Feeling anxious? Let’s figure out how you can start feeling like yourself again.
Decisions.
Most people make decisions by adding more to their life.
- I must do this…
- I must do that..
- If I can just do xyz, my life will be better…
But take a step back for a second. If we dig into the word decision, we learn it’s a Latin word that means to cut off. And if you think about it, that makes sense.
Why? Well, the closely related word incision means something similar: the action or process of cutting into something.
With that in mind, in order to reduce and even eliminate our anxiety, the first step is to make a decision to remove (or ‘cut off’) the triggers that may be causing it to creep up on us in the first place.
However, we’re all different, so what causes anxiety for one person may not affect another. As you learn more about yourself and what sets off your anxious thoughts, focus on which habits to stop, both to ease anxiety right now and to prevent it down the road. It starts with recognizing the habits you’ve grown used to and choosing to change them.
Here are 10 common habits that can increase anxiety, along with ways to start putting an end to them today.
1. Avoidance
If you take only one thing from this post, let it be this: Avoiding what makes you anxious tends to leave you feeling more anxious. Steering clear of what’s right in front of you gives anxious thoughts exactly what they want. It encourages you to isolate yourself and overlook signs that you’re struggling or need help.
Some common examples of avoidance include:
- Drinking at a party to make social situations more tolerable
- Scrolling on your phone in public to avoid eye contact
- Calling in sick on the day you have to give a speech
Isolation makes it harder to build strong relationships, and it makes reaching out for support harder too, right when you need it most.
2. Trying to Fight Your Anxiety
Your anxiety doesn’t have to be your best friend, but it doesn’t have to be your ultimate nemesis either. You can find a happy medium where you get through the day without a panic attack or breakdown.
Instead of battling anxious thoughts and feelings, get curious about what’s causing them. Face your anxiety with calm determination and let it know you’re ready to move through your day anyway.
3. Overthinking
Overthinking drives a great deal of anxiety, especially for people pleasers who care deeply about what others think. Many of us replay each conversation of the day in our heads when we get home from work.
Mindfulness can help. It slows your thoughts and helps you stay in the present moment instead of worrying about things you can’t control. You learn to accept your thoughts rather than fight them all the time, which calms you down and reduces anxiety. Guided apps like the InnaPeace meditation program are an easy way to begin. And check out these free mindfulness activities for anxiety if you need some inspiration.
4. Not Taking Care of Yourself
Anxiety often follows a cycle. Worry and stress build, constant anxiety leads to fatigue and burnout, and once you’re burned out, self-care tends to go out the window. We reach for comfort food and do whatever we can to get by, ignoring our own needs in the process.
It’s time to put a stop to this! You’re the one who can break this cycle. Start by deciding to put yourself first and making a daily commitment to do something that benefits you. Even a small act, like a short walk, a nourishing meal, or a few quiet minutes with a journal, counts. A beautiful journal or planner from Self-Love Rainbow can make that daily habit feel special.
5. Drinking Too Much Caffeine
A good cup of coffee is one of life’s pleasures, and you can still enjoy it. Try limiting yourself to one or two cups a day, preferably early in the morning.
Too much caffeine, especially later in the day, can disrupt your sleep schedule, and a lack of sleep can raise anxiety levels.
6. Self-sabotage
Stop tearing yourself down! Having anxiety doesn’t make you a failure. Let go of the need to be perfect and quiet that inner critic.
Whenever a negative voice tells you you’re not good enough, answer it. For every critical thought, challenge yourself to find something good about yourself. This helps even out the playing field.
7. Drinking Alcohol
Alcohol is best saved for special occasions like birthdays or holidays. It can affect your mood and sleep, and it can make anxiety feel worse the next day. If you take medication for anxiety or depression, talk with your doctor or pharmacist about how alcohol may interact with it.
By limiting your alcohol intake, you’ll likely wake up feeling refreshed rather than groggy and irritable.
8. Falling into a Negative Thinking Trap
Mental health professionals call this pattern “rumination,” which means repeating negative thoughts in your mind. These thoughts turn into problems that never get solved, and constant negativity can leave you feeling like a victim in your own life or unworthy of good things.
Rumination also fuels anxiety, because you start worrying about the outcome of a situation before it even happens. It’s a tough pattern to overcome, so don’t expect it to disappear overnight. Talking with a licensed therapist can help you work through these thoughts and move forward. Talkspace and Online-Therapy.com offer support from the comfort of home.
9. Black-and-White Thinking
Black-and-white thinking says everything is all or nothing, with no in-between. This pattern feeds procrastination, because it tells you that everything must be perfect or it isn’t worth trying. When you live with anxiety, finding the in-between matters.
Look for the gray areas in your day and practice flexible expectations. That doesn’t mean settling for less. It means giving yourself room to do well without demanding perfection. If you’re studying for a big test, aim high while reminding yourself that a strong result is still a success. If change makes you uneasy, accepting that change will happen is a gray area worth practicing.
10. Assuming
Assumptions hurt everyone involved. When you assume your boyfriend wants to take you out to dinner, but he assumes you’ll cook dinner at home, a fight is getting ready to boil.
The best cure for assuming is communicating better. If you think a coworker is upset with you, ask them directly. If you’re expecting dinner out, send a quick text to double-check.
If you do jump to conclusions, forgive yourself and everyone involved. It’s easy to get frustrated and snap at someone over something you assumed. Take a few deep breaths, recognize what went wrong, and focus on moving forward. This helps reduce anxiety too.
Moving Forward
Habits like avoidance, negative thinking, and assuming can be difficult to change. Many of them formed long ago in childhood, shaped by how others treated you and the beliefs you began to hold about yourself.
Changing old habits isn’t easy, but you can absolutely do it. Be patient with yourself, and remember that improving your mental health is a lifestyle change. It won’t happen instantly, but the more effort you put in, the less anxious and the happier you’re likely to feel. For structured, step-by-step support, the Refine Your Life course can guide you as you build healthier habits.
Key Takeaways
Anxiety often grows through everyday habits, such as avoidance, overthinking, neglecting self-care, too much caffeine or alcohol, self-criticism, rumination, all-or-nothing thinking, and making assumptions. Letting go of these habits, one decision at a time, helps you ease anxiety and feel more like yourself. Mindfulness, daily self-care, clear communication, and professional support make the process easier, and patience with yourself matters most, since lasting change takes time.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is avoiding anxiety triggers a problem?
Avoidance gives anxious thoughts exactly what they want and tends to leave you feeling more anxious. It also encourages isolation, which makes building relationships and reaching out for help harder.
How can mindfulness help with overthinking?
Mindfulness slows your thoughts and helps you stay in the present moment instead of worrying about things you can’t control. You learn to accept your thoughts rather than fight them, which calms you down.
How much caffeine is okay if I have anxiety?
Try limiting caffeine to one or two cups a day, preferably early in the morning. Too much caffeine, especially later in the day, can disrupt sleep, and poor sleep can increase anxiety.
What is rumination, and how do I stop it?
Rumination is a pattern of repetitive negative thoughts that never get solved. It’s hard to overcome quickly, so be patient, and consider talking with a therapist who can help you work through it.
What is black-and-white thinking?
It’s all-or-nothing thinking, where everything must be perfect or it isn’t worth trying. Practicing flexible expectations helps you find the in-between and reduces procrastination.
