-time. My blog is now my full-time, 6 figure business.
If you’d like to start your own blog, I recommend this blogging as a business course.
3. Find professional help
Anxiety is not the easiest thing to handle on your own. Especially if it has grown over time. Sometimes, talking to a professional is one of the best ways to sort through your thoughts.
A therapist can work with you to give you the right tools you need to work with your anxiety.
That’s why I always recommend using BetterHelp.
BetterHelp matches you with a licensed therapist who has professional experience in teaching you how to get through social anxiety.
The cool part is you can connect with your therapist any time you need to. If you have any questions throughout the week, you can just shoot them an email or a message, and they usually get back to you within a day or two.
When I used to go to in-person therapy, it was only once a week, which sucked when I really needed to talk to someone.
I would also sometimes forget what I needed to talk about, and end up remembering later and would have to wait another week to talk about it again. If you’re interested in learning more about BetterHelp, you can click here.
Do you have more questions about overcoming social anxiety? Leave them in the comments below!
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by The Lovely Refinement Team | Oct 11, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Finding Motivation, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
I have created this 30 Day Mental Wellness Challenge to help you. Are you interested in improving your mental health?
To help reduce anxiety and depression, and improve your overall confidence within yourself.
Improving your mental health takes some time. Your brain is like a muscle, so you basically have to work out that muscle just like you would any other muscle in your body.
And you know that you have to work out at least a few times a week to continue to build muscle. So let’s begin!
30-Day Mental Wellness Challenge
There are a lot of options out there to help improve your mental wellness. Medication and therapy help in ways other options can’t.
But, if you can’t afford them or just want to see what else is out there it is possible to improve your mental wellness without those.
Note: You can get an affordable, virtual therapist via the BetterHelp app.
Working on building up your mental strength requires that you focus on it daily. The good part is it doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of time on it.
And you can do it anywhere, you don’t need any special equipment.
To help you improve your mental wellness and reduce anxiety, doing a 30-day challenge can help keep you on track. You’ll also know exactly what to do each day, which makes it super easy!
You can start the challenge at any time. Some people find success at the beginning of the month, but you can start today as long as you just make a note of the day you started.
In addition to this mental wellness challenge, you may also like my Self-Love Guide, you can download that for free by clicking the image below:
Week 1
Welcome to the 30-Day Mental Wellness Challenge!
Day 1. Write down your goals for the next 30 days
What do you want to accomplish with this challenge? How do you want to feel when you’re done with this?
Where are you currently at with your mental health?
Tracking your progress throughout the whole challenge can help you notice a difference or not. Getting into the habit of journaling your thoughts daily can help improve your mindset as well!
Day 2. Wake up 30 minutes earlier to write in your journal about how you’re feeling
Today wake up 30 minutes earlier than you normally would so you have time to write down in your journal.
Here are some journaling prompts to help get your brain working first thing in the morning.
Day 3. Spend 20 minutes outside. Take in what you see and hear
Take some time to enjoy being outside, no matter what the weather! If it’s snowing, you don’t have to do it for the full 20 minutes.
Pay attention to what you see as you go on a walk. Being aware of your senses can keep you in the present and help reduce anxious thoughts.
Day 4. Drink enough water. A minimum of 8 glasses. Cleanse your body
Most people don’t drink enough water and instead replace it with other drinks.
Caffeinated beverages can increase anxiety levels and overall not make you feel your best.
- Try to drink at least 8 glasses of water today, and avoid any other type of drink.
- If you need a cup of coffee in the morning to get you going (like I do!), that’s fine. Just use the rest of the day to hydrate your organs and feel a little more refreshed.
Day 5. Ask to hang out with your closest friends
You might want to isolate yourself when you’re feeling anxious. Staying indoors away from people sometimes feels like the best solution.
But, isolation makes your anxious thoughts worse and can soon turn into depression.
- Make it a point to reach out to your closest friends or family.
- The people in your life who love to hear from you and want to support you. Set a date to hang out with them tonight.
Day 6. De-clutter
Cleaning out your closet might feel overwhelming, but it can seriously do wonders for your anxiety levels!
Look around your room or house and think about the things you can either clean or get rid of.
Clean up the space around you so you can clear your mind.
If It’s too overwhelming to tackle your whole house, just focus on one room at a time. Then reward yourself with a relaxing afternoon or your favorite dinner.
Day 7. Spend time alone. Practice self-care.
Today is your day. Time to be alone with your mind and body.
Practice some self-care:
- Sleep in
- Avoid any difficult chores
- Read a good book
- Take a bath
Give yourself some much-needed time to unwind and de-stress after a long week.
Week 2
Day 8. Eat healthy anxiety-reducing meals for the whole day
You can plan this out in advance or just work on making better food choices today.
Here is a list of the best anxiety-reducing foods and meals you can try today.
- Starting the week off with a healthy mind and body gives you the energy to tackle the rest of the week.
Day 9. Take a social media break for 24 hours
It’s scary how much we rely on our phones to get us through the day.
That’s why it’s important to consciously take a break from it all for a day.
Turn off your social media notifications, log out of your accounts, or even delete the apps off your phone.
- Do a social media detox for the whole day and log how you feel at the end. (If you don’t use social media, then you can do the same thing for emails, text messages, and phone calls. The only exception is if you need those things for work.)
Day 10. Spend 5 minutes meditating
There are some awesome apps out there that help you focus on meditating.
The cool thing is you only have to do it for 5 minutes today!
The best times to practice being mindful are either first thing or right before you go to bed.
Choose an app from below and pick a time of day that works best for you to practice being more mindful.
Some great apps for mindfulness are:
Day 11. No TV Night
Avoid coming home and watching Netflix for the rest of the night.
Most of the time we turn to TV as just a distraction from our lives.
Tonight, do something you really enjoy. What hobbies do you like that you haven’t done in a while?
- This can be something simple like cooking up a tasty dinner and baking dessert, reading a book, being around family, learning a new language, practicing an instrument, or building a skill of some sort.
Day 12. De-compress. Spend the evening watching your favorite movie and relaxing
You’ve worked hard, so it’s time to take a break!
Go easy tonight and do what makes you most comfortable.
Day 13. Make a list of all the things you enjoy doing, then spend today doing them
Make it a point to go after the things you want today.
Splurge a little and go do something fun. Maybe that’s calling up some friends and going to the museum, bowling or on a hike.
Really enjoy today and soak up every minute of it
Day 14. Dance around to your favorite playlist.
Let loose, throw on some headphones, and dance around to your favorite tunes.
This helps you release all of the built-up tension. Allow yourself to fully enjoy each song and let go of all your problems for a few minutes.
Week 3
Day 15. Start your morning with a bang. Wake up earlier, drink some water, write in your journal, and practice gratitude
Today’s challenge is setting up a strong morning routine.
Take some time to complete each thing and really focus on being present for each task.
- You can see how you feel at the end of the day and if it helped your anxiety levels at all.
Day 16. Workout for 30 minutes
Yay, exercise! Well, the good part is you get to choose what it is.
Everyone has different preferences for working out. Some love running, others love yoga.
Choose an exercise that works best for you and do it for 30 minutes today.
Day 17. Do something that pushes you out of your comfort zone
Talk to your crush, ask your boss for a promotion, talk to a stranger, or travel to a different city.
These are just some things that will push you out of your comfort zone.
A good way to combat anxiety is by taking action and doing some of the things that really scare you. That way once you do them, you will see they aren’t as scary as you thought.
- Choose one thing that would make you uncomfortable while also benefiting you. Preferably something you have really wanted to do but were too afraid to try.
Day 18. Give more to someone in need.
Today you can focus your attention on helping someone else.
Pay close attention to someone who may be in extra need of support today.
Day 19. Listen to Mental Health Podcasts
Fuel your mind today by listening to mental health podcasts that are relatable to what you’re going through.
Podcasts have become really popular lately and there are a lot of valuable series to listen to or save for later.
Here is a list of highly-rated mental health podcasts.
Day 20. Cook up your favorite meal
You can do this for every meal or just for one. Even if you barely know how to cook use it as a challenge to learn something new today.
Pick one of your favorite dishes and spend time cooking it up and enjoying the art of cooking.
Day 22. Practice breathing exercises
Having a few breathing techniques up your sleeve can quickly help you relieve anxiety.
Any time you’re feeling anxious today (or any time you want to), practice some breathing exercises.
Week 4
Day 23. Don’t complain at all today. Work on seeing the good
Complaining leads to feeling like the victim of your own life. Instead of blaming other things for going wrong today, practice letting go.
Each time you get annoyed or frustrated by things, turn your thinking to something good.
For example, if you get annoyed about waiting in traffic, turn on some music or a podcast and look around.
- List 5 things you see, feel, and hear.
- Then list 3 things you’re grateful for. And think about what you have to look forward to when you get home.
Day 24. Act like a kid for the day. Do things your inner child would love
Think back to what you liked to do as a kid, then make it a point to do some of those things today. Act like a kid for the day and let go of adult responsibilities (as best you can).
When you listen to what your inner child wants, you help connect with yourself on a deeper level. And life doesn’t feel so overwhelming when you work on taking care of the inner child in you.
Some ways you can act like a kid for the day are:
- Color in a coloring book
- Go for a bike ride
- Eat your favorite cereal and watch some cartoons
- Hang out with your friends or family’s children
Day 25. Set some boundaries. Practice saying no to doing the things you really don’t want to do
Today, focus on setting some boundaries. If you have agreed to make plans or do something you didn’t want to do, speak up and let the people know you can’t do them.
Setting boundaries helps you feel mentally stronger because you don’t put up with things you don’t want. And other people start to respect you because they know they can’t walk all over you.
Day 26. Put yourself first today. Be kind and listen to what your gut tells you
There are many reasons to put yourself first, the main one being that you will have more patience for the people around you because your cup is filled.
Spend today putting yourself first. Set some boundaries and listen to what you truly want to do. Try to let go of the stress that other people may be causing you today and remember that you deserve to come first.
Day 27. Make a list of 10 things you love about yourself
Practice some self-love today and come up with 10 things you personally love about yourself. This can be anything.
From your personality to what you look like, list some things that you appreciate about who you are.
And if you can come up with more than 10 things, great! Throughout today try to come up with some things you like and then review them at the end of the day.
Day 28. Treat yourself. Buy that outfit or thing you’ve been wanting for a while
You’ve been working hard at improving your mental health! Take today and treat yourself to something special.
It’s always good to reward yourself every once in a while when you’re doing a challenge. This keeps you motivated to keep going.
- Treat yourself to your favorite meal or buy that thing you’ve been thinking about for a while now.
Day 29. Challenge your negative thoughts
You can honestly spend every day challenging your negative thoughts, but today it’ll be your main focus.
Whenever you feel your inner critic take over, work on challenging those thoughts. And if you’re feeling particularly anxious work on digging a little deeper as to why you’re anxious.
Ask yourself “Why is this bothering me?”. You can even write down your thoughts to get them out of your head and into the open.
Day 30. Self-reflect on the month
What do you want to do differently next month? What worked this month? Did this challenge help your anxiety?
Reflect on how this month went and see if this challenge helped your mentality at all.
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- Did you accomplish the goals you wanted?
- Which was your favorite and least favorite day?
- What do you want to do next month to help with your mental health?
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by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Do you need help to boost self-esteem? Lack of confidence? You are not alone.
Low self-esteem is a common challenge regardless of your age, background, or socioeconomic status. We all know that high self-esteem is a good thing, but how does one go about developing it?
There are tons of programs and books designed to raise your self-esteem, but it’s still a challenge. Try these top 10 confidence-building tips to give your self-esteem the boost you seek.
10 Easy Ways To Strengthen And Boost Self-Esteem And Confidence
Increase your confidence and feel great about yourself with these strategies to boost your self-esteem.
1. Get support from your biggest fan.
You probably have a friend or family member who always finds a way to lift you up when you’re feeling down. Pay them a visit and let them know you’re struggling. Get their opinion on what you’re thinking about.
Sometimes we just need a reminder that we’re doing a lot better than we think we are.
2. Remember that self-esteem is a symptom of detrimental thinking habits.
Anything that was said or happened in the past is over. You can only keep those things alive with your thoughts. Your negative thoughts and inner critic will tear you down until there’s nothing left.
It’s your choice to allow that to happen or to work on it and become your best friend. This starts with changing your thoughts.
Uplift your thinking and your self-esteem will begin to rise as well.
3. Learn how to take a compliment.
Compliments are hard to take when your self-esteem is low. Ironically, that’s when you need them the most.
Smile and thank the other person for the compliment. Resist the urge to dismiss the compliments you receive.
4. You’re much more interesting than the person you pretend to be.
We develop the urge to conform when we are in elementary school. But you’re not like everyone else. You’re unique. You’ll make more friends and have more influence if you’re willing to be yourself.
We’re not made for everyone and the people who don’t accept you are most likely the wrong people for you. Stop trying to change for other people, and don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
Once you learn to live a more authentic life you will drastically improve your self-esteem.
But you’re not like everyone else. You’re unique. You’ll make more friends and have more influence if you’re willing to be yourself.
5. You’ve already accomplished amazing things.
Two of the most challenging things anyone has ever accomplished are learning to walk and learning to talk.
Think about how long each takes to do well.
They both require years of constant practice. Anything else you want to do with your life pales by comparison.
6. You can learn social skills.
Many people with low self-esteem struggle with relationships or social situations. You’re not flawed; you’re just not aware of how to do it.
Many children learn these skills while others do not. It’s never too late.
7. Other people aren’t thinking about you.
It’s hard to believe, but people aren’t talking behind your back or thinking negative thoughts about you.
Everyone else is wondering what you’re thinking and saying.
8. Be willing to say “No.”
It’s natural to feel bad about yourself when you agree to do things you don’t want to do.
It’s disrespectful to yourself.
- Give yourself the respect you deserve and refuse requests when you genuinely don’t want to do them.
9. Beware of social media.
While social media can make it easy to stay in touch with others, understand that most of what you see is misleading.
Few people are presenting their lives honestly. It’s a place to showcase the high points of your life. Everyone has challenges, but you’ll rarely see them on social media.
10. Develop your strengths.
Are you a great dancer? Take a few dance classes. Are you a good writer? Take a writing course like this one, and develop your writing skills further.
11. Run with your strengths and find ways to leverage them.
Imagine what your life would look like if you consistently enjoyed high self-esteem.
Visualize how much more enjoyable life would be and how much more you could accomplish. The change in your life would be stunning.
10 Easy Ways To Strengthen And Boost Self-Esteem – Conclusion
Begin the journey of enhancing your opinion of yourself today. No one else will do it for you. You’ll be glad you did! And after some time practicing these tips to boost self-esteem, pretty soon you will feel it.
More Ways To Improve Your Life
Please pin this if you enjoyed reading my tips on ways to strengthen your self-esteem.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Finding Motivation, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Are you stuck, unsure of how to reach your full potential? Are you limiting yourself by ignoring the full potential you’re capable of reaching? At first, it feels like too much effort to go out of your comfort zone and see how far you can go.
That effort is what keeps a lot of people from even trying in the first place. However, it’s interesting to see what you can accomplish if you try.
Today I want to share with you some strategies you can use to reach your full potential and discover yourself.
7 Strategies That Will Help You Reach Your Full Potential
When you think back on your past, and into your future, what have your goals looked like? Have you often achieved the goals you’ve set for yourself, or do you let them slide to the wayside?
These are just a few questions to ask yourself as you work on reaching your full potential. A lot of what holds us back is our own thoughts.
As soon as you learn to reprogram your thoughts, you will quickly start to see doors open and your life becomes more fruitful.
1. Start with baby steps
As you create big goals for your future, break them down into tiny baby steps. You’ll get easily overwhelmed by all of the to-do’s, causing you to feel frozen in place.
Categorize the steps into groups and break it all down, then choose one thing to focus on for this week. If you want to start working out more, set aside just 5 minutes a day to focus on that.
Related: How to Get Motivated When You Struggle With Anxiety & Depression
2. Your progress ebbs and flows
To give you an idea of what progress and success looks like:
Just like with this blog that you’re reading, progress is a bumpy road. It took me a long time to figure out how to blog and how to get people to see it.
There were SO many times I just wanted to give up on it, but the picture from above is what’s kept me motivated to continue on this journey.
Once you can accept how progress really goes, you will have more patience with the process. It just comes with persistence and time.
The longer you stick with it, the more progress you will make. You will also learn a lot of lessons along the way that will build your resilience!
3. Narrow down to one thing at a time
Limit yourself to just a few activities if you want to reach a high level of mastery. Mastering anything takes time.
Patience is key to long-term development
For example, if you want to be more physically active then focus on just one thing. Maybe that’s replacing soda with water, or running 10 minutes a day.
Start small so the new changes don’t feel overwhelming. Focus on one thing, then move on to the next.
I am the type of person who loves to dabble in different things, so I don’t want to limit you to just one thing. But, it is helpful to focus your attention on one thing at a time so you get really good at it. Then you can move on to the next thing.
4. Imagine the new you
Another way to think of this is when you wake up in the morning, imagine being the person you want to be.
If you want to be healthier, ask what would a healthy person do. Then DO those things. If a healthy person would eat an apple instead of chips, do that.
Be the person you want to be by practicing this exercise.
5. Be persistent
In order to make lasting changes, you have to push yourself. Keep doing the grind and keep reminding yourself of your why.
Why do you need this, why do you want it? Keep that at the top of your mind until it becomes ingrained into you.
Consistency and persistence are key, as well as a tremendous amount of patience.
6. Always be learning
Connect with like-minded people around you who remind you of why you want this in the first place. Then learn from them.
Take online courses or even find a coach who can help guide you to where you want to be.
We can’t always do things alone and you’ll need plenty of support to nudge you in the direction you want to go.
7. Break free from fear
Fear can hold you back from doing anything, and from living an amazing life. Instead, you want to have fear be a part of your life, but not let it control you.
Allow fear to keep you on your toes and lean into it. Once you see that fear is just what you make up in your head to be scary, you will slowly become less fearful.
7 Strategies That Will Help You Reach Your Full Potential – Conclusion
And when you continue to step out of your comfort zone and embrace change, you will become stronger. Your grit will build and you’ll be resilient with anything life throws at you.
Be sure to enroll in my awesome online course ‘Refine Your Life Purpose + Wellness‘ to learn more about ways you can reach your full potential, discover your purpose, and create a life you love.
So now, go ahead and work to reach your full potential!
More life improvement tips to help you reach your full potential
Download our free mental wellness kit HERE
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 17, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Finding Motivation, Happiness Tips, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Lately, I’ve been wondering how to live a more meaningful life. Wondering how I can have more control over my life. It’s something that happens as you get older.
You learn to let go of all these things you don’t want anymore. Things you maybe thought you wanted but eventually grow out of. That’s where claiming your true power comes into play.
Claiming your power is about your character and accomplishments. It’s the result of who you are and what you do. When you learn how to unlock your personal power, you can achieve your goals and lead a more meaningful life.
14 Ways to Step Into Your True Power & Live a More Meaningful Life
By harnessing that power, you will also speak up more about what you do and don’t want. You won’t feel so trapped by a life that you really don’t want.
In some ways, building up your inner power is like building up your outer body. It takes effort and practice.
Start with these exercises for cultivating inner strengths and taking positive actions.
1. Clarify your values.
Understand who you are and what’s important to you. You do this by getting to know yourself more. Don’t be afraid to do things alone and to step out of your comfort zone.
It’s too easy to have your values blocked by what you think you’re supposed to be. Instead of who you want to be.
Every day society is telling us what we should value and what we shouldn’t, but the only way to claim your true power is by ignoring all of these mixed messages.
Focus on what you value deep in your heart and what matters most to you. When you get clearer on this, your inner power will grow.
2. Practice Optimism.
The world tears us down from the moment we wake up until the moment we fall asleep. As the day wears on, your boss may criticize you or you get stuck in traffic.
It’s easy to allow these annoyances to change your view of the world. Making you more negative towards things that shouldn’t have that much power over you.
Focus instead on what is going right in your world. Sure, you have bad days because we all do. You’re not alone in this and I’m not going to try and tell you to just pretend to be positive all the time.
But there is beauty in the way that some people turn lemons into lemonade, right? Even when shit is hitting the fan these people can throw a smile on and shake it off.
Imagine what those people would do in your shoes. Laugh off the things that won’t matter tomorrow and turn your attention towards the things you love and value in your life.
Related: How to Cleanse Your Mind of Negative Thoughts
3. Build your self-esteem.
Question your self-limiting beliefs. Have the courage to take worthwhile risks and give yourself credit for trying.
Building up your self-esteem is one of the best things you can do. When you believe in yourself, you build resilience towards anything in life.
This takes practice just like thinking more optimistically does. Most people aren’t born naturally confident, they are instead surrounded by things that build their confidence.
This means supportive people and allowing yourself room to make mistakes and take risks, without feeling like a total failure in the process.
4. Manage your emotions.
Recognize your feelings without letting them distract you from making healthy choices. Stop trying to bury emotions deep inside, pretending they don’t exist. This only makes things worse.
You won’t learn how to deal with bad things if you never express your emotions. And the only way to gain control over fear, anxiety, or depression is by shining a light on them.
Whenever you feel sad, angry, hurt, or confused, don’t be afraid to sit with yourself and dissect why you feel that way. Validate your feelings so you can manage them.
5. Let go of baggage.
Free yourself from grudges and resentments.
Forgive yourself and others for any past disappointments.
6. Persevere through obstacles.
Patiently accept reversals and delays as the price of success. Remember your purpose and renew your commitment when the going gets tough.
7. Be authentic.
Stay true to yourself. Be prepared to align your actions with your values even when it’s uncomfortable. Evaluate your progress according to your own standards instead of comparing yourself to others.
Authenticity gives you real strength.
8. Meditate and pray.
You don’t have to be religious to be spiritual. Faith and mindfulness can make you stronger and more resilient. Set aside time each day to give thanks and connect with your spiritual side.
Practice your faith by seizing opportunities to be kind and generous.
9. Engage in self-care.
Your physical condition affects your personal power. Keep your body in peak condition with a balanced diet rich in whole foods like fresh vegetables and fruits. Exercise regularly and stick to a consistent sleep schedule.
10. Continue learning.
Adding to your knowledge and abilities also makes you more powerful. Sign up for educational seminars at work or study a foreign language at your local community college.
Take courses online and read classic novels in your free time.
11. Communicate skillfully.
You can make yourself more likable and influential. Ask friends and colleagues you trust for honest feedback about areas where you need to grow.
- Brush up on your attentive listening or public speaking skills. Monitor your body language and proofread your emails.
12. Network vigorously.
A robust network gives you more opportunities to leverage your strengths by collaborating with others. Help others by sharing your time, expertise, and other resources. Stay in touch with your old contacts, and attend events where you can widen your circle.
13. Aim for balance.
It’s tempting to limit ourselves to the areas where we feel safe and appreciated. Ensure you’re giving adequate attention to both your professional and family life.
14. Maximize your productivity.
Time and other resources are limited. Organizing your routines can help you to do more with less.
Mental and spiritual strength allows you to take charge of your life and your future. Claim your true power so you can realize your potential and have a positive impact on the world around you.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 11, 2019 | Happiness Tips, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Forgiving yourself is so important for mental well-being. We all have things that we regret in life and wish we had done things differently.
We’re only human, after all!
It’s often a lot easier to forgive other people for fairly major things while hanging onto strong resentment towards yourself for even minor slip-ups.
7 Tips For Forgiving Yourself & Moving On
If you find it hard to forgive yourself for things that have happened in the past, it can have a big effect on how you treat yourself.
And according to studies, it can also make you more likely to have health problems, including autoimmune conditions, heart disease, and even cancer.
Learning how to forgive yourself and give yourself permission to move on from mistakes is so important for self-love. Your ultimate goal is for specific situations to no longer cause you negative emotions such as pain, anger, and resentment.
Here are some tips for forgiving yourself so that you can move on with your life and start to love yourself in the way you deserve.
1. Release negative emotions
When you’re holding onto strong negative emotions, it’s almost impossible to truly forgive yourself unless you’re able to release them.
Whether you’re feeling guilt, shame, or just generally hate yourself, you won’t be able to move forward until you’ve dealt with the underlying emotions that you’re feeling.
It’s often the case that your reactions to even the mere thought of what you did are what is making you feel so bad and by releasing them, they won’t hold the same power. This makes it a whole lot easier to start the process of forgiving yourself.
A great way to release negative emotions is by practicing mindfulness every day. Mindfulness reduces anxiety and helps you focus better on everyday tasks. Be sure to download the free mindfulness activities below and get started on releasing all of those negative emotions:
2. Accept that you’re not perfect
None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes. When you didn’t intentionally set out to hurt someone through your actions, holding onto shame and letting it affect how you see yourself can be hugely damaging to your self-esteem.
Your mistakes aren’t ‘proof’ of your failings and they don’t make you a bad person. If you can see mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow, it opens up a whole different mindset.
3. It’s okay to let the memory go
Are you still holding onto what happened in your mind and not able to put it aside? This could be one of the big reasons why you’re struggling to forgive yourself. It is actually a perfectly natural response given that our brains are hardwired to use past experiences to try to protect us.
That doesn’t make it helpful though. Reliving the situation in your mind fools your brain into believing that it is happening again and that sets off the stress response.
It also means that you define yourself through the situation, rather than accepting that it happened and trying to learn from it.
It’s not about forgetting what happened. Instead, you want to acknowledge that your actions may have had repercussions but this doesn’t need to extend to self-destructive emotions.
4. Flip the situation around
If you were told about the situation you can’t forgive yourself for, what would you tell the other person? Chances are, you’d push them to forgive themselves and point out some of the reasons why.
And there’s no reason why that shouldn’t apply to you too.
This is a great habit to get into whenever things don’t quite go to plan.
5. Get a different perspective
Talking about the situation with a trusted friend can give you a different take on things.
Because they’re not living in your head and aren’t affected by the same thoughts and emotions as you, they have enough distance to see things that you probably can’t, especially around why you should forgive yourself.
Related: 5 Simple Ways to Stay Present in Everyday Life
6. Learn from what happened
Spending some time thinking about what you could have done differently can be very powerful for opening your eyes to the fact that you may not have been in the best position to do the ‘right’ thing then. For most people, there is a really good chance that you have gained new skills or insights since it happened and you can use those to learn from the situation so it doesn’t happen again.
7. Work on self-love
Love is often a strong factor in our ability to forgive. The opposite can be true too – if you don’t love yourself all that much, you’re probably going to have a much tougher time forgiving yourself.
7 Tips For Forgiving Yourself & Moving On – Conclusion
Once you’ve started to have success with this, it’s a lot easier to avoid beating yourself up for every mistake.
You’re probably a lot harsher on yourself than you are with other people, right? This is a sign that it’s time to work on accepting yourself more and learning to love who you are.
