Do you think you could stand to stop taking everything personally, a bit more? As human beings, it’s normal to take things personally every once in a while. We have egos that are sensitive at times.
If you’re finding that you’re taking everything personally, then it may be time to work on letting some things go.
Taking things personally can eventually lead to anxiety because you become so wrapped up in what other people think of you and how they treat you.
And if you’re an empath, it’s all too easy to take on other people’s emotions. We start to feel we aren’t good enough for the things we really want.
How to Stop Taking Everything Personally
If you are working hard at pursuing your dreams and then realize you can’t always get what you want, it’s very easy to assume it’s because something is wrong with you. Taking it personally is unfortunately natural. It's not always easy to just look the other way.
The thing I’ve learned about life is that it doesn’t always revolve around us. We want to believe it does, but life continues to move forward with or without you.
And learning to understand how to not take things so personally can benefit you in many ways.
When you let go of the unnecessary pressure you put on yourself, your anxiety will become lighter. You will start to forgive yourself more and have confidence in your actions. Confidence is a critical component to stop taking things personally.
I get that letting go of your own values and beliefs is difficult. For the longest time, I had strong beliefs about my own self.
- I couldn’t stop taking everything personally and placed my value in other people’s hands. a Lot of people made me feel inferior and I started to take anything personally, and I would value the opinions of someone else more than I value myself. I tried to hide from any situation where I thought people might have something to say .
As you can imagine, I went through a very difficult phase of my life that involved losing who I was to learn how to become who I actually am.
That meant letting go of the feeling that everything was my fault. I stopped blaming myself for things I couldn’t control. I let go of the things that just weren’t in the cards for me.
And I started to forgive my past for what had happened to me. The things that felt like the world was out to get me.
Once this happened, a huge weight fell off my shoulders. I want to teach you how to do the same.
5 Steps To Stop Taking Everything Personally
Table of Contents
1. Become Aware of What You Can & Can’t Control
Often, we think we can control certain situations or people. We think we can “fix” someone because we have the ability to care so much.
In reality, you can’t change other people. And some situations are out of your control.
Knowing where to draw the line is tricky, but once you figure it out you can then start to separate yourself from the situation. Instead of letting it become personal.
Some people feel like they are being too selfish if they choose to let someone go.
That’s just because you care a lot. But, in order to take care of yourself and live a better life you have to draw some boundaries within your life.
- The same thing goes for setting realistic goals. We can think we will become a millionaire within a year, but it’s not very realistic.
Start getting real with yourself. It’s easy to stay in a constant state of drama within your life, and you can feed into the thoughts that say, “I don’t deserve happiness.” “I’m not good enough.”
This all starts with you. And if you are sick of feeling that way, listen to that pain and allow it to be the driving factor to change it.
2. Believe in Yourself
Taking things personally has a direct hit on your self-esteem. It would only make sense to practice having more faith in yourself.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. So… why allow others to define who you truly are?
We place our self-worth in how successful we are, what relationships we have, or how much money we have. And when you evaluate your life and realize you haven’t accomplished all that you wanted to, it’s easy to start to blame yourself.
Feeling worse about where your life is at, instead of embracing how far you have come.
A mindset change is usually all it takes to start feeling better about yourself. And that inner critic voice becomes a little quieter.
Believing in yourself takes time and only comes when you are willing to work at it. You can finally decide to let go of the “feeling sorry for yourself” and move forward.
When you put yourself first, you will then begin to believe in yourself. And slowly you will build up the confidence to stop questioning everything you do.
Then, you will let go of taking everything so personally. Because you will believe in yourself enough to know that it’s not always about you. And no matter what happens to you, it won’t crush you every time something bad happens.
3. Process What is Bothering You, Then Let it Go
There may have been times where you speak out about what is bothering you, and someone told you to “just let it go” and move on.
This is good advice, but if you aren’t allowed to actually process what is bothering you, you won’t be able to let it go.
Instead, you will just suppress it and pretend it doesn’t bother you anymore.
This will only cause you to feel worse, and more sensitive to the things around you. And suppressing your feeling can make you feel anxious.
Think about what is really bothering you, or the moments where you do take things a little too personally.
- Ask yourself, why? Why is this getting to you so much?
- Really work hard at taking a few minutes to understand what it is.
Once you come up with an answer (no matter what it is), then you can begin to let it go.
- Imagine putting that thought into a balloon and releasing it into the air, letting it disappear.
This helps because you begin to understand yourself more and you learn why certain things stick to you.
Once you understand it, you can ask yourself why you’re allowing this to affect your life as much as it is. Then, you can work on letting it go.
It takes practice but recognizing how and why you feel the way you do helps you get to the root of the problem.
4. Remember That Other People Are Way More Focused on Themselves
No matter what you may believe in your mind, other people care way more about themselves than they do you.
Which means you are free to do more in life than you already are. We often try too hard to please others and to avoid criticism, so we can fit inside the lines.
What I’ve come to learn, however, is that other people don’t really pay that much attention.
Not as closely as I thought they did. And once I came to this realization, I started to let go of the pressure I thought their opinions held.
Other people are worried about what you are thinking of them. Or how they come across. And yes, other people also take things way too personally sometimes.
You’re not alone in a lot of the things that you feel. It’s just hard to see because we all are good at hiding our insecurities.
We don’t want to be a burden on other people, so we pretend we are ok.
The truth is, everyone has insecurities and issues within themselves. If you can remember this, it's easier to stop taking things personally.
5. So What, Someone Somewhere is Waiting for You
There will always be people reviewing your art, your poems, your cakes, your store (or even your blog…) – and they might shrug and say “yeah, I don't like that”. This is such a common situation, and all people face this
It's so easy to fall into the trap of taking things personally. People And to almost jump to conclusions that what people think or what someone says might actually be true. This usually have a direct impact on our self esteem and we start to doubt ourself and our abilities.
We need to learn how to identify when something someone says, triggers this feeling that we are not good enough. When that is triggered we need to realize what people think does not matter. Just ask yourself, so what? So what if they believe your cake is a flop or your blog is garbage. What people think or say is more a reflection on them not on you.
What you should never forget is that somewhere out there, someone would absolutely love your poem, your blog, your cake or whatever you are selling. So stop your mind before it can jump to conclusions, and take the time to think and realize that you don't need the approval of anyone but yourself.
You are the only person whose opinion matters. as that would help you to stop taking things personally.
For a great practical guide how to not take things personally see this blog from Christine Kane.
Why do I take things so personally?
There are so many reasons why you would take it personally. Most often the no.1 reason why you take it personally could be from the way you were raised by your parents.
Have your parents ever allowed you to laugh at yourself or when you make a mistake? Or were you told to not act silly and be more serious? There is no right or wrong here or any judgement, these are just observations from many studies over the years.
Have you been laughed at in school or bullied? This is usually one of the biggest causes of people taking things personally. Nobody likes that feeling of a classroom of acne faced teens laughing at you. The major problem at this stage of your life is that it is easy to jump to conclusions and most of the times the wrong conclusions. It starts building up layer upon layer. Someone says something about you behind your back, and immediately you feel like people think the worst of you, and you start to think that maybe they are all right, and the little voice inside your mind is wrong.
Taking things personally is a very difficult behaviour to change, especially if you already suffer from low self esteem. It s like a snowball growing larger and faster, and with it your self esteem actually becomes even lower.
Why are there certain people, friends or family that no matter what happens to them, they do not take it personally. Although taking things personally is something that can be taught
How to Not Take Things Personally – Conclusion
Once you get a different perspective on things, you can start to see that nothing in your life is all that personal.
You don't need other people's approval or opinion to define your own happiness. If you are waiting for someone else and their opinions or approval to become happy, then you are seriously missing out.
Don't be afraid to take chances, and don't take anything for granted. Try to see it as a journey or an adventure. Look at any situation and don't try and over analyse it. People are weird and there will always be something that someone love or hate. That is what makes our life interesting.
Life moves on so quickly and what seems like a big deal right now won’t be an issue 3 weeks from now (most likely).
If you really want to stop taking things personally, start by focusing more on yourself. Let go of what others think about you, because at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter.
You should want to have people in your life who support you, and anyone who doesn’t do that doesn’t deserve to have a say in what you do.
Work on believing in yourself more and everything else will fall into place. Have your back so that you can keep a level head whenever things start to offend you. You can brush it off instead of letting it ruin your whole day.