by The Lovely Refinement Team | Oct 15, 2020 | Dealing With Emotions
Mindfulness is a state of mind, like “Nirvana” or “Zen.” It’s a set of beliefs you completely digest and believe in to make a better person out of yourself. Mindfulness is the capability to become fully aware and present of the moment we’re in without being detached by pressure or emotions.
Most people think mindfulness is something you “conjure,” but it’s actually something we all have but might not readily be able to gain access to due to lack of practice.
The concept of mindfulness has gained popularity over the last few decades, and so have conferences, webinars, and books about mindfulness. Even big companies like Google have adopted a mindfulness practice or two to help their employees minimize their stress and anxiety while maintaining a high productivity level.
However, not many people are aware of the beneficial impact that practicing mindfulness can have on their lives, and that’s a real bummer. Understandably, it could be a little tough to grasp the concept, let alone find ways to implement it and integrate it into your everyday life.
That’s why I highly recommend mindfulness books as a way to start practicing mindfulness. I’ve picked out the best mindfulness books on the market to help you better understand the meaning, process, and goals of the practice and have added a little summary of each. Let’s delve right into them!
My Ultimate List of Mindfulness Books in 2020
I’ve gone through countless mindfulness books to find you the most helpful ones. Some of them explain the “why” and “how” of mindfulness, while others give you a step-by-step guide on how to practice mindfulness and mindful meditation.
Some of them rely on real-life stories or examples, some rely on scientific research, and some make ties between the body and the mind. Whatever doubts or second thoughts you might have, read on to gain a better understanding and perhaps start practicing mindfulness yourself.
The raw emotions and truth inside this book are what made me list it as the first on the list of the best mindfulness books. It’s like a memoir of Dan Harris’ journey toward becoming a better person, and the fact that it’s so real makes it one of the best books for mindfulness and learning all about meditation and mindfulness practices.
To fight against a world that perpetually tries to put us under stress and anxiety to drive us to fuel its benefits, Harris tries to explain how mindfulness can help you remain compassionate and lead a fulfilling life.
If you’re like me and enjoy reading about concepts only when someone has tried them out and proven them successful, you’ll absolutely love what 10% Happier offers.
Mark Coleman knows very well how each of us has an inner voice, always telling us we’re not good enough, not doing well enough, could have been doing better, and what have you. This is why he’s incredibly compassionate and truly understands those low moments when you’re second-guessing and doubting your value.
This is one of the mindfulness books that teach you how to manage your inner thoughts, channel your emotions, and get on top of your game. Given that he’s a meditation teacher and therapist, Mark Coleman knows exactly how to help readers with mindfulness through compassion.
In each chapter, he goes through how the inner critic is created, and by understanding how it comes to be, the reader learns how to handle it with maturity and calmness. He plays on the idea of neuroplasticity, which is the ability to form new neural networks in the brain to learn new behaviors and patterns.
Not only does he suffice with his own story, but his book offers real-life stories of people whom he had helped guide toward practicing mindfulness regularly and effectively. The fact that Coleman’s narrative is informal and sounds like a close friend giving you genuine advice makes this one of the best mindfulness books discussing the topic.
Though both of them have “Harris” as a surname and have written some of the best mindfulness books, Sam and Dan Harris are not related. That’s except that their content, mindset, and helpfulness are!
However, this book is not as easy to wrap your head around as Dan’s. I’d recommend it for someone who’s had a bit of experience in the world of mindfulness and perhaps has read a couple of mindful books.
The way he sees it, a person must let go of his “self” or “ego” to actually lead a meaningful life. One must “wake up” from the state of being controlled by things like wanting to prove ourselves in certain aspects, and instead, focus on being better humans that are actively living life instead of going on autopilot.
It’s no secret that Sam Harris always questions what everyone else might perceive as “facts” to reach a better understanding of the world. This is why he addresses spirituality, which is often tied to religion, as something independent of religion.
This read is definitely one of the best books on mindfulness practices because its core concepts are actually applications of the concept.
Michael Singer believes in the power of one’s inner monologue. After all, it’s the sound that is continuously resounding in your head, all day, every day. This is why, in this mindfulness book, Singer focuses on directing this inner monologue toward a more beneficial direction that turns our “autopilot” mode into a more positive and peaceful standard.
What makes The Untethered Soul one of the best mindfulness books is that it encourages the readers to “observe” their thoughts as though they aren’t their own. This detachment can help you become ten times more mindful because the exercises it presents are calculated and clear, so it’s a good place to start getting more informed on the topic of mindfulness.
This also helps you realize that your thoughts don’t define who you are, but rather indicate that you have an active mind. What defines you is which of these thoughts you choose to feed, pursue, and live by.
A mindfulness book that is actually a step-by-step guide to reaching higher mindfulness levels, how great does that sound? What makes Declutter Your Mind an incredible read on mindfulness is that it comes with mindfulness practices, tricks, and tactics that enable you to work out your “now” muscle.
SJ Scott and Barrie Davenport believe that regrets belong in the past, and anxiety belongs to the future, so you shouldn’t dwell on either and focus on the present moment.
You can do so by realizing plenty of concepts like the paradox of choice, negativity bias, stress, and the number of issues you have to worry about that are beyond your means. Those are the pillars of the clutter in the mind, and those are the things that Scott and Davenport try to deal with in the book.
They give advice on how to declutter your social relationships, obligations, and even your home and surroundings. It’s so well-written, and integrated, and covers more or less all the questions anyone could have about mindfulness.
This is only one book of the many incredible Jon Kabat Zinn books on mindfulness meditation and mindfulness practices. It focuses on acceptance, a concept in mindfulness that is often overlooked and not given enough attention.
While each of us has our own issues relating to self-image, how people perceive us, and how to live a fulfilling life despite that, Jon Kabat Zinn finds that absolutely okay.
This book tries to tell you that it’s perfectly fine and actually normal to have these thoughts; the important thing is to envision the version of yourself you want to become and prepare the groundwork on how to get to this version, starting with the present moment.
The book offers motivation and guidance to mindful meditation exercises and explains how and why mindfulness could change your life upside down, making it one of the best books on mindfulness for both beginners and well-seasoned meditators.
You might have seen the Headspace app here or there, perhaps even used it, and enjoyed it along with many users whom it helped find ways to reduce stress and anxiety. It comes with a 10-day mindfulness challenge that you can use to learn the principles of mindfulness or jog your memory if you already know them.
The focus on “slow and steady wins the race” is incredible as the book (and the app) encourage you to engage in mindfulness practices for only 10 minutes per day, and the biggest testament to how effective mindfulness is would be the world of difference you start noticing after.
This is one of the best books on mindfulness because it was written by a former Buddhist monk. Andy Puddicombe has many years of experience when it comes to teaching mindfulness practices, which came after years of being busy and suffocating under the weight of everyday stresses.
It’s worth mentioning that Bill Gates has given this book 3 out of 5 stars with a fantastic review on goodreads.com, which speaks volumes about what this book has to offer in terms of reducing stress and improving the self.
In this book, Thich Nhat Hanh teaches us through stories and practices how to access and hone our mindfulness skills. Not only is it an interesting read, but it’s also helpful and definitely leaves an impact.
This is because the book teaches you mindfulness through the most mundane tasks. Things you do every day like washing the dishes, talking to a friend, and eating a tangerine, all become mindfulness practices with what Thich Nhat Hanh teaches.
Its main focus is introspection and making it your default. Thich Nhat even incorporates actual steps to help you reach an introspective mindfulness state, which makes it a great book for both those who are new to mindfulness practices and those who want to improve on their mindfulness.
Mark Williams and Danny Penman make it very clear in the title of this book that they understand how the nature of the modern world induces stress and that they’re on a quest to help you reach a state of peace in such a dynamic.
Mindfulness by Danny Penman and Mark Williams is one of the few mindfulness books that actually offers a step-by-step guide with details on how to get to mindfulness.
Not to mention, the duo is pioneering in the world of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), which is the primary topic that the book discusses. You’ll find plenty of simple and effective mindfulness practices that you can start implementing right here, right now, to reduce stress, anxiety, exhaustion, and depression.
I love this book because it puts science as a cornerstone of methodology, which helps the most skeptic of people rest assured that the content is meaningful, helpful, and, most importantly, actually works.
This is not the first book by Jon Kabat Zinn that I mentioned on the list, but this book is definitely a lot heftier both in terms of actual size (a 650-page book) and in terms of information.
You should start reading Full Catastrophe Living after gaining the basic and introductory information on mindfulness from “Wherever You Go, There You Are.” With its size alone, this massive book showcases its message: doing something hard to get to easy living.
Besides the number of pages you’d have to go through, Kabat Zinn invites you to tackle another hefty task: spare 45 minutes per day to engage in mindfulness and mindful meditation. It also teaches you how to utilize mediation-based mind-body approaches to minimize anxiety, form a balance between your mind and body, as well as start healing.
Whether you’re dealing with chronic pain, persistent depression, or debilitating anxiety, this book will help you get to a better place through mindfulness. It incorporates the science of mindfulness with the stats about its practices to show you how effective mindfulness can be.
From the title, you can tell that Cure is one of the mindfulness books that focuses on forming a tie or a bond between the body and mind. It investigates our brain’s impact on healing our body and how a damaged brain could make one’s body more prone to illness or accelerated aging.
While everyone knows that anxiety and stress could negatively affect your health (we’ve all suffered some hair loss or burnout after a stressful week at work), we hardly try to think about the positive effects a relaxed brain with healing thoughts could have.
Jo Marchant tries to focus on how our emotions, beliefs, and mere thoughts could bring the physical damage that’s a result of mental damage to a halt, or even reverse its effects.
With studies that prove that mindfulness and mindfulness meditation could protect us against mental deterioration or diseases such as depression and dementia, how establishing strong social connections enhances our health, and how patients can recover faster from surgeries when they have reliable and solid support systems, this is among the books that completely change the way you think about mindfulness.
Though she was initially skeptical of the topic of mindfulness, Jo well explains with clear compassion and backed-up research how mindfulness works as a placebo and can transform your healing journey through life.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Aug 13, 2020 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Improvement
Do you think you could stand to stop taking everything personally, a bit more? As human beings, it’s normal to take things personally every once in a while. We have egos that are sensitive at times.
If you’re finding that you’re taking everything personally, then it may be time to work on letting some things go.
Taking things personally can eventually lead to anxiety because you become so wrapped up in what other people think of you and how they treat you.
And if you’re an empath, it’s all too easy to take on other people’s emotions. We start to feel we aren’t good enough for the things we really want.
How to Stop Taking Everything Personally
If you are working hard at pursuing your dreams and then realize you can’t always get what you want, it’s very easy to assume it’s because something is wrong with you. Taking it personally is unfortunately natural. It’s not always easy to just look the other way.
The thing I’ve learned about life is that it doesn’t always revolve around us. We want to believe it does, but life continues to move forward with or without you.
And learning to understand how to not take things so personally can benefit you in many ways.
When you let go of the unnecessary pressure you put on yourself, your anxiety will become lighter. You will start to forgive yourself more and have confidence in your actions. Confidence is a critical component to stop taking things personally.
I get that letting go of your own values and beliefs is difficult. For the longest time, I had strong beliefs about my own self.
- I couldn’t stop taking everything personally and placed my value in other people’s hands. a Lot of people made me feel inferior and I started to take anything personally, and I would value the opinions of someone else more than I value myself. I tried to hide from any situation where I thought people might have something to say.
As you can imagine, I went through a very difficult phase of my life that involved losing who I was to learn how to become who I actually am.
That meant letting go of the feeling that everything was my fault. I stopped blaming myself for things I couldn’t control. I let go of the things that just weren’t in the cards for me.
And I started to forgive my past for what had happened to me. The things that felt like the world was out to get me.
Once this happened, a huge weight fell off my shoulders. I want to teach you how to do the same.
5 Steps To Stop Taking Everything Personally
1. Become Aware of What You Can & Can’t Control
Often, we think we can control certain situations or people. We think we can “fix” someone because we have the ability to care so much.
In reality, you can’t change other people. And some situations are out of your control.
Knowing where to draw the line is tricky, but once you figure it out you can then start to separate yourself from the situation. Instead of letting it become personal.
Some people feel like they are being too selfish if they choose to let someone go.
That’s just because you care a lot. But, in order to take care of yourself and live a better life you have to draw some boundaries within your life.
- The same thing goes for setting realistic goals. We can think we will become a millionaire within a year, but it’s not very realistic.
Start getting real with yourself. It’s easy to stay in a constant state of drama within your life, and you can feed into the thoughts that say, “I don’t deserve happiness.” “I’m not good enough.”
This all starts with you. And if you are sick of feeling that way, listen to that pain and allow it to be the driving factor to change it.
2. Believe in Yourself
Taking things personally has a direct hit on your self-esteem. It would only make sense to practice having more faith in yourself.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. So… why allow others to define who you truly are?
We place our self-worth in how successful we are, what relationships we have, or how much money we have. And when you evaluate your life and realize you haven’t accomplished all that you wanted to, it’s easy to start to blame yourself.
Feeling worse about where your life is at, instead of embracing how far you have come.
A mindset change is usually all it takes to start feeling better about yourself. And that inner critic voice becomes a little quieter.
Believing in yourself takes time and only comes when you are willing to work at it. You can finally decide to let go of the “feeling sorry for yourself” and move forward.
When you put yourself first, you will then begin to believe in yourself. And slowly you will build up the confidence to stop questioning everything you do.
Then, you will let go of taking everything so personally. Because you will believe in yourself enough to know that it’s not always about you. And no matter what happens to you, it won’t crush you every time something bad happens.
3. Process What is Bothering You, Then Let it Go
There may have been times when you spoke out about what was bothering you, and someone told you to “just let it go” and move on.
This is good advice, but if you aren’t allowed to actually process what is bothering you, you won’t be able to let it go.
Instead, you will just suppress it and pretend it doesn’t bother you anymore.
This will only cause you to feel worse, and more sensitive to the things around you. And suppressing your feeling can make you feel anxious.
Think about what is really bothering you, or the moments where you do take things a little too personally.
- Ask yourself, why? Why is this getting to you so much?
- Really work hard at taking a few minutes to understand what it is.
Once you come up with an answer (no matter what it is), then you can begin to let it go.
- Imagine putting that thought into a balloon and releasing it into the air, letting it disappear.
This helps because you begin to understand yourself more and you learn why certain things stick to you.
Once you understand it, you can ask yourself why you’re allowing this to affect your life as much as it is. Then, you can work on letting it go.
It takes practice but recognizing how and why you feel the way you do helps you get to the root of the problem.
4. Remember That Other People Are Way More Focused on Themselves
No matter what you may believe in your mind, other people care way more about themselves than they do you.
Which means you are free to do more in life than you already are. We often try too hard to please others and to avoid criticism, so we can fit inside the lines.
What I’ve come to learn, however, is that other people don’t really pay that much attention.
Not as closely as I thought they did. And once I came to this realization, I started to let go of the pressure I thought their opinions held.
Other people are worried about what you are thinking of them. Or how they come across. And yes, other people also take things way too personally sometimes.
You’re not alone in a lot of the things that you feel. It’s just hard to see because we all are good at hiding our insecurities.
We don’t want to be a burden on other people, so we pretend we are ok.
The truth is, everyone has insecurities and issues within themselves. If you can remember this, it’s easier to stop taking things personally.
5. So What, Someone Somewhere is Waiting for You
There will always be people reviewing your art, your poems, your cakes, your store (or even your blog…) – and they might shrug and say “Yeah, I don’t like that”. This is such a common situation, and all people face this
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of taking things personally. People almost jump to conclusions that what people think or what someone says might actually be true. This usually has a direct impact on our self-esteem and we start to doubt ourselves and our abilities.
We need to learn how to identify when something someone says, triggers this feeling that we are not good enough. When that is triggered we need to realize what people think does not matter. Just ask yourself, so what? So what if they believe your cake is a flop or your blog is garbage? What people think or say is more a reflection on them not on you.
What you should never forget is that somewhere out there, someone would absolutely love your poem, your blog, your cake, or whatever you are selling. So stop your mind before it can jump to conclusions, and take the time to think and realize that you don’t need the approval of anyone but yourself.
You are the only person whose opinion matters. as that would help you to stop taking things personally.
For a great practical guide on how to not take things personally see this blog from Christine Kane.
Why do I take things so personally?
There are so many reasons why you would take it personally. Most often the no.1 reason why you take it personally could be from the way you were raised by your parents.
Have your parents ever allowed you to laugh at yourself or when you make a mistake? Or were you told to not act silly and be more serious? There is no right or wrong here or any judgment, these are just observations from many studies over the years.
Have you been laughed at in school or bullied? This is usually one of the biggest causes of people taking things personally. Nobody likes that feeling of a classroom of acne-faced teens laughing at you. The major problem at this stage of your life is that it is easy to jump to conclusions and most of the time the wrong conclusions. It starts building up layer upon layer. Someone says something about you behind your back, and immediately you feel like people think the worst of you, and you start to think that maybe they are all right, and the little voice inside your mind is wrong.
Taking things personally is a very difficult behavior to change, especially if you already suffer from low self-esteem. It’s like a snowball growing larger and faster, and with it, your self-esteem actually becomes even lower.
Why are there certain people, friends, or family who no matter what happens to them, do not take it personally? Although taking things personally is something that can be taught
How to Not Take Things Personally – Conclusion
Once you get a different perspective on things, you can start to see that nothing in your life is all that personal.
You don’t need other people’s approval or opinion to define your own happiness. If you are waiting for someone else and their opinions or approval to become happy, then you are seriously missing out.
Don’t be afraid to take chances, and don’t take anything for granted. Try to see it as a journey or an adventure. Look at any situation and don’t try to over analyze it. People are weird and there will always be something that someone loves or hates. That is what makes our life interesting.
Life moves on so quickly and what seems like a big deal right now won’t be an issue 3 weeks from now (most likely).
If you really want to stop taking things personally, start by focusing more on yourself. Let go of what others think about you because at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter.
You should want to have people in your life who support you, and anyone who doesn’t do that doesn’t deserve to have a say in what you do.
Work on believing in yourself more and everything else will fall into place. Have your back so that you can keep a level head whenever things start to offend you. You can brush it off instead of letting it ruin your whole day.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Aug 7, 2020 | Dealing With Emotions, Happiness Tips, Self-Improvement
10 Tips to Help Overcome Stress Once and For All
Are you stressed out in life? How do you handle stress and pressure? Learning how to handle stress and pressure can help you transform your life into one that you love.
I think we’re all feeling a little stressed out this year in the midst of the pandemic. But let’s not forget that many of us were already stressed out before this current situation hit. It just elevated it a lot.
So, let’s talk about stress on a deeper level. Obviously, a worldwide pandemic in the midst of an election year in America is going to cause everyone to feel a new level of stress and pressure.
But “normal” life can leave us feeling stressed out all on its own.
Think about it for a minute.
- The bills are rolling in faster than the money is hitting the bank.
- You really want to find the right person, but the thought of meeting new people just seems like too much to handle.
- That promotion at work seemed like a good idea, but now all you do is work and imposter syndrome hits you daily.
- You want to move to a new city, but you worry about what others will think of such a big move.
Honestly, you probably don’t even need reminders about what could cause you stress. If you’re reading this right now, something probably popped into your head instantly.
Maybe a situation that you don’t know what to do about. Or maybe it’s a relationship that has become a struggle. It could even be stress about not knowing what the future holds.
Stress happens. It’s part of life. Don’t feel guilty or ashamed if you struggle with it.
Why stress happens
Believe it or not, stress is meant to be a good thing. It’s one of the ways that your body tries to protect you. Here’s an example:
You’re out on a walk one day and you see a lioness who looks like she’s hunting you. It’s time to act quick. It’s not time to sit and think of a plan. You need to spring into action. Your body floods with stress hormones that trigger the fight or flight response.
Your brain knows that you either need to prepare to defend yourself or get the heck out of there fast.
That makes perfect sense, right? But here’s the problem. You probably aren’t facing life or death, dangerous situations on a regular basis. When you’re in a situation like this, stress helps keep you safe. Once your out of danger, your body works to return to normal.
However, when you’re experiencing daily stress from work, unhealthy relationships, an overwhelmed schedule, or an anxiety disorder, your body is constantly staying in that stressed-out zone. It’s not serving the purpose that it was meant to serve. And it can quickly become unhealthy.
Stress management is important!
Because we experience stress from so many different sources and in so many different ways, it’s really important to learn how to manage it in a healthy way.
Why stress is bad for you
I probably don’t have to tell you that stress affects your health. And it’s not just your mental health. You’re probably feeling it in your body too.
- You can’t sleep at night
- It feels like you’re constantly in a fog
- Your muscles are tight
- You have frequent headaches
- You’re super irritable, even with people you usually enjoy being with
- Your stomach and/or digestive systems feels like a mess
- It may feel like the tension and pressure is building up throughout your body
Stress can make life just feel too hard.
If you let stress go unchecked in your life it can lead to all kinds of problems. It can cause heart issues, relationship challenges, weight fluctuations, and all kinds of other things you don’t want to experience when trying to live your best life.
Living in stress and anxiety can also negatively impact your ability to make decisions.
The more stressed you are, the more you react based on natural instinct. Again, this is good if you come face to face with a wild animal, but not so much in your day-to-day life.
You want to make decisions based on your knowledge and life experiences. You want to use your full brain power in life, not always act based on instinct.
If stress is a major problem for you, then it’s probably playing a big role in how you make decisions. That means if you don’t learn how to manage your stress, you’re going to struggle to make the changes that you want to in life.
You need to learn to get your stress under control.
Stress management techniques that DON’T work
Dealing with stress isn’t easy. And if you try to avoid dealing with it in a healthy way, you probably find yourself dealing with it in a not-so-healthy way.
Can you identify with any of these behaviors?
- Popping open a new bottle of wine and polishing it off day after day
- Binging on Netflix for hours and hours
- Frequent shopping sprees on Amazon or (insert your favorite store name here)
- Looking for love in all the wrong places
- Letting food be your comfort
These are not successful or healthy ways to handle stress. These are known as “escape behaviors”. They may help you feel better for the moment, but it will be short-lived. And you probably feel even more stressed after indulging.
Don’t feel guilty. These are normal behaviors that people turn to when fighting stress on a regular basis. Feeling ashamed or guilty about it isn’t going to help you.
You don’t need to pile on one more thing to stress about.
Instead, turn your focus to learning how to manage stress in a healthy way.
10 stress management techniques that work
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Below are ten different stress management techniques for you to try. You may find that some work better for you than others. Do what works best for you.
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Exercise
Before you scroll on past this section, hear me out for a second.
I know that “exercise” is mentioned all over the place. I also know that it’s an easy trigger for anxiety, guilt, and shame.
You know that you’re supposed to be exercising. You might even struggle with comparing yourself with that super cute coworker who looks like she spends all her spare time in the gym.
That’s not what this is about.
No judgment, shame, or guilt is allowed here. This is simply exercising to help relieve your stress. It can be anything that works for you.
You don’t have to follow some crazy, challenging workout regimen. And it’s not about losing weight, toning your body, or anything like that. This is all about your mental health.
There are TONS of benefits for your mental health from exercising.
Even just going for a simple walk each day can reduce your stress, lower your risk of depression, and help your brain release mood-boosting chemicals. If you want to read more about the benefits, you can check out this article from BetterHelp: The Top Six Mental Health Benefits of Exercise.
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Write it down
Stress and pressure have a way of growing when you try to keep it to yourself. When stress is too much, there’s something that can feel liberating about putting it into words and getting it out of your head.
It’s easy to let anxious and stressful thoughts just roll around in your head. When you do this, it’s really easy for that stress to grow and the pressure to build.
It’s also easy to get stuck in wrong thought patterns without even realizing it. You can end up worrying about things that you don’t really need to spend time focusing on.
When you put your thoughts into words, it can help you gain perspective. You may see that some of the things you’ve been stressing about are things that you can let go. There are other things that you may be able to find action steps for once you see them written out instead of floating around in your head.
There are two approaches you can take once you have all your stress written down. You can hit the delete key or rip your paper and get rid of it forever. Or you can keep your stress writing in a journal to reflect on later.
If you’re able to keep it written in a journal and look back on it in a way that encourages you to overcome stress in the future, then I recommend doing that.
But if you find that you keep going back to your journal and reliving your stressful moments and concerns over and over again, get rid of it. That’s not serving the purpose of stress management.
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Talk to your friends
Isn’t there just something about pouring out your heart and all your crazy thoughts to a friend? That person that won’t judge what’s coming out of your head. The woman who can totally empathize with the stress you’re feeling because she’s felt it too.
It’s the beauty of friendship.
Don’t try to carry and handle stress and pressure by yourself.
Get together or call up that friend that you can be completely yourself around and let it all out. She may be able to help you gain a new perspective on a stressful situation. Or she may just be a listening ear and shoulder to cry on.
If you don’t have any friends that you feel you can really trust, find a support system to connect with.
Don’t ever feel alone in your struggles with stress. There are lots of other women who are going through similar situations and struggling with the pressures and stress they face each day as well.
If you’re looking for a place to connect, you can join the Lovely Refinement free mental health support group. Not only will you get free eBooks to help you reduce anxiety, but you’ll also be connected with over 500 women in the Facebook group.
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Lower your expectations
As women, we often feel like we’re supposed to conquer the world. We have careers to build, and social lives to maintain, and we’re supposed to always look like we have it all together.
We feel the pressure that we must maintain this picture-perfect life.
Who are we kidding?
Sometimes the stress and pressure that we feel is coming from within. We set unrealistic expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet.
“Superwoman” might sound like a great title, and you might have loved the Wonder Woman movie, but here’s the thing—it’s not real!
There’s only so much that one person can take on and successfully handle on any given day. If you’re spending your time trying to be “perfect”, you’re probably going to start feeling stressed out. That’s normal.
Don’t be afraid to lower the bar and be realistic about what you can handle right now.
There are different times in life when you can take on more than others. This may be one of those times that you need to lower your expectations for yourself.
And here’s the kicker—DON’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT DOING IT! It’s perfectly acceptable and OK. Don’t let anyone make you feel that it’s not.
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Take a look at your calendar & get organized
When learning how to handle stress, it may help to take a look at your schedule. Did Superwoman show up one day when you weren’t paying attention and overbooked your calendar? It may be time to start cutting some things out.
Sit down and make a list of everything that you have on your plate at the moment. Then, prioritize your list. What things can you cut out? Can you delegate anything? Are there things that can be moved to the back burner to tackle when you aren’t under so much stress?
Once you have a list of the things that you really need to do—the things that need your attention—you can start to see where to focus your attention.
There are a few different ways that you can move forward from here. You can choose to work on the most important things first until you get them done. Or you could choose to work on the things that are fastest to finish so you can cross them off your list.
Do what works best for you.
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Find something to laugh about
Laughter really is the best medicine and it helps with handling stress too.
There’s a lot of science behind how this works, but the basic information is that your laughter triggers your brain to release endorphins that make you feel good. They even help reduce the amount of pain that you feel.
So, when you feel the pressure coming on and the stress is building in your life, find something that makes you laugh.
Watch a funny YouTube video. Call up your hilarious friend. Have Alexa tell you a few jokes. Or stream your favorite comedian’s latest show.
And if you can, combine this with #3 and get together and laugh with your friends. Allow yourself to have fun and be distracted from the latest and greatest stress in your life, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
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Create some simple wins in your life
When you’re under a lot of stress, it may feel like you can’t seem to succeed at anything. You may notice that as your anxiety builds, your confidence starts to decline. This can cause you to feel even more pressure in life.
You can fight this by creating and tracking small successes in your day. This may also involve you changing the way that you think about success.
Success doesn’t have to be big in order for you to celebrate it.
If you’re under stress and pressure or dealing with anxiety and depression, even the little things in your day can feel overwhelming. Many people struggling with mental health challenges like anxiety also struggle to do things like clean up the house, get the bills paid on time, and cook dinner.
If you’re doing these things, count them as successes.
Every evening, write down at least three things that you succeeded at doing during the day. Keep a running list. As you see the list of things that you have accomplished grow (even those small things), you’ll probably notice your attention start to shift from your stress to your success. And your confidence will begin to grow.
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Think about what you’re thankful for
I know there are just times in life when it doesn’t seem like there’s anything to be thankful for. When the stress becomes too much, it can start to consume your thoughts and your life. But you have the power to control your thoughts.
That’s right! You don’t have to spend time thinking about things that leave you stressed out and overwhelmed.
Yes, there are times when you may need to think about something that causes you stress. But it doesn’t have to be all that you think about.
If you’re not used to controlling what you think about, it may feel super challenging when you get started. The trick is to find something positive that you can think about instead of just trying not to think about the stressful thing.
This is where gratitude enters the picture.
No matter how bad your situation seems, there’s something you can be grateful for. It may be that you have a best friend to confide in. Or that you’re able to walk and talk. You may be thankful that you have a job that pays the bills or that you had a clean pair of pants to put on this morning.
Spend time each day making a list of things that you’re grateful for. Think of a few things in the morning before your feet hit the floor. Then, do it again before you fall asleep at night.
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Play out the stress in your head
I know this is going to sound weird, but I have talked with multiple women who find this strategy really helpful when they’re feeling stressed out about a situation.
Think about whatever the situation is that you’re worried about. Then, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”. Once you answer it, ask yourself, “Then, what would I do?”.
This forces you to play out step by step the situation that you’ve been allowing to cause you stress.
Some women find that when they do this it helps to remove some of the anxiety they have over the situation. You may realize that the worst-case scenario isn’t as bad as they thought. Or you may realize that you’re stronger than you thought and even if the worst-case scenario happens, you’ll still be OK.
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Don’t be afraid to get help
There is no shame in talking to a therapist. There’s a stigma around mental health that stops people from getting the help they need.
Don’t let that be an obstacle for you!
And don’t fall for the myth that you need to have some kind of serious mental health disorder to see a therapist. A licensed therapist can help you with things like:
- Learning how to handle everyday stress
- Setting priorities
- Finding time management skills that help you regain control of your life
- Identifying where stress and anxiety stem from
- Improving stressful relationships with others in your life
- Learning how to gain control of your thoughts
- Overcoming negative thought patterns
It can even help to talk to a therapist if you aren’t sure what the problem is in your life, but you just feel like something’s off.
If you’re struggling, you don’t have to go through it alone. You can even do virtual therapy to make it easier on yourself.
How do you handle stress and pressure?
There are stressful situations that are going to come up from time to time. There are things that will happen that are outside of your control. Everyone handles stress in their own way.
That’s life.
You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t feel and experience stress and pressure in life. But you don’t have to let it get the best of you.
Try the tips above and start finding what works for you. And, check out the Anxiety Action Plan + Workbook available in the shop for just $19. You’ll learn an 8-step plan to reduce your anxiety once and for all.
Let’s make this the day that you decide to overcome stress instead of letting it control you!
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jul 31, 2020 | Dealing With Emotions
When life gets hard, remember these 10 things. Because, as we all know, life isn’t always easy. Life is tough, life is rough, and sometimes life is just unfair.
In fact, life is pretty hard most of the time. There are moments when things go smoothly, and life feels great.
But, there are also a lot of dark times and feelings of uncertainty. Sometimes, you might even have a string of bad events happening in your life. When life is hard it becomes really easy to fall into the trap of despair and negativity, but by changing the way you look at the hardship and your circumstances, you can find a path through.
Making it really hard to have hope or see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been there.
I’ve dealt with deaths, break-ups, toxic jobs, shitty living situations, and frequent moments when I am so unsure of my purpose and my worth. I should admit that even with all these I didn’t have a rough life. There are people with far worse struggles and circumstances than mine. But I do feel like I can share some of my views and journeys and hopefully, someone will find it beneficial or relevant.
Life isn’t supposed to be a walk in the park. Life gets hard. We learn and grow through the hard times. We can’t change our
It’s supposed to knock you on your ass sometimes and make you question everything.
That’s how you build up resilience, and how you get the strength to keep swimming.
Here Are Some Things to Remember When Life Gets Hard
Make sure that you pin this article so that when life gets hard, you can re-read this.
1. There is a Light at the End of the Tunnel
You can’t see it when you’re stuck in a shitty situation. When you feel hopeless and don’t know where to go next.
Stumbling around in the dark trying to find that light, day in and day out will get old.
But, you have to remember it’s there. And remember why you have kept pushing this long.
Hopelessness is the most powerful feeling. And it can swallow you up. But, just keep believing there is a light out there. Sometimes life is hard, and you feel like sitting in a dark hole or being washed around in a constant washing machine of problems. But never doubt that you will get to the other side, and it will make you feel so much stronger knowing that you have got what it takes to survive anything when life gets you down.
I know you believe it’s there, and you just have to keep believing and you will pull yourself out. Always believe in hope. As that great quote from The Shawshank Redemption movie goes, “Hope is a good thing and good things never die“.
2. Every Challenge is a Learning Opportunity
This is hard to see in the moment. When life gets hard and everything is extra challenging, it just feels hard and you won’t want to see it as an opportunity for growth.
But, try to remember a time when you went through something really challenging and got out of it.
Remember how you felt when you were in the middle of it. And now look at where you are, and how far you have come.
Every challenge thrown at you in your lifetime is an opportunity to learn and build strength.
The feeling that you have been able to learn something is immensely empowering, and it helps you to build up the inner strength and emotional armor for any future hard times.
It’s what morphs you into the person you’re supposed to become.
3. You Don’t Have to Have it All Figured Out
Sometimes life gets hard when you think you should have your life together by now.
When you’re not where you’re supposed to be, it’s easy to feel defeated.
The truth about life is: it’s messy. Things don’t go as planned, people change, and we grow.
What you wanted last year might not be the same as what you want now. And we live in a society where we should know what we want and be successful.
The pressures can break you if you try too hard to follow a path that might not be the right one for you.
Stop trying to do things just for the sake of doing them. Even as you get older, your life won’t always go as you planned.
If you can learn to let go of this belief, life won’t feel so hard.
4. Change is Just a Part of it
The only constant in life is change. I wish it wasn’t true. If I could stay a kid forever, I definitely would.
Change is one of the hardest parts of life. But, it’s something that will never stop.
Maybe trying to embrace it more would help cushion the blow. You need to change in order to grow, and things around you do too.
Let go of trying to hold onto things that just aren’t the same anymore and try to move into the flow of change.
And remember “Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it.”
It’s all about you and your attitude towards your life.
5. Failure Isn’t a Bad Thing
First off, if you love something enough and keep working at it, you’ll never fail. And, with everything else, you probably don’t care enough to have it in your life.
Relationships fail, jobs fail, and we sometimes give up on things.
You let go of things because you have to, and it can feel like a huge failure in the moment.
I’ve failed at a lot of things in life and all of them were because I just didn’t care enough about them to continue.
Instead, I focused on the things I did care about, and now my life is pretty much how I want it to be.
Letting go of things that you don’t enjoy anymore isn’t failing. It’s just you are moving onto better things that your soul is searching for.
6. Anything Worth Having in Life Isn’t Easy
It’s true. But, if you want it bad enough, you won’t mind putting up with all the bullshit.
I’ve spent hours on my blog not making a penny and have felt way more joy and fulfillment than any minute I spent at my old job.
You might be in a spot where you feel lost and have no idea what to do next.
That’s just because you haven’t found what you need yet. And it will come, at the right time.
When you do find something that fills your heart up, don’t let it go. Even if it doesn’t make any logical sense.
The things you want out of life might be what others don’t approve of. Or they might be insanely far out of reach.
And it might feel impossible. But, you just have to eventually realize that you are the one who creates your reality.
Taking the road less traveled is messy and sometimes freaking hard.
But, it’s also a great way to learn more about yourself, listen to yourself more, and do things you wouldn’t ever imagine doing.
7. You Will Pull Through Anything
If you are willing to fight and push back, you will get through anything.
Life’s a bitch. It hurts and it’s unfair and there are moments when you will absolutely want to give up on it all.
But, eventually, time passes. In the moment, it will feel unbearable and you’ll want to smack anyone in the face who says, “Just give it time”.
Those moments will build up your durability, though. And when you make it through one of the shittiest moments life throws at you, you’ll know you can get through anything.
You just have to keep pushing, even if that just means getting up every day and getting through the day.
8. It’s Ok to Not be Ok
You won’t always have the best mindset. Most people don’t. We all go through tough crap.
And when you aren’t feeling alright, please give yourself a break. Don’t try to just ignore it and beat yourself up over feeling bad.
Instead, listen to your body. Take things slow and practice self-care. Let go of the thoughts that say “I should be happy. I should just be grateful.”
And embrace how you feel in the moment. If your mind is saying “I hate everything”.
Then it’s a good time to just stay home and watch a movie.
9. You’re Not Alone
Feeling down, upset, or scared while others around you look happy can make you feel very alone.
But, you’re not the only one going through what you’re going through.
Everyone struggles. Sometimes people don’t like to talk about it because they don’t want to bring others down.
Or they don’t want others to worry. But, you just have to remember that you are not alone.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to others because the closest people to you want to know what’s going on.
They are there for you. And it’s seriously ok to not be ok all the time. It’s what makes you human!
10. Remember what really matters
When life gets tough it is crucial to remember which things are really important, and which things look important, but they are not.
When you wake up, appreciate the air filling your lungs. Appreciate the sunrise with a warm coffee. See the smiles on stranger’s faces when you smile and wave at them. Phone your loved ones, and just tell them to have an amazing day, and that you love them. Take a moment to smell the flowers on your way to work, or just the coffee shop and their freshly baked goods.
These acts seem so trivial and so small but believe me they can make a massive difference when life gets hard. They free your mind from the issues or the stresses that might be holding you captive.
11. One Last Thing to Remember
You will never reach a point in life where you don’t have problems.
Sometimes people strive to be successful and make a lot of money so they can get rid of all their problems.
But, life just doesn’t work that way. You will have moments when everything is going great, and then you’ll hit a speed bump.
During these times, just remember it’s a part of life. It’s not a direct hit to you.
When we are constantly thrown curveballs in life, it can feel personal. Like something’s wrong with you, and that you will always struggle.
If you continue to let each problem knock you down, it will break you down over time.
Instead, just remember that no matter your age, you will get hit with the unexpected sometimes.
What’s important is learning how to handle it when it happens. Believing in yourself to push through it will help.
Think of everything you’ve gone through in life and believe you will get through everything else that will happen.
Don’t ever give up, because remember things do change. Life gets good, then it gets hard, then it gets good.
Learn to trust the process a little more, and life will be easier to handle.
Now, go and download our FREE mental wellness kit and use it to boost all areas of your life 🙂
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Mar 23, 2020 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Improvement
Let’s talk about how to keep living your life when you have depression. Normally I write about anxiety on the blog, but today I want to dive a little bit deeper into depression.
Ah, depression. The thing so many people have and yet nobody wants to talk about.
It’s like some sort of voodoo. Where we all feel like something is wrong with us if we do have it and none of us want to admit we might have it.
I’m just going to lay it out there: depression sucks, but it’s not the worst thing in the world to have it.
How to Keep Living Your Life When You Have Depression
It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you if you struggle with it. Having depression just makes you human, seriously. There are many people out there who have depression and are able to live amazing lives.
This is so you know there’s no reason to feel ashamed if you do struggle with it.
I personally have learned that through a lot of trial and error. Depression wiggled its way into my life a few years ago and has stayed a very active visitor ever since.
Some days it’s not so bad and I actually feel pretty good. But when depression hits, it hits hard.
Last week a family member passed away, and I honestly didn’t know if I could go back to work and continue on with my life.
When depression hits it can honestly just make you believe that your life doesn’t matter, the people around you don’t matter, and that nobody would care if you ceased to exist.
Your mind goes against you. Any positive thoughts you have just go out the window and you’re just left there with the evil inner critic that is working its hardest to break you down.
During the days when my mental state is good, I work hard at remembering what that feels like. Because when I get depressed, I tend to forget.
I wanted to write this post for anyone out there who is struggling or has struggled with depression.
Below are a few ways you can work on it. I still deal with it, but I get through it. And every time I make it through to the other side, I am so grateful.
If you can, try to think of your depression as a head cold. It will knock you on your ass sometimes and you will be mentally too weak to fight it.
But it will pass, and you have to work on believing. And there are many ways to manage your depression to prevent it from getting unbearable.
I wish that it wasn’t as powerful as it was. It’s as though you’re in a Marvel movie where the bad guy has taken over your mind.
Sorry for all of the analogies… hopefully, you get my point.
How to keep living your life when you have depression
Before we dig into my advice on how to keep living your life when you have depression, I want to let you know that I offer a free mental health support group, and every member gets a free mental wellness kit. Join here.
1. Be open to talking to someone about it
I get that talking about depression is not easy. Especially when you know you’ll be ok, just not right now. And you don’t want other people thinking something is seriously wrong.
Depression should be taken seriously, but it doesn’t mean people will instantly judge you for the thoughts you have.
There are resources out there for your mental health. You should speak to professionals who know what you’re going through, and they will know how to make it better.
Please don’t give up on the hope that nobody understands what you’re going through. It’s actually quite the opposite. Most people get it, it’s just difficult communicating it sometimes.
Finding the right people to talk to can quickly make you feel better.
2. Listen to what your mind is telling you
Obviously, if you’re depressed then you will be listening to those awful thoughts that are making you feel worse.
But, try to dig a little deeper and figure out what your brain is actually telling you.
We all have insecurities and automatic thoughts we jump to when we aren’t feeling our best.
Thoughts like “I’m not good enough.” “I don’t know what the point of life is.” “Nobody cares about me” etc.
However, these thoughts are a cover-up of what you’re actually feeling.
What situations in your life have occurred recently that are making you feel this way? Did you get laid off? Did you recently end a relationship? Are you stuck in a job you hate and are wondering if this is all there is?
Start questioning what is causing your automatic negative thoughts. Work on digging deeper.
Automatic negative thoughts are there to actually prevent you from thinking more about what is bothering you. I
It’s easier to just say “I’m not good at anything.” than to think, “How can I improve from this situation? Is there anything I could have done differently?”
Work on stopping the self-sabotage and listening to your thoughts.
3. Change your environment
Sometimes the environment we are living or working in can be the underlying cause of depression.
If your job doesn’t make you feel your best, it might be time to evaluate if it is serving you enough.
And if your home life is less than ideal you may need to shine a light on what is causing you to feel so bad and work on fixing it.
I used to be in a toxic relationship that made me so depressed most days. I lived with the guy and never felt all that good.
It wasn’t until I had to force myself out of the situation that I started to feel much better.
You deserve to feel good about your life and if your environment is negatively affecting your mental health then your depression could be a sign telling you it’s time for a positive change.
4. Keep doing the little things, even if you really don’t want to
Last week my boss asked me if I could be back at work. That pressure immediately turned me off from ever wanting to go back.
I shut down and avoided his calls. I just was not ready to face work again and deal with responsibilities.
Not going to work made sense for last week but avoiding it for the rest of my life wasn’t possible. This week, I forced myself to go back and honestly felt a lot better mentally.
When you have depression, you won’t think anything will help. Going to the gym, watching a movie, talking to friends… all of these things seem pointless.
But, to avoid falling into a deep depression, you have to force yourself to keep doing those little things.
It’s okay to take a break from certain responsibilities if you aren’t feeling your best. Self-care comes first.
But, shutting down and avoiding everything will only make you feel worse. (I’m saying this from experience!).
When you want to retreat back to home and avoid your usual routine, instead try to do one or two things you would normally do.
Maybe that’s walking your dog around the block or calling your best friend. Keep up with those little things, because those little things could literally save your life.
5. Make a commitment to working at it every day
Taking care of your mental health should be your number one priority.
It honestly should be everyone’s first priority. Once your mental health is taken care of, you can literally conquer the world.
If you want to start making it one of your main priorities then make it a daily commitment.
Create a daily routine based on improving your mental health.
Some ways you can do that are:
- Set aside 5 minutes a day to write in your journal about how you’re feeling
- Practice mindfulness meditation
- Go for a 30-minute walk
- Try something different every day
- Find something that makes you laugh
- Practice gratitude for everything in your life
6. Do more of the things you love
It’s so easy to lose track of the things we enjoy in life. When we have to work most hours of the week and give ourselves over to other responsibilities.
But, adding in more things you love to do will help fight against your depression.
Partly because it will give you a reason to feel excited about things again.
Music has always been a huge part of what kept me going in life. Life got in the way and I stopped trying to make playlists and seek out the music that made me feel so much better.
I made it a point to create a playlist this week with all of my favorite songs and I felt so much more in tune with myself and the world.
That’s because I could really relate to what they were singing about, and I didn’t feel so alone in my thoughts.
Do more of what you love, and if you can’t remember what that is work on finding it again.
7. Rid yourself of the bullshit
Last but not least, ignore the bullshit. There is no right or wrong way to heal from depression.
Some days will be harder than others. But, that doesn’t you are destined to feel this way forever.
Being depressed does not mean anything is wrong with you. You aren’t crazy, and you’re not alone.
If you try to talk to someone and they don’t understand what you’re going through, that just means they haven’t experienced it before.
It doesn’t mean you’re wrong to feel the way you do.
What sucks is when you try to talk to someone about it and they make you feel worse about it.
If this happens to you, please try to think that the person you’re talking to you just doesn’t get it. They aren’t the right person to talk to, and that’s okay.
There are people out there who understand. I understand. And I’ve been in that spot before where I felt like I had to change for others to accept me.
I kept telling myself I had to stop being so negative all the time and just snap out of it.
HA.
Yeah… you can’t just snap out of depression. People who are forcing you to snap out of depression will only make you more depressed.
Own up to how you’re feeling and tell yourself you deserve to feel better again. Don’t be ashamed of how you feel.
Embrace it and take care of yourself. Go easy on the days when you don’t feel your best.
You don’t have to feel ok all the time. Some days are just going to suck. But that doesn’t mean your whole life sucks.
I hope this list of ideas for how to keep living your life when you have depression helped you in some way… and if you’d like to talk to a professional about it then here are some resources for you:
I also offer a support group on Facebook, and every member gets a free mental wellness kit. Join here.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Dec 25, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Gift Guides
Today I want to share my favorite books about mental health with you. These books have really helped me when I have gone through hard times.
Reading is one of the best things you can do for your mental health.
This is because of either increasing your knowledge about mental health and being more comfortable with the topic or finding someone you really relate to that makes you feel less alone.
These are the best books to read when depressed. And remember that you are not alone. You can chat with these therapists online for free at any time.
13 of the Best Books About Mental Health
I think that no matter what you’re currently going through, there’s a book for that. And everyone has their personal preference as to which books are best for them.
That’s why I put together this reading list based on the different levels you may be at.
Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, self-love, being more mindful, or just need simple reminders that you’re doing just fine, this booklist of the best books about mental health is for you.
Some of them teach you how to journal and meditate, others are fictional, but all of them provide inspiring and helpful ways you can start improving your mental health.
I will also update this list as time goes on, and feel free to let me know what other books you enjoy reading!
Radical Self Love by Gala Darling
If you are at a point where you don’t believe in yourself and aren’t sure what your purpose is, Radical Self Love walks you through this.
Gala Darling talks about her previous experience with an eating disorder and struggling to fully accept herself.
Now, she has written a book and travels all around the world teaching other women how to love themselves! She’s learned the best, most practical ways to focus on self-love so you can begin to live your best life.
Let it Out by Katie Dalebout
If you’re interested in learning how to journal your way to self-discovery, Let it Out by Katie Dalebout will teach you how to do that.
Discovering in her darkest hours that a journal is the greatest tool in finding your purpose, healing yourself, and creating the life you most desire, Katie has assembled the remarkable tools and insights that will elevate your life and get you “unstuck”—for good.
Rising Strong
I am definitely biased towards Brene Brown – especially Rising Strong – because it was what gave me hope during a moment of desperation in my life.
I felt alone and scared and didn’t think anyone knew what I was going through. This book does and it just validates all of the crap that’s going on in your head.
Brene Brown talks about getting into the arena and getting your ass kicked, and she’s right alongside you the whole time.
This is what one of the reviewers on Amazon had to say about it, which is 100% true about this book:
“Reading through Rising Strong gave me valuable techniques to draw on as I work through those experiences. It’s helped me work through some tough emotions and behavior patterns and provided me a way forward. I’d highly recommend this book to anyone dealing with some life-changing struggles, who needs some guidance on how to move forward, but also to anyone who wants to improve how they work through difficult situations.”
Just Listen by Sarah Dessen
Just Listen is a fictional book by author Sarah Dessen. It’s a coming-of-age story that talks about a lot of relatable topics, like eating disorders and dealing with perfection.
One of the readers on Amazon says, “It deals with issues most people wish to ignore as too intense or unpleasant and I learned a lot from it. I found this novel a surprisingly enjoyable and rewarding read”
Give this one a read the next time you want to dive into the fictional world with a relatable feel.
Anxiety & Phobia Workbook
This workbook is absolutely full of worksheets and chapters on overcoming anxiety.
I always recommend this to anyone who struggles with anxiety, because it goes over everything that causes anxiety.
It teaches you how to practically overcome it and how to identify your own triggers.
The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook is one of the most popular workbooks in mental health and many therapists recommend this to their patients.
The Grass Is Green Enough
The Grass Is Green Enough is a guided journal that walks you through complete acceptance. How often do you think “If only I had this, I’d be happy”?
We as humans will always believe the grass is greener on the other side. But, no matter where you’re at in life you can learn to enjoy what you already have.
With inspiring quotes and affirmations, this guided journal walks you towards positivity and happiness in your own life.
Life Inside My Mind
Your favorite YA authors including Ellen Hopkins, Maureen Johnson, and more recount their own experiences with mental illness in Life Inside My Mind, a raw, real, and powerful collection of essays that explores everything from ADD to PTSD.
Have you ever felt like you just couldn’t get out of bed? Not the occasional morning, but every day? Do you find yourself listening to a voice in your head that says “You’re not good enough,” “not good looking enough,” “not thin enough,” or “not smart enough”?
Have you ever found yourself unable to do homework or pay attention in class unless everything is “just so” on your desk? Everyone has had days like that, but what if you have them every day?
You’re not alone. Millions of people are going through similar things. However, issues around mental health still tend to be treated as something shrouded in shame or discussed in whispers.
It’s easier to have a broken bone–something tangible that can be “fixed”–than to have a mental illness, and easier to have a discussion about sex than it is to have one about mental health. Learn more about Life Inside My Mind here.
Nutrition Essentials for Mental Health
What you put into your body impacts your mental health.
From too much coffee or sugar to eating foods high in sodium. These can all contribute to feelings of anxiety and/or depression.
Nutrition Essentials for Mental Health talks about the food-mood connection and what nutrients are essential for optimum mental health.
Learn how what you eat can improve your mood you can begin to feel better in your everyday life.
Adventures for Your Soul
This book teaches you how to break out of old habits that aren’t serving you anymore.
Drawing from her own transformational experiences, Shannon Kaiser’s program utilizes an empowering process that encourages you to go on adventures for your soul so you can:
• Achieve your goals
• Remove limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging patterns
• Feel freedom from fear and live with purpose and passion
• Be unapologetic about your innermost desires
• And make happiness your natural way of life
Learn more about Adventures For Your Soul here.
Make it Happen
If you’re ready to stop letting fear hold you back and to change your life, Make it Happen is a great book to read.
Lara Casey talks all about how to live on purpose and awaken yourself.
Make It Happen is for
- women who find themselves worried, anxious, and completely overwhelmed by the constant chase for perfection
- those seeking the courage to jump into a new venture
- working women who are struggling to “do it all”
- weary wives and moms looking for relief from burning the candle at both ends
- anyone who dreams of a life lived not by accident but on purpose
Meditations To Heal Your Life
Meditating does wonders for your mental health. And best-selling author, Louise Hay provides a meditation for any situation you are currently going through.
This book is so helpful when it comes to quieting the voices in your head and reducing anxiety.
If you’re looking for a book on meditating and feeling more at peace, give Meditations To Heal Your Life a try.
You Can do All Things
Kate Allan is the author of You Can Do All Things. I found her through her popular Instagram page dedicated to animal drawings that provide words of encouragement to anyone struggling with mental health.
I recommend following her on Instagram and picking up her new book filled with affirmations and mindfulness techniques to help with anxiety & depression.
I LOVE this book because it’s light-hearted and is a good reminder to not feel ashamed of what you’re going through.
The Bell Jar
Last but definitely not least, the Bell Jar! I know this isn’t the happiest book for me to recommend, but I do think it is a great one.
The Bell Jar is a beautiful book written by the late Sylvia Plath, who herself struggled with mental illness.
This book gives you a real look into the perspective of someone truly dealing with mental health issues and provides dark humor to anyone who can relate.
I only recommend this book to those who aren’t deeply struggling with depression. Sometimes books like these can feed into your depression, making it worse.
So only read this one if you feel ready to, where your world around you is stable and you feel good about how things are going.
Read these books about mental health above if you are going through a difficult time, and save the Bell Jar for a lighter period in your life.
