A lot of where we are in life has to do with our own personal levels of confidence and self-esteem. Self-esteem is simply confidence in one's worth and abilities. When we are low in self-esteem, we tend to doubt our abilities and question our value. However, when self-esteem is high, a person feels empowered and capable of having whatever their heart desires.
It's no secret that our life is a result of what we do. And, our actions are a result of how we think and how we feel. Moreover, when someone doesn't think highly of themselves, there is a tendency to settle for a life of mediocrity. To be clear, living in mediocrity has less to do with living a minimalist life and more to do with settling for things you don't truly want out of fear.
It's important for us to know what we want for ourselves, what makes us fulfilled. For example, you may dream of having your very own hair salon. However, you may also struggle with low self-esteem and self-doubt. Thus, out of fear, you don't pursue that dream. Instead, you choose to settle for something you deem a bit more “practical”.
All women should understand that confidence has the ability to lift the weight off your shoulders and make the unattainable look tangible. What appears impossible starts to look very probable as we begin to feel more capable in our abilities.
Such confidence and self-assurance should be instilled from childhood to ensure a very healthy, productive, and self-sufficient, adult life. However, such experiences don't always pan out that way especially when dealing with generational trauma. In this case, a scarcity mindset and low self-esteem are things that can be passed down.
While we can't select all of the experiences we have in life, we can surely choose how we want to respond to these experiences.
To improve self-esteem, we must have self-accountability. If you’re a woman looking to boost your confidence and self-esteem, it’s important to understand the signs of low self-esteem, the importance of having confidence, and tips to help you boost your confidence.
Where Low Self-Esteem Comes From
A struggle with low self-esteem can come from many different places. Here are a few examples.
Toxic Dating Relationships
Toxic relationships have the ability to deteriorate our self-esteem. Such relationships entail abusive language, physical abuse, betrayal, trust issues, and co-dependency. None of these things exemplify love nor is it healthy to entertain.
Perhaps we didn't hear the encouraging words we needed to hear from our parents. This lack of approval and recognition is something that can stick with us for a long time. Without encouragement and support, one can grow up with a lot of self-doubt, questioning their ability to accomplish certain tasks.
Childhood Abuse & Neglect
Childhood abuse and neglect are major factors that contribute to low self-esteem. While a large part of how others treat us is dependent upon how we treat ourselves, it wasn't always like this. As children growing up, how others treated us determined how we'd treat ourselves including ourselves. In cases of childhood abuse and neglect, a child may internalize this treatment as something normal.
When we're younger, we are especially sensitive to the harsh words others project onto us. It is why children often internalize these harsh words. In the fragile mind of a growing child, these words often solidify as belief systems when left to fester.
But bullying can happen in our adult lives too such as in the workplace.
Constantly being around negative people is a sure way to minimize one's self-esteem. The subconscious mind is like a sponge that soaks up everything it hears and sees. When around people who complain about hardship all the time, we are more likely to share these feelings and victim mindset.
Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to another can make us question our worth. This can be especially dangerous when aspiring to have things that don’t make you happy. It's like trying to squeeze into a shoe that isn't your size and then crying about it. We are all different. Avoidance of acknowledging one's uniqueness is one way to diminish self-esteem.
Living for others is not only disingenuous to one's self but it is also frustrating. Everyone has their own ideas regarding success, happiness, and fulfillment. And, it doesn't always look the same. When we try to meet other peoples' expectations of us, we find ourselves living a life that isn't authentic. Instead, it becomes burdensome trying to maintain a facade.
Issues of low self-esteem usually begin at a tender age. Traumatic events can trigger these things. For example, children often blame themselves when witnessing parental conflicts such as fighting or divorce. Many kids believe these occurrences are at their own fault. This places a major burden on a child where they feel like they're the root cause of the turmoil and chaos.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
Here are some of the common signs of low self-esteem:
- Avoidance of Trying New Things
- Feeling Lonely and Unwanted
- Fear of Failure
- Unable to Accept Compliments
- Self-Deprecating Humor
- Comparing One's Self to Others
- Staying in Unhealthy Relationships
- Anxiety and/or Depression
If you recognize these signs and symptoms in yourself, the following tips can help you take steps towards improving your self-esteem and growing confidence.
Self-Esteem Tips for Women
Guilt, resentment, and regret are all feelings that carry a heavy weight. Boost confidence and improve self-esteem by forgiving yourself first. We should forgive ourselves for the mistakes we've made in life and choose to do better. These few decisions do not define us. It is what we choose to do afterward that is a true depiction of who we are.
Identify the Source of Pain
Where is the pain? By identifying the source of our issues with confidence, we can begin to forgive others and forgive ourselves. Knowing this information is key to understanding self-defeatist habits and thought processes.
Animosity and grudges towards others are also burdensome. It requires a lot of energy to hold onto conflict. Forgive others to relieve yourself of that weight. The act of forgiveness frees us to accept better things into our lives without self-sabotaging good opportunities.
Self-love is a belief and lifestyle which prioritizes self-improvement. By practicing self-love every day, we see our lives transform as our self-perception shifts into a more loving place. Self-love makes us more compassionate towards ourselves. Examples of self-love activities include the tips listed here to boost confidence and improve self-esteem.
Recite Positive Affirmations
Replace Self-Deprecation with Self-Empowerment by reciting positive affirmations. As previously stated, the subconscious mind is like a sponge. It can also be seen as a garden. Women should water their minds with loving words and positive affirmative statements. Negative affirmations act as weeds that stifle the growth of those beautiful flowers in your garden. By affirming happiness, abundance, and success, weeds of doubt, negativity, and limitation begin to melt away.
Redefine What Happiness Means to You
Live for yourself. Let go of the expectations others have of you. It isn't your responsibility to fit into the mold other people make for you but to create a mold of your own. Happiness to one person may mean being a successful doctor that makes 6 figures while others find fulfillment in living a minimalist life. It's up to you to define what happiness and success mean to you.
Create a Gratitude List
Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for. This could be your family, friends, job, pet, etc. Feeling gratitude makes us feel more fulfilled. It's okay to want more. However, obsessing over what you don't have contributes to feelings of low self-esteem and not feeling good enough. A gratitude list helps shift this focus into a much healthier place.
Mindfulness meditation shows us that we aren't our thoughts nor our emotions. We become observers of these things from an objective stance. After doing mindfulness meditation long enough, we notice certain patterns in our thinking. Thus, we're able to identify and diffuse triggers, taking our power back.
Remove Toxic People
Remove negative people from your life. Hanging around toxic people is like having a heavy gray cloud following you around. These individuals can even be people we consider our friends and family. Such people may minimize your accomplishments and discourage you from going after your dreams. So, it's best to keep these people at bay.
Get a Plant
Loneliness is one feeling that accompanies low self-esteem. Having a few household plants helps to alleviate this feeling. It's nice to surround yourself with life and vibrancy. This acclimates the mind into a healthier space where you don't feel so lonely. Taking care of these plants will also be therapeutic by giving you a much-needed sense of accomplishment.
Invest in Your Dreams
Acknowledge your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. All women must know they are deserving of manifesting their dreams. Exercising, eating healthy, and educating yourself are all ways to invest in yourself. Self-knowledge is a wonderful investment. If you want to start a business, invest your time, energy, and money into researching and financing this endeavor.
It's important for women to improve self-esteem and boost confidence. High self-esteem immediately removes limitations and blockages. It feels like wearing a cape and feeling like you're capable of moving mountains. When you're in this space, you feel unmovable, unshakable, and unstoppable. These self-esteem tips for women will help those women struggling with their confidence by providing an effective guideline to follow.