Where to find happiness? It’s an age-old question and the simple answer is: Happiness is found within yourself. The type of happiness that lasts and is truly fulfilling is within you and is not dependent on others.
What more can be satisfying than the chance to enjoy life at its best. A good life is rarely a luxurious one. More than the possession of material things, a good life must be one wherein you laugh more, cry less, and feel gratitude.
The truth about people is that they come and go. Nobody stays with you permanently, including your spouse or children. They all have their own lives and you cannot always tie these people to you. The same is true with material things, titles, power, and events that make you happy. While these things can make you happy, the happiness associated with these things is only temporary. If you want that satisfying, no-guilt kind of happiness, you need to look within yourself.
Be a champion of your own life
One of the many reasons we find it hard to be happy is that we tend to sabotage ourselves. When something good happens, we love to overthink and discount the fact that we deserve it. In the back of our minds, we question if we're allowed to be this happy or start thinking that our happiness will come with a price.
You see, tomorrow is never certain. No one knows for sure if we'll be here, so we might as well make the most of what's today. Enjoy and bask in your happiness without feeling guilty. Be a champion of your life because happiness, contentment, and satisfaction are an inside job — nobody can do it for you.
Work on your goals
Some people engage the services of a life coach to help them get on track. While this is helpful, remember that a life coach can only help you if you also supply the discipline and the burning desire to achieve your goals. They may be working closely with you, but nothing will happen if you refuse to help yourself. Again, this is another classic example of the reality that you are the captain of your own ship — the master of your destiny.
When you say desire, it's not just “wanting” to change something. It takes self-discipline. This means that you must be committed to yourself and your own goals and that no matter how challenging your circumstances are, you won't fall back to your old destructive patterns.
While a life coach can help you achieve positive results in your life, it's you who will carry much of the work. You have to break your old patterns. You have to move out of your comfort zone. You have to commit to change. It's like working out in the gym with a fitness coach. Even if your coach plans your workout and fitness goals, you will do most of the work because it's your body. The plan will only prosper if the subject is willing, committed, and does the work.
Break the negative mindset chain
When you ask people if they consider themselves successful, only a handful will answer that they are. Why? Because most are caught in the negative belief system that success is hard to earn and that they're not worthy of success. These negative thought processes will manifest themselves in your life results.
You may wonder why despite your effort, you still can't get that promotion. You may also wonder why even if you spend more time working, you're not earning enough money. If you find yourself in these situations, remember to work on your belief system first.
You can start working on your negative thoughts by turning on your “flashlight of awareness” and you will then see how much potential you are hiding because of your limiting belief systems. This is the first step in claiming your birthright to success.
When you were younger, your parents might have unknowingly conditioned you to limit yourself. For example, when you were trying to reach for the cup in the cupboard, your mother stopped you because you might fall and get hurt. The motive might be good, but this harmless act can lead a grown person to think that he shouldn't try to do risky things because he might get hurt.
Help yourself identify these negative thoughts and transform them into positive ones. Now, instead of saying “you can't,” you'll confidently claim that you can.
Be accountable for your own life, decisions, and results
Another reason why people can't find happiness within and by themselves is that they love to point fingers. They blame everyone except themselves. You see, if you take control of your life, it's less burdensome and less complicated. You act for yourself and not to please others. You also become more attached to your plans because you know you'll benefit the most from your successes.
The sad reality is that people love to complain. If something doesn't turn in their favor, they blame everyone else except themselves. If you ask yourself why you're not living your dream life, you may catch yourself saying any of these common excuses:
- That your parents are poor, and you never had the means;
- That your parents weren't able to send you to a great school;
- That your professor in college was unfair and inconsiderate; or
- That life didn't open opportunities for you.
You blamed everyone else except yourself. Maybe the only reason you're not living your dream life is that you keep making excuses and refuse to take action. This can be a source of resentment too. Because you think someone's controlling your life, you rebel against them and suffer the consequences miserably.
If you supply the desire and commitment to change, you can point yourself in the right direction. By realizing what you could have done better, you take responsibility and work towards positive change. You make your goals, plot action plans to achieve these goals, and cheer yourself as you work your way to your dream life.
Understand relationships with the people in your life
Resentment, disappointment, and hatred happen if people misunderstand how other people show and communicate their feelings. If you find that many of your issues with other people tend to lean on your own negative perceptions rather than the basic facts. Just because we perceive someone has wronged us or does not care – doesn’t mean we are always right. Often we twist things into a negative light due to our own insecurities. It is for our own happiness and successful relationships that we explore possible misunderstandings and clarify with others to fact-check our interpretations of actions.
By realizing these barriers, you relieve yourself of the burden to try and fit others' perceptions and ideas of things in the universe. You also hate less. You no longer get disappointed quickly and become more tolerant of the people in your life. Instead of spending your time and energy on these negative emotions, you let them go because you now understand it's not because of you. At the end of the day, you learn to be genuinely happy and at peace with the people in your life, your thoughts, and yourself.
We can conclude that happiness is found within. We are responsible for our happiness and no one else can be our source of happiness alone. Sometimes, we chase people, titles, and events, hoping to find happiness in them. After a while, we realize that the happiness they bring is fleeting.
We have the power to be happy regardless of what is happening around us. We can be happy despite what other people think of us.