How To Break Out Of Victim Mentality & Own Your Happiness. At some point or another, we all feel like victims of our own lives.
Things feel out of control sometimes, and it's easy to think the world is out to get you when everything seems to go wrong. Blaming others when things do go wrong is what seems to make the most sense. It's an easy way to protect yourself.
Unfortunately, blaming everyone else instead of taking responsibility means you will push everyone away.
Then eventually, you truly won't have anyone else to blame but yourself. The victim mentality is a vicious cycle that never stops unless you put an end to it.
At some point, you’ll have to take responsibility for the things that happen in your life. And for the decisions which you’ve made.
It's the only way to move past the problems and to learn how to trust yourself.
That way you will know how to get through the tough times, without feeling like the world is out to get you.
You'll know how to solve the problems life throws at you, instead of trying so hard to avoid them. This will keep the relationships around you strong, and your confidence high.
How to Break Out Of Victim Mentality & Own Your Happiness
1. Make Better Decisions
Let’s say you are a people pleaser. You hate saying no to people, so you end up saying yes to almost everything. But, you want to be a nice person and think you can handle the load.
This is a result of bad decision making. Instead of taking a step back and listening to what you want and need, you are doing what everyone else wants.
The result? You start blaming everyone else for the stress they have caused you.
Or maybe you just generally make decisions without thinking them through. You have to pay rent but end up spending all your money on clothes. At some point, you’re going to have to make better decisions about your life.
This starts with setting boundaries with people.
People who don’t see themselves as the victim take responsibilities for their decisions. And they think through their decisions before making them.
This means they are confident in sticking to them, even if they end up being wrong. If they make the wrong decision, they learn from it instead of dwelling on it.
2. Get Rid of the Excuses
Creating excuses is really just a way of hiding your mistakes. And to avoid taking the blame.
Excuses allow you to hide away from your problems, instead of facing them. That’s because it’s embarrassing to admit when we’re wrong. We hate feeling like we messed up.
When you find yourself coming up with a reason to why you messed up, just own it. Admit that you messed up and say you will try to work on it in the future.
It won’t be easy at first, because defending yourself is like a knee-jerk reaction. But, when you own up to a mistake you don’t have to say much.
- Just say “Ok, I screwed up. How can I fix this?”
Instead of spending twenty minutes coming up with an excuse and pushing away the awkwardness.
People will respect you a lot more when you own up to your mistakes. And, you’ll actually want to avoid making that mistake again, which will prevent those problems from happening in the future.
3. Work on getting rid of the negativity in your life
Take a look at your life. Are you in a relationship with someone who takes advantage of you?
Or are you in a job that sucks your soul dry, leaving you feeling miserable and unworthy of having a good life?
Constant negativity in your life is where the victim mentality thrives. And it’s hard to take care of yourself and work on your problems if you’re surrounded by it.
When it feels like others don’t appreciate you, you’ll start to feel like you don’t matter. This is a reflection on other people, not you.
- You are in control of your own life.
Get rid of the people who don’t appreciate you for who you are, and who just take a lot without giving you anything. If you’re at a job that is messing with your mentality, you have to do something about it.
Believe me, I know what it’s like to be at a job that makes you feel like dirt.
The power of needing money to live a comfortable life becomes too strong sometimes. But, sacrificing your mental health is not an option.
You have to trust that you can pull yourself out of a bad situation, and that you’ll do whatever it takes to have a better life for yourself.
- The longer you stay in a negative situation, the more your victim mentality with fester and grow.
Make a list of things in your life that don’t bring you happiness, and ask yourself how you can get rid of those things.
Think about how you want your life to be, in the best possible way. Do you want a healthy relationship with someone who loves you? A job that makes you actually want to get up in the morning? The ability to travel and explore the world?
Then start planning for those things. Stop thinking you don’t deserve what you want, because you definitely do! It just starts with you believing in it.
Even on those days where it just doesn’t seem possible.
4. Look Inward Instead of Outward
Feeling like the victim means you’re constantly blaming other people, making excuses for yourself, and self-sabotaging.
It's a defense mechanism to avoid dealing with your problems. But, you have to look inward instead of expecting any outside force to change you.
Remember, playing the victim is easy. Actually looking inward and facing your own issues head on? That’s terrifying.
You have to self-reflect or else it will always be you against the world. It’s how you can solve the problem.
Ask yourself why you choose to blame people for your own mistakes? Dig deep and reflect on your life. What decisions have you made that caused you to want to play the victim?
Maybe you secretly enjoy feeling like the victim and having others feel sorry for you. But, eventually, people stop feeling sorry. And then you’re left feeling pretty shitty about your life without anyone around to complain to.
Everyone gets crap thrown at them every once in a while. You're no different than anyone else you see. Everyone struggles. But, the people with a strong mentality know how to look inwards, and face the issues in their life.
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5. Work on Building up Your Confidence
If you were confident, you wouldn’t feel like a victim all the time. Self-confidence is where strength comes from.
So, practice building up your self-confidence, and taking care of yourself. The victim mentality can stir up negative thoughts in your head, making you believe you're not worthy enough.
The best way to combat this thinking is by leaning into the uncomfortable moments, and being kind to yourself.
Once you're on your own side, you can learn how to solve problems.
Building up confidence means you learn about how to overcome mentality roadblocks.
You try harder, explore more, and live a happier life. And, nothing compares to the attraction that comes with confidence.
It’s all about believing in yourself, no matter what life throws at you. And facing it head on.
6. Stop Expecting the Worst to Happen
As a victim, you are just waiting for the next ball to drop. So you can say “I told you so”. But, you know what ends up happening?
People start calling you a Debbie Downer. Because, yes, shit happens. We all know this.
- If you are constantly saying something bad is going to happen, it eventually will.
That’s just how life is. Waiting around for it to happen? That’s no way to live life. You have to practice seeing the good in things, even if it’s really hard.
You can start doing things in spite of what you might think the outcome is. Because you can’t always predict how a situation is going to go.
It might suck, or it might be totally unexpected. And there is really no way to know unless you give it a shot.
You can be skeptical to avoid getting burned, but don’t stop trying new things. Because you will always be surprised at the outcome, and the more you try things, the less skeptical you will become.
You might feel stuck in a victim mentality, but it’s not permanent. You can change if you really want to! And if you’re reading about how to get out of it, that means you are open to change.
Which means you’re already getting rid of the negativity and ready to change your life for the better.
If you are having trouble building your confidence or getting rid of the victim mentality, have a look at A Course In Gorgeous.
This course teaches you how to finally become someone who truly loves themselves and allows love to naturally come into their life.
The days of playing the victim and self-sabotage will be over when you are finished with the program.