When it comes to dealing with negativity, I struggle with it. The main reason is because I don’t like being near it and I start to get negative thoughts myself. Sometimes we have no choice but to be around it, and it can quickly start to take its toll. When there are people trying to bring you down in order to bring themselves up, there is a line you have to draw. You might be able to take it for a while, but the thing about negativity is that it’s like a bad smell. It seeps into your clothes and starts to manifest its way onto you. At first you might not even notice, but it silently creeps in and settles.Co-workers can be toxic. Same goes with friends and family. Sometimes the closest people to you are the ones who are producing it the most. So what do you do when you are around it for majority of your day? How do you deal with negativity without letting it consume your whole life?
What you have to do first is recognize where it’s stemming from. If you notice that you are feeling irritated, unhappy, uninspired, or fatigued after spending time with a certain person then chances are they are the cause. Once you can recognize the root of it and ask yourself honestly what is making you feel this way, then you can take the next steps to work on changing it.
Gaining awareness is huge. People can make small or big comments that make us question ourselves and at first it might be harmless and easy to brush off. That’s easier to do if you don’t have to see that person much or ever again. But, what about the people who are in our lives a good chunk of the time? The ones who only want what’s best for you, even if their view of what’s right for you isn’t right. What about the gossip co-worker who likes to blow things out of proportion and say things behind your back, possibly threatening your job? Or your best friend who makes comments about what you look like?
We need to learn to recognize where it’s coming from so that we can see why it’s happening. You might never get to know exactly why someone is extremely negative and hurtful, but you can learn to eliminate those people once you become aware of it.
PAY ATTENTION TO THE COMMENTS
When it comes to negativity, we love to let it stick to us. If twenty people commented on your appearance and nineteen of them were positive and one was negative, I can guarantee the negative one will stick to you so much more than the rest. And it sucks that way. When you are faced with anyone being negative towards you, you can decide whether it’s going to stick or not. And whether or not if what that person has to say has any value.
No matter how big or small comments are, they are all like freshly sharpened knives. They might come in different sizes, but they still hurt and some can have lasting scars. So, I’m telling you right now that anything that makes you feel less than your best self is a negative force. By embracing that we get affected by these comments and that we can’t be strong all the time is showing that you are exactly as strong as you need to be.
Usually when someone ever judges me or questions me, I instantly wonder ‘what makes them so special?’ How come I am letting this person effect me so much? Because, no one is perfect. It’s like imagining everyone in their underwear when giving a speech, because believe it or not at the end of the way we are all equal! We are all vulnerable and imperfect, full of our own insecurities. Some people like to make others feel as bad as they do and misery LOVES company. However, that doesn’t mean we have to be that company.
STICK TO YOUR GUNS
Listen to yourself. If someone is full of negative talk, tell yourself that what they are saying is not true. Think of how it reflects on that person-not you. This is someone who doesn’t have anything nice to say and they are full of so much negativity and believe it in so much, they think they can convince you too. That’s where you have to stick to your guns and stand your ground. It’s only when we don’t stand for anything that we’ll fall for everything. Listen to your values and pay attention to what the facts are. Listen to the nineteen out of twenty people who are giving you positive feedback. There are some pretty awful people in this world, and we all have the fortunate opportunities of dealing with them at some point.
If you can learn to pay attention when the negativity is present, you can pick up on learning when to not fall into the trap. You can learn to smell that stench from a mile away. You can learn to not let it fully engulf you.