by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jun 2, 2022 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Confidence
Anxiety is something everyone has experienced at least once in their lifetime. But for some, it can become a real nightmare. As symptoms manifest themselves so intensely, it is normal to experience distress and a feeling of loss of control. However, it is possible to prevent and alleviate the onset of anxiety symptoms.
In this article, we share 14 tips to reduce anxiety naturally. Of course, if your anxiety disorder is severe, we encourage you to speak with a mental health professional.
But first, what is anxiety?
Anxiety is a defense mechanism that your body uses to alert you. It is usually due to an excessive worry that is manifested physically about some event that will occur in the future. It can indicate fear of uncertainty or situations that you feel you are not able to control.
In a nutshell, it is excessive, constant, and uncontrollable worry. An anxious person is always waiting for a catastrophe or an unforeseen event to spoil her day. Thus, she undergoes extremely tiring wear, both emotionally and physically, as she is always in a state of hypervigilance.
Unfortunately, many women experience anxiety in different ways. They are anxious all the time, and it becomes a routine. When this happens, it stops being a normal sensation and can become a disorder we call pathological anxiety.
Thus, the condition affects the life of those who have these sensations, impairing social and professional life and even being able to develop physical illnesses. Taking care of this problem is essential for having quality physical and mental health.
Ways to reduce anxiety
Anxiety can be controlled if you incorporate some habits into your routine, identify things that trigger you, and learn to deal with them in order to mitigate the damage an anxious state of mind can cause.
The following tips will help you a lot in this. Some of them seem to be quite obvious, but we tend not to notice them when anxious. Therefore, read each of the tips carefully and try to incorporate them into your daily life, both to avoid and alleviate anxiety and not to let it take on greater proportions.
1. Understand the cause of your anxiety
Before trying to control anxiety, the first thing is to locate its origin. Do you have a complicated test coming up? Are you going through a difficult time? Are you afraid of what may happen at your work? All of this can be the source of your anxiety. And by identifying them, you can act accordingly. In other words, to know how to control anxiety, it is necessary to locate it.
For example, if you were attacked by a dog when you were little, it is possible that being around one causes you to sweat, experience rapid heartbeat, and fear. And it is also possible that you are not fully aware that this is precisely what causes it. If you write down in your notebook that this has happened to you, you can easily identify it and remedy it. That way, you’ll be able to work around these situations with more experience and change some habits in the interest of it.
2. Try to organize your daily routine
Organization is the enemy of anxiety. When you organize your routine activities, you feel more at ease, as you already know in advance what will be done. Jotting down daily what will be done the next day or creating a weekly schedule can be good alternatives to get an idea of the concrete size of what needs to be done. But, even so, it is important to be aware of and know how to deal with the unforeseen events that usually appear along the way or during work hours.
3. Practice mindful breathing
Yes, it is true that you are breathing continuously. However, you may not get it all right. You should know that conscious and deep breathing helps you oxygenate your body and makes your emotions flow so that you can understand and accept them better.
To do this, you can practice different exercises with different durations. For example, you may breathe in for 4 seconds, hold the air in your lungs for 4 seconds, and expel it for 8 seconds. You may only notice a brief relief the first time, but if you repeat it several times, you will feel the relaxation you need.
To gain insight into when you are starting to get anxious, you will need to pay close attention to your emotions and your body’s reactions. For example, if you are shivering, sweating, nauseous, or have heartburn. Gradually, you will no longer be caught off guard by anxiety and will be able to use methods to calm yourself down.
4. Combat negative thoughts with positive affirmations
One of the most striking symptoms of an anxiety crisis is disconnected and negative thoughts. They flood the anxious person’s mind and increase anguish and fear. Because of them, you find it difficult to calm your emotional state.
One way to fight them is simply thinking about positive things, such as fond memories of family or loved ones. You can also make positive affirmations such as “It’s okay with me and around me” and “There’s nothing to worry about” repeatedly. Repeat these and other phrases until emotional and physical symptoms subside.
5. Learn to say no
Especially if you are an empathic person, getting involved in other people’s problems will only make your anxiety worse.
Being open and generous to others is a wonderful gift, but when you do it at the expense of your own well-being and take charge of their negativity, it can become extremely damaging.
Dedicating all your resources to others will leave you little energy to deal with your anxiety, and it will only increase. Furthermore, if you allow yourself to be overly influenced by the judgment of others and allow the opinion of others to define your worth, you will be a very easy victim of anxiety attacks. This doesn’t mean never to help anyone, but knowing your limits and not being afraid to say “no” when necessary.
6. Value affection and stay away from those who do harm
Your support network is essential for the control of anxiety and also in the treatment of any mental disorder. Having someone to count on, whether friends or relatives, strengthening ties and bonds, and valuing those close to you is very important.
Equally important is to stay away from very anxious or negative people, who can directly influence your emotional state. It may seem harsh at first, but this withdrawal will do you good in your quest for anxiety control and your mental health.
7. Do physical exercise 
Did you know that you can reduce anxiety with exercise? After all, it is one of the best natural solutions to fight anxiety. This is because physical exercise has numerous benefits for physical and mental health. Choose the one you most identify with and try to practice it regularly. The exercises will help to control anxiety, as they release tension trapped in the body and provide well-being and relaxation due to the production of endorphins.
A walk outdoors or at home, running, dancing, swimming, and gym are some of the alternatives and are part of this fundamental combo of how to deal with anxiety and have a healthier and happier life.
8. Take control
Anxiety makes us feel out of control. But you need to know that you can’t always be in command of your life. What you need is to identify anxiety triggers and control them.
For example, if the thought of attending a party or social event causes you anxiety attacks, instead of running away from the situation and avoiding dealing with it, think about what you could do to get more control. You could go to the party alone, in your car, so that you know you can leave whenever you want without depending on others. Very often, these small tricks are enough to mitigate the worries.
If it is a school or work situation that is causing your attacks, design an escape strategy. Even if you will never implement it, it is incredibly beneficial to feel that the situation is in your control, and you can end it when you want.
Since anxiety works a lot on what-if scenarios, also make a list of everything that could happen if you put your strategy into action, including worst-case scenarios. Next to the latter, write how you could react to limit their effects or (even better) be foresight and prevent them from occurring.
This is an amazing exercise to get you back on the ground. Very often, you may even realize that the worst thing that could happen is actually not as bad as it seemed in your head.
9. Do a guided meditation
Guided meditations can help people in an anxiety crisis to calm down. You can either open a video in an app or download a meditation to listen to on your mobile in stressful situations. If you’re at home, log on to a computer and look for a guided meditation to calm yourself down.
These meditations are ideal for working concentration, relieving muscle tension, and calming the mind on the go. As the guide helps you relax with soothing words, you stop thinking about the symptoms of the crisis.
10. Practice visualization
Another method you can use to reduce anxiety naturally is positive visualization. In a quiet room, take a deep breath and imagine being in a calming environment. It can be a place you like, like a beach or a public park, or it can be a figment of your imagination. The important thing is that he transmits peace to you. Do this exercise for as long as it takes to feel good.
11. Limit alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana
All these substances are harmful when consumed in excess. Although they all seem to induce the person to a state of momentary relaxation, it doesn’t take long for the opposite effects to appear. Alcohol may leave you euphoric and then relaxed, but that feeling goes along with the drinking, and the next day, the anxiety can be quite severe. The same happens with marijuana, which, despite inducing relaxation, can even trigger anxiety and panic crises, worsening anxiety over time.
12. Look for distractions
Look for distractions in the room or in the public environment where you find yourself. Count the number of people or decorative objects present. Use short movements with your arms, hands, legs, or feet to distract your mind.
Another idea is to download therapeutic apps to distract you. Thus, you will always have a source of distraction for anxious moments. Sometimes a simple distraction is enough to calm the racing heart and calm the mind. When you focus on your malaise, it tends to grow out of control.
13. Find a hobby or a pleasurable activity
You need to have activities that bring you relaxation and interest, and one of these activities can come through hobbies. Today, it is possible to find and delve into a number of hobbies through YouTube videos and discussion groups on the topic in various media. Find your favorite activity and do it in your free time!
If you still haven’t found yours, set aside some time of the day or week to do something you really enjoy. This moment of relaxation with yourself is extremely valuable.
14. See a psychologist or psychiatrist
Investing in your mental health is one of the most beautiful forms of self-care. Those who look for these professionals do so with the aim of improving their quality of life. After all, these experts can help anyone to modify certain behaviors that can increase their well-being and improve their interpersonal relationships in a very positive way.
If you’re feeling overly anxious and aren’t sure what to do to soothe it, a psychiatrist or psychologist will be your best friend right now. Look for a therapist you connect with. You can explore an affordable therapy option here.
No one said that controlling anxiety was an easy task, but if you’ve made it this far and are able to follow some of these strategies, it will only be a matter of time before you realize how far you’ve gone to reduce anxiety naturally. We also recommend trying the following course bundle: Refine Your Life Purpose & Wellness Course Bundle It is a masterpiece that will surely help you understand the meaning and origin of the anxiety you are experiencing. We hope you enjoy reading!
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Mar 29, 2022 | Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
A lot of where we are in life has to do with our own personal levels of confidence and self-esteem. Self-esteem is simply confidence in one’s worth and abilities. When we are low in self-esteem, we tend to doubt our abilities and question our value. However, when self-esteem is high, a person feels empowered and capable of having whatever their heart desires.
It’s no secret that our life is a result of what we do. And, our actions are a result of how we think and how we feel. Moreover, when someone doesn’t think highly of themselves, there is a tendency to settle for a life of mediocrity. To be clear, living in mediocrity has less to do with living a minimalist life and more to do with settling for things you don’t truly want out of fear.
It’s important for us to know what we want for ourselves, what makes us fulfilled. For example, you may dream of having your very own hair salon. However, you may also struggle with low self-esteem and self-doubt. Thus, out of fear, you don’t pursue that dream. Instead, you choose to settle for something you deem a bit more “practical”.
All women should understand that confidence has the ability to lift the weight off your shoulders and make the unattainable look tangible. What appears impossible starts to look very probable as we begin to feel more capable in our abilities.
Such confidence and self-assurance should be instilled from childhood to ensure a very healthy, productive, and self-sufficient, adult life. However, such experiences don’t always pan out that way especially when dealing with generational trauma. In this case, a scarcity mindset and low self-esteem are things that can be passed down.
While we can’t select all of the experiences we have in life, we can surely choose how we want to respond to these experiences.
To improve self-esteem, we must have self-accountability. If you’re a woman looking to boost your confidence and self-esteem, it’s important to understand the signs of low self-esteem, the importance of having confidence, and tips to help you boost your confidence.
Where Low Self-Esteem Comes From
A struggle with low self-esteem can come from many different places. Here are a few examples.
Toxic Dating Relationships
Toxic relationships have the ability to deteriorate our self-esteem. Such relationships entail abusive language, physical abuse, betrayal, trust issues, and co-dependency. None of these things exemplify love nor is it healthy to entertain.
Unsupportive Parents
Perhaps we didn’t hear the encouraging words we needed to hear from our parents. This lack of approval and recognition is something that can stick with us for a long time. Without encouragement and support, one can grow up with a lot of self-doubt, questioning their ability to accomplish certain tasks.
Childhood Abuse & Neglect
Childhood abuse and neglect are major factors that contribute to low self-esteem. While a large part of how others treat us is dependent upon how we treat ourselves, it wasn’t always like this. As children growing up, how others treated us determined how we’d treat ourselves including ourselves. In cases of childhood abuse and neglect, a child may internalize this treatment as something normal.
Bullying
When we’re younger, we are especially sensitive to the harsh words others project onto us. It is why children often internalize these harsh words. In the fragile mind of a growing child, these words often solidify as belief systems when left to fester.
But bullying can happen in our adult lives too such as in the workplace.
Negative People
Constantly being around negative people is a sure way to minimize one’s self-esteem. The subconscious mind is like a sponge that soaks up everything it hears and sees. When around people who complain about hardship all the time, we are more likely to share these feelings and victim mindset.
Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to another can make us question our worth. This can be especially dangerous when aspiring to have things that don’t make you happy. It’s like trying to squeeze into a shoe that isn’t your size and then crying about it. We are all different. Avoidance of acknowledging one’s uniqueness is one way to diminish self-esteem.
Unrealistic Expectations
Living for others is not only disingenuous to one’s self but it is also frustrating. Everyone has their own ideas regarding success, happiness, and fulfillment. And, it doesn’t always look the same. When we try to meet other peoples’ expectations of us, we find ourselves living a life that isn’t authentic. Instead, it becomes burdensome trying to maintain a facade.
Traumatic Events
Issues of low self-esteem usually begin at a tender age. Traumatic events can trigger these things. For example, children often blame themselves when witnessing parental conflicts such as fighting or divorce. Many kids believe these occurrences are at their own fault. This places a major burden on a child where they feel like they’re the root cause of the turmoil and chaos.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
Here are some of the common signs of low self-esteem:
- Avoidance of Trying New Things
- Feeling Lonely and Unwanted
- Fear of Failure
- Unable to Accept Compliments
- Self-Deprecating Humor
- Unmotivated
- Comparing One’s Self to Others
- Staying in Unhealthy Relationships
- Self-Sabotaging
- Anxiety and/or Depression
If you recognize these signs and symptoms in yourself, the following tips can help you take steps towards improving your self-esteem and growing confidence.
Self-Esteem Tips for Women
Forgive Yourself
Guilt, resentment, and regret are all feelings that carry a heavy weight. Boost confidence and improve self-esteem by forgiving yourself first. We should forgive ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made in life and choose to do better. These few decisions do not define us. It is what we choose to do afterward that is a true depiction of who we are.
Identify the Source of Pain
Where is the pain? By identifying the source of our issues with confidence, we can begin to forgive others and forgive ourselves. Knowing this information is key to understanding self-defeatist habits and thought processes.
Forgive Others
Animosity and grudges towards others are also burdensome. It requires a lot of energy to hold onto conflict. Forgive others to relieve yourself of that weight. The act of forgiveness frees us to accept better things into our lives without self-sabotaging good opportunities.
Practice Self-Love
Self-love is a belief and lifestyle which prioritizes self-improvement. By practicing self-love every day, we see our lives transform as our self-perception shifts into a more loving place. Self-love makes us more compassionate towards ourselves. Examples of self-love activities include the tips listed here to boost confidence and improve self-esteem.
Recite Positive Affirmations 
Replace Self-Deprecation with Self-Empowerment by reciting positive affirmations. As previously stated, the subconscious mind is like a sponge. It can also be seen as a garden. Women should water their minds with loving words and positive affirmative statements. Negative affirmations act as weeds that stifle the growth of those beautiful flowers in your garden. By affirming happiness, abundance, and success, weeds of doubt, negativity, and limitation begin to melt away.
Redefine What Happiness Means to You
Live for yourself. Let go of the expectations others have of you. It isn’t your responsibility to fit into the mold other people make for you but to create a mold of your own. Happiness to one person may mean being a successful doctor that makes 6 figures while others find fulfillment in living a minimalist life. It’s up to you to define what happiness and success mean to you.
Create a Gratitude List
Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for. This could be your family, friends, job, pet, etc. Feeling gratitude makes us feel more fulfilled. It’s okay to want more. However, obsessing over what you don’t have contributes to feelings of low self-esteem and not feeling good enough. A gratitude list helps shift this focus into a much healthier place.
Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation shows us that we aren’t our thoughts nor our emotions. We become observers of these things from an objective stance. After doing mindfulness meditation long enough, we notice certain patterns in our thinking. Thus, we’re able to identify and diffuse triggers, taking our power back.
Remove Toxic People
Remove negative people from your life. Hanging around toxic people is like having a heavy gray cloud following you around. These individuals can even be people we consider our friends and family. Such people may minimize your accomplishments and discourage you from going after your dreams. So, it’s best to keep these people at bay.
Get a Plant
Loneliness is one feeling that accompanies low self-esteem. Having a few household plants helps to alleviate this feeling. It’s nice to surround yourself with life and vibrancy. This acclimates the mind into a healthier space where you don’t feel so lonely. Taking care of these plants will also be therapeutic by giving you a much-needed sense of accomplishment.
Invest in Your Dreams
Acknowledge your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. All women must know they are deserving of manifesting their dreams. Exercising, eating healthy, and educating yourself are all ways to invest in yourself. Self-knowledge is a wonderful investment. If you want to start a business, invest your time, energy, and money into researching and financing this endeavor.
It’s important for women to improve self-esteem and boost confidence. High self-esteem immediately removes limitations and blockages. It feels like wearing a cape and feeling like you’re capable of moving mountains. When you’re in this space, you feel unmovable, unshakable, and unstoppable. These self-esteem tips for women will help those women struggling with their confidence by providing an effective guideline to follow.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Nov 5, 2021 | Self-Confidence, Self-Improvement
Strong and independent women are a true inspiration to anyone. They don’t just talk about their dreams. They try to make it happen to the best of their abilities. They know what they want and go for it no matter what everybody else says. If you’re ready to chase your dreams, you can do it too!
Finding the spark you need to start working on your ambitions is a great place to start. But once you know what the dream is you want to go after, it takes action. If you’re ready to chase your dreams but aren’t sure what to do, these 9 tips will help.
1) Know Yourself
Getting to know oneself is a vital element of success that many people seem to neglect. Knowing yourself means understanding your passion, talents, and even weaknesses. Many underestimate this knowledge even though it can help out a lot in decision-making. That’s why it should be the first thing to consider.
When you know yourself, you will realize what you’re good at and what you’re not. This can be a big influence when you are about to judge which route is best to take for a higher chance of victory.
Self-knowledge also frees you from the pressure of others’ opinions. When you know what works for you, the point of view of others won’t bother you anymore.
2) Set Your Goals Right
When pursuing our goals, one thing we usually do is visualize the outcome. This is an essential part of the whole procedure. But what most people do is imagine vague concepts. They say they want to get rich or be happier. You might not find these ideas harmful but they don’t actually help you determine the best steps to take.
Furthermore, vague ideas won’t help you tell if you need to make changes in your methods or when you have done enough. Knowing what your exact goals are is an important factor in accomplishing them.
So, what you can do is imagine yourself in the place you wish to be and ask the following questions. What does it look like? What exactly makes it different from where you are now? How will you know when you get there? How will you know when you’re off-track?
The ideal way of goal setting is by using SMART goals. There are numerous variants on what the acronym SMART stands for, but the definition below is its main essence.
- Specific – Your objective must be straightforward and well-defined. Make it as simple as possible by specifying exactly what you want to happen.
- Measurable – Entail specific numbers, dates, and so on in your goals so you can track your progress.
- Attainable – Do not aim for things that are obviously impossible to achieve. On the other hand, resist the temptation to create very easy targets.
- Relevant – Goals should be related to the path you intend to take in your life and career so you can have more focus.
- Time-bound – There should always be a deadline so you can have a sense of urgency and not waste time.
3) Break Them Down
Looking at the bigger picture is great and all, but it may appear intimidating when you start to ask how exactly you’re going to make things happen. Just thinking about it can burn you out and make you lose your will to keep pushing forward. To avoid this negative state of mind, you should take baby steps.
Break big goals down into smaller ones. It can be a way to boost your confidence. You will start to realize that it’s more manageable if you take care of smaller tasks one by one. This also allows you to keep track of your development when you follow your dreams.
Additionally, this is the key to multitasking. You can meet multiple objectives at the same time. With smaller goals, you have enough energy to fulfill several others simultaneously. You can even do this while also working toward reaching other major goals in different areas of your life.
4) Put Your Goals in Writing
When you physically write down a goal, it becomes real and tangible. You will have no excuse for overlooking it. Experts believe that goal success is strongly linked to vividly describing your goals in writing. Our focus is narrowed, and our attention is drawn away from other priorities when we write our goals down.
Your smaller, broken-down goals can be written with set deadlines to give you a clearer image of what needs to be done and when. And when you write, positively frame your goal statement.
Taking time to do this step in a peaceful place will bring many benefits. Take out a journal and write down your action plan for the next month, quarter, year, or decade. This can prevent you from wandering aimlessly toward your dream.
5) Stick With The Plan
Now that you have your agenda laid out, you to need to address it properly. Stick with the plan no matter what. Set reminders to keep yourself on course, and schedule time to review your priorities on a regular basis. This will assist you in accomplishing something every day that will help you be a step closer to your goal.
Sticking with the plan doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t adjust it when the situation requires it. Unless you’ve reached your dream, goal setting will be an ongoing activity. While your long-term target may remain the same, the action plan you set may shift significantly.
When you notice that something isn’t working, you can always replace it with something that will. Just be sure that the changes you make are really necessary and relevant.
6) Don’t Limit Yourself
A successful woman in her own right, Sylvia Plath once said, “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” Most times, what stops us from attaining our hopes and dreams is our own limiting beliefs. You may hold yourself back by thinking that you are not good enough. You doubt your potential and fear failure as a result.
But you should know something, you are more than enough. You are capable of conquering obstacles and accomplishing greatness. Whatever you want to do, everything you’ll need to keep pushing is inside of you.
Fortune favors the bold, so don’t be afraid. It’s true that there’s still a chance of failing. But failure isn’t anything to be terrified of since you can learn from it and move on. Nothing can stop a positive mindset.
7) Be Realistic
Another way of thinking that can save you from peril when you try to chase your dreams is being realistic. As you get into goal setting, you can get easily obsessed. You can get hooked and will go to any length just to achieve your goals. This carries a lot of risks and should be avoided from the very start.
But wait, doesn’t this oppose the previous tip on this list? No, it doesn’t. In fact, they complement each other. It suggests that you shouldn’t do too little or too much. You just have to be balanced. Overkill and insufficiency have the same negative effect when it comes to realizing a dream.
Drive is commendable, but keep in mind that you, like everyone else, require rest and recovery. Making a timetable and setting aside enough time each day or week to focus on your goal is one practical step you can take.
8) Accept Assistance
As the saying goes, two hands are better than one. Being strong and independent doesn’t mean doing everything on your own. Connect with others who you know will be there for you every step of the way. It is crucial to have people who have your back and help you stay motivated as you strive toward your dreams.
This can be done in many ways. For instance, you can get an accountability partner. It can be anyone you’re comfortable with. Explain your plan to them, including the timeline, so that they can assist you in sticking to it.
The kind of help appropriate will vary depending on your objectives. So, you have to be flexible. You can find someone with similar goals, join a group, or hire professional help.
9) Celebrate Every Win
It’s very satisfying when you celebrate your victories and reward yourself. Keeping track of the tiny accomplishments along the way helps you in finding the motivation to keep on moving forward. Feel your spirit being regenerated as you bask in the feelings of satisfaction and pride that your modest triumphs bring you.
This emphasizes once more the importance of thorough planning and prudent goal setting. It gives you a map of every milestone you can conquer in your entire journey.
Acknowledge that you are taking decisive steps toward your aspirations, that you are changing your habits for the betterment of yourself, and that you are taking charge of your life as a whole.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2020 | Happiness Tips, Self-Confidence
Looking for some ways to feel better about yourself? Great! I have 19 mood and confidence-boosting ideas for you. We all have bad mental health days at times. What makes those days worse is how hard we are on ourselves.
There’s a strong mental health stigma out there that tells us we should be doing better than we are. And if you struggle with depression or anxiety, it makes you feel like a failure of some sort. But this is NOT true. Trust me, it’s not. And the truth is many many people struggle with their own mental illness. It’s not a bad thing and you don’t have to keep making yourself feel worse. Which is why I want to talk about some awesome ways you can feel better about yourself. Because YOU are awesome! If you need a reminder of that today, then here it is.
19 Ways To Make You Feel Better About Yourself
You’re doing the best you can. You’re trying and that’s all that matters. To make yourself feel better you need to be calm and realize the progress you want to see in your life will come. You will have days where you fall backward, and that’s ok. Because you will also have days where you feel on top of the world. To feel better about ourselves is a struggle we all face. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s possible to always feel better or happy no matter how perfect your life may be.
Striving for endless happiness is like striving for perfection… it doesn’t exist.
What does exist is learning how to accept who you are. That’s the easiest way to make you feel better about yourself. Whether you’re in a bad mood or a good mood. Trusting yourself and knowing you’ll push through the tough moments will turn you into a resilient badass. Sometimes that is what is required to make you feel better about yourself.
1. To feel better, pay attention to what your thoughts are saying
Instead of ignoring your thoughts, spend some time listening to them. What are they saying to you? If you aren’t feeling your greatest right now, why? Is it because of something not going how you expected in your life?
To make you feel better you need to identify your struggles and respect them. This can help you learn to listen to yourself more. From every experience and those small wins, remember what you did to make you feel better. Check out this book on Amazon which was a great read to help me feel better.
When you ignore yourself it’s easy to feel down because you haven’t fully accepted what your thoughts are trying to tell you.
2. Listen to yourself and make sure to take it easy
If you don’t want to see anyone today, clean your house, or get groceries then don’t! Basically to feel better, don’t force yourself to do something you hate. You might think “But I’m an adult and need to take care of my responsibilities.” which, yes is true. But, your chores can wait until you’re better. Cut your to-do list in half and just work on the things that you can. Sometimes our minds and bodies give us a sign, to tell us that we need a break.
To make you feel better, let the other things wait and listen to yourself. Today might just need to be a Netflix day. Yay!
3. Stop making yourself feel guilty for not feeling good mentally
When you’re depressed it’s really hard to act like you care about something when you really don’t. Like when your boyfriend wants to spend Saturday doing a bunch of errands and you’re over here like: I need to be in bed with no interruptions. Which can make you feel guilty for not supporting the people you love.
- Your mind has other plans for you and you have to cater to that.
Sometimes to feel better you don’t have to feel guilty for giving yourself a much-needed mental health day. If it’s an everyday thing, then it’s always good to talk to someone about it.
4. Write out all your worries in a journal
When you wake up in the morning and already feel like today is just going to suck, get your thoughts out. Only you can make you feel better. Write down all of your worries about your life, about the day, and just about anything. This is a great way to reel in your worries and take care of your mental health. Because once you get these thoughts, you’ll feel better about yourself and be ready to take on the day.
One way to make you feel better, try out the Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal to help you let go of worry and anxiety.
5. Buy yourself something nice, the best way to make you feel better
When you’re not feeling good about yourself, make yourself go out and buy something nice. Take a trip to the mall or buy something on Amazon you’ve been wanting. Treat yo’ self! This is a good form of self-care to remind yourself that you matter and realize that you can feel better with a little bit of a splurge on yourself. Now, you don’t need to buy the whole store or anything but something simple that makes you feel good will do the trick. This could also just be some ice cream to help boost your spirits. Let’s be honest ice cream will always make you feel better even when everything else fails.
6. Eat a healthy & fulfilling meal
You can treat yourself and eat a healthy meal all on the same day. It’s called balance! Fuel your body with the proper nutrients that you need to improve your mental health. A healthy meal makes your body feel better which improves your mindset!
7. Trust yourself more
To feel better, listen to your heart. If you’re unhappy a lot of the time, listen to why that is. If you always say yes when you should say no, learn how to set boundaries. For the longest time I did not trust myself and I always looked to other people to boost my confidence. Make your own confidence. Don’t sit and wait for a sign, stand up and take accountability. But, this never lasted because when nobody was around I didn’t feel good about myself. I spent a lot of time learning how to trust my instincts and listen to myself more, and now I feel better about myself and my circumstances. This takes some time, but if you make it a goal of yours then you will start to feel better quickly.
8. Spend time with supportive people
To feel better, it helps to have a strong support system because you can’t always pull yourself out of a funk, or make issues just disappear. If you aren’t your best today, call up your closest friends. Vent to them or ask them to hang out so you can be around positive people. Positive people can make you feel better instantly. Don’t be afraid to reach out to the people who care about you when you’re struggling mentally, because they need you to reach out to them.
They won’t judge you and care about your well-being.
9. Listen to upbeat music
Sometimes you just need some good music to pull you out of a bad mood. Dance around to your favorite songs for 15 minutes. Tune everything out and put your headphones on. Enjoying yourself where you get out of your head for a while can help you gain a different perspective on things.
Related: 13 Hobbies That Will Reduce Anxiety and Make You Feel Better
10. Write down all of your amazing qualities
Even when you’re not feeling your best you can counter your bad thoughts with good ones. Write down your favorite qualities about yourself. Is it the way you easily forgive people around you? Maybe you’re a really good listener, or like being so easygoing. Whatever traits you have, make yourself write them down. And if you can’t think of what you like about yourself, write down the things other people like about you.
11. Hang out with animals
If you have any animals at your house, spend some time with them. Cuddle your cat or go on a hike with your dog and make some friends. And if you don’t (but do like animals), go to a nearby animal shelter. If you find an animal you like, you can ask to hang out with it. And who knows? Maybe you’ll even end up getting a furry companion! Animals can be a great form of therapy because they are so innocent and pure. They are very forgiving, provide an endless amount of love, and have zero judgment.
12. Cry it out
Crying is a way to release all the built-up emotions you have in your mind and body. Sometimes you just need a good cry session to let everything out. I definitely feel better about myself after I cry things out for a little bit. If it’s just one of those days for you where you do feel on the verge of tears, don’t hold it in. Allow yourself to feel however it is you’re feeling so you can get back to being your best self.
13. Break/Punch something
So if you’re sad you cry, and if you’re angry you can punch something. I keep getting this urge to break some dishes when I don’t feel my best. That is usually a sign that some good old punches or kicks are required.
But if you’d prefer to punch something instead, sign up for a nearby kickboxing class. This can help you relieve a lot of tension…
14. Get some alone time
If you aren’t feeling your best sometimes being alone can be just what you need. This helps you re-center yourself. You also block out all of the outside noise. If you have a judgmental family, a difficult work environment, or just feel super stressed out then being alone can help a ton. Either go to your bedroom and shut the door for the night, go on a hike and shut off your phone, or take a 2-hour long bath for some privacy.
15. Go on an adventure to make you feel better
Sometimes we don’t feel our best because life feels boring. If you’re stuck in the same routine and feel like your life isn’t going anywhere, change it up by going on an adventure. This could mean a trip to the next town over or a road trip vacation. You don’t have to wait for a sign. Depending on how you’re feeling, set up a plan to get out on an adventure and explore something new.
16. Take a mental health day
If you wake up in the morning and just cannot get yourself to go to work, take a mental health day. We all need this from time to time. And don’t feel guilty about it either! A mental health day is amazing when you’re overwhelmed and burnt out. If you know you won’t be able to focus or work productively today, then it’s best to take a break from everything. This can help in so many ways and it can actually benefit your employer because you’ll feel refreshed and recharged after a little mini-break.
17. Get some exercise
Go on a run, take a hike, or do some yoga at home. Your body and mind work together to help you feel your best. Make sure to take care of your body and listen to what it needs. It already knows how to make you feel better, you just need to guide it.
Activities like running or HIIT get your endorphins going and your heart pumping, so you’ll feel better pretty quickly. And if you’re looking to calm down and be more in tune with your body, then yoga, pilates, or a peaceful walk can help you get there.
18. Read a good mental health book
If you enjoy reading like I do and like to focus on self-improvement, here are some of my favorite books to read to help you feel better about yourself:
19. Help someone else
Sometimes what you really need to make you feel better about yourself is to help someone else. Look around your life and see what areas you can help in.
- Are there people in your family who are going through their own struggles?
- Do you have a friend who could use a break from her kids?
Pay attention to other people around you asking for help and lend a hand.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Dec 6, 2019 | Self-Confidence, Self-Improvement
There are many ways to reduce social anxiety. You do not have to ‘just get on with it.’ You can actually overcome it.
Social anxiety is a very common thing, and it’s definitely possible to overcome it. That means deciding to go out and do things that scare you, despite how anxious you’re feeling.
With the Holiday season of celebrations and social gatherings approaching, now is the best time to practice these 10 ways to reduce social anxiety.
Soon you will hit the scene with confidence, and dang it, you may really have a good time, too.
10 Ways To Reduce Social Anxiety
I know, learning how to overcome social anxiety is tough. Situations that involve large groups or public speaking can make it worse.
When you give in to the anxiety and avoid these situations, the anxiety continues to grow. Then you’re eventually left feeling trapped.
The fear becomes too much to handle, and staying home instead of going out into the real world sounds like the safest option.
You might still feel anxious at times, but knowing the right techniques to push through it will make you believe in yourself more. And sometimes seeking help when you need it. This in return builds up your confidence.
Which gets stronger, and then you’re able to trust yourself more and your social anxiety lessens. I have a few tips on how to start overcoming your anxiety so you can feel confident again.
Related: What to give an introvert as a present
1. Start Challenging Your Thinking
Your thoughts are powerful. They can and will convince you of anything if you let them.
Think you’re going to look stupid in front of the boy you like? That thought turns into fear, which turns into anxiety.
What you need to do is challenge that thought.
Okay, so you might look stupid in front of a boy you like. What’s the worst that can happen? Does that guy think you’re stupid?
First, if he’s that judgemental, he’s not worth your time. Second, the feeling of looking or acting stupid is all in your head.
Most people don’t notice the same things you do. We are our harshest critic.
You can easily beat yourself up for not saying the exact perfect thing. Give yourself a break, take a step back, and don’t let that thought take over. Practice thinking rationally.
The moment you allow your thoughts to control you, you’ll start to avoid the situations that trigger anxiety. Which means it will only continue to grow and get worse.
2. Talk to More People
You don’t have to go up to a complete stranger and force yourself to be super uncomfortable.
Instead, practice talking to your friends or family. Think about questions you can ask them, more about their life.
As you’re doing this, try not to think about you. Focus on other people.
It sounds weird, but usually, we get so wrapped up in our own thoughts, we forget how other people are doing around us.
And if you can ask other people questions, you’ll learn more about them and you might be able to relate to them more.
Anxiety can sometimes make you feel incredibly alone. And talking to other people doesn’t always seem like the right thing.
But, focusing your attention on others will create a stronger bond with you and other people. It will also give you a different perspective on what other people are dealing with.
Everyone has problems, fears, and insecurities. If you can learn more about other people close to you, you can start to see that you’re perfectly normal.
3. Practice Relaxation Methods
When you start to feel anxious, your heart begins to race and your breathing shortens. It’s partly why we go into panic mode.
Your body is so tensed up, you forget to breathe properly and you literally feel like you’re in danger. Yoga, meditation, and breathing are great ways to slow it all down.
Meditation isn’t for everyone, that’s why yoga might be a better solution because it allows you to fully focus on each movement.
Also, having a breathing regime to focus on when you have social anxiety can help calm you down.
The next time you feel anxious, take a step back.
Imagine a clock in your head coming to a stop. Everything around you is stopping for a second, allowing you to catch up.
Take deep, long breaths and focus on calming your body down. This will help you regain control over your reactions, and lessen your anxiety.
4. Set Achievable Goals
To overcome anxiety, it’s a good idea to set some realistic, S.M.A.R.T. goals.
Think about how your social anxiety is holding you back. Do you avoid doing something because it makes you too uncomfortable?
Are you sick of feeling scared of things that most people aren’t scared of? If you want to work on your anxiety, then write down some things you want to try that cause anxiety.
For me, I always wanted to go to the gym. But, thinking about trying to use the weight machines when I had no idea how scared me too much.
I didn’t want to look like an idiot. I was too worried about what other people would think of me.
Eventually, I forced myself to go and figure it out. It wasn’t easy, and at first, it was awkward. But, I looked around and saw that most people didn’t care what I was doing.
Once I realized this and kept going to the gym, my anxiety went away. Setting realistic goals for yourself and taking action can be a great way to overcome your social anxiety.
Related:
5. Remember, Social Anxiety Has Some Good to It
Anxiety doesn’t feel good a lot of the time, so finding any positives in it can be impossible.
But, it’s not all bad. Believing anxiety is only bad will make you feel worse for having it.
With anxiety comes a deeper understanding of yourself and other people. You’re more aware of things around you, like social cues, people’s emotions, and body language.
It’s almost like a superpower. Being hyper-aware is difficult because it’s easier to just not care.
But, you’re probably a really good friend that listens well and knows how to have a deeper, meaningful conversation.
Think about what good anxiety can bring and keep that in your mind. Anxiety doesn’t have to be so black & white.
6. Eliminate Safety Behaviors
Safety behaviors are what we use as a shield to protect us from anxiety.
Anxiety is unpleasant a lot of the time. It makes sense that you’d want to find something to make it a little easier to deal with.
But, safety behaviors are just a crutch that tricks you into thinking you’re “safe”.
And they only help for a small amount of time. They do nothing to get rid of the fears associated with anxiety.
And if you rely on a safety behavior to get you through anxious moments, you’ll never learn how to build the confidence to properly deal with anxiety on your own.
Some examples of safety behaviors are:
- Avoiding a harmless situation that makes you anxious
- Seeking constant reassurance from others that you’re doing ok
- Using a substance (like alcohol or drugs) to make a situation bearable
- Over-preparing for a situation so you can avoid anxiety from coming in
7. Stay Mindful
Always work on staying in the present moment.
Be aware of what is around you. Anxiety will take you to a completely different reality if you let it.
Practicing mindfulness is a great way to think about what is real, vs what is made up in your mind.
Try to take 10 minutes every day (preferably when you’re anxious) to take a step back, shut your eyes, and think about the now.
- What do you hear?
- What do you smell?
- What do you feel?
- Why are you feeling anxious?
- Is there any evidence that your worries are real?
Get a free copy of my mindfulness activities.
8. Let Go of Perfection
Perfection isn’t real. You can’t predict how every situation is going to go. Pleasing everyone isn’t possible.
Making mistakes in life is inevitable. And trying to avoid every mistake will make it so much harder to swallow when it does happen.
Perfectionism makes social anxiety worse because you’re always trying to be aware of everything.
Work on letting go of trying to be perfect.
This will allow you to accept yourself for who you are, flaws and all. It will take work to let go of those things, but it will allow you to relax more and enjoy your life more.
9. Don’t Let Your Fears Hold You Back
Once you let your fears stop you from doing things, you begin to make your anxiety stronger. I know how scary it is to do something when your fear is crippling.
Even if it’s something you really want to do, if you’re too scared to do it, you’ll come up with an excuse not to do it. Fear is like a bully.
Threatening something bad will happen to you if you don’t listen to it. Unless it really is a situation that is putting you in danger, the fear forming in your mind isn’t real.
The only way to truly overcome your anxiety is by not letting these fears hold you back, and stepping out of your comfort zone.
Doing things, despite how terrifying it feels.
When I finally decided to face my fears and go to the gym, my anxiety diminished. And that’s because when you’re in a fearful situation, at first it’s scary.
But, when you sit in it and look around long enough, your anxiety will fade. You get bored eventually, and are so used to being in that moment that it’s not scary anymore.
10. Talk to a Therapist
Social anxiety happens to pretty much everyone.
I’ve had moments where I just couldn’t deal with my anxious thoughts on my own.
Sometimes, you aren’t capable of handling it all by yourself. And that’s OK.
When you have no idea where to start, talking to a professional can help a lot. If you let someone guide you in the right direction, you’ll reduce your social anxiety faster.
It’s similar to taking a class to help teach you more about how to sew.
Therapy is about giving you the proper tools to know how to deal with anxiety. So that eventually, you will know what to do during those moments.
I know that it’s sometimes weird going in and talking to a therapist. That’s why I always recommend using BetterHelp.
BetterHelp matches you with a licensed therapist who has professional experience in teaching you how to get through social anxiety.
The cool part is you can connect with your therapist any time you need to.
If you have any questions throughout the week, you can just shoot them an email or a message, and they usually get back to you within a day or two.
When I used to go to in-person therapy, it was only once a week, which sucked when I really needed to talk to someone.
I would also sometimes forget what I needed to talk about, and end up remembering later and would have to wait another week to talk about it again.
BetterHelp is there for you when you really need it.
If you’re interested in learning more about BetterHelp, you can click here and get a free account.
10 Ways To Reduce Social Anxiety – Conclusion
It takes practice, but these clever ways to reduce social anxiety really can help you become more calm and confident in social situations. And the more you practice it, the less anxious you will become.
Do you have more questions about overcoming social anxiety? Leave them in the comments below!
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