Learning how to love yourself takes time… and truthfully it’s a process that you go through for the rest of your life.
We often have to unlearn a lot of things we were taught growing up. And separate our own beliefs from the ones others put into our brains at an early age.
If you grew up feeling unsure of yourself and not knowing how to properly love yourself, you are definitely not alone! As children we have to frequently be nurtured and encouraged, but it’s all too easy for adults to ignore these things.
Not by any fault of their own… we are human after all.
That just means as you grow up and learn to do things on your own, like live on your, cook your own food, and provide for yourself, you also have to learn how to love yourself.
No matter what age you are it’s never too late to learn. I wish loving yourself was something we were taught in high school, but it’s not. It’s something you learn as you grow up and develop into the person you’re supposed to be.
So how do we get there? What steps need to be taken to fully love yourself?
Be More Mindful
It first starts with becoming more mindful of how you react to things. Whether that’s being triggered by something bad or when something makes you feel happy.
You have to start being more mindful of what your body is telling you. By listening to yourself more and your internal cues, you can begin to understand what your needs and wants are.
I like to say that becoming more mindful is the same as basically resetting your brain because you have gone your whole life up this point thinking a certain way. And if you don’t know how to love yourself then you have to change that thought process.
You have to take a step back and pay attention to what your mind and body is doing. Then, learn how to listen to what you need because chances are you have ignored your own needs and wants for a long time.
Long enough to completely forget what it is that you enjoy.
Identify Your Surroundings
So as you are becoming more mindful and aware, you then have to pay attention to your surroundings. What are the people you spend your time with like? Are they generally pretty positive or do you have some people in your life who only see the negative?
If you have struggled to love yourself growing up, was there anyone in your family that made you question your worth? Sometimes parents, intentionally or not, can make their children feel like they aren’t good enough. We value our parents opinions as we grow up and if they disapprove this can have a direct effect on your own self-worth.
Allowing others to decide how worthy you are means you don’t love yourself very much. It means you don’t matter as much.
And this is totally normal, but I want to point it out to you. If you place your value in other people’s hands then you have to start identifying when you do this, with who you do this, and why. What is it that makes you compare yourself to others, to not feel as good as you should?
Think about these questions as you continue reading through.
Set Boundaries and Limits
I think setting boundaries is a difficult thing to do. You want other people to like you, so you ignore warning signs and allow people to walk all over you.
I do this, too. In the past I have let others completely take advantage of me just because I wanted to be nice and wanted people to like me. For the longest time, I cared wayy too much about what people thought of me.
And if you’re an empath then setting boundaries will be a little more difficult for you. Because you can give and give and give until your cup is depleted. Until you have absolutely nothing else left to give.
But, you need to protect yourself from certain people in the world who just take and take. It would be so amazing if everyone could sense when they are taking advantage of someone, but it’s just not the case.
That’s why setting boundaries is so necessary for your own growth. For you to love yourself you have to take a stand for yourself. You need to say no and draw a line at the moments you don’t feel comfortable.
If you need a night to yourself to recharge, cancel your plans and do what YOU need to reset. If you ignore your wants and needs, then you will not feel mentally strong enough to stick to the boundaries you set.
Loving yourself is a process and you will have setbacks.
You’ll have moments that you will self-sabotage and not feel so great. But, then you can get right back up and keep going on the journey of loving yourself.
Self-sabotage is a habit that we create. That’s all it is… a habit, which can be changed with some effort.
When we get triggered, we self-sabotage. Even if you are feeling amazing you might have this fear inside you that takes over and says “oh no, you’re happy… that means things are about to get really bad soon.” so you somehow end up ruining the good things in your life.
But, I’m happy to say that you can break this cycle. It’s just engrained into your brain, but you can learn to break those bad habits that you’re in and move forward.
As long as you don’t give up, you will start to love and believe in yourself overtime.
How to Develop a Positive Mindset
Energy Attracts Energy
Energy tends to attract similar energy, whether it is good or bad energy.
If you are sending out negative thoughts constantly, you are probably going to get that negative energy back.
On the other hand, if you can put all mostly positive energy, then you will get the positive energy back. This is the core of why positive thinking works in your favor and why you should start embracing it more in your regular life.
Support Others More
Positive thinking isn’t just good for your own life, but others as well!
If misery loves company, then doesn’t happiness?
By being a happier, more fulfilled person, you can spread that positive energy around and help others feel better as well.
Try to remain positive and uplifted when talking to other people in your daily life, and you will be amazed by what a more peaceful place the world becomes. Positive energy truly spreads around just as quickly as negative energy.
Improve Your Physical Health
Many people look at positive thinking and self-improvement as something that helps their mental health, which is true, but that’s not all. It can also have a positive impact on your mental health.
Whether you have mental conditions like anxiety and stress, or you just want to improve your mental clarity and focus, it can be really useful.
Positive thinking helps you to feel better, which can then create better motivation, higher energy, and help you find more inspiration.
Get into Meditation
Positive thinking, mindfulness, and meditation all go hand-in-hand. When you are working on one of them, the rest tend to follow.
Start meditating and practicing mindfulness while you are focusing on more positive thoughts, and it will make all the other benefits even better.
Suddenly you feel like you can take on anything and the positive energy will surround you.