by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jan 5, 2020 | Entrepreneurship, Self-Improvement
Oh my goodness – it’s my first blog income report! In October of 2019, I finally monetized my blog. I still have a long way to go, but in just 2 months, I have made $2,007 which to me is awesome!
Today I am sharing my first blog income report to show you everything I have done so far, which has helped me make my first $2k with LovelyRefinement.com.
Before, this blog was not making any money, or ranking for any good keywords. I changed that, implementing the strategies in this blogging course. It covers exactly how to make a blog rank, convert subscribers, and make sales.
It is actually 6 courses rolled into a bundle, covering blogging, SEO, Pinterest marketing, email marketing, blog monetization, affiliate marketing, creating your own products, and more.
How I Made $2,000 Blogging – My First Blog Income Report
In October I began my test to see if I could monetize LovelyRefinement and turn a profit.
Here’s what I did to earn $2000 blogging in the mental wellness niche with a small niche lifestyle blog. Plus, what I am continuing to do to grow it.
My first blog income report!
Income:
- Ads & affiliate income – $1,693
- Amazon affiliate – $19
- Digital Products – $300
Expenses:
My blog expenses are pretty simple.
Here’s how I made my first $2,000 blogging in less than 3 months.
1. I launched My Own Course & Digital Products Store
This is really exciting for me. In October I launched the LovelyRefinement shop, created a course, and a couple of ebooks, and put them up for sale.
It has been bringing in sales already, and I got a product into the Ultimate Productivity Bundle which is incredible!
My course is a mental wellness program that helps women overcome anxiety and self-doubt, to step into their abilities with confidence. Learn more about it here!
2. I Monetized My Blog With Affiliate Marketing
In addition to offering my own products for sale, I am now also promoting affiliate products, where I earn a commission.
Affiliate marketing is something that I always just assumed was really difficult to do, but I was wrong. It’s not difficult!
If you aren’t making good money from your blog yet, I would recommend that you take a blogging course that teaches all sorts of different monetization strategies.
Be Your Own Blog Boss by HerPaperRoute is the 6-course bundle that covers everything.
It’s taught in a fun way that even a complete newbie can make sense of affiliate marketing.
You can get $50 off with code LOVELY50 for a limited time.
3. I Am Creating New Pins Daily
Adding fresh pins to Pinterest each day is something that is a bit tedious, but it REALLY helps to bring in new visitors to my blog.
And it’s completely free advertising, so worth the effort I think.
I am making new pins for old blog posts a few times a week right now, and I intend to make it a daily thing, now that the Holidays are over and I have more time.
Come and follow my progress over on Pinterest @LovelyRefinement
4. I Am Focusing On SEO
SEO (search engine optimization) is so important. I’ve been lucky that the Pinterest marketing strategies that I’ve learned are helping to bring in 50k monthly page views from Pinterest now.
I have over 1.7 million monthly page views on Pinterest now too. Tailwind is really great for boosting Pinterest traffic – fyi!
But I know that I shouldn’t depend on one source of traffic. I need to diversify my traffic and focus on Google Organic specifically.
And that means improving my on-page SEO of old articles. As well as working on off-page SEO to get more backlinks.
Many of my old blog posts had no focus keywords, no meta descriptions, and no real thought about using them to rank for search terms.
So, I am currently editing all of my old blog posts and:
- cleaning them up
- doing keyword research for each
- writing meta descriptions
- and improving them with good SEO practices in mind.
SEO is something that takes a while to see results from, but when done right, it will make a big difference in organic traffic.
5. I Am Focusing On Connecting With My Audience
Something that is really important to me is the relationship that I have with you, my reader.
I discuss a lot of sensitive topics here on the blog such as anxiety, depression, and mental wellness – and that brings people from all walks of life.
Some of my loyal readers struggle with depression and tell me that they come here to LovelyRefinement because the articles offer them a supportive and uplifting space when they are facing their darkest days.
It means a lot to me that my writing is being received this way, and that it can offer some support when you need it most.
So with this in mind, I have expanded my personalized resources. Including a private membership where members can get additional resources from me (all for free!) which also includes access to a private Facebook support group.
As well, I am sending a weekly motivational email to all members to further grow our relationship – which I love!
My First Blog Income Report – Conclusion
I feel like I have reached a big milestone in LovelyRefinement’s blogging journey, now that my first blog income report has happened!
As things progress, I will add more income reports in the future. Blogging really is the best, and it offers so many possibilities for making money.
Hopefully, you found this blog income report helpful, and you are inspired to start your own blog today.
If you want to start your own blog, enroll in HerPaperRoute’s free blogging course.
And when you are ready to monetize your blog, enroll in Be Your Own Blog Boss. Remember to use code LOVELY50 at checkout to save $50.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Dec 30, 2019 | Finding Motivation, Self-Improvement
If you have a string of bad events occurring in your life, it becomes difficult to work on fighting through them.
Especially when you’re losing your strength each time you get knocked on your ass.
The truth is that a lot of people who are going through difficult moments in their life don’t actively work on pushing through them.
They just find temporary coping mechanisms to help them through, even if they aren’t the healthiest. But there are positive things that can come from hard times.
How the Bad Times in Your Life Actually Make You Stronger
When life gets hard, it’s easier to just avoid what’s happening right in front of you. Ignoring it until it goes away.
You can build up your own internal strength by showing up during the roughest moments in your life.
Sometimes this feels scary and it will always be uncomfortable. And you may question why you decide to put yourself through the pain, instead of covering it up with something easier.
Trying to avoid pain in life just isn’t possible. Eventually, it will catch up with you, just like it does with everyone else.
Begin to Trust Yourself More
When things don’t go as planned you may look to your closest friends for a shoulder to cry on.
This can be a great way to let go of some of the frustration, but it isn’t helpful if you always rely on other people to pull you out.
When you start to become the victim of your life, you lose the strength to keep fighting.
At some point, you have to believe in yourself enough to trust that you can make it through this bad situation.
How do you do that? Well, it just starts with being alone with yourself more and seeing what you’re capable of.
Instead of calling up a friend every time, take a drive by yourself.
Go on a walk with your dog and listen to some music. Get some distance from everything building up in your head.
You can even try practicing meditation or yoga to calm your mood.
When you learn to trust yourself, you build confidence. And when you’re confident enough with who you are, you know you can make it through to the other side.
You may not feel like you’re good enough or worthy enough of being happy.
You have to work on breaking that thought process and putting up a fight for yourself when your life gets hard.
Friends and family are a great support system and important to have. But believing in yourself ensures you can survive anything on your own if needed.
Develop a Strong Support System
After you learn to trust yourself more, having a strong support system is essential to building enough strength during the most difficult times in your life.
We can’t always rely on other people to solve our problems so that’s why I encourage you to get more in tune with yourself, first.
Once you get more in tune with yourself and build up enough internal strength, you then learn when you do need to reach out for support. We can all use a helping hand during difficult times.
A strong support system consists of the best people you want to have in your corner. The ones who don’t judge what you’re going through.
They listen and sympathize with you. Sometimes they might give you a much-needed kick in the butt.
Other times they are the ones who you can laugh with when life just gets way too serious. This can be a large mix of people or just a small few.
If you find you are surrounded by a lot of negative people who just believe the world is out to get them (especially during difficult moments), then it’s probably time to try and find some new people to be around.
Find people who lift you up, and who you can lift up as well. The ones who put in as much effort as they receive are the ones you want on your side.
Build Up Your Mental Strength
Your brain is a muscle and it is possible to build its strength.
If you struggle with anxiety or depression, building up your mental strength can go a long way.
You learn how to become more resilient in the face of stress and overwhelm.
You also learn how to control your thoughts better, and what you allow to have an effect on your life.
Building up your mental strength takes consistent work. Just like working out any other muscle in your body.
You want to spend time on it daily to see improvement. And you might think it’s not possible at first.
Our brains are tricky in the way that you can’t physically see any improvement—it’s all in your head. So, you can convince yourself it doesn’t work before you even try.
Some of the best ways to build up your mental strength include:
These are just some examples of what mental strength looks like. You can learn how to do this by working on it daily.
The more you build up your mental strength, the more resilient you will become to life’s toughest moments.
There are so many people out there who have faced tremendous amounts of tragedy and grief and who suffer from anxiety. These people also have come out on the other side and are some of the strongest people you will ever meet.
Because they know what they can and can’t control. And they have worked hard at building up strength mentally to endure whatever life throws at them.
Stop Relying on Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
While I will admit that I do enjoy a large glass of wine after a crazy stressful week, I don’t rely on it every time something goes wrong.
When we start to rely on the things that help numb us to the pain, we lose our strength to keep fighting the battle.
There are many different kinds of unhealthy ways to cope with stress in life.
And I don’t have to tell you that they are just a temporary fix that will only make you feel worse later.
Stop trying to fix your problems with these things.
If you do something every once in a while, to just take a break and want to enjoy yourself, then do it.
It’s if you do need it daily or most days out of the week in order to push through.
You don’t actually need these things, it’s just your brain thinking you do.
Letting go of unhealthy coping mechanisms can quickly build up your strength.
Just letting go of the reliance alone will make you feel better about yourself. You’ll also start to believe that you are strong enough to make it through without those things.
Moving Forward
I understand that there are certain moments in life that are crazy hard to get through.
Losing someone close to you or something that played a huge part in your life is never easy.
If you really do feel like you’re struggling and aren’t sure where to look next, I highly suggest reaching out to a professional.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Dec 6, 2019 | Self-Confidence, Self-Improvement
There are many ways to reduce social anxiety. You do not have to ‘just get on with it.’ You can actually overcome it.
Social anxiety is a very common thing, and it’s definitely possible to overcome it. That means deciding to go out and do things that scare you, despite how anxious you’re feeling.
With the Holiday season of celebrations and social gatherings approaching, now is the best time to practice these 10 ways to reduce social anxiety.
Soon you will hit the scene with confidence, and dang it, you may really have a good time, too.
10 Ways To Reduce Social Anxiety
I know, learning how to overcome social anxiety is tough. Situations that involve large groups or public speaking can make it worse.
When you give in to the anxiety and avoid these situations, the anxiety continues to grow. Then you’re eventually left feeling trapped.
The fear becomes too much to handle, and staying home instead of going out into the real world sounds like the safest option.
You might still feel anxious at times, but knowing the right techniques to push through it will make you believe in yourself more. And sometimes seeking help when you need it. This in return builds up your confidence.
Which gets stronger, and then you’re able to trust yourself more and your social anxiety lessens. I have a few tips on how to start overcoming your anxiety so you can feel confident again.
Related: What to give an introvert as a present
1. Start Challenging Your Thinking
Your thoughts are powerful. They can and will convince you of anything if you let them.
Think you’re going to look stupid in front of the boy you like? That thought turns into fear, which turns into anxiety.
What you need to do is challenge that thought.
Okay, so you might look stupid in front of a boy you like. What’s the worst that can happen? Does that guy think you’re stupid?
First, if he’s that judgemental, he’s not worth your time. Second, the feeling of looking or acting stupid is all in your head.
Most people don’t notice the same things you do. We are our harshest critic.
You can easily beat yourself up for not saying the exact perfect thing. Give yourself a break, take a step back, and don’t let that thought take over. Practice thinking rationally.
The moment you allow your thoughts to control you, you’ll start to avoid the situations that trigger anxiety. Which means it will only continue to grow and get worse.
2. Talk to More People
You don’t have to go up to a complete stranger and force yourself to be super uncomfortable.
Instead, practice talking to your friends or family. Think about questions you can ask them, more about their life.
As you’re doing this, try not to think about you. Focus on other people.
It sounds weird, but usually, we get so wrapped up in our own thoughts, we forget how other people are doing around us.
And if you can ask other people questions, you’ll learn more about them and you might be able to relate to them more.
Anxiety can sometimes make you feel incredibly alone. And talking to other people doesn’t always seem like the right thing.
But, focusing your attention on others will create a stronger bond with you and other people. It will also give you a different perspective on what other people are dealing with.
Everyone has problems, fears, and insecurities. If you can learn more about other people close to you, you can start to see that you’re perfectly normal.
3. Practice Relaxation Methods
When you start to feel anxious, your heart begins to race and your breathing shortens. It’s partly why we go into panic mode.
Your body is so tensed up, you forget to breathe properly and you literally feel like you’re in danger. Yoga, meditation, and breathing are great ways to slow it all down.
Meditation isn’t for everyone, that’s why yoga might be a better solution because it allows you to fully focus on each movement.
Also, having a breathing regime to focus on when you have social anxiety can help calm you down.
The next time you feel anxious, take a step back.
Imagine a clock in your head coming to a stop. Everything around you is stopping for a second, allowing you to catch up.
Take deep, long breaths and focus on calming your body down. This will help you regain control over your reactions, and lessen your anxiety.
4. Set Achievable Goals
To overcome anxiety, it’s a good idea to set some realistic, S.M.A.R.T. goals.
Think about how your social anxiety is holding you back. Do you avoid doing something because it makes you too uncomfortable?
Are you sick of feeling scared of things that most people aren’t scared of? If you want to work on your anxiety, then write down some things you want to try that cause anxiety.
For me, I always wanted to go to the gym. But, thinking about trying to use the weight machines when I had no idea how scared me too much.
I didn’t want to look like an idiot. I was too worried about what other people would think of me.
Eventually, I forced myself to go and figure it out. It wasn’t easy, and at first, it was awkward. But, I looked around and saw that most people didn’t care what I was doing.
Once I realized this and kept going to the gym, my anxiety went away. Setting realistic goals for yourself and taking action can be a great way to overcome your social anxiety.
Related:
5. Remember, Social Anxiety Has Some Good to It
Anxiety doesn’t feel good a lot of the time, so finding any positives in it can be impossible.
But, it’s not all bad. Believing anxiety is only bad will make you feel worse for having it.
With anxiety comes a deeper understanding of yourself and other people. You’re more aware of things around you, like social cues, people’s emotions, and body language.
It’s almost like a superpower. Being hyper-aware is difficult because it’s easier to just not care.
But, you’re probably a really good friend that listens well and knows how to have a deeper, meaningful conversation.
Think about what good anxiety can bring and keep that in your mind. Anxiety doesn’t have to be so black & white.
6. Eliminate Safety Behaviors
Safety behaviors are what we use as a shield to protect us from anxiety.
Anxiety is unpleasant a lot of the time. It makes sense that you’d want to find something to make it a little easier to deal with.
But, safety behaviors are just a crutch that tricks you into thinking you’re “safe”.
And they only help for a small amount of time. They do nothing to get rid of the fears associated with anxiety.
And if you rely on a safety behavior to get you through anxious moments, you’ll never learn how to build the confidence to properly deal with anxiety on your own.
Some examples of safety behaviors are:
- Avoiding a harmless situation that makes you anxious
- Seeking constant reassurance from others that you’re doing ok
- Using a substance (like alcohol or drugs) to make a situation bearable
- Over-preparing for a situation so you can avoid anxiety from coming in
7. Stay Mindful
Always work on staying in the present moment.
Be aware of what is around you. Anxiety will take you to a completely different reality if you let it.
Practicing mindfulness is a great way to think about what is real, vs what is made up in your mind.
Try to take 10 minutes every day (preferably when you’re anxious) to take a step back, shut your eyes, and think about the now.
- What do you hear?
- What do you smell?
- What do you feel?
- Why are you feeling anxious?
- Is there any evidence that your worries are real?
Get a free copy of my mindfulness activities.
8. Let Go of Perfection
Perfection isn’t real. You can’t predict how every situation is going to go. Pleasing everyone isn’t possible.
Making mistakes in life is inevitable. And trying to avoid every mistake will make it so much harder to swallow when it does happen.
Perfectionism makes social anxiety worse because you’re always trying to be aware of everything.
Work on letting go of trying to be perfect.
This will allow you to accept yourself for who you are, flaws and all. It will take work to let go of those things, but it will allow you to relax more and enjoy your life more.
9. Don’t Let Your Fears Hold You Back
Once you let your fears stop you from doing things, you begin to make your anxiety stronger. I know how scary it is to do something when your fear is crippling.
Even if it’s something you really want to do, if you’re too scared to do it, you’ll come up with an excuse not to do it. Fear is like a bully.
Threatening something bad will happen to you if you don’t listen to it. Unless it really is a situation that is putting you in danger, the fear forming in your mind isn’t real.
The only way to truly overcome your anxiety is by not letting these fears hold you back, and stepping out of your comfort zone.
Doing things, despite how terrifying it feels.
When I finally decided to face my fears and go to the gym, my anxiety diminished. And that’s because when you’re in a fearful situation, at first it’s scary.
But, when you sit in it and look around long enough, your anxiety will fade. You get bored eventually, and are so used to being in that moment that it’s not scary anymore.
10. Talk to a Therapist
Social anxiety happens to pretty much everyone.
I’ve had moments where I just couldn’t deal with my anxious thoughts on my own.
Sometimes, you aren’t capable of handling it all by yourself. And that’s OK.
When you have no idea where to start, talking to a professional can help a lot. If you let someone guide you in the right direction, you’ll reduce your social anxiety faster.
It’s similar to taking a class to help teach you more about how to sew.
Therapy is about giving you the proper tools to know how to deal with anxiety. So that eventually, you will know what to do during those moments.
I know that it’s sometimes weird going in and talking to a therapist. That’s why I always recommend using BetterHelp.
BetterHelp matches you with a licensed therapist who has professional experience in teaching you how to get through social anxiety.
The cool part is you can connect with your therapist any time you need to.
If you have any questions throughout the week, you can just shoot them an email or a message, and they usually get back to you within a day or two.
When I used to go to in-person therapy, it was only once a week, which sucked when I really needed to talk to someone.
I would also sometimes forget what I needed to talk about, and end up remembering later and would have to wait another week to talk about it again.
BetterHelp is there for you when you really need it.
If you’re interested in learning more about BetterHelp, you can click here and get a free account.
10 Ways To Reduce Social Anxiety – Conclusion
It takes practice, but these clever ways to reduce social anxiety really can help you become more calm and confident in social situations. And the more you practice it, the less anxious you will become.
Do you have more questions about overcoming social anxiety? Leave them in the comments below!
Pin this!
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Nov 20, 2019 | Self-Improvement
Easy Ways to Start Living Your Life to the Fullest. All too often we try to do the bare minimum just to get by in life. And if you struggle with anxiety, you know this feeling well.
You just want to make it through the day. Living in survival mode is not the best way to live the rest of your life.
Sometimes it’s necessary, but it shouldn’t be the only way you decide to live. When you’re dealing with anxiety, you don’t have to give up everything you enjoy to manage it.
I get that it’s easier to just succumb to the strong feelings and thoughts inside of you. The ones that make you believe you don’t deserve anything good, and that you’re destined to suffer the rest of your life.
Easy Ways to Start Living Your Life to the Fullest
A lot of people believe they have to conquer anxiety and depression, making it disappear forever before they can finally enjoy their life.
This way of thinking can lead to a lot of disappointment because if you are prone to feeling anxiety, you will feel it again.
It just means you’re more aware of what’s going on in your life. Life will knock you down more times than you can count.
Sometimes it will leave you feeling very tired and unwilling to move forward.
But, you can choose how your life turns out. You deserve to have the life you’re always thinking about. The one you want but are too afraid to go after.
Too many people ignore how they really feel in order to do what they have to do to survive.
They aren’t living a life they particularly like, but they take the safe route because it makes the most sense. And they don’t want to let other people down either.
This causes a lot of distress and unhappiness when you choose to ignore what it is that you truly want. When you always live in survival mode just trying to get by. There is sooo much more to life than that.
Think about these things when you’re feeling anxious as a reminder that there is a purpose to your life. And when you start filling it with meaningful things, you’ll start to thrive.
As you think of your own things that make your life fulfilling, tune in to the latest HerPaperRoute Podcast episode, which illustrates 30 easy things you can do, to live a more fulfilling life.
More Tips For Living Life To The Fullest
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Nov 14, 2019 | Self-Confidence, Self-Improvement
Do you have anxiety at the gym? It’s very common. Anywhere you look when searching for how to reduce anxiety, getting in a good workout is always on the list.
I’ve even mentioned it a few times here on my own blog. Exercising is a great way to feel better about yourself.
But, if you have anxiety, you know how difficult it is to get up and work out. There are so many mental roadblocks thrown in our way whenever we want to do something.
Anxiety makes you worry about every possible scenario that could go wrong, and you’re just left feeling confused and unmotivated to try.
Working out at home is one thing but getting to the gym is a whole other story. Here are some tips for how to deal with anxiety at the gym.
How To Deal With Anxiety At The Gym
I have gym anxiety, so trying out an exercise I’ve never done before in front of a bunch of strangers at the gym is similar to standing in front of them naked.
- I am so uncomfortable to the point I can’t even focus on the workout.
- I don’t want to look like an idiot in front of the experienced people.
- And there have been times when I really struggled through a workout, just waiting for it to be over so I could go home.
This made wanting to work out very difficult. I come from a family who loves to exercise, so I feel like I should be able to do it with no problem.
All of my siblings have done triathlons, marathons, and IronMans. My dad climbs mountains like Mt. Blanc and Mt. Kilimanjaro, and he just got done climbing Mt. Denali.
Meanwhile, there have been days when I can’t even bring myself to get to the freaking gym. But, that’s just a part of what anxiety does.
Giving yourself a break and taking baby steps is the best way to make progress.
I am able to go to the gym by myself now and am okay with it. I still have mental roadblocks, but I work through them. And I’ll show you how you can, too!
1. Figure Out Your Reason Why
Exercising is a great way to deal with anxiety, but you have to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.
A lot of people like to do it to look better and lose weight. And sometimes that can motivate you at the beginning.
But, it can also lead to a distorted view of exercise. You don’t have to do it just to lose weight.
Determining your reason behind it will help you stick with it. Doing it to maintain anxiety is a great reason, and as a bonus, you’ll get into shape in the process.
2. Take it Slow
As you start to exercise, don’t force yourself to do too much at once. Sometimes, just waking up earlier and putting on workout clothes is enough.
I know it might seem weird but take it as slow as you need to. Set mini goals that push you in the right direction.
Then, you can eventually work up to going to the gym for 15 minutes. After that, you can push for 30 minutes. That way, you don’t throw yourself into the fire and never want to go back.
3. Make Sure to Challenge Yourself Mentally
When you have anxiety, there isn’t a moment where you don’t constantly have to challenge your thinking. Otherwise, it can eat you up.
So, as you make progress towards exercise, focus more on building up your mental strength. Instead of physical strength, at least for a while.
Work through the thoughts you have about working out. What prevents you from trying in the first place?
- Is it intimidation at the gym?
- Feeling creepy guys staring at you?
- Lacking the motivation to get outside?
Pay attention to the thoughts that hold you back, then work on those every single day. That’s why starting small is important.
You first have to prove to your brain that exercising isn’t as bad as you’re making it up in your head.
Take 10 minutes a day exercising or walking outside and see how you feel. Then slowly progress from there.
4. Practice Mindfulness at the Gym
Anxiety at the gym usually stems from being unfamiliar with the equipment and what you’re supposed to do with it.
Going to the gym when you have no idea what you’re doing is terrifying. So many people are there, and if you catch them staring at you it can feel uncomfortable.
I go to the gym often by myself. And I have a lot of anxiety. At first, it wasn’t easy, but after I worked on mindfulness and just going all the time, it got better.
Practice staying in the present moment and remember why you’re there in the first place.
Think about how your body feels during each exercise. Listen to the music in your headphones and focus on what is right in front of you.
Work on letting go of the fear that everyone is staring at you. Most people have the same worries at the gym, and it’s overwhelming at first. But, people usually only stare because they don’t know what else to do.
When I run on the treadmill, I never know where to look. So, I ended up looking around at all the people. I’m not judging, it’s just that I literally don’t know where else to put my eyes.
5. Spend 10 Minutes Being an Observer
When you first get to the gym and your anxiety is high, try to look for a treadmill or elliptical that’s in the back of the room.
As you get a warm-up in, you can observe what everyone else is doing. This helps give you a better idea if people are actually staring at you, or if it’s all in your head.
You can also look around and see that most people are in the same boat as you. Some people just like to stay on the treadmill the whole time and observe people.
Others are so focused on their own workout, that they don’t even know you’re there. This can help you to stop caring about what other people think. And just focus on doing your own thing.
6. Do What You Enjoy
If you hate running but do it only because it burns more calories, then stop! I hate playing basketball because I suck at it. That’s not what I’m going to do to get exercise.
Think about the type of exercise you do enjoy, or what you want to try. There are so many different ways to exercise. I’m sure you can find something that interests you.
- Even if you haven’t tried it before, it’s worth a shot to try out.
Exercising becomes a lot easier when you actually enjoy and look forward to your workouts. If you hate getting your heart pumping, try yoga or Pilates. Or get a 30-minute walk in each day.
This way you can reduce your anxiety and feel excited about adding it to your daily routine.
6 Ways To Beat Anxiety At The Gym – Conclusion
Anxiety at the gym is completely normal and very common. I completely understand feeling anxious about exercising. When you have a high-anxiety day, doing anything feels like the equivalent of climbing Mt. Everest.
Some days, you will not want to work out at all, and that’s OK! What you can do is stop beating yourself up so much.
Forgive yourself on the days when your anxiety takes over. Progress with anything is not always a straight line.
Sometimes progress is one step forward and two steps back. There will be days that will be harder and days that will be amazing.
The most important step is to just keep moving forward. Even when you’ve taken two steps back. Just don’t give up, and you will see that your anxiety at the gym will lessen over time.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Oct 31, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
How to get rid of negative thinking so you can live a better life. Negative thoughts create an alternative world in your head. They are defeating and can convince of pretty much anything.
Negative thinking can and will take over your life if you allow it. But, there are ways to push past it and see the good in things.
Changing your mindset might sound impossible, but it’s actually quite easy.
How To Get Rid Of Negative Thinking
Imagine what your life would be like without doubt or fear preventing you from trying new things. Where you decide to take a chance on things despite the outcome. Because you aren’t afraid of making the wrong decision.
And even if you did end up making a horrible mistake, you wouldn’t resort to feeling like a total failure who isn’t capable of anything. Instead, you’d be upset, but it wouldn’t take over your whole day. You’d learn from it and move on.
This is a rational way of thinking. What makes it complicated is the fact that working on your mental health isn’t deemed as important in society.
We are all way too focused on making more money, buying new things, and distracting ourselves from our thoughts. We also weren’t given the proper tools to know how to handle our thoughts, when they get out of control.
That doesn’t mean that it’s overly complicated, though. It just means you’ll have to make the decision to make your mental health a priority and work on it every day. Just like brushing your teeth or working out.
Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness, But Having More Money Does Help Boost Mental Wellness
They say money doesn’t buy happiness. But as someone who used to have very little, and now earns quite a lot, I can honestly say that having a safety net of savings and regular income coming in absolutely gives one peace of mind.
Making more money does help increase positive thinking, so if you are looking for ways to increase your income, read this: How to make more money, on your own terms.
1. Start by being more aware of your thoughts
We have thousands and thousands of thoughts in a single day. Some are totally random, some are intentional, and some are conscious.
Like when you take a look at yourself in the mirror, a quick thought might cross your mind before you even register it.
It’s so second nature that you might not even realize you’re having a negative thought. To stop the negative thoughts from creeping in, pay attention to when they are happening.
Do they happen in front of the mirror? In a large group of people? Around your family? At work? Don’t let those negative thoughts pass by without any recognition.
They secretly make you feel bad, without you even getting a say in it. That’s the power of your inner critic, she’s a sneaky one.
When you figure out when those negative thoughts are happening, that’s when you can start stopping them in their tracks, by knowing when they come around. Break down those thoughts into bite-sized pieces.
If you hear them when you’re looking in the mirror, you can work on quieting them by being more aware when you look in the mirror.
2. Stop Giving So Much Value to Negative Thoughts
Every single person out there has negative thoughts. We all have an inner critic. Whether or not you choose to listen to yours is up to you.
You can still have negative thoughts and not let them control what you do. The less value you give the bad thoughts, the more they just become thoughts.
When you have negative thoughts, instead of letting them freak you out, why not just look at them for what they are? Let them pass by like a cloud and observe what they are telling you.
Let’s say your thoughts are saying you shouldn’t go out with this guy because it probably won’t work out. Unless there are red flags from the start, give it a shot anyway.
3. Rationalize Your Thoughts
Negative thoughts don’t provide much value. They just convince you to feel terrible, instead of allowing you to feel happy.
I don’t really think there is any good that comes out of negative thinking. So, when you start feeling negative, work on rationalizing those thoughts.
If you don’t feel very positive about where your life is heading and think “I am such a loser, my life isn’t going anywhere and I might as well get used to feeling like this.”
Ask why you feel that way. What is causing those bad thoughts? Are they helping you in any way? What are you making up in your head, that is most likely not true? And then think about how those thoughts aren’t doing anything but making you feel like crap.
When you can choose to rationalize those thoughts and say:
It feels like my life isn’t going anywhere just because I am learning how to figure things out. It’s a process, and some days are harder than others. It doesn’t mean I won’t get my life figured out, it just means I have to give myself a break and continue to do my best. My negative thoughts only make the situation worse, when I could be working on encouraging myself to keep moving forward.
Try to talk to yourself like you would your best friend. If your friend is feeling bad about their life, think about what you’d tell them to make them feel better.
But, in this case, do it to yourself! To get rid of negative thinking, stop those bad thoughts in their tracks and give yourself a pep talk.
4. Practice Positive Thinking
I know what it’s like when I am feeling extra negative and people around me tell me to “just change your thinking” or “just be happy”. As if it’s as easy as flipping a switch.
I’m not here to tell you to change your thinking right now and “just be positive”. It’s, unfortunately, not that easy. It takes time to get rid of negative thinking. The way we are programmed to think and believe can be engrained in us over years and years.
We develop habits in our ways of thinking, and it’s difficult to try to change that within a day. And, the more you believe a negative thought to be true, the harder it is to let go of that thought.
What you can do is slowly practice bringing in more positive thoughts. Start small, and work on it daily. Tips on how to practice positive thinking:
- Come up with a short affirmation that’s easy to repeat like, “I am grateful for my life”, “I am calm”, “I’m awesome”, or “I love myself”. Keeping it short makes it easier to remember.
- Avoid negative words in your positive talk. Instead of saying “I won’t be afraid today”, say “I will be brave today”
- Do what feels right. Don’t say positive words that go against what you truly believe. That’s why keeping it simple and doing it on your terms will stick better because it’s on your terms. If you don’t fully believe in an affirmation, skip it and find one that does work for you.
Related: How To Develop Growth Mindset To Strengthen Your Confidence
Be sure to download your FREE mental wellness kit! You will find all of the ebooks pictured above and more! Just let me know where to send your access link by entering your email address below:
5. Stop the Black or White Thinking
Do you find that you end up using extreme words to describe negative things in your life?
Words like always, never, every time, hate. When you get in an argument with a friend and say they “always make you feel terrible about yourself”.
This is black-or-white thinking. There is no in-between, which leaves very little room for flexibility. It’s why negative thoughts start to form because there isn’t room for anything else.
Black-and-white thinking isn’t how the world works. There are so many possibilities for one thing, and believing there is only one way to do something is very limiting. It causes stress and anxiety and you get lost in the cycle of negative thoughts.
Instead, try practicing gray thinking. This opens up your mind for more optimism. For a quick and easy exercise, practice finding the middle between these words:
- Black— White
- Near— Far
- Young—Old
Think of these words and what comes in between those two. Between black and white are all of the other colors that are possibly out there.
- You don’t need to get rid of negative thinking all by yourself. Oftentimes it helps to vent to someone. You can get a free trial of Betterhelp and chat with a therapist anytime, via this special link.
Between near and far is always the middle. And there are many different terms for people who aren’t young or old. Middle-aged. And even still, being young can be anything from a newborn to 45. Being old can be anywhere from 25 to 100, depending on how you look at things.
Do you see how black-or-white thinking isn’t very logical? With so many things that come in between, only focusing on the negative isn’t very realistic.
6 Ways To Get Rid Of Negative Thinking – Conclusion
No matter what, when it comes to figuring out how to get rid of negative thinking, remember this. The next time you find a negative thought floating in, try to think about the gray areas instead of the extremes.
For example, let’s say you interviewed for a job and never got a callback.
- Black-and-white thinking is “I did terribly during the interview and they hated me.”
- Grey thinking is “There are so many reasons why they didn’t call me back, and I might not ever know the real reason. It could have been anything from they were too busy to tell me I didn’t get it, or they thought I was a good fit but they interviewed someone else who was even more qualified.”
You don’t instantly have to go to the worst thoughts in your head. That’s self-sabotage and it ruins your confidence. Learn more about how to stop self-sabotaging behavior.
To learn more about overcoming negative thoughts and growing into a positive mindset, connect with me via the uplifting Refine Your Life Purpose And Wellness Program.
I hope you found these tips for ways to get rid of negative thinking. If you did, please use the share buttons below or at the top of this page to share it across your social media, so that someone else can enjoy it too.
Before you go, remember to download your FREE mental wellness kit!
