by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jun 2, 2022 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Confidence
Nearly everyone has felt anxious at some point. For some people, though, the feeling grows so intense that it can seem impossible to control. Racing thoughts, a pounding heart, and a sense of dread are all common, and they can leave you feeling overwhelmed. The good news is that there are practical ways to ease anxiety symptoms and, in many cases, keep them from building in the first place.
What Is Anxiety?
Anxiety is a natural defense mechanism, your body’s way of alerting you to possible danger. It usually shows up as excessive worry, felt physically, about something that may happen in the future. It often signals a fear of uncertainty or of situations that feel out of your control.
In short, anxiety is excessive, constant, and hard-to-control worry. When you’re anxious, you may feel as though a catastrophe or unexpected event is always waiting to spoil your day. Staying in that state of hypervigilance is exhausting, both emotionally and physically.
Many people live with anxiety so regularly that it starts to feel routine. When that happens, it is no longer an occasional reaction and may develop into what is known as pathological anxiety, or an anxiety disorder. Left unaddressed, it can affect your social and professional life and even contribute to physical health problems. Caring for it is essential to your overall well-being.
Here are 14 natural tips to help reduce anxiety. If your anxiety feels severe or is getting in the way of daily life, please reach out to a mental health professional. You deserve support.
14 Ways to Reduce Anxiety
Anxiety becomes more manageable when you build supportive habits into your routine, recognize your triggers, and learn how to respond to them. Some of the tips below may seem obvious, yet they are easy to overlook when you’re in the middle of an anxious moment. Read through each one, then choose a few to try in your daily life.
1. Understand the Cause of Your Anxiety
Before you can manage anxiety, it helps to locate where it comes from. Is a big test coming up? Are you going through a difficult season? Are you worried about something at work? Naming the source gives you something concrete to work with.
Sometimes the source is less obvious. If a dog attacked you as a child, for example, being near one now might cause sweating, a rapid heartbeat, and fear, even if you haven’t linked the reaction to that memory. Writing down what you notice in a journal can reveal these patterns, so you can plan around them and adjust your habits.
2. Organize Your Daily Routine
Structure can be a powerful calming tool. When you know in advance what your day holds, there is less room for uncertainty to creep in. Jotting down tomorrow’s tasks tonight, or mapping out a weekly schedule, helps you see the real size of what needs doing. If you want a place to start, these tips to structure your days when you’re struggling with anxiety are a helpful guide. Keep in mind that unexpected things will still come up, so leave a little flexibility for them.
3. Practice Mindful Breathing
You breathe all day long, but slow, intentional breathing does something different. It helps oxygenate your body and gives you space to notice and accept your emotions.
Try a simple pattern: Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and breathe out slowly for 8 seconds. The first round may only bring a brief sense of relief, but repeating it several times often brings deeper relaxation. For more ideas, explore these easy mindfulness exercises for anxiety.
Breathing practice also sharpens your awareness of early warning signs. Pay attention to shivering, sweating, nausea, or heartburn. The sooner you recognize these signals, the sooner you can reach for a calming tool instead of being caught off guard.
4. Answer Negative Thoughts with Positive Affirmations
One of the hallmark symptoms of an anxiety episode is a rush of negative, scattered thoughts that fuel fear and make it hard to settle down.
One way to interrupt them is to focus on something positive, such as a fond memory of loved ones. You can also repeat calming affirmations like “I am safe right now” or “This feeling will pass.” Keep going until your body and mind begin to ease. You can find more techniques in these mental exercises to help reduce anxiety and depression.
5. Learn to Say No
If you’re an empathetic person, taking on everyone else’s problems can quietly feed your anxiety. Generosity is a gift, but when it costs you your own well-being, it can become draining.
Pouring all of your energy into others leaves little for yourself, and anxiety tends to grow in that gap. The same is true when other people’s opinions begin to define your worth. Saying no doesn’t mean refusing to help anyone. It means knowing your limits and honoring them.
6. Value Affection and Set Boundaries
A strong support network matters for managing anxiety and for supporting mental health in general. Having friends or family you can lean on, and investing in those relationships, makes a real difference.
Just as important is noticing how certain people affect you. Spending a lot of time around negative or highly anxious people can influence your own emotional state. Creating some distance or firmer boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, but it can be a healthy choice for your peace of mind.
7. Get Regular Physical Exercise
Exercise is one of the best natural ways to ease anxiety. Movement releases tension held in the body and boosts endorphins, which support a sense of well-being and relaxation. Choose an activity you truly enjoy so it’s easier to keep up.
A walk, a run, a dance class, a swim, or a gym session can all help. If the gym itself feels intimidating, these tips for beating anxiety at the gym can make it easier to begin.
8. Take Back a Sense of Control
Anxiety makes life feel out of control. While you can’t command every part of your life, you can identify your triggers and prepare for them.
Does a party or social event spark your anxiety? Rather than avoiding it entirely, think about what would help you feel more in charge. You might drive yourself so you know you can leave whenever you like. If a school or work situation is the trigger, create an exit plan. You may never use it, but simply knowing it’s there can bring real relief.
Since anxiety thrives on “what if” scenarios, try listing everything that could happen if you followed through on your plan, including the worst case. Next to each item, write how you would respond or, even better, how you could prevent it. This exercise can bring you back to solid ground, and you may find that the worst-case scenario isn’t as unmanageable as it seemed in your head.
9. Try a Guided Meditation
Guided meditations can help you calm down during an anxious episode. You can stream one in an app or download a recording to your phone for stressful moments. At home, a quick search on your computer will turn up plenty of options.
These sessions support focus, ease muscle tension, and quiet the mind. As the guide leads you through relaxing prompts, your attention shifts away from the symptoms.
10. Practice Visualization
Positive visualization is another natural way to lower anxiety. In a quiet room, take a deep breath and picture yourself somewhere calming, such as a beach, a park, or anywhere else that brings you a sense of peace, and stay with the image for as long as you need to feel better.
11. Limit Alcohol, Tobacco, and Marijuana
Each of these can be harmful in excess, and while they may offer a moment of relaxation, the effect rarely lasts. Alcohol may leave you feeling relaxed at first, but the next day’s anxiety can be much stronger. Marijuana can also feel calming in the moment, yet it may trigger anxiety or panic and can worsen symptoms over time.
12. Look for Healthy Distractions
When anxiety rises, shift your focus to your surroundings. Count the people or decorative objects in the room. Make small movements with your hands, arms, or feet. You can also keep a few therapeutic or calming apps on your phone so a source of distraction is always within reach.
Sometimes a small redirection is enough to slow a racing heart and settle your thoughts. Fixating on the discomfort, on the other hand, tends to make it grow.
13. Find a Hobby You Love
Activities that relax and engage you are a valuable part of anxiety care. Video tutorials and online communities make it easy to explore almost any hobby. If you haven’t found yours yet, set aside time each day or week to try something you enjoy. That time is worthwhile in its own right. For inspiration, browse this list of hobbies that reduce anxiety.
14. Talk With a Mental Health Professional
Investing in your mental health is one of the kindest forms of self-care. A psychologist, psychiatrist, or licensed therapist can help you understand your patterns and build new ways of coping, which can improve both your well-being and your relationships. It’s worth looking for someone you feel comfortable with.
If in-person care isn’t accessible right now, online platforms such as BetterHelp, Talkspace, and Online-Therapy.com offer flexible options for connecting with a licensed professional, and you can browse more supportive tools on our anxiety resources page. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, call or text 988 in the US, or call 911 in an emergency.
Key Takeaways
Anxiety functions as the body’s natural alarm system in response to future worries, though it can cross into a disorder when it becomes constant. Managing it begins with identifying your personal triggers. Over time, simple daily habits, such as maintaining a routine, incorporating movement, practicing controlled breathing, and engaging in hobbies, can significantly lower anxiety levels. And setting boundaries, cultivating supportive relationships, and utilizing healthy coping tools help protect your energy. But don’t be afraid to seek professional support, which is a strong and worthwhile form of self-care.
Managing anxiety isn’t always easy, but each small step counts. Try a few of these strategies, be patient with yourself, and notice how far you’ve come.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is anxiety?
Anxiety is the body’s natural defense mechanism, an alert that usually shows up as excessive worry about a future event and is felt physically. When the worry becomes constant and hard to control, it can develop into an anxiety disorder that affects social life, work, and physical health.
How does mindful breathing help with anxiety?
Slow, deep breathing helps oxygenate the body and gives you room to notice and accept your emotions. A simple pattern is inhaling for 4 seconds, holding for 4, and exhaling for 8. Repeating it several times tends to bring more relief than a single round.
Can exercise really reduce anxiety?
Yes. Exercise is one of the best natural ways to ease anxiety because it releases tension held in the body and boosts endorphins. Walking, running, dancing, swimming, or working out at a gym can all help, so choose something you enjoy and do it regularly.
Do alcohol and marijuana help with anxiety?
They may offer brief relaxation, but the relief rarely lasts. Alcohol can lead to stronger anxiety the next day, and marijuana can trigger anxiety or panic and worsen symptoms over time, so limiting them is a wise step.
When should I see a mental health professional?
If your anxiety is severe, constant, or interfering with your daily life or relationships, it’s a good time to reach out. A psychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist can help you understand what’s behind your anxiety and give you tools to manage it.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Mar 29, 2022 | Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
A lot of where we are in life has to do with our own personal levels of confidence and self-esteem. Self-esteem is simply confidence in one’s worth and abilities. When we are low in self-esteem, we tend to doubt our abilities and question our value. However, when self-esteem is high, a person feels empowered and capable of having whatever their heart desires.
It’s no secret that our life is a result of what we do. And, our actions are a result of how we think and how we feel. Moreover, when someone doesn’t think highly of themselves, there is a tendency to settle for a life of mediocrity. To be clear, living in mediocrity has less to do with living a minimalist life and more to do with settling for things you don’t truly want out of fear.
It’s important for us to know what we want for ourselves, what makes us fulfilled. For example, you may dream of having your very own hair salon. However, you may also struggle with low self-esteem and self-doubt. Thus, out of fear, you don’t pursue that dream. Instead, you choose to settle for something you deem a bit more “practical”.
All women should understand that confidence has the ability to lift the weight off your shoulders and make the unattainable look tangible. What appears impossible starts to look very probable as we begin to feel more capable in our abilities.
Such confidence and self-assurance should be instilled from childhood to ensure a very healthy, productive, and self-sufficient, adult life. However, such experiences don’t always pan out that way especially when dealing with generational trauma. In this case, a scarcity mindset and low self-esteem are things that can be passed down.
While we can’t select all of the experiences we have in life, we can surely choose how we want to respond to these experiences.
To improve self-esteem, we must have self-accountability. If you’re a woman looking to boost your confidence and self-esteem, it’s important to understand the signs of low self-esteem, the importance of having confidence, and tips to help you boost your confidence.
Where Low Self-Esteem Comes From
A struggle with low self-esteem can come from many different places. Here are a few examples.
Toxic Dating Relationships
Toxic relationships have the ability to deteriorate our self-esteem. Such relationships entail abusive language, physical abuse, betrayal, trust issues, and co-dependency. None of these things exemplify love nor is it healthy to entertain.
Unsupportive Parents
Perhaps we didn’t hear the encouraging words we needed to hear from our parents. This lack of approval and recognition is something that can stick with us for a long time. Without encouragement and support, one can grow up with a lot of self-doubt, questioning their ability to accomplish certain tasks.
Childhood Abuse & Neglect
Childhood abuse and neglect are major factors that contribute to low self-esteem. While a large part of how others treat us is dependent upon how we treat ourselves, it wasn’t always like this. As children growing up, how others treated us determined how we’d treat ourselves including ourselves. In cases of childhood abuse and neglect, a child may internalize this treatment as something normal.
Bullying
When we’re younger, we are especially sensitive to the harsh words others project onto us. It is why children often internalize these harsh words. In the fragile mind of a growing child, these words often solidify as belief systems when left to fester.
But bullying can happen in our adult lives too such as in the workplace.
Negative People
Constantly being around negative people is a sure way to minimize one’s self-esteem. The subconscious mind is like a sponge that soaks up everything it hears and sees. When around people who complain about hardship all the time, we are more likely to share these feelings and victim mindset.
Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to another can make us question our worth. This can be especially dangerous when aspiring to have things that don’t make you happy. It’s like trying to squeeze into a shoe that isn’t your size and then crying about it. We are all different. Avoidance of acknowledging one’s uniqueness is one way to diminish self-esteem.
Unrealistic Expectations
Living for others is not only disingenuous to one’s self but it is also frustrating. Everyone has their own ideas regarding success, happiness, and fulfillment. And, it doesn’t always look the same. When we try to meet other peoples’ expectations of us, we find ourselves living a life that isn’t authentic. Instead, it becomes burdensome trying to maintain a facade.
Traumatic Events
Issues of low self-esteem usually begin at a tender age. Traumatic events can trigger these things. For example, children often blame themselves when witnessing parental conflicts such as fighting or divorce. Many kids believe these occurrences are at their own fault. This places a major burden on a child where they feel like they’re the root cause of the turmoil and chaos.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
Here are some of the common signs of low self-esteem:
- Avoidance of Trying New Things
- Feeling Lonely and Unwanted
- Fear of Failure
- Unable to Accept Compliments
- Self-Deprecating Humor
- Unmotivated
- Comparing One’s Self to Others
- Staying in Unhealthy Relationships
- Self-Sabotaging
- Anxiety and/or Depression
If you recognize these signs and symptoms in yourself, the following tips can help you take steps towards improving your self-esteem and growing confidence.
Self-Esteem Tips for Women
Forgive Yourself
Guilt, resentment, and regret are all feelings that carry a heavy weight. Boost confidence and improve self-esteem by forgiving yourself first. We should forgive ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made in life and choose to do better. These few decisions do not define us. It is what we choose to do afterward that is a true depiction of who we are.
Identify the Source of Pain
Where is the pain? By identifying the source of our issues with confidence, we can begin to forgive others and forgive ourselves. Knowing this information is key to understanding self-defeatist habits and thought processes.
Forgive Others
Animosity and grudges towards others are also burdensome. It requires a lot of energy to hold onto conflict. Forgive others to relieve yourself of that weight. The act of forgiveness frees us to accept better things into our lives without self-sabotaging good opportunities.
Practice Self-Love
Self-love is a belief and lifestyle which prioritizes self-improvement. By practicing self-love every day, we see our lives transform as our self-perception shifts into a more loving place. Self-love makes us more compassionate towards ourselves. Examples of self-love activities include the tips listed here to boost confidence and improve self-esteem.
Recite Positive Affirmations 
Replace Self-Deprecation with Self-Empowerment by reciting positive affirmations. As previously stated, the subconscious mind is like a sponge. It can also be seen as a garden. Women should water their minds with loving words and positive affirmative statements. Negative affirmations act as weeds that stifle the growth of those beautiful flowers in your garden. By affirming happiness, abundance, and success, weeds of doubt, negativity, and limitation begin to melt away.
Redefine What Happiness Means to You
Live for yourself. Let go of the expectations others have of you. It isn’t your responsibility to fit into the mold other people make for you but to create a mold of your own. Happiness to one person may mean being a successful doctor that makes 6 figures while others find fulfillment in living a minimalist life. It’s up to you to define what happiness and success mean to you.
Create a Gratitude List
Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for. This could be your family, friends, job, pet, etc. Feeling gratitude makes us feel more fulfilled. It’s okay to want more. However, obsessing over what you don’t have contributes to feelings of low self-esteem and not feeling good enough. A gratitude list helps shift this focus into a much healthier place.
Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation shows us that we aren’t our thoughts nor our emotions. We become observers of these things from an objective stance. After doing mindfulness meditation long enough, we notice certain patterns in our thinking. Thus, we’re able to identify and diffuse triggers, taking our power back.
Remove Toxic People
Remove negative people from your life. Hanging around toxic people is like having a heavy gray cloud following you around. These individuals can even be people we consider our friends and family. Such people may minimize your accomplishments and discourage you from going after your dreams. So, it’s best to keep these people at bay.
Get a Plant
Loneliness is one feeling that accompanies low self-esteem. Having a few household plants helps to alleviate this feeling. It’s nice to surround yourself with life and vibrancy. This acclimates the mind into a healthier space where you don’t feel so lonely. Taking care of these plants will also be therapeutic by giving you a much-needed sense of accomplishment.
Invest in Your Dreams
Acknowledge your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. All women must know they are deserving of manifesting their dreams. Exercising, eating healthy, and educating yourself are all ways to invest in yourself. Self-knowledge is a wonderful investment. If you want to start a business, invest your time, energy, and money into researching and financing this endeavor.
It’s important for women to improve self-esteem and boost confidence. High self-esteem immediately removes limitations and blockages. It feels like wearing a cape and feeling like you’re capable of moving mountains. When you’re in this space, you feel unmovable, unshakable, and unstoppable. These self-esteem tips for women will help those women struggling with their confidence by providing an effective guideline to follow.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Nov 5, 2021 | Self-Confidence, Self-Improvement
Strong, independent women inspire everyone around them. They don’t just talk about their dreams. They take action, give it their best effort, and keep going no matter what anyone else says. If you’re ready to chase your dreams, you can do the same.
Finding the spark that gets you excited is a great first step. Once you know which dream you want to pursue, it’s action that moves it forward. If you’re ready to begin but are unsure where to start, these 9 tips will guide you:
1. Know Yourself
Getting to knowing yourself is a vital ingredient of success, and one that many people overlook. It means understanding your passions, your talents, and your weaknesses. That knowledge shapes nearly every decision you make, which is why it belongs at the very top of your list.
When you know yourself well, you can see what you’re good at and where you need support. That clarity helps you choose the route with the best chance of success.
Self-knowledge also frees you from the pressure of other people’s opinions. Once you know what works for you, outside viewpoints lose their power to shake you.
2. Set Precise Goals
Most of us visualize the outcome when we pursue a goal, and that’s an essential part of the process. The trouble is that many people picture vague concepts, such as getting rich or being happier. These ideas seem harmless, but they don’t point to the specific steps you should take.
Vague ideas also make it hard to tell when your methods need changing or when you’ve done enough. Knowing exactly what you want makes it far easier to reach.
Try picturing yourself in the place you wish to be, then ask yourself a few questions: What does it look like? What makes it different from where you are now? How will you know when you’ve arrived? How will you know when you’ve drifted off track?
An ideal way to set goals is by using the SMART strategy. The acronym has several variations, but the core meaning is this:
- Specific: Your objective should be clear and well defined. Keep it simple by stating exactly what you want to happen.
- Measurable: Include numbers, dates, and other details so you can track your progress.
- Attainable: Avoid targets that are clearly out of reach, and resist the urge to choose goals that are too easy.
- Relevant: Your goals should fit the path you intend to take in life and career, which keeps your focus sharp.
- Time-bound: Give every goal a deadline so you feel a healthy sense of urgency.
If you’d like guided support with this step, the Refine Your Life course from Lovely Refinement walks you through setting and accomplishing your goals.
3. Break Your Goals Down
The big picture is inspiring, but it can also feel intimidating once you ask yourself how you’ll make it all happen. Just thinking about it can drain your energy and your will to keep going. Baby steps are the remedy.
Divide big goals into smaller ones. Each small task you complete builds your confidence and shows you that the whole journey is manageable. It also gives you a clear way to track your development along the way.
Smaller goals make it easier to work on several objectives at once too. You’ll have the energy to move multiple goals forward, even across different areas of your life.
4. Put Your Goals in Writing
Writing a goal down makes it real and tangible, and it removes the excuse of overlooking it. Experts link goal success with describing them vividly in writing. Putting pen to paper narrows your focus and draws your attention away from competing priorities.
Give each smaller goal its own deadline so you can see what needs to happen and when. And frame every goal statement positively.
Find a peaceful place, open a journal, and write out your action plan for the next month, quarter, year, or even decade. A written plan keeps you from wandering aimlessly toward your dream. A beautifully designed journal can make the ritual feel special. Self-Love Rainbow offers journals, affirmations, and other tools for emotional growth.
5. Stick With the Plan
With your agenda laid out, it’s time to follow it. Set reminders to stay on course and schedule regular time to review your priorities. Small daily actions add up and bring you a step closer to your goal.
Sticking with the plan doesn’t rule out adjusting it when circumstances call for a change. Goal setting is an ongoing activity until you reach your dream. Your long-term target may stay the same while your action plan shifts quite a bit.
When something isn’t working, replace it with something that will. Just make sure each change is truly necessary and relevant.
6. Don’t Limit Yourself
Poet and novelist Sylvia Plath once said, “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” Often, what keeps us from our hopes and dreams is a set of limiting beliefs. You may think you’re not good enough, doubt your potential, and fear failure as a result.
Here’s something worth remembering: You are more than enough. You can overcome obstacles and accomplish great things, and everything you need to keep going already lives within you.
Fortune favors the bold, so let go of fear. Failure is possible, but it’s nothing to dread, because you can learn from it and move on. A positive mindset is hard to stop.
7. Be Realistic
Realism can protect you as you chase your dreams. When you get into goal setting, it’s easy to become obsessed and go to any length to reach the finish line. That approach carries real risks, so it’s best to avoid it from the start.
You might wonder whether this contradicts the previous tip. It doesn’t. The two work together, because both ask you to find balance. Doing too little and doing too much have the same effect on your dream: Neither helps you reach it.
Drive is admirable, but you need rest and recovery like everyone else. One practical step is to build a schedule and set aside enough time each day or week to focus on your goal.
8. Accept Assistance
As the saying goes, two hands are better than one. Being strong and independent doesn’t mean doing everything alone. Surround yourself with people who will be there for you every step of the way and who help you stay motivated.
An accountability partner is a great option. It can be anyone you’re comfortable with. Share your plan and timeline so they can help you stay on track.
The right kind of help depends on your goals, so stay flexible. You might find someone with similar aspirations, join a group, or hire a professional. If self-doubt or overwhelm is slowing you down, working with a licensed therapist through Talkspace or Online-Therapy.com can give you support on your schedule, from wherever you are.
9. Celebrate Every Win
Celebrating your victories and rewarding yourself is incredibly satisfying. Tracking the small accomplishments along the way keeps your motivation strong. Let your spirit recharge as you enjoy the pride and confidence that even modest triumphs bring.
This brings us back to the value of thorough planning and thoughtful goal setting. Your plan gives you a map of every milestone you can reach on the journey.
Recognize that you’re taking decisive steps toward your aspirations, changing your habits for the better, and taking charge of your life as a whole.
Key Takeaways
Chasing your dreams starts with knowing yourself and turning vague wishes into SMART goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. Breaking big goals into smaller steps and writing them down keeps the path clear and your confidence high. From there, stay consistent while remaining flexible, release the limiting beliefs that hold you back, and balance drive with rest. Lean on supportive people, whether friends, an accountability partner, or a professional, and celebrate every win along the way.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is it important to get to know yourself before setting goals?
Understanding your passions, talents, and weaknesses helps you choose the route with the best chance of success. It also frees you from the pressure of others’ opinions, since you know what works for you.
What makes a goal SMART?
A SMART goal is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. Together, these qualities turn a vague wish into a clear target with numbers, a deadline, and a reason that fits your life.
Why should I break big goals into smaller ones?
Smaller goals feel more manageable, build confidence, and make it easier to track your progress. They also let you work on several objectives at once without burning out.
Is it okay to change my plan along the way?
Yes. Goal setting is ongoing, and your long-term target may stay the same while your action plan shifts. Just make sure each change is necessary and relevant.
How do I avoid pushing too hard toward my dream?
Aim for balance. Set aside enough time each day or week to work on your goal, and build in rest and recovery, since doing too little and doing too much both work against you.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2020 | Happiness Tips, Self-Confidence
Looking for some ways to feel better about yourself? Great! I have 19 mood and confidence-boosting ideas for you. We all have bad mental health days at times. What makes those days worse is how hard we are on ourselves.
There’s a strong mental health stigma out there that tells us we should be doing better than we are. And if you struggle with depression or anxiety, it makes you feel like a failure of some sort. But this is NOT true. Trust me, it’s not. And the truth is many many people struggle with their own mental illness. It’s not a bad thing and you don’t have to keep making yourself feel worse. Which is why I want to talk about some awesome ways you can feel better about yourself. Because YOU are awesome! If you need a reminder of that today, then here it is.
19 Ways To Make You Feel Better About Yourself
You’re doing the best you can. You’re trying and that’s all that matters. To make yourself feel better you need to be calm and realize the progress you want to see in your life will come. You will have days where you fall backward, and that’s ok. Because you will also have days where you feel on top of the world. To feel better about ourselves is a struggle we all face. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s possible to always feel better or happy no matter how perfect your life may be.
Striving for endless happiness is like striving for perfection… it doesn’t exist.
What does exist is learning how to accept who you are. That’s the easiest way to make you feel better about yourself. Whether you’re in a bad mood or a good mood. Trusting yourself and knowing you’ll push through the tough moments will turn you into a resilient badass. Sometimes that is what is required to make you feel better about yourself.
1. To feel better, pay attention to what your thoughts are saying
Instead of ignoring your thoughts, spend some time listening to them. What are they saying to you? If you aren’t feeling your greatest right now, why? Is it because of something not going how you expected in your life?
To make you feel better you need to identify your struggles and respect them. This can help you learn to listen to yourself more. From every experience and those small wins, remember what you did to make you feel better. Check out this book on Amazon which was a great read to help me feel better.
When you ignore yourself it’s easy to feel down because you haven’t fully accepted what your thoughts are trying to tell you.
2. Listen to yourself and make sure to take it easy
If you don’t want to see anyone today, clean your house, or get groceries then don’t! Basically to feel better, don’t force yourself to do something you hate. You might think “But I’m an adult and need to take care of my responsibilities.” which, yes is true. But, your chores can wait until you’re better. Cut your to-do list in half and just work on the things that you can. Sometimes our minds and bodies give us a sign, to tell us that we need a break.
To make you feel better, let the other things wait and listen to yourself. Today might just need to be a Netflix day. Yay!
3. Stop making yourself feel guilty for not feeling good mentally
When you’re depressed it’s really hard to act like you care about something when you really don’t. Like when your boyfriend wants to spend Saturday doing a bunch of errands and you’re over here like: I need to be in bed with no interruptions. Which can make you feel guilty for not supporting the people you love.
- Your mind has other plans for you and you have to cater to that.
Sometimes to feel better you don’t have to feel guilty for giving yourself a much-needed mental health day. If it’s an everyday thing, then it’s always good to talk to someone about it.
4. Write out all your worries in a journal
When you wake up in the morning and already feel like today is just going to suck, get your thoughts out. Only you can make you feel better. Write down all of your worries about your life, about the day, and just about anything. This is a great way to reel in your worries and take care of your mental health. Because once you get these thoughts, you’ll feel better about yourself and be ready to take on the day.
One way to make you feel better, try out the Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal to help you let go of worry and anxiety.
5. Buy yourself something nice, the best way to make you feel better
When you’re not feeling good about yourself, make yourself go out and buy something nice. Take a trip to the mall or buy something on Amazon you’ve been wanting. Treat yo’ self! This is a good form of self-care to remind yourself that you matter and realize that you can feel better with a little bit of a splurge on yourself. Now, you don’t need to buy the whole store or anything but something simple that makes you feel good will do the trick. This could also just be some ice cream to help boost your spirits. Let’s be honest ice cream will always make you feel better even when everything else fails.
6. Eat a healthy & fulfilling meal
You can treat yourself and eat a healthy meal all on the same day. It’s called balance! Fuel your body with the proper nutrients that you need to improve your mental health. A healthy meal makes your body feel better which improves your mindset!
7. Trust yourself more
To feel better, listen to your heart. If you’re unhappy a lot of the time, listen to why that is. If you always say yes when you should say no, learn how to set boundaries. For the longest time I did not trust myself and I always looked to other people to boost my confidence. Make your own confidence. Don’t sit and wait for a sign, stand up and take accountability. But, this never lasted because when nobody was around I didn’t feel good about myself. I spent a lot of time learning how to trust my instincts and listen to myself more, and now I feel better about myself and my circumstances. This takes some time, but if you make it a goal of yours then you will start to feel better quickly.
8. Spend time with supportive people
To feel better, it helps to have a strong support system because you can’t always pull yourself out of a funk, or make issues just disappear. If you aren’t your best today, call up your closest friends. Vent to them or ask them to hang out so you can be around positive people. Positive people can make you feel better instantly. Don’t be afraid to reach out to the people who care about you when you’re struggling mentally, because they need you to reach out to them.
They won’t judge you and care about your well-being.
9. Listen to upbeat music
Sometimes you just need some good music to pull you out of a bad mood. Dance around to your favorite songs for 15 minutes. Tune everything out and put your headphones on. Enjoying yourself where you get out of your head for a while can help you gain a different perspective on things.
Related: 13 Hobbies That Will Reduce Anxiety and Make You Feel Better
10. Write down all of your amazing qualities
Even when you’re not feeling your best you can counter your bad thoughts with good ones. Write down your favorite qualities about yourself. Is it the way you easily forgive people around you? Maybe you’re a really good listener, or like being so easygoing. Whatever traits you have, make yourself write them down. And if you can’t think of what you like about yourself, write down the things other people like about you.
11. Hang out with animals
If you have any animals at your house, spend some time with them. Cuddle your cat or go on a hike with your dog and make some friends. And if you don’t (but do like animals), go to a nearby animal shelter. If you find an animal you like, you can ask to hang out with it. And who knows? Maybe you’ll even end up getting a furry companion! Animals can be a great form of therapy because they are so innocent and pure. They are very forgiving, provide an endless amount of love, and have zero judgment.
12. Cry it out
Crying is a way to release all the built-up emotions you have in your mind and body. Sometimes you just need a good cry session to let everything out. I definitely feel better about myself after I cry things out for a little bit. If it’s just one of those days for you where you do feel on the verge of tears, don’t hold it in. Allow yourself to feel however it is you’re feeling so you can get back to being your best self.
13. Break/Punch something
So if you’re sad you cry, and if you’re angry you can punch something. I keep getting this urge to break some dishes when I don’t feel my best. That is usually a sign that some good old punches or kicks are required.
But if you’d prefer to punch something instead, sign up for a nearby kickboxing class. This can help you relieve a lot of tension…
14. Get some alone time
If you aren’t feeling your best sometimes being alone can be just what you need. This helps you re-center yourself. You also block out all of the outside noise. If you have a judgmental family, a difficult work environment, or just feel super stressed out then being alone can help a ton. Either go to your bedroom and shut the door for the night, go on a hike and shut off your phone, or take a 2-hour long bath for some privacy.
15. Go on an adventure to make you feel better
Sometimes we don’t feel our best because life feels boring. If you’re stuck in the same routine and feel like your life isn’t going anywhere, change it up by going on an adventure. This could mean a trip to the next town over or a road trip vacation. You don’t have to wait for a sign. Depending on how you’re feeling, set up a plan to get out on an adventure and explore something new.
16. Take a mental health day
If you wake up in the morning and just cannot get yourself to go to work, take a mental health day. We all need this from time to time. And don’t feel guilty about it either! A mental health day is amazing when you’re overwhelmed and burnt out. If you know you won’t be able to focus or work productively today, then it’s best to take a break from everything. This can help in so many ways and it can actually benefit your employer because you’ll feel refreshed and recharged after a little mini-break.
17. Get some exercise
Go on a run, take a hike, or do some yoga at home. Your body and mind work together to help you feel your best. Make sure to take care of your body and listen to what it needs. It already knows how to make you feel better, you just need to guide it.
Activities like running or HIIT get your endorphins going and your heart pumping, so you’ll feel better pretty quickly. And if you’re looking to calm down and be more in tune with your body, then yoga, pilates, or a peaceful walk can help you get there.
18. Read a good mental health book
If you enjoy reading like I do and like to focus on self-improvement, here are some of my favorite books to read to help you feel better about yourself:
19. Help someone else
Sometimes what you really need to make you feel better about yourself is to help someone else. Look around your life and see what areas you can help in.
- Are there people in your family who are going through their own struggles?
- Do you have a friend who could use a break from her kids?
Pay attention to other people around you asking for help and lend a hand.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Dec 6, 2019 | Self-Confidence, Self-Improvement
There are many ways to reduce social anxiety. You do not have to ‘just get on with it.’ You can actually overcome it.
Social anxiety is a very common thing, and it’s definitely possible to overcome it. That means deciding to go out and do things that scare you, despite how anxious you’re feeling.
With the Holiday season of celebrations and social gatherings approaching, now is the best time to practice these 10 ways to reduce social anxiety.
Soon you will hit the scene with confidence, and dang it, you may really have a good time, too.
10 Ways To Reduce Social Anxiety
I know, learning how to overcome social anxiety is tough. Situations that involve large groups or public speaking can make it worse.
When you give in to the anxiety and avoid these situations, the anxiety continues to grow. Then you’re eventually left feeling trapped.
The fear becomes too much to handle, and staying home instead of going out into the real world sounds like the safest option.
You might still feel anxious at times, but knowing the right techniques to push through it will make you believe in yourself more. And sometimes seeking help when you need it. This in return builds up your confidence.
Which gets stronger, and then you’re able to trust yourself more and your social anxiety lessens. I have a few tips on how to start overcoming your anxiety so you can feel confident again.
Related: What to give an introvert as a present
1. Start Challenging Your Thinking
Your thoughts are powerful. They can and will convince you of anything if you let them.
Think you’re going to look stupid in front of the boy you like? That thought turns into fear, which turns into anxiety.
What you need to do is challenge that thought.
Okay, so you might look stupid in front of a boy you like. What’s the worst that can happen? Does that guy think you’re stupid?
First, if he’s that judgemental, he’s not worth your time. Second, the feeling of looking or acting stupid is all in your head.
Most people don’t notice the same things you do. We are our harshest critic.
You can easily beat yourself up for not saying the exact perfect thing. Give yourself a break, take a step back, and don’t let that thought take over. Practice thinking rationally.
The moment you allow your thoughts to control you, you’ll start to avoid the situations that trigger anxiety. Which means it will only continue to grow and get worse.
2. Talk to More People
You don’t have to go up to a complete stranger and force yourself to be super uncomfortable.
Instead, practice talking to your friends or family. Think about questions you can ask them, more about their life.
As you’re doing this, try not to think about you. Focus on other people.
It sounds weird, but usually, we get so wrapped up in our own thoughts, we forget how other people are doing around us.
And if you can ask other people questions, you’ll learn more about them and you might be able to relate to them more.
Anxiety can sometimes make you feel incredibly alone. And talking to other people doesn’t always seem like the right thing.
But, focusing your attention on others will create a stronger bond with you and other people. It will also give you a different perspective on what other people are dealing with.
Everyone has problems, fears, and insecurities. If you can learn more about other people close to you, you can start to see that you’re perfectly normal.
3. Practice Relaxation Methods
When you start to feel anxious, your heart begins to race and your breathing shortens. It’s partly why we go into panic mode.
Your body is so tensed up, you forget to breathe properly and you literally feel like you’re in danger. Yoga, meditation, and breathing are great ways to slow it all down.
Meditation isn’t for everyone, that’s why yoga might be a better solution because it allows you to fully focus on each movement.
Also, having a breathing regime to focus on when you have social anxiety can help calm you down.
The next time you feel anxious, take a step back.
Imagine a clock in your head coming to a stop. Everything around you is stopping for a second, allowing you to catch up.
Take deep, long breaths and focus on calming your body down. This will help you regain control over your reactions, and lessen your anxiety.
4. Set Achievable Goals
To overcome anxiety, it’s a good idea to set some realistic, S.M.A.R.T. goals.
Think about how your social anxiety is holding you back. Do you avoid doing something because it makes you too uncomfortable?
Are you sick of feeling scared of things that most people aren’t scared of? If you want to work on your anxiety, then write down some things you want to try that cause anxiety.
For me, I always wanted to go to the gym. But, thinking about trying to use the weight machines when I had no idea how scared me too much.
I didn’t want to look like an idiot. I was too worried about what other people would think of me.
Eventually, I forced myself to go and figure it out. It wasn’t easy, and at first, it was awkward. But, I looked around and saw that most people didn’t care what I was doing.
Once I realized this and kept going to the gym, my anxiety went away. Setting realistic goals for yourself and taking action can be a great way to overcome your social anxiety.
Related:
5. Remember, Social Anxiety Has Some Good to It
Anxiety doesn’t feel good a lot of the time, so finding any positives in it can be impossible.
But, it’s not all bad. Believing anxiety is only bad will make you feel worse for having it.
With anxiety comes a deeper understanding of yourself and other people. You’re more aware of things around you, like social cues, people’s emotions, and body language.
It’s almost like a superpower. Being hyper-aware is difficult because it’s easier to just not care.
But, you’re probably a really good friend that listens well and knows how to have a deeper, meaningful conversation.
Think about what good anxiety can bring and keep that in your mind. Anxiety doesn’t have to be so black & white.
6. Eliminate Safety Behaviors
Safety behaviors are what we use as a shield to protect us from anxiety.
Anxiety is unpleasant a lot of the time. It makes sense that you’d want to find something to make it a little easier to deal with.
But, safety behaviors are just a crutch that tricks you into thinking you’re “safe”.
And they only help for a small amount of time. They do nothing to get rid of the fears associated with anxiety.
And if you rely on a safety behavior to get you through anxious moments, you’ll never learn how to build the confidence to properly deal with anxiety on your own.
Some examples of safety behaviors are:
- Avoiding a harmless situation that makes you anxious
- Seeking constant reassurance from others that you’re doing ok
- Using a substance (like alcohol or drugs) to make a situation bearable
- Over-preparing for a situation so you can avoid anxiety from coming in
7. Stay Mindful
Always work on staying in the present moment.
Be aware of what is around you. Anxiety will take you to a completely different reality if you let it.
Practicing mindfulness is a great way to think about what is real, vs what is made up in your mind.
Try to take 10 minutes every day (preferably when you’re anxious) to take a step back, shut your eyes, and think about the now.
- What do you hear?
- What do you smell?
- What do you feel?
- Why are you feeling anxious?
- Is there any evidence that your worries are real?
Get a free copy of my mindfulness activities.
8. Let Go of Perfection
Perfection isn’t real. You can’t predict how every situation is going to go. Pleasing everyone isn’t possible.
Making mistakes in life is inevitable. And trying to avoid every mistake will make it so much harder to swallow when it does happen.
Perfectionism makes social anxiety worse because you’re always trying to be aware of everything.
Work on letting go of trying to be perfect.
This will allow you to accept yourself for who you are, flaws and all. It will take work to let go of those things, but it will allow you to relax more and enjoy your life more.
9. Don’t Let Your Fears Hold You Back
Once you let your fears stop you from doing things, you begin to make your anxiety stronger. I know how scary it is to do something when your fear is crippling.
Even if it’s something you really want to do, if you’re too scared to do it, you’ll come up with an excuse not to do it. Fear is like a bully.
Threatening something bad will happen to you if you don’t listen to it. Unless it really is a situation that is putting you in danger, the fear forming in your mind isn’t real.
The only way to truly overcome your anxiety is by not letting these fears hold you back, and stepping out of your comfort zone.
Doing things, despite how terrifying it feels.
When I finally decided to face my fears and go to the gym, my anxiety diminished. And that’s because when you’re in a fearful situation, at first it’s scary.
But, when you sit in it and look around long enough, your anxiety will fade. You get bored eventually, and are so used to being in that moment that it’s not scary anymore.
10. Talk to a Therapist
Social anxiety happens to pretty much everyone.
I’ve had moments where I just couldn’t deal with my anxious thoughts on my own.
Sometimes, you aren’t capable of handling it all by yourself. And that’s OK.
When you have no idea where to start, talking to a professional can help a lot. If you let someone guide you in the right direction, you’ll reduce your social anxiety faster.
It’s similar to taking a class to help teach you more about how to sew.
Therapy is about giving you the proper tools to know how to deal with anxiety. So that eventually, you will know what to do during those moments.
I know that it’s sometimes weird going in and talking to a therapist. That’s why I always recommend using BetterHelp.
BetterHelp matches you with a licensed therapist who has professional experience in teaching you how to get through social anxiety.
The cool part is you can connect with your therapist any time you need to.
If you have any questions throughout the week, you can just shoot them an email or a message, and they usually get back to you within a day or two.
When I used to go to in-person therapy, it was only once a week, which sucked when I really needed to talk to someone.
I would also sometimes forget what I needed to talk about, and end up remembering later and would have to wait another week to talk about it again.
BetterHelp is there for you when you really need it.
If you’re interested in learning more about BetterHelp, you can click here and get a free account.
10 Ways To Reduce Social Anxiety – Conclusion
It takes practice, but these clever ways to reduce social anxiety really can help you become more calm and confident in social situations. And the more you practice it, the less anxious you will become.
Do you have more questions about overcoming social anxiety? Leave them in the comments below!
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