by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Improvement
We’ve all heard that we should breathe deeply, go to therapy, and use medication when we’re feeling anxious, but there are other, less obvious ways to deal with anxiety. In this post, I’ll share some anxiety solutions you may have never considered.
As a person who struggles with anxiety on a daily basis, I enjoy learning about new possibilities of how to get rid of it.
I enjoy distractions like reading, or playing a game on my phone. Focusing my attention completely on something else helps me feel more in control of my mind.
While yes, some of these you may have heard before, they are all proven ways to reduce anxiety.
8 Less Obvious Ways To Deal With Anxiety
I also have a post “10 Things to Stop Doing if You Have Anxiety“, and I just want to remind anyone reading my blog that YOU are unique. What works for you might not work for someone else.
Same thing for you. If you see something in my posts that you think would give you anxiety, that’s OK! Move past it and find something that does work for you.
The last thing I want to do is make you think the answers below are the only things that will resolve your anxiety. I want to give you as many ideas and options as possible so that you can choose which ones work best for you.
Also, if you have found something that really works for you feel free to leave a comment below and let other people know about it!
Try these ideas to deal with anxiety in a way that works for you:
1. Kickboxing
You know when you’re anxious and you feel all jittery like you’ve just had two cups of coffee? If you have a lot of nervous energy building up inside, try out some kickboxing.
You can even do this at home, just look up a video on YouTube. But, if you want to take a class even better!
Allowing yourself to get all that pent-up energy (and maybe even anger) out onto a punching bag can relieve a lot of anxiety. Sometimes your mind and body just need something to do, and this is a quick way to get in a good workout while de-cluttering your thoughts.
2. Drink Some Warm Water
I know, this is oddly simple and maybe even obvious. But, hear me out.
I try to be religious about drinking water throughout the day, but when I’m anxious I tend to not care as much about being hydrated.
A couple of days ago I decided to heat up some water and sit outside, and it really helped to calm me down. The warmth felt like a cozy blanket and added a lot of comfort to my anxious mind.
3. Pretend you’re someone who handles stress and anxiety with ease.
Even if this is just for the next 5 minutes.
Use this as a mental exercise, where you act like a totally different person. Someone who feels anxiety, but doesn’t allow it to completely control them.
Do something that may even scare you a little bit, like talking to a stranger at the grocery store. Step out of your comfort zone for just a few minutes and get a different perspective on your anxiety.
4. Take a nap
You might be thinking “How can I take a nap when I have anxiety??”
The truth is: that having anxiety exhausts your mind. Constantly worrying and stressing about things that may or may not even be real begins to take a toll on your brain.
Some people have different views on naps – either it means you’re lazy or it’s a refreshing part of your day.
Allow yourself to rest for 30 minutes, and you can even do this every day. Sometimes we don’t realize how tired we are until we lay down and break away from all those worrying thoughts.
5. Do something that takes your full attention.
Whether it’s doing a crossword puzzle, playing chess, or climbing monkey bars at a nearby playground. You can really think of anything that will help take your mind off of… well, your mind.
Maybe that’s even hanging out with younger children like a niece or cousin of yours. Children have a way of distracting us from the serious stuff, and they allow us to break free from our own thoughts for a while.
6. Schedule worry time.
Instead of worrying throughout the day, why not schedule some worry time?
You can worry all you want for 30 minutes, but you can’t worry the other 23.5 hours of the day. Just knowing that you can worry later will ease your mind and allow you to accomplish more.
How much time do you need to worry? Do you think that worrying for an hour would accomplish more than 30 minutes? Maybe 15 minutes is enough.
7. Go to bed earlier and get up earlier.
Going to bed earlier will allow you to get more sleep. Getting up earlier will allow you to start your day with less rushing around.
Try going to bed an hour earlier and get up 15 minutes earlier.
The extra 45 minutes of sleep will do your mind and body some good. The extra 15 minutes of the morning will make your morning more relaxing.
8. Go camping.
Or just get out of town. Sleeping on the ground or in a different bed in new surroundings can do a lot to change your perspective and alter your mood.
If you need a change of pace, give yourself one. A weekend can do wonders.
Where could you spend a weekend that would be a drastic change from your normal environment?
8 Less Obvious Ways To Deal With Anxiety – Conclusion
Anxiety can take all the joy out of life. When you’re worrying all of the time, it’s challenging to find any enjoyment.
Just as creating a feeling of anxiety is a skill, you can also develop the skill of calming yourself. Consider anxiety-reducing ideas that might seem a little unusual.
There’s no telling what will work for you until you try.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Finding Motivation, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Are you stuck, unsure of how to reach your full potential? Are you limiting yourself by ignoring the full potential you’re capable of reaching? At first, it feels like too much effort to go out of your comfort zone and see how far you can go.
That effort is what keeps a lot of people from even trying in the first place. However, it’s interesting to see what you can accomplish if you try.
Today I want to share with you some strategies you can use to reach your full potential and discover yourself.
7 Strategies That Will Help You Reach Your Full Potential
When you think back on your past, and into your future, what have your goals looked like? Have you often achieved the goals you’ve set for yourself, or do you let them slide to the wayside?
These are just a few questions to ask yourself as you work on reaching your full potential. A lot of what holds us back is our own thoughts.
As soon as you learn to reprogram your thoughts, you will quickly start to see doors open and your life becomes more fruitful.
1. Start with baby steps
As you create big goals for your future, break them down into tiny baby steps. You’ll get easily overwhelmed by all of the to-do’s, causing you to feel frozen in place.
Categorize the steps into groups and break it all down, then choose one thing to focus on for this week. If you want to start working out more, set aside just 5 minutes a day to focus on that.
Related: How to Get Motivated When You Struggle With Anxiety & Depression
2. Your progress ebbs and flows
To give you an idea of what progress and success looks like:
Just like with this blog that you’re reading, progress is a bumpy road. It took me a long time to figure out how to blog and how to get people to see it.
There were SO many times I just wanted to give up on it, but the picture from above is what’s kept me motivated to continue on this journey.
Once you can accept how progress really goes, you will have more patience with the process. It just comes with persistence and time.
The longer you stick with it, the more progress you will make. You will also learn a lot of lessons along the way that will build your resilience!
3. Narrow down to one thing at a time
Limit yourself to just a few activities if you want to reach a high level of mastery. Mastering anything takes time.
Patience is key to long-term development
For example, if you want to be more physically active then focus on just one thing. Maybe that’s replacing soda with water, or running 10 minutes a day.
Start small so the new changes don’t feel overwhelming. Focus on one thing, then move on to the next.
I am the type of person who loves to dabble in different things, so I don’t want to limit you to just one thing. But, it is helpful to focus your attention on one thing at a time so you get really good at it. Then you can move on to the next thing.
4. Imagine the new you
Another way to think of this is when you wake up in the morning, imagine being the person you want to be.
If you want to be healthier, ask what would a healthy person do. Then DO those things. If a healthy person would eat an apple instead of chips, do that.
Be the person you want to be by practicing this exercise.
5. Be persistent
In order to make lasting changes, you have to push yourself. Keep doing the grind and keep reminding yourself of your why.
Why do you need this, why do you want it? Keep that at the top of your mind until it becomes ingrained into you.
Consistency and persistence are key, as well as a tremendous amount of patience.
6. Always be learning
Connect with like-minded people around you who remind you of why you want this in the first place. Then learn from them.
Take online courses or even find a coach who can help guide you to where you want to be.
We can’t always do things alone and you’ll need plenty of support to nudge you in the direction you want to go.
7. Break free from fear
Fear can hold you back from doing anything, and from living an amazing life. Instead, you want to have fear be a part of your life, but not let it control you.
Allow fear to keep you on your toes and lean into it. Once you see that fear is just what you make up in your head to be scary, you will slowly become less fearful.
7 Strategies That Will Help You Reach Your Full Potential – Conclusion
And when you continue to step out of your comfort zone and embrace change, you will become stronger. Your grit will build and you’ll be resilient with anything life throws at you.
Be sure to enroll in my awesome online course ‘Refine Your Life Purpose + Wellness‘ to learn more about ways you can reach your full potential, discover your purpose, and create a life you love.
So now, go ahead and work to reach your full potential!
More life improvement tips to help you reach your full potential
Download our free mental wellness kit HERE
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Happiness Tips, Self-Improvement
Can you reprogram your thoughts? It takes practice, but yes. Our thoughts are tricky things to control.
Our beliefs and habits are often hidden from us, but these are two of the things that have great influence over our thoughts. Your thoughts influence your actions.
If you want to change your behavior and results, it’s important to gain control over your thoughts.
5 Ways To Reprogram Your Thoughts For More Success & Happiness
This has been a battle for thousands of years and continues to be a great challenge.
Fortunately, psychology has grown considerably over the last 20 years on this important topic.
Now, you can learn to reprogram your thoughts if you’re motivated to do so. Use these techniques to gain control of your actions by reprogramming your thoughts:
1. Use Mantras
Mantras are helpful reminders of what new thoughts you want to have. You can listen to them, read them silently, or read them aloud. Mantras require a lot of repetition and emotional involvement, but they can be highly effective.
Here’s how to make mantras work for you:
- Create mantras that support the pursuit and achievement of your goals.
- Use mantras that also address your weaknesses.
- Create a schedule for exposing yourself to your affirmations.
- Be patient. Expect that it might be several weeks before you begin to see results.
- Pinterest is a great place to find mantras that you can print out and put in parts of your house that you spend a lot of time in.
2. Open Your Mind
Increasing or altering your knowledge in many areas can have a huge impact on your well-being.
If you view yourself or the world differently, your thoughts will change.
Take a brief look at Stoic and Buddhist philosophy, for example.
These viewpoints are vastly different than how most people view the world. Become a student of philosophy and you’ll learn a lot.
There’s a lot most of us could learn about success.
Goal setting, willpower, perseverance, and communication are just a few topics.
Learning more about these types of topics will change the way you view success, and your thoughts will change, too.
Related: How to Develop a Growth Mindset So You Can Strengthen Your Confidence
3. Ask yourself questions.
Questions change your focus and thoughts.
Asking yourself questions like, “What’s good about this situation?” or “What are my greatest strengths?” or “What should I be working on right now?” will change your thinking.
Use questions to redirect your attention and thoughts.
This is one of the easiest ways to change. Develop the habit of asking the right questions.
Related: 10 Life-Changing Questions to Ask Yourself Today
4. Attack limiting beliefs.
Your beliefs largely create your thoughts. Eliminating negative beliefs and adding positive beliefs will drastically change your thoughts.
Take a negative belief and apply the following process:
- Where did I get this belief? Is it my own? Did someone else give it to me?
- What is the belief based upon? Is the source valid? How do I know it’s true?
- What is this belief costing me? What would happen if I believed the opposite instead?
- Am I willing to let go of this belief for a month and see what happens?
5. Visualize.
Visualize something negative and notice your thoughts.
Now, visualize something positive and notice your thoughts. Compare. There’s no doubt that visualization impacts your thoughts and beliefs.
The period of time right after awakening and just before falling asleep can be especially effective for practicing visualization.
Use this to your advantage, visualize:
- Achieving your goals.
- Completing the tasks you need to do each day.
- Being the type of person you want to be.
- Mastering a skill you want to learn.
5 Ways To Reprogram Your Thoughts For More Success & Happiness
You’re not as easy to program as a computer, but you’re more programmable than you think!
If you’re struggling to manage your behavior and get yourself to do the things you know you should be doing, try reprogramming your thoughts.
Many of our thinking patterns are purely habits and very challenging to alter.
But challenging doesn’t mean impossible!
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Finding Motivation, Self-Improvement
When you come to a point of feeling lost in life, it gets pretty discouraging.
As soon as you start to evaluate your life and notice things aren’t exactly how you wanted them to be, it makes you question where you’re going in life.
Whether it’s from a lack of achievements, being stuck in a dead-end job, or comparing yourself to everyone on Facebook who seems to have their lives together.
There are so many ways we begin to wonder if we’re doing enough.
When you feel discouraged and lost in life, you can also fall into a rut where you feel stuck and confused.
Because to get out of this feeling means you have to make a change. And change is pretty terrifying. Finding a new career path requires going back to school and spending money on more classes.
Breaking off a toxic relationship means dealing with being single and having to date again. Taking time off to travel and figure your life out requires money which you may or may not have.
These are just excuses we make up in our heads about why we shouldn’t make a change. Even though right now is uncomfortable, it’s better than completely starting over, right?
The truth is the only way to break out of this feeling of feeling lost in life is to have the courage to make a change that puts you on the path you want to be on.
It might be uncomfortable at first, and you might want to avoid change, but once you start going after the things you want your future will become clearer.
6 Things To Do When You Feel Lost in Life
Try these activities to find yourself and create a future that inspires you again.
1. Make a list of things you’d like to SEE in your lifetime.
One of the reasons you feel lost is that you don’t have anything to look forward to. You can change that quickly by making a list of all the things you’d like to see in your lifetime. Here are a few ideas to stimulate your thinking.
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- The Great Wall of China
- An opera in Italy
- The Grand Canyon
- The birth of a litter of puppies
- Old Faithful
- Mars through a high-quality telescope
- A Rolling Stones concert
Make your own list and don’t be bashful. Now pick one thing you can do in the next six months. If your list is too extravagant, and six months is an impossible timeline, think harder and add more items to your list.
2. Make a list of things you’d like to DO in your lifetime.
When you’re writing down all of the things you want to do in your life, let go of any limits you feel. Think as though anything is possible.
Let your mind wander for a little bit and listen to what your heart truly wants. Chances are you’ve ignored what you really want for a while now.
You may have overlooked a desire or dream because of it’s price tag, or for some other self-limiting beliefs. But if you want something and are willing to work to make it happen, the money always has a way of reaching you. If you’ve ever told yourself “This would never be possible”, write down that thing. And start striving to make that thing possible.
It’s time to start changing the way you think about these things, so you can fill your life up with more of the things you love.
3. Revisit your old goals.
You had a lot of plans when you were a kid. Like becoming a cowboy or an astronaut or raising llamas. Your plans became more realistic as you age, but you still had plans that interested you.
Perhaps you can rekindle some of that enthusiasm by revisiting those plans from the past.
Think about why you abandoned those plans. Maybe the reasons you changed your mind are no longer valid. Maybe they were never valid in the first place.
If they weren’t valid, think about setting new goals for yourself.
4. Realize that your feelings aren’t unusual.
Your current mental state is quite common. How many people make the right choices consistently?
Nearly every adult wishes they could go back and choose a different career. This includes doctors, lawyers, and successful business owners.
Mistakes pile up over the years, and in your mind, the grass is always greener somewhere else. This is all a part of the human experience. The next part of your experience is working through it.
5. Remember you have a lot of control over your situation.
It’s easy to feel hopeless, but you have a lot of choices available to you. It’s a matter of being brave enough to choose the best one and run with it.
Even if you can’t see any options for you at this very moment, that is entirely in your head. There are thousands of different career paths to choose from.
And there’s other fish in the sea. You have the power to change your life, to start working out, eating healthier, loving harder, and being happier.
Although you may have heard some of these things over 10 times, it’s all about how you choose to react to it. You could swear off dating for the rest of your life and give up on relationships. You could also choose to stay at a job you hate.
These are all your own choices. You are creating your life, and just as you chose your current situation, you have the power to choose a new life for yourself.
6. Challenge your limiting beliefs.
There are plenty of things you want to do, you just don’t think you can do them.
You might believe that you’re too old, need more education, lack the necessary finances, and the list goes on. Look at your limiting beliefs and work through them.
Why You Feel Lost in Life & What to Do About It – Conclusion
Feeling lost is synonymous with lacking direction. Finding a new direction for your life is the key to stop feeling lost.
Find a few things you’d like to do and see this year. Plan a future that you find interesting and exciting. Once your mood is lifted, you’ll see the world with new eyes and be able to find new opportunities that excite you.
Remember, there is affordable online counseling available to you at all times, whenever you need to talk to someone.
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by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 17, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Finding Motivation, Happiness Tips, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Lately, I’ve been wondering how to live a more meaningful life. Wondering how I can have more control over my life. It’s something that happens as you get older.
You learn to let go of all these things you don’t want anymore. Things you maybe thought you wanted but eventually grow out of. That’s where claiming your true power comes into play.
Claiming your power is about your character and accomplishments. It’s the result of who you are and what you do. When you learn how to unlock your personal power, you can achieve your goals and lead a more meaningful life.
14 Ways to Step Into Your True Power & Live a More Meaningful Life
By harnessing that power, you will also speak up more about what you do and don’t want. You won’t feel so trapped by a life that you really don’t want.
In some ways, building up your inner power is like building up your outer body. It takes effort and practice.
Start with these exercises for cultivating inner strengths and taking positive actions.
1. Clarify your values.
Understand who you are and what’s important to you. You do this by getting to know yourself more. Don’t be afraid to do things alone and to step out of your comfort zone.
It’s too easy to have your values blocked by what you think you’re supposed to be. Instead of who you want to be.
Every day society is telling us what we should value and what we shouldn’t, but the only way to claim your true power is by ignoring all of these mixed messages.
Focus on what you value deep in your heart and what matters most to you. When you get clearer on this, your inner power will grow.
2. Practice Optimism.
The world tears us down from the moment we wake up until the moment we fall asleep. As the day wears on, your boss may criticize you or you get stuck in traffic.
It’s easy to allow these annoyances to change your view of the world. Making you more negative towards things that shouldn’t have that much power over you.
Focus instead on what is going right in your world. Sure, you have bad days because we all do. You’re not alone in this and I’m not going to try and tell you to just pretend to be positive all the time.
But there is beauty in the way that some people turn lemons into lemonade, right? Even when shit is hitting the fan these people can throw a smile on and shake it off.
Imagine what those people would do in your shoes. Laugh off the things that won’t matter tomorrow and turn your attention towards the things you love and value in your life.
Related: How to Cleanse Your Mind of Negative Thoughts
3. Build your self-esteem.
Question your self-limiting beliefs. Have the courage to take worthwhile risks and give yourself credit for trying.
Building up your self-esteem is one of the best things you can do. When you believe in yourself, you build resilience towards anything in life.
This takes practice just like thinking more optimistically does. Most people aren’t born naturally confident, they are instead surrounded by things that build their confidence.
This means supportive people and allowing yourself room to make mistakes and take risks, without feeling like a total failure in the process.
4. Manage your emotions.
Recognize your feelings without letting them distract you from making healthy choices. Stop trying to bury emotions deep inside, pretending they don’t exist. This only makes things worse.
You won’t learn how to deal with bad things if you never express your emotions. And the only way to gain control over fear, anxiety, or depression is by shining a light on them.
Whenever you feel sad, angry, hurt, or confused, don’t be afraid to sit with yourself and dissect why you feel that way. Validate your feelings so you can manage them.
5. Let go of baggage.
Free yourself from grudges and resentments.
Forgive yourself and others for any past disappointments.
6. Persevere through obstacles.
Patiently accept reversals and delays as the price of success. Remember your purpose and renew your commitment when the going gets tough.
7. Be authentic.
Stay true to yourself. Be prepared to align your actions with your values even when it’s uncomfortable. Evaluate your progress according to your own standards instead of comparing yourself to others.
Authenticity gives you real strength.
8. Meditate and pray.
You don’t have to be religious to be spiritual. Faith and mindfulness can make you stronger and more resilient. Set aside time each day to give thanks and connect with your spiritual side.
Practice your faith by seizing opportunities to be kind and generous.
9. Engage in self-care.
Your physical condition affects your personal power. Keep your body in peak condition with a balanced diet rich in whole foods like fresh vegetables and fruits. Exercise regularly and stick to a consistent sleep schedule.
10. Continue learning.
Adding to your knowledge and abilities also makes you more powerful. Sign up for educational seminars at work or study a foreign language at your local community college.
Take courses online and read classic novels in your free time.
11. Communicate skillfully.
You can make yourself more likable and influential. Ask friends and colleagues you trust for honest feedback about areas where you need to grow.
- Brush up on your attentive listening or public speaking skills. Monitor your body language and proofread your emails.
12. Network vigorously.
A robust network gives you more opportunities to leverage your strengths by collaborating with others. Help others by sharing your time, expertise, and other resources. Stay in touch with your old contacts, and attend events where you can widen your circle.
13. Aim for balance.
It’s tempting to limit ourselves to the areas where we feel safe and appreciated. Ensure you’re giving adequate attention to both your professional and family life.
14. Maximize your productivity.
Time and other resources are limited. Organizing your routines can help you to do more with less.
Mental and spiritual strength allows you to take charge of your life and your future. Claim your true power so you can realize your potential and have a positive impact on the world around you.
