Autism in women has long been misunderstood and overlooked. Recent research sheds light on the unique ways autism presents in females, revealing a complex tapestry of symptoms that often differ from those traditionally associated with the condition. This increased awareness has an impact on early detection, support, and quality of life for women on the spectrum, making it more critical than ever to understand and recognize the signs of autism in women.
As we delve into this topic, we’ll explore the challenges of unmasking autism in women, the effects of late or missed diagnoses, and the pathways to identification. We’ll also discuss how women with autism can thrive and lead fulfilling lives with the proper support and understanding. By the end of this article, readers will have a better grasp of autism in women, from recognizing symptoms to finding resources and building a supportive community.
Unmasking Autism in Women
The Camouflage Effect
Autism in women often goes undetected due to a phenomenon known as camouflaging or masking. This involves consciously or unconsciously suppressing natural autistic responses to fit in with societal expectations. Women on the autism spectrum may develop complex strategies to hide their social difficulties, making it challenging for healthcare professionals to recognize their autism [1].
Camouflaging can take various forms, such as mimicking facial expressions, forcing eye contact, or rehearsing social behaviors. While these techniques may help autistic women navigate social situations, they come at a significant cost. The constant effort to mask their true selves can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, depression, and even autistic burnout [2].
Social Expectations and Pressures
Society often places higher social demands on women, expecting them to be adept at relationship-building skills from an early age. This creates additional challenges for women on the autism spectrum, as the social gaps between non-autistic and autistic females are typically more significant than those between their male counterparts [3].
Autistic women may find it challenging to maintain long-term friendships or relationships despite having similar levels of social motivation as non-autistic women. They may struggle with conflict in social relationships and face unique pressures to conform to particular expressions of femininity [4].
Internal vs. External Manifestations
The presentation of autism in women can differ significantly from the traditional male-centric model. While autistic men may display more external behaviors, women often internalize their struggles. This internal manifestation can lead to misdiagnosis or underdiagnosis, as healthcare professionals may not recognize these subtle signs of autism [5].
Autistic women may experience intense emotions and sensations but have difficulty expressing them in socially acceptable ways. For example, an autistic woman might have a blank facial expression while experiencing intense emotions, leading others to misinterpret her as cold or uncaring [6].
The internal nature of these experiences can result in increased anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Unfortunately, these co-occurring conditions may mask underlying autistic characteristics, further complicating the diagnostic process [4].
It’s crucial to recognize that autism in women is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Each individual’s journey is unique, and understanding the diverse ways autism can manifest in women is essential for early detection and appropriate support. By raising awareness about the camouflage effect, social pressures, and internal manifestations of autism in women, we can work towards a more inclusive and supportive environment for all individuals on the autism spectrum.
The Impact of Undiagnosed Autism
Mental Health Challenges
Undiagnosed autism in women can have a significant impact on mental health. Many autistic women who receive a late diagnosis or remain undiagnosed face a higher risk of developing mental health conditions. Research shows that 32% of autistic women are hospitalized for a psychiatric condition by age 25 [7]. This statistic highlights the urgent need for early detection and support.
The lack of understanding and proper diagnosis can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure. Many autistic women blame themselves for a lifetime of struggling and being abused, attributing these experiences to personal failings [8]. This self-blame can contribute to the development of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.
Relationships and Social Life
Autism in women can significantly affect relationships and social interactions. Autistic women often experience difficulties in forming and maintaining friendships and romantic partnerships. The constant effort to mask autistic traits to fit in with societal expectations can lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout [9].
Many autistic women report feeling vulnerable in social situations, particularly when it comes to sexual relationships. The challenges in interpreting social cues and understanding others’ intentions can make them more susceptible to abuse and exploitation [10]. This vulnerability is often linked to difficulties with social inference skills, making it harder to navigate complex social situations.
Undiagnosed autism can present significant challenges in educational and professional settings. Many autistic women struggle with learning because their brains process information differently. One autistic woman shared, “If the work didn’t interest me, my brain just didn’t understand” [11]. This difficulty can lead to underperformance in academic settings and missed opportunities for career advancement.
In the workplace, autistic women often face unique challenges. They may struggle with social nuances, workplace communication, and sensory sensitivities, making office environments challenging to navigate [9]. These difficulties can lead to underemployment or mismatched employment, where individuals need help utilizing their skills and training.
The lack of understanding and support in educational and professional settings can have long-lasting effects on an autistic woman’s career trajectory and overall well-being. Many autistic women report feeling misunderstood and unsupported in their workplaces, leading to increased stress and potential job loss.
Understanding the impact of undiagnosed autism in women is crucial for developing better support systems and interventions. By recognizing the unique challenges faced by autistic women in mental health, relationships, and career development, we can work towards creating more inclusive and supportive environments that allow them to thrive.
Pathways to Identification
Self-assessment Tools
Self-assessment tools can be a helpful starting point for women who suspect they might be on the autism spectrum. These tools are designed to identify behaviors and abilities associated with autism in women. One such tool is the Girls Questionnaire for Autism Spectrum Condition (GQ-ASC), which has been modified for use with adult women [12]. This questionnaire covers imagination, play, camouflaging, sensory sensitivities, socializing, and interests.
Other self-assessment tools include the Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) and the Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q). The AQ is a popular screening tool, but it’s important to note that it may be less effective for individuals with highly developed masking skills [13]. The CAT-Q measures explicitly the level of autistic camouflaging, which is often more prevalent in women [13].
Professional Diagnosis Process
While self-assessment tools can be informative, a professional diagnosis is crucial for accessing appropriate support and resources. The diagnostic process for autism in women typically involves a comprehensive evaluation by healthcare professionals. This may include neuropsychological assessments, interviews, and observations [14].
However, it’s essential to recognize that the current diagnostic tools and criteria have historically been based on male presentations of autism. This can lead to challenges in accurately identifying autism in women, as they may present differently [15]. For instance, women with autism often demonstrate fewer socio-communication difficulties than men on standard assessment measures despite having similar levels of childhood autistic traits [16].
Overcoming Stereotypes and Biases
One of the significant barriers to identifying autism in women is the prevalence of stereotypes and biases. Autism has long been perceived as a predominantly male condition, which can lead to systematic discrimination against autistic females [17]. These biases can affect how healthcare professionals, educators, and even family members interpret autistic traits in women.
To overcome these biases, it’s crucial to raise awareness about the diverse presentations of autism across genders. This includes recognizing that autistic women may have different behavioral exemplars of core autistic characteristics [15]. For example, while an autistic man might have a singular, intense interest, an autistic woman might have multiple interests that change over time.
Additionally, understanding the concept of camouflaging or masking is vital. Many autistic women report high levels of camouflaging, which can make their autistic traits less obvious in clinical settings [15]. This can lead to later diagnoses or misdiagnoses, particularly if co-occurring mental health conditions are present.
By addressing these stereotypes and biases, we can work towards more accurate and timely diagnoses for women on the autism spectrum. This, in turn, can lead to better support and understanding, allowing autistic women to thrive and live authentically.
Thriving with Autism
Developing Coping Strategies
For women with autism, developing effective coping strategies is crucial for managing daily challenges and improving overall well-being. One critical approach is to recognize and understand individual triggers and patterns. By recording sensory experiences and triggers, autistic women can adapt their routines to avoid unique stressors [18]. This self-awareness can be empowering and help build emotional resilience.
Mindful movements like yoga, tai chi, or dancing can benefit autistic women. These activities fulfill the need for repetition and sensory feedback, combat restlessness, and safely engage multiple senses [18]. They also provide an opportunity for nonverbal communication and self-expression, which can be especially valuable for those who struggle with traditional social interactions.
Occupational therapy (OT) is another valuable resource for developing coping strategies. OT uses a holistic approach to promote and maintain various functional life skills. One autistic woman described her occupational therapist as an “idea generator/expert troubleshooter” who helped her manage sensory difficulties and self-harm behaviors [18].
Finding Your Tribe
Building a supportive community is essential for thriving with autism, but many autistic women struggle with making and maintaining social connections. Online communities have become vital for connecting with others who share similar experiences. Platforms like the Autistic Self Advocacy Network, Autistic Women and Nonbinary Network, and Spectrum Women provide opportunities for autistic women to connect with others worldwide [18].
These online spaces offer a sense of belonging and understanding that may be difficult to find in traditional social settings. They allow autistic women to share experiences, exchange coping strategies, and find emotional support from others who empathize with their challenges.
For those seeking in-person connections, organizations like Friend in Me offer social groups that connect individuals with disabilities to neurotypical volunteers through online games and conversations [19]. Additionally, The Autism Project (TAP) provides social skills groups led by professionals for various age groups, including teens and young adults [19].
Celebrating Neurodiversity
Embracing and celebrating neurodiversity is a crucial step in thriving with autism. This involves recognizing that neurological differences are a natural part of human diversity and that there is no one “right” way of thinking, learning, or behaving [20]. By adopting this perspective, autistic women can shift from viewing their differences as deficits to appreciating their unique strengths and abilities.
Neurodiversity Celebration Week, founded by Siena Castellon, aims to change how neurodivergent people are perceived and allow organizations to celebrate neurodivergent talent [20]. This event highlights the importance of focusing on the strengths and talents of autistic individuals rather than solely on challenges.
Research shows that neurodiverse teams can be 30% more productive than others, and neurotypical people report higher morale when working with neurodivergent colleagues [20]. By embracing their neurodiversity, autistic women can contribute their unique perspectives and skills to various settings, including the workplace and social environments.
Conclusion
As our understanding of autism in women continues to grow, so does our ability to provide better support and resources. The journey of unmasking autism in women, from early detection to thriving with neurodiversity, is a testament to the resilience and strength of individuals on the spectrum. By raising awareness, challenging stereotypes, and embracing neurodiversity, we create a more inclusive world where autistic women can flourish and contribute their unique perspectives.
Remember, if you’re an autistic woman or suspect you might be on the spectrum, you’re not alone. There’s a whole community out there ready to support you. The world is becoming more understanding of neurodiversity, and that’s something to celebrate. Please share this article with anyone who will find it helpful, and keep exploring, learning, and living your best life.After all, autism is simply a different way of being wired, and that’s perfectly okay.
FAQs
1. How can early detection of autism be beneficial?
Early detection of autism facilitates early intervention, which includes therapies that enhance communication and social skills. This proactive approach can significantly improve the quality of life for individuals as they grow older.
2. What are effective ways to support an autistic woman?
Supporting an autistic woman involves several key actions: believing in her capabilities, consistently expressing love and support, educating her on social interactions, ensuring she does not feel defective, respecting her individuality, discussing various topics openly, including sensitive ones like sexuality, and helping her connect with a community of autistic individuals.
3. What are the characteristics of high-functioning autism in adult women?
Adult women with high-functioning autism often exhibit a profound ability to understand and empathize with others’ emotions, sometimes to the extent of feeling emotionally overwhelmed. This high level of empathy, usually viewed as a traditionally feminine trait, can mask other difficulties they face.
4. Why are many autistic girls not diagnosed?
Autistic girls often remain undiagnosed because their symptoms can differ from the traditional stereotypes of autistic behavior. For instance, while repetitive movements like hand flapping are commonly recognized as signs of autism, they might not be as prevalent or noticeable in girls, leading to fewer diagnoses.
There is no doubt that anxiety can be a horrible thing to deal with it but it is actually very common and there are ways that you can manage it and have a happy life. You might feel like you are being suffocated right now but that is not a feeling that will last forever. These anxiety tips have been put together with you in mind so start putting them into practice today, and you will notice a big difference in your mental health in no time.
1 – Take Care of Yourself
Sometimes when you get anxious thoughts, it can be easy to reach for things that are bad for you in order to try and feel better, but that is only going to make the anxiety worse. If you tend to comfort eat or drink too much alcohol to deal with your anxiety – stop and incorporate healthier habits into your life instead. Not only is it bad for you to over-indulge in unhealthy foods and alcohol, it can actually increase your anxiety. You may not realize it, but if you “treat” yourself to feel “better”, it can be a reinforcer for the anxiety since your mind knows that it will enjoy what comes after. Eating nutritious food and exercising regularly can be very beneficial for your mind as well as your body. These good habits will make you feel better in the long run. It’s all about switching your bad habits (we all have them!) for good ones.
2 – Keep a Journal
Overthinking and anxiety go hand in hand but that is not going to be beneficial if you are constantly turning things over in your mind. Journaling is one of the best tools for helping you deal with overthinking and ruminating. These thoughts need to go somewhere. If you have a lot that you want to get out, journalling can actually be super beneficial. Whether it’s as simple as writing your mood, about your day, or your worries – keeping a journal that you spend as little as 10 minutes writing in every single day can make such a positive impact on your life. Sometimes it even helps you to find out things you didn’t even realize were bugging you or on your mind until you end up writing it down with a flow of thought.
3 – Think Positive and Practice Gratitude
People with anxiety often get stuck in a negative mindset that can be extremely hard to break and get out of. It is really important that you start looking at things differently but that is easier said than done of course. A good way to get started in changing your way of thinking is to practice gratitude. You can write down one thing every day that you are grateful for or better yet, you can say it out loud as an affirmation in the mirror. It doesn’t have to be anything mind-blowing every day, it could be something as simple as your morning coffee but you have to think of something!
4 – Face Your Issues
If you have anxiety, it could be very broad or it could be about something in particular. Many people with the condition automatically want to run away from their problems but guess what? That will just make your anxious thoughts worse! Perhaps you are anxious about work or school; focus on these areas. If your anxiety is around your relationship or friendship, perhaps some tough conversations need to be had and some even tougher decisions need to be made. All of this isn’t going to be easy of course but look deep inside so that you can figure out what your internal issues are and try to deal with them in the way you know you need to.
5 – Find a Hobby that Makes You Happy
It is likely that you are in your head a lot and keeping yourself busy with something you enjoy is key if you want to start enjoying life again. You might already have a hobby but if not, find something that you really enjoy doing and focus on motivating yourself that way. That could be anything from running, dancing, writing, gaming, traveling, photography, or taking a class to learn something new. When you do something that you enjoy, your mood is instantly lifted and that is what you need right now. Starting a hobby and finding something that you are truly passionate about is not only good for your mental health in general, but it also helps reduce anxiety.
6 – Get an Anxiety Action Plan
Having an anxiety action plan is essential when anxiety becomes a regular occurrence in your life. When you are hit with anxiety, if you don’t have the right tools to manage it, you’re left with more anxiety and more stress. Being proactive is the best thing to do for yourself. Anxiety Action Plan is a great tool to use so you can go through the step-by-step program with an ebook and workbook. You deserve to be happy rather than fearing your next anxiety attack.
7 – Talk to Someone
It is so important that you do not leave your anxious thoughts festering inside you because this tends to make anxiety worse. Although sharing your worries isn’t always easy, it is important that you do it. Talk to friends or family members about your anxiety, somebody you truly trust to be there for you. For people struggling with anxiety, having a trusted professional therapist or counselor has been extremely helpful to many. There are many choices, including online professionals if you’re too busy to miss work or drive to appointments.
Conclusion
No matter how long you have had anxiety, there is always hope ahead. Trying to ignore the anxiety and the disruption it causes in your life usually compounds the problem so you are already headed in the right direction by searching for solutions. It can be a battle but it’s worth it to do the work and learn how to manage anxiety. Using the tips in this article will help and staying informed is always to your advantage.
Confidence is the key to success. Building confidence comes naturally when you feel good about yourself and believe in your abilities.
If you don’t have confidence, it can be hard to take on new challenges or try something new that might make you feel uncomfortable. It’s all about finding ways how to boost confidence and self-esteem and build up your self-belief to succeed in all aspects of your life.
1. Learn That Not Everyone Will Like You
We’re going to let you in on a little secret – not everyone is going to like you. There are some people who might think that you’re rude, uninteresting, boring, or just plain unlikeable. Even if they don’t say it directly (and most won’t), they will probably think it.
So what? Why should this bother you? The answer is simple: because it shouldn’t! People who dislike others for arbitrary reasons (like the color of their hair) are insecure and unhappy. They need someone else in order to feel okay about themselves. So when they don’t get their way, they get angry and lash out at others instead of taking responsibility for their own shortcomings.
You should never try to please everyone because doing so will make it impossible for anyone to really know who you really are or what makes up your personality as a whole person with strengths and weaknesses alike.
2. Report Your Inner Critic
To report your inner critic, ask yourself: “What is the voice in my head saying right now?” This is a question you can ask yourself anytime, anywhere. It’s also one that will help you to gain insight into what exactly your inner critic is up to on any given day. You might think this sounds easy and obvious, but it’s actually quite difficult for many people, who tend not to be very aware of their own thoughts and feelings.
So we often need some help before we can identify these internal voices with any precision or clarity! The good news is that there are some simple techniques that can help us get better at knowing ourselves better – which includes knowing when our own self-talk isn’t serving us well.
3. Believe in Yourself
Believing in yourself is a key part of success. You need to believe that you can achieve your goals, or else you won’t go near them. You also need to believe in yourself for the long term, rather than just for one day or week. If your self-esteem is low and you don’t believe in yourself at all, then it’s unlikely that anyone else will either! So start believing in yourself today and tell others about how amazing you are too!
4. Set Attainable Goals
Goals are great! They give you something to strive for, and they can keep you motivated when times get tough. The key is to make sure your goals are realistic. Don’t set yourself up for failure by trying to do too much at once or taking on something that’s just not possible within the time frame you’ve given yourself.
5. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
One of the easiest ways to boost your confidence and self-esteem is to stop comparing yourself to others. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve accomplished in life, there will always be someone else whose life looks better than yours. You could be the richest person in town, but if that person next door has a nicer car, or vacations more often than you do, then all bets are off.
Think about it: do you like being around people who constantly talk about how much better everything is for them? Of course not! Why should we even expect ourselves to be any different?
When we compare ourselves with others, we’re bound to come up short and feel less confident because of it. But when we focus on our own strengths and weaknesses in an honest way, then our confidence can grow without comparison getting in the way!
6. Do Things You Are Good At
If you want to boost your confidence and self-esteem, do things that make you feel good. This might sound silly, but it really works. If you can do something that makes you feel successful, or like you’re making a difference in the world (even if it’s small), then that is going to give you more motivation and energy.
Even better – when you take on challenges in which there are many variables at play and no one is sure how it will turn out, that feeling of uncertainty can actually be positive!
7. Don’t Give in to Your Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are often our biggest obstacle. They’re like little voices that tell us we can’t do something, or that we aren’t good enough for something. If you could hear the things your limiting beliefs are saying to yourself, we guarantee they would be pretty harsh. Limiting beliefs can become so ingrained in us that sometimes we don’t even realize they exist anymore!
One way to get rid of your limiting beliefs is by challenging them with positive ones – ones that are more realistic and motivating. But if you’re not sure how to go about this process, here’s an example.
Say one of your limiting beliefs is “I’m not smart enough.” Maybe it’s because people have told you this before or maybe it’s because someone else has dealt with a similar situation. Whatever the reason might be, challenging this belief will help bring more positivity into your life by making room for better ones such as “I’m smart enough” or even “I am a genius.”
Takeaway
We’re all human, and we all have moments when we feel like our confidence is lacking. But there are ways to boost it fast, and your self-esteem will thank you for it! Take a moment now to think of one thing that makes you proud of your self-esteem. Perhaps it’s something as simple as eating healthy food or having time alone each day.
You can even take advantage of personal development courses like the Refine Your Life Purpose and Wellness Course Bundle. These small things can build up over time, so don’t be afraid to start with something easy and move on to bigger goals later on!
Let’s face it: we all want to be more confident. As a woman, being self-assured is a trait that most people search for their entire lives.
Even if you don’t like the idea of being the life of every party or walking into a room with heads turning, confidence can help you earn respect from those around you and give your self-esteem a boost as well as boost performance in almost every activity you do. Even though confidence seems like an intangible quality, it is actually made up of many components that anyone can learn and utilize in order to become more confident on any given day.
So where does one start?
There are lots of strategies available for self-confidence. Here are 11 tried-and-tested ones that you can try for yourself:
11 Activities Women Can Use for Building Confidence
1. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
This one is all about perspective.
When you are busy putting other people’s lives on a pedestal, you are essentially denying the wonderful person that you are and making yourself seem less significant in comparison to their greatness.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, why not concentrate on your own journey? Celebrate what makes you unique instead of tearing yourself down because someone else does it better than you do – remember that everyone has different strengths! Once you begin focusing on this positive mindset, confidence will come easier to you naturally.
2. Accept Compliments With A Smile And Say ‘Thank You’
We all know the phrase: modesty is a virtue. And while it may be true, you don’t have to become so modest that you always brush off people’s compliments as being untrue.
Even if you have your doubts about what someone says about you, learn to accept those words with grace and a warm smile instead of dismissing them or adding a disclaimer along the lines of “Oh, but I haven’t done anything to deserve this compliment…”
By brushing away kind words from others, you are essentially telling yourself that their praise isn’t worth much. After all, if their opinions matter so little to us, why should we care? Always thank a person when they give you a compliment – in any situation! You will be surprised by the difference it makes.
3. Make Eye Contact During Conversations But Don’t Forget To Listen
As a woman, when talking to someone, make sure to maintain eye contact with them for most of the conversation. It shows that you are paying attention and care about what they have to say.
However, don’t forget to listen as well! If your partner in the conversation has something important to add, do not ignore their words because you were too busy looking elsewhere while they spoke.
We all lose focus from time to time however, make sure that doesn’t happen during an important discussion or when one of your friends needs you.
Maintain eye contact, but also work at maintaining focus.
4. Dress to Impress (Yourself)
By dressing the part, you are essentially telling yourself that you can do anything.
When you look good, your brain tells itself that you are ready to take on any challenge that comes your way. And wearing something comfortable, will also boost your confidence because who wants to let anxiety get in the way of looking fabulous?
So next time you have a big presentation at work or want to feel more confident, make sure to dress for success – it works!
5. Fake It & ‘Til You Make It
We’ve all heard the phrase before, fake it ’til you make it.
For many people who struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy, acting as though they possess confidence can be a helpful way to become more confident in the long term.
So instead of getting stuck in a rut because you doubt your abilities, start faking it until you actually feel it! Your body language will change and people will begin taking notice. Before you know it, your true self will come shining through and all those around you will see how amazing you really are.
6. Keep A Journal About All The Things You Love About Yourself
As the old saying goes: if you don’t love yourself then no one else can love you either. So why not take some time for yourself every day and write down all the things that make YOU unique?
If you are anything like us, there are probably dozens of reasons why you are amazing. Start this journal as a way to recognize all the things that make you an incredible person!
Once you start doing this on a daily basis, your confidence will flourish because instead of letting your insecurities hold you back, you will be able to let them go – one by one.
7. Practice Meditation To Clear Your Mind
Meditation is an incredibly helpful practice for anyone struggling with anxiety or stress. It can be difficult at first but over time you will notice reduced feelings of worry and negativity because meditation helps clear your mind so no more thoughts have room to run wild inside it.
This practice may take some getting used to, but it is well worth the effort because meditation brings you one step closer to inner peace.
8. Get To Know Yourself More By Writing A Self-Esteem Letter
Another great way of boosting your confidence and self-worth is by writing a letter to yourself!
Take some time every day and try writing down all of the best things about you and why they matter so much to those around you, whether that’s your partner, parents, or friends.
Think of this as an assignment: reread your letter as many times as needed until you begin feeling better about yourself. Nobody else needs to see this list, so don’t worry about sharing it with others just yet – just focus on what makes you special!
9. Give Yourself A Compliment Everyday
This is another simple yet effective way to boost your confidence and make yourself feel good about the things you already do every day.
Every night before bed, write down one thing that you love about yourself or did well throughout the day. It could be something as small as paying off a bill on time or making it to work on time without hitting any traffic.
Then once you finish writing down everything that makes you great, tuck it away somewhere safe where no one else can see until tomorrow’s list is ready for writing! Keep this up every day and soon enough, your list will have some very long entries because there are so many qualities that make you so special.
10. Let Go Of Things That Aren’t Going To Make You Happy
In order to feel good about yourself and be confident in who you are, you have to believe that your life is worth living – which means taking steps every day to remove the things from your life that don’t make you happy anymore.
For example, one or two relationships may not be working out the way we thought they would, and holding on to them can be detrimental if it begins making us unhappy instead of happy. So cut ties with those people and surround yourself with those who make you feel good about yourself and help you grow.
11. Set Goals And Be Grateful For Everything You Accomplish
For some, setting goals can be an incredibly daunting task.
However, we promise you, that even if you’re someone who doesn’t typically set short-term or long-term goals for yourself, it will be well worth it in the end when you start seeing all of your hard work pay off.
Every time you accomplish something that is important to you, write it down and add it to a running list of everything that makes you happy and everything that inspires you; this will also give weight to how much progress is being made by you which helps fuel your motivation to continue on the path of success.
Another thing that can really help with this is if you frame each goal with a positive affirmation, like “I Am Grateful” or “I Am Confident” – doing this will make it easier to embrace all the things you are capable of and help keep yourself accountable for achieving them!
Wrapping up
All of these tips can help build your confidence as a woman. This is because as you become happier with yourself, the more confident you will become too – even if it does take a little extra time and effort!
A lot of where we are in life has to do with our own personal levels of confidence and self-esteem. Self-esteem is simply confidence in one’s worth and abilities. When we are low in self-esteem, we tend to doubt our abilities and question our value. However, when self-esteem is high, a person feels empowered and capable of having whatever their heart desires.
It’s no secret that our life is a result of what we do. And, our actions are a result of how we think and how we feel. Moreover, when someone doesn’t think highly of themselves, there is a tendency to settle for a life of mediocrity. To be clear, living in mediocrity has less to do with living a minimalist life and more to do with settling for things you don’t truly want out of fear.
It’s important for us to know what we want for ourselves, what makes us fulfilled. For example, you may dream of having your very own hair salon. However, you may also struggle with low self-esteem and self-doubt. Thus, out of fear, you don’t pursue that dream. Instead, you choose to settle for something you deem a bit more “practical”.
All women should understand that confidence has the ability to lift the weight off your shoulders and make the unattainable look tangible. What appears impossible starts to look very probable as we begin to feel more capable in our abilities.
Such confidence and self-assurance should be instilled from childhood to ensure a very healthy, productive, and self-sufficient, adult life. However, such experiences don’t always pan out that way especially when dealing with generational trauma. In this case, a scarcity mindset and low self-esteem are things that can be passed down.
While we can’t select all of the experiences we have in life, we can surely choose how we want to respond to these experiences.
To improve self-esteem, we must have self-accountability. If you’re a woman looking to boost your confidence and self-esteem, it’s important to understand the signs of low self-esteem, the importance of having confidence, and tips to help you boost your confidence.
Where Low Self-Esteem Comes From
A struggle with low self-esteem can come from many different places. Here are a few examples.
Toxic Dating Relationships
Toxic relationships have the ability to deteriorate our self-esteem. Such relationships entail abusive language, physical abuse, betrayal, trust issues, and co-dependency. None of these things exemplify love nor is it healthy to entertain.
Unsupportive Parents
Perhaps we didn’t hear the encouraging words we needed to hear from our parents. This lack of approval and recognition is something that can stick with us for a long time. Without encouragement and support, one can grow up with a lot of self-doubt, questioning their ability to accomplish certain tasks.
Childhood Abuse & Neglect
Childhood abuse and neglect are major factors that contribute to low self-esteem. While a large part of how others treat us is dependent upon how we treat ourselves, it wasn’t always like this. As children growing up, how others treated us determined how we’d treat ourselves including ourselves. In cases of childhood abuse and neglect, a child may internalize this treatment as something normal.
Bullying
When we’re younger, we are especially sensitive to the harsh words others project onto us. It is why children often internalize these harsh words. In the fragile mind of a growing child, these words often solidify as belief systems when left to fester.
But bullying can happen in our adult lives too such as in the workplace.
Negative People
Constantly being around negative people is a sure way to minimize one’s self-esteem. The subconscious mind is like a sponge that soaks up everything it hears and sees. When around people who complain about hardship all the time, we are more likely to share these feelings and victim mindset.
Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to another can make us question our worth. This can be especially dangerous when aspiring to have things that don’t make you happy. It’s like trying to squeeze into a shoe that isn’t your size and then crying about it. We are all different. Avoidance of acknowledging one’s uniqueness is one way to diminish self-esteem.
Unrealistic Expectations
Living for others is not only disingenuous to one’s self but it is also frustrating. Everyone has their own ideas regarding success, happiness, and fulfillment. And, it doesn’t always look the same. When we try to meet other peoples’ expectations of us, we find ourselves living a life that isn’t authentic. Instead, it becomes burdensome trying to maintain a facade.
Traumatic Events
Issues of low self-esteem usually begin at a tender age. Traumatic events can trigger these things. For example, children often blame themselves when witnessing parental conflicts such as fighting or divorce. Many kids believe these occurrences are at their own fault. This places a major burden on a child where they feel like they’re the root cause of the turmoil and chaos.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
Here are some of the common signs of low self-esteem:
Avoidance of Trying New Things
Feeling Lonely and Unwanted
Fear of Failure
Unable to Accept Compliments
Self-Deprecating Humor
Unmotivated
Comparing One’s Self to Others
Staying in Unhealthy Relationships
Self-Sabotaging
Anxiety and/or Depression
If you recognize these signs and symptoms in yourself, the following tips can help you take steps towards improving your self-esteem and growing confidence.
Self-Esteem Tips for Women
Forgive Yourself
Guilt, resentment, and regret are all feelings that carry a heavy weight. Boost confidence and improve self-esteem by forgiving yourself first. We should forgive ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made in life and choose to do better. These few decisions do not define us. It is what we choose to do afterward that is a true depiction of who we are.
Identify the Source of Pain
Where is the pain? By identifying the source of our issues with confidence, we can begin to forgive others and forgive ourselves. Knowing this information is key to understanding self-defeatist habits and thought processes.
Forgive Others
Animosity and grudges towards others are also burdensome. It requires a lot of energy to hold onto conflict. Forgive others to relieve yourself of that weight. The act of forgiveness frees us to accept better things into our lives without self-sabotaging good opportunities.
Practice Self-Love
Self-love is a belief and lifestyle which prioritizes self-improvement. By practicing self-love every day, we see our lives transform as our self-perception shifts into a more loving place. Self-love makes us more compassionate towards ourselves. Examples of self-love activities include the tips listed here to boost confidence and improve self-esteem.
Recite Positive Affirmations
Replace Self-Deprecation with Self-Empowerment by reciting positive affirmations. As previously stated, the subconscious mind is like a sponge. It can also be seen as a garden. Women should water their minds with loving words and positive affirmative statements. Negative affirmations act as weeds that stifle the growth of those beautiful flowers in your garden. By affirming happiness, abundance, and success, weeds of doubt, negativity, and limitation begin to melt away.
Redefine What Happiness Means to You
Live for yourself. Let go of the expectations others have of you. It isn’t your responsibility to fit into the mold other people make for you but to create a mold of your own. Happiness to one person may mean being a successful doctor that makes 6 figures while others find fulfillment in living a minimalist life. It’s up to you to define what happiness and success mean to you.
Create a Gratitude List
Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for. This could be your family, friends, job, pet, etc. Feeling gratitude makes us feel more fulfilled. It’s okay to want more. However, obsessing over what you don’t have contributes to feelings of low self-esteem and not feeling good enough. A gratitude list helps shift this focus into a much healthier place.
Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation shows us that we aren’t our thoughts nor our emotions. We become observers of these things from an objective stance. After doing mindfulness meditation long enough, we notice certain patterns in our thinking. Thus, we’re able to identify and diffuse triggers, taking our power back.
Remove Toxic People
Remove negative people from your life. Hanging around toxic people is like having a heavy gray cloud following you around. These individuals can even be people we consider our friends and family. Such people may minimize your accomplishments and discourage you from going after your dreams. So, it’s best to keep these people at bay.
Get a Plant
Loneliness is one feeling that accompanies low self-esteem. Having a few household plants helps to alleviate this feeling. It’s nice to surround yourself with life and vibrancy. This acclimates the mind into a healthier space where you don’t feel so lonely. Taking care of these plants will also be therapeutic by giving you a much-needed sense of accomplishment.
Invest in Your Dreams
Acknowledge your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. All women must know they are deserving of manifesting their dreams. Exercising, eating healthy, and educating yourself are all ways to invest in yourself. Self-knowledge is a wonderful investment. If you want to start a business, invest your time, energy, and money into researching and financing this endeavor.
It’s important for women to improve self-esteem and boost confidence. High self-esteem immediately removes limitations and blockages. It feels like wearing a cape and feeling like you’re capable of moving mountains. When you’re in this space, you feel unmovable, unshakable, and unstoppable. These self-esteem tips for women will help those women struggling with their confidence by providing an effective guideline to follow.
Feeling Anxious? Here Are 10 Ways To Naturally Alleviate Your Anxiety To Start Feeling Yourself Again
Decisions.
Most people make decisions by adding more to their life.
‘I must do this…’
’I must do that..’
‘If I can just do xyz, my life will be better…’
But, take a step back for a second. If we dig into the word ‘decision’, we learn it’s a Latin word that means ‘to cut off’. And if you think about it, that makes sense.
Why? Well, a closely related word ‘incision’ means something similar:
“Incision: The action or process of cutting into something”
So with that in mind, in order to reduce and even eliminate our anxiety, the first step is to make a decision to remove (or ‘cut off’) the ‘triggers’ that may be causing it to creep up on us in the first place.
However, we’re all different. What causes my anxiety might be different from what causes yours.
So, as you learn more about yourself and what causes your anxiety, it’s important to note what things you should stop doing – both in terms of reducing your anxiety right now, and preventing it from happening in the first place.
It’s basically impossible to move forward with relieving your anxious thoughts without digging a little deeper and focusing on the root of the problem.
10 Things You Should Stop Doing If You Have Anxiety: As you learn more about yourself and what causes your anxiety, it’s important to note what things you should stop doing when you’re feeling anxious.
These certain things contribute to your anxiety and weigh you down.
It’s basically impossible to move forward with relieving your anxious thoughts without digging a little deeper and focusing on the root of the problem.
10 Things You Should Stop Doing If You Have Anxiety
It starts with realizing the bad habits you’ve become accustomed to and changing them. We all have our own ways of thinking and triggers that make us anxious.
Below are some of the most common things that people do that make their anxiety worse and how you can start putting an end to them today.
#1 Avoidance
If you get anything from this post, please try to remember this: avoiding things that make you anxious will only result in you feeling more anxious.
In short, stop avoiding what’s right in front of you. This is giving your anxious thoughts exactly what they want. It causes you to isolate yourself and ignore all signs that you’re struggling or need help.
Examples of avoidance are:
Drinking at a party to make social interactions more tolerable
Being on your phone in a public setting to avoid eye contact
Calling in sick to work on a day you have to give a speech
Avoiding things can cause you to isolate yourself. And isolation makes it difficult to build strong relationships with people. When you become isolated it is also a lot harder to reach out to people when you desperately need it.
#2 Trying to fight your anxiety
Your anxiety doesn’t have to be your best friend. But it also doesn’t have to be your ultimate nemesis either.
It’s possible to find a happy medium with anxiety. That means that you’re able to get through the day without a panic attack or breaking down.
Stop trying to fight away your anxious thoughts and feelings. They are there for a reason. Instead, you can work on figuring out what’s causing your anxiety in the first place.
This is honestly what causes most of my anxiety. I’m a people pleaser and care way too much what other people think.
When I used to get home from work each day, I would quickly think over in my head how the day and each conversation went. I overthink SO much!
But, something that has helped is practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness slows down your thoughts and allows you to be more in the present moment instead of worrying about things you can’t control.
You learn to accept your thoughts instead of trying to fight them all of the time. This helps reduce anxiety and calms you down.
There’s a cycle that starts when you become anxious. Anxiety is caused by feeling worried and stressed by certain things in your life.
Then, being anxious & stressed all the time leads to feeling fatigued and burnt out.
When you reach burnout mode, taking care of yourself goes out the window.
This is when we tend to reach for the comfort food and do whatever we can to get by. We ignore our needs in order to survive.
It’s time to put a stop to this! You’re the only one who can end the cycle.
That starts with deciding to put yourself first and making a daily commitment to do something that benefits you in some way. If you need help creating habits to take care of yourself, check out this 30-day self-care plan.
#5 Drinking too much caffeine
I love coffee almost as much as my dogs… but with that comes its own limits.
You can have caffeine. But work on limiting it to one or two cups a day (preferably first thing in the morning).
Caffeine screws up with your sleep schedule if you drink too much of it at night. And a lack of sleep leads to higher anxiety levels.
#6 Self-sabotaging yourself
Stop tearing yourself down! You’re not a failure because you have anxiety.
Try to let go of trying to be perfect and stop that inner critic in your head.
Anytime you hear a negative voice in your head saying you’re not good enough, counteract it. For every bad thought you have about yourself, make it a challenge to find something good about yourself.
Try to even out the playing field a little bit.
#7 Drinking alcohol
Drinking should be an occasional thing, like for birthdays or holidays.
This is especially true if you’re currently taking anti-depressants to help with your anxiety. Alcohol lowers your serotonin level. This means it’s basically reversing any positive side effects your medicine is giving you.
And I’m sure you’d rather wake up in the morning feeling refreshed instead of groggy and irritated.
#8 Falling into a deep negative thinking trap
Mental health professionals call this type of thinking “rumination”. Basically, you have repetitive negative thoughts going on in your mind.
These thoughts turn into problems that never get solved. Constant negative thinking causes you to start feeling like a victim in your life. You can end up feeling like you’re not worthy of anything.
This negative thinking trap is also where you develop high levels of anxiety. You start to worry about a specific outcome of a situation before it even happens.
Rumination is a difficult thing to overcome, so don’t expect it to happen overnight.
Talking to a therapist or a professional can help you walk through these thoughts and finally move forward.
#9 Black or white thinking
It’s either all or nothing, there’s no in-between. Well, when you have anxiety there has to be an in-between.
Black or white thinking leads to procrastination. It makes you feel like everything has to be perfect or else it’s not worth trying.
Try to work on finding the gray colors throughout your day. Try to lower your expectations. This doesn’t mean you have to settle for less, it just means you won’t get disappointed so easily.
If you have a test coming up that you need to get an A on, work on expecting a B. Or if you hate change in your life, accepting the fact that change will happen is a grey area.
Letting go of black-and-white thinking means you are learning to accept things the way that they are, without feeling disappointed in the process.
#10 Assuming
Assumptions hurt everyone involved. When you assume your boyfriend wants to take you out to dinner, but he assumes you’ll cook dinner at home, a fight is getting ready to boil.
The main way you can get rid of assuming is by communicating better. If you think a co-worker is upset with you, be upfront and ask them.
Or if you assume your boyfriend is taking you out to dinner, shoot him a quick text to double-check.
Lastly, if you do jump to conclusions, forgive yourself and everyone involved.
It’s so easy to get frustrated and blow up on somebody because you assumed something different in your head.
Take a few deep breaths and recognize what went wrong, then focus on moving forward. This will help reduce anxiety levels.
Moving Forward
When it comes to changing your negative thoughts, avoidance, or assuming things, these habits are difficult to change.
Typically, these habits were formed long ago, when you were a kid. Based on how others treated you, you started to believe certain things about yourself.
My point is, that it won’t be easy to change old habits, but you definitely can do it. I just want you to be patient with yourself and realize that improving your mental health is a lifestyle change.
It won’t instantly happen, but the more work you put into it, the less anxious you will feel and the happier you will become.
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