How to Improve Your Mindset and Reduce Anxiety

It doesn’t help when other people tell you to “just be more positive” or to “stop thinking so much”.

Repressing your thoughts actually does more harm than good. Eventually that negativity will rise to the surface.

For the longest time, I struggled with this cycle myself. I remember deciding to make the word “positive” my new favorite word. Because I got called negative way too often.

It felt like a flaw I needed to fix ASAP. I wanted a growth mindset, not a fixed mindset.

I wanted to be the fun and relaxed one that everyone wanted to hang out with. Not the negative Nancy people only tolerated.

And yet even when I tried so hard to think positively, those negative thoughts crept in time and time again. Leaving me wondering if it was even possible to change my mindset for the better.

What I learned was wishing your problems away doesn’t work, and using affirmations to fake a happy mindset doesn’t last.

You have to put in the effort to have a better mindset.

I chose to make a complete lifestyle change, which consisted of online therapy, going on anti-depressants, and opening up to the people around me.

It also meant filtering out all the unnecessary things that were holding me back. Like the unsupportive people who told me to just be positive but never stuck around to help me through that.

It took me deciding to improve for myself, not for anyone else. And it wasn’t easy at first because my mind was so stubborn. I was set in my ways of being negative and complaining all the time.

Today, I want to share some of my tips on how to improve your mindset and reduce anxiety.

Challenge Your Negative Thoughts and Replace Them With Positive Ones

When your brain starts going down the spiral of negative thoughts, take a step back.

Think about what is causing you to feel bad at that very moment.

Saying “I feel anxious” or “I’m just stressed” isn’t enough to understand what’s actually going on.

It helps instead to dig deeper and identify why you feel anxious. Is it because you’re nervous about a presentation at work? Or being around large groups of people?

Once you identify the specific problem, think about the facts.

If you tend to be negative towards yourself and say things like “I’m not good enough to present to all these people.”, replace that thought with a fact. Like “I’m nervous to get in front of everyone but I’ve practiced enough times to know I will do a good job.”

This is how you can become neutral in your thinking.

You even out the bad thoughts with the good ones.

And this is a quick way to start to calm yourself down.

Think About What Makes You Happy

Do you know what sucks about having a negative mindset? It’s that most of the time, depression tags along with it.

So, seeing the good in things becomes very difficult.

Even the things you normally love don’t seem as important when you feel depressed.

Our anxious and depressed thoughts feed off of each other.

When you are feeling this way, you have to pull yourself out of it.

Even if you hate every second of it.

Think about the things that usually make you happy.

Like your dog or going to the park or watching a movie.

Do those things. But, don’t focus on the fact that they might not bring you the happiness you’re expecting.

These things will help you, and what’s most important is to keep doing those things, no matter how you feel.

Take care of your soul during these times. Don’t give up on the things that connect with your heart.

Eventually, your mind will catch up and remind you that you really do enjoy all of those things.

And they will start to make you feel happy again.

Stop Complaining

I am the queen of complaining.

It’s something I’ve had to work on for a while now. It’s hard.

Complaining is such an easy thing to do. It gives me something to talk about when I can’t think of anything else.

Try to be more conscious of the times when you hear yourself complaining about something happening in your life.

Complaining is giving complete power to the negative things that occur in your life.

Laugh More

I personally hate it when people say “smile more”.

When I’m in a shitty mood, the last thing I want to do is smile for no reason.

But, I have found that laughing at something instantly boosts my mood.

Look into funny YouTube videos, or watch a funny TV show that you know always makes you laugh.

Laughing stops you from taking everything so damn seriously.

It breaks down negative thoughts and allows you to feel good no matter what moment.

Smiling is a challenge for me. But, laughing at something that truly gets what I’m all about makes me feel not so alone in the world.

Find the Right People to Hang Out With

I say this often, negativity breeds negativity.

If your group of friends all sit around and talk crap about one another, they aren’t the best people to be around.

We are the average of the top 5 people we hang out with most.

Think about who you are around most often, including co-workers.

Then evaluate who you might need to reduce seeing to improve your mindset.

There isn’t really a point in being around someone who is constantly bringing you and everyone else down.

The ones who just can never see the good in anything.

Sometimes, venting about issues is ok. Like if you just need to talk to your best friend about a situation that happened that made you feel like crap.

You need that. To let it all out.

When it gets bad, it’s the majority of what you and the other people talk about.

Focus on the good things in life.

Do the stuff you love doing, with the people you love being around!

Don’t waste your time around people who just like to suck the life out of everything.

Stop Being so Hard on Yourself

Anxiety ruins self-confidence.

When you don’t think you’re capable of having a good life and overcoming these tough mental roadblocks, it’s impossible to keep a positive outlook on things.

If things don’t go exactly as you planned, who cares? It is not a reflection of who you are as a person.

Stop holding yourself to such high standards.

Trying to be perfect and always do the “right” thing will leave you feeling burnt-out and hyper-aware of everything.

It’s no way to live your life.

When it comes to improving yourself and your mindset, you have to learn how to forgive yourself.

Always be on your side, no matter what.

If you aren’t there right now, work on it. Make that your #1 priority.

We often beat ourselves up over things that are out of our control.

It’s not fair to you, and it ruins how you see yourself.

You can live a great life feeling as though you deserve it.

Relieved of the pressure to be a certain way or to do a certain thing.

So just let go. Go easy on yourself, and go after the things you want in life.

It’s the best way to have a fulfilling life and a healthy mindset.