by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jun 22, 2018 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
How To Break Out Of Victim Mentality & Own Your Happiness. At some point or another, we all feel like victims of our own lives.
Things feel out of control sometimes, and it’s easy to think the world is out to get you when everything seems to go wrong. Blaming others when things do go wrong is what seems to make the most sense. It’s an easy way to protect yourself.
Unfortunately, blaming everyone else instead of taking responsibility means you will push everyone away.
Then eventually, you truly won’t have anyone else to blame but yourself. The victim mentality is a vicious cycle that never stops unless you put an end to it.
At some point, you’ll have to take responsibility for the things that happen in your life. And for the decisions which you’ve made.
It’s the only way to move past the problems and to learn how to trust yourself.
That way you will know how to get through the tough times, without feeling like the world is out to get you.
You’ll know how to solve the problems life throws at you, instead of trying so hard to avoid them. This will keep the relationships around you strong, and your confidence high.
How to Break Out Of Victim Mentality & Own Your Happiness
1. Make Better Decisions
Let’s say you are a people pleaser. You hate saying no to people, so you end up saying yes to almost everything. But, you want to be a nice person and think you can handle the load.
This is a result of bad decision making. Instead of taking a step back and listening to what you want and need, you are doing what everyone else wants.
The result? You start blaming everyone else for the stress they have caused you.
Or maybe you just generally make decisions without thinking them through. You have to pay rent but end up spending all your money on clothes. At some point, you’re going to have to make better decisions about your life.
This starts with setting boundaries with people.
People who don’t see themselves as the victim take responsibilities for their decisions. And they think through their decisions before making them.
This means they are confident in sticking to them, even if they end up being wrong. If they make the wrong decision, they learn from it instead of dwelling on it.
2. Get Rid of the Excuses
Creating excuses is really just a way of hiding your mistakes. And to avoid taking the blame.
Excuses allow you to hide away from your problems, instead of facing them. That’s because it’s embarrassing to admit when we’re wrong. We hate feeling like we messed up.
When you find yourself coming up with a reason to why you messed up, just own it. Admit that you messed up and say you will try to work on it in the future.
It won’t be easy at first, because defending yourself is like a knee-jerk reaction. But, when you own up to a mistake you don’t have to say much.
- Just say “Ok, I screwed up. How can I fix this?”
Instead of spending twenty minutes coming up with an excuse and pushing away the awkwardness.
People will respect you a lot more when you own up to your mistakes. And, you’ll actually want to avoid making that mistake again, which will prevent those problems from happening in the future.
3. Work on getting rid of the negativity in your life
Take a look at your life. Are you in a relationship with someone who takes advantage of you?
Or are you in a job that sucks your soul dry, leaving you feeling miserable and unworthy of having a good life?
Constant negativity in your life is where the victim mentality thrives. And it’s hard to take care of yourself and work on your problems if you’re surrounded by it.
When it feels like others don’t appreciate you, you’ll start to feel like you don’t matter. This is a reflection on other people, not you.
- You are in control of your own life.
Get rid of the people who don’t appreciate you for who you are, and who just take a lot without giving you anything. If you’re at a job that is messing with your mentality, you have to do something about it.
Believe me, I know what it’s like to be at a job that makes you feel like dirt.
The power of needing money to live a comfortable life becomes too strong sometimes. But, sacrificing your mental health is not an option.
You have to trust that you can pull yourself out of a bad situation, and that you’ll do whatever it takes to have a better life for yourself.
- The longer you stay in a negative situation, the more your victim mentality with fester and grow.
Make a list of things in your life that don’t bring you happiness, and ask yourself how you can get rid of those things.
Think about how you want your life to be, in the best possible way. Do you want a healthy relationship with someone who loves you? A job that makes you actually want to get up in the morning? The ability to travel and explore the world?
Then start planning for those things. Stop thinking you don’t deserve what you want because you definitely do! It just starts with you believing in it.
Even on those days where it just doesn’t seem possible.
4. Look Inward Instead of Outward
Feeling like the victim means you’re constantly blaming other people, making excuses for yourself, and self-sabotaging.
It’s a defense mechanism to avoid dealing with your problems. But, you have to look inward instead of expecting any outside force to change you.
Remember, playing the victim is easy. Actually, looking inward and facing your own issues head-on? That’s terrifying.
You have to self-reflect or else it will always be you against the world. It’s how you can solve the problem.
Ask yourself why you choose to blame people for your own mistakes. Dig deep and reflect on your life. What decisions have you made that caused you to want to play the victim?
Maybe you secretly enjoy feeling like the victim and having others feel sorry for you. But, eventually, people stop feeling sorry. And then you’re left feeling pretty shitty about your life without anyone around to complain to.
Everyone gets crap thrown at them every once in a while. You’re no different than anyone else you see. Everyone struggles. But, the people with a strong mentality know how to look inward and face the issues in their lives.
5. Work on Building up Your Confidence
If you were confident, you wouldn’t feel like a victim all the time. Self-confidence is where strength comes from.
So, practice building up your self-confidence, and taking care of yourself. The victim mentality can stir up negative thoughts in your head, making you believe you’re not worthy enough.
The best way to combat this thinking is by leaning into the uncomfortable moments and being kind to yourself.
Once you’re on your own side, you can learn how to solve problems.
Building up confidence means you learn about how to overcome mentality roadblocks.
You try harder, explore more, and live a happier life. And, nothing compares to the attraction that comes with confidence.
It’s all about believing in yourself, no matter what life throws at you. And facing it head-on.
6. Stop Expecting the Worst to Happen
As a victim, you are just waiting for the next ball to drop. So you can say “I told you so”. But, you know what ends up happening?
People start calling you a Debbie Downer. Because, yes, shit happens. We all know this.
- If you are constantly saying something bad is going to happen, it eventually will.
That’s just how life is. Waiting around for it to happen? That’s no way to live life. You have to practice seeing the good in things, even if it’s really hard.
You can start doing things in spite of what you might think the outcome is. Because you can’t always predict how a situation is going to go.
It might suck, or it might be totally unexpected. And there is really no way to know unless you give it a shot.
You can be skeptical to avoid getting burned but don’t stop trying new things. Because you will always be surprised at the outcome, and the more you try things, the less skeptical you will become.
You might feel stuck in a victim mentality, but it’s not permanent. You can change if you really want to! And if you’re reading about how to get out of it, that means you are open to change.
The days of playing the victim and self-sabotage will be over when you are finished with the program.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jun 22, 2018 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Top 10 Best Foods To Eat When You’re Stressed. Emotional eating is a very common thing when you’re stressed out to the bone.
It’s a way to feel comfort when everything feels off. We all do it to some extent. But, when your stress becomes chronic, reaching for a bag of chips or pint of ice cream every time can lead to health problems. And eating foods high in sugar can actually make your stress worse.
It gives you a brief moment of relief, but then you’re left feeling guilty and sluggish from eating foods that don’t provide sustainable energy. And when you’re stressed, eating the right foods can go a long way.
Here are the Top 10 Best Foods to Eat When You’re Stress
You’ll have more energy to deal with your problems, and eating right is a proper form of self-care. Practicing self-care more often will result in a boost in confidence and learning more about yourself.
1. Strawberry Avocado Spinach Salad with Chicken
This is the ultimate power salad that will help reduce your stress levels. The mix of spinach, avocado and strawberries will keep you feeling energized and you won’t crash!
This will give you energy for the rest of the day and will prevent hunger pains.
Get the FoodieCrush recipe here
2. Sweet Potato and Black Bean Quinoa Bowl
Quinoa is a complex carbohydrate (a good kind of carbs!) and a complete protein. This means it helps level out your blood sugar and energy. Two things that can easily influence stress levels.
Sweet potatoes are also great for your blood pressure and heart. Mixing these two foods together provides a healthy meal that is good for your waistline and your stress levels!
Get the recipe here
3. Spicy Avocado Toast with Egg 
Avocados are full of Vitamin B, which is great for lowering stress levels!
If you have a Vitamin B deficiency, there are studies that link it to anxiety.
Avocados are also high in monounsaturated fat (the good kind of fat!) and potassium, which helps lower blood pressure.
This recipe takes less than ten minutes to put together, so give yourself some time in the morning to eat this powerful breakfast.
Get the recipe here
4. Blueberry Pumpkin SpiceMuffins
Blueberries are rich in antioxidants and Vitamin C. Two things your body needs when you’re stressed out or anxious. And who doesn’t love pumpkin spice, especially in the Fall?
Get the recipe from TodaysWorkAtHomeMom here
5. Chunky Monkey Energy Balls
These energy balls pack a punch, and they are a great snack for an afternoon slump. The walnuts reduce blood pressure and lower feelings of anxiety.
These are also a great option if you’re craving something sweet. Instead of grabbing a candy bar, try these out.
This will give you the right type of energy that will last throughout the afternoon and won’t spike your blood sugar levels.
Get the recipe here
6. Roasted Asparagus 
There are a lot of benefits to eating asparagus, but especially to help with stress levels.
Asparagus helps fight back against those crazy hormone levels and will stabilize them.
Which means your mood will even out.
Asparagus contains folic acid, which helps produce serotonin. Serotonin calms you down.
Get the recipe here
7. Iced Matcha Green Tea Latte
Instead of drinking a third cup of coffee in the afternoon, try out this refreshing Matcha green tea. Green tea helps you relax and balances your mood. Which is the complete opposite of what coffee does!
Green tea still contains caffeine, which can help improve your concentration and wake you up. You won’t get the jitters from drinking green tea, which is a win-win.
Get the recipe here
8. Yogurt with blueberries
You already know the benefits of blueberries. Add them to some Greek yogurt and you have yourself one of the best stress-fighting snacks!
It’s been reported that eating yogurt each day reduces stress and increases decision-making. Eating yogurt has many other benefits, like improving your gut health. Which, most likely is what helps improve your overall mental health.
9. Roasted Lemon Pepper Salmon & Garlic Parmesan Asparagus
There are many reasons to include salmon in your diet, and reducing stress is one of them. The omega-3 fatty acids help counteract stress hormones and lower adrenaline.
Get the recipe here
10. Dark Chocolate 
This is when you can really satisfy your sweet tooth.
Dark chocolate helps reduce cortisol levels and is rich in antioxidants.
Eating dark chocolate every day can help relieve stress and give you a reason to eat some chocolate without feeling guilty.
Whether you’re dealing with chronic stress or have a stressful event coming up, eating these foods will help reduce your overall stress.
When we get stressed, we tend to turn to comfort food to make ourselves feel better. But, there are a lot of healthy options out there that are just as good as the comfort food options.
Work on bringing these foods into your diet, and improve your stress levels.
Read more: How to have stress-free family dinners
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jun 22, 2018 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Journaling – The Fastest Way To Get Rid Of Anxiety?
In a world full of social media, ‘swiping’, and ‘clicking’ – it can be easy to forget about one of the oldest methods of self-reflection – journaling.
Journaling is one of many ways to help naturally reduce your anxiety. Writing is a form of therapy where you can focus on getting all of your thoughts out of your head.
This helps you create clarity and gives you a different perspective on your thoughts. Usually, when we’re so wrapped up in our thoughts, we lose sight of what’s real from what isn’t.
Your thoughts form your reality. That’s why writing everything out in a journal is a great way to get out of your head.
But what do you journal about? What questions do you ask yourself? Where should you direct your focus?
Well, there’s no ‘packaged’ answer – everyone’s different. But, there are a few journal prompts you can use to combat anxiety both in the short-term and long-term.
There are some surprising things that cause anxiety. Of course, there are more than a handful of triggers for anxiety.
It all depends on the person and what personally effects them. You may have a different trigger for your anxiety.
There are many common triggers like public speaking, a job interview, or starting the first day of school.
But, what about the lesser-known causes? The ones that we aren’t even aware of trigger our bodies to feel anxious. And are you aware of them?
7 Surprising Things That Cause Anxiety
The answer to this question lies in the moments when you think you’re going crazy. You feel insanely uncomfortable but aren’t sure if anxiety is the cause.
For example, my main trigger is large crowds of people. Whether that’s the grocery store or a traffic jam. It just makes me feel really vulnerable and uncomfortable.
It might just be that you’re overthinking or something else.
Or maybe someone else is telling you that you’re just overreacting and it’s not a big deal.
Well, luckily here are a few triggers that may answer those questions. So, if you ever encounter the moments below and feel weird on the inside, it could be a result of an anxiety trigger. This may give you peace of mind the next time you encounter these moments.
Just remember, anxiety can pop up in the most random moments in your life. Even if what you’re experiencing isn’t on this list doesn’t mean it’s not a symptom of anxiety.
Listen to your body and dig deeper into how you’re truly feeling. Why is it making you feel uncomfortable?
Ok, now let’s dive into these triggers you may not know of.
Here are 7 Surprising Things That Cause Anxiety
1. PMS
Just another fun item to add to the list of symptoms of PMS. The hormones you experience during that time of the month can have an effect on your anxiety.
The stress hormone, Cortisol, increases before your period even starts. Causing you to become a worried mess and make you feel like you’re going crazy.
If you find that you can normally handle your anxiety most of the time, but find it unbearable at times, check your calendar.
If you notice your date approaching, there are a few things you can do to reduce these anxiety symptoms:
This will level out your cortisol levels, reducing feelings of panic.
- Go on more walks. Walking really helps reduce anxiety anytime you feel it coming on.
Take a quick 20-minute walk, even a few times a day.
This will help you focus on the present and feel less overwhelmed.
There’s nothing worse than having a full work/school load during that time of the month. Plan ahead and try not to schedule anything too stressful beforehand. This is the best time to stay in your comfort zone and focus on taking care of yourself.
2. Your Parents
How your parents treat you can have a direct impact on your anxiety. Whether or not they are intentionally doing it.
If you have parents who cater too much to your needs and worry about everything you do, this can rub off on you. Causing you to worry or stress out.
If you don’t have a good relationship with your parents, this can also cause anxiety. Seeking approval, or feeling distant from your parents can make it difficult to know how to be a functioning adult.
If we aren’t taught the right skills we need as kids, learning those things as we’re older becomes difficult. If you realize that your parents have a big effect on the way you live your life, you can work on changing it. At the end of the day, you are your own person.
You have to learn how to live your own life for yourself. There are ways to move past what our parents have taught us and to learn new things to reduce anxiety in your life.
3. Anxiety Causes Anxiety
If you’re aware you have anxiety, you could make it worse by bringing on more anxiety. Thinking about a time when you felt anxious can cause you to start feeling anxious again.
It’s a crappy cycle to be in. Anxiety can build onto itself if you allow it.
The best way to break the cycle is by working on worrying less, facing your fears, and practicing self-care to reduce the anxiety you’re feeling.
Worrying is just like fear, because it’s False Evidence Appearing Real. The more you believe in it, the more power you give it.
That’s why you have to work on getting over your fears and seeing that not everything is as bad as it seems.
4. Smoking Weed
This seems odd, right? After all, weed is supposed to make you feel calm and relaxed.
Smoking weed doesn’t always have positive effects. It can also possibly magnify your anxiety, causing worse thoughts than you’ve had before. Even panic attacks!
If you’ve been considering it to relieve your worries and anxiety, I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). Take caution with this, if you already experience anxiety in your life.
Often, one or two puffs are all you’ll need to get the relaxing effects, without the anxiety.
5. After Eating Food
We all know the feeling. We ate way too much than we were supposed to. But, did you know that it can also affect anxiety? There are reports such as chest pains, heart palpitations, lightheadedness, and indigestion.
Experiencing any of these symptoms can make you feel worried, causing your anxiety to spike. The solution to this is to eat a well-balanced meal and eat slowly.
Focus on foods that lower stress levels and that keep you feeling full. So you don’t feel the need to have to eat two servings.
6. Nothing at all
The chemical imbalances in our brain can randomly set off waves of anxiety, for what seems like no reason. Maybe everything in your life is going fine, but you still feel anxious.
It can honestly feel like nothing is causing it, but you just feel it. It’s most likely something inside your body, that is impossible to pinpoint unless you went to a doctor to run some tests.
If you feel like nothing is causing your anxiety, take a step back and work on taking care of yourself.
During the times when you have no idea what is causing it, just go easy on yourself. You can even say, “I feel anxious right now, but I’m ok. I’m not in any danger, I just feel off today.”
Then practice being mindful and work on some breathing techniques to help calm you down.
I’ve personally felt this myself and it’s not fun to go through. I mentally go through everything in my life to see if anything has been stressful lately.
When I come up with nothing, I get discouraged. I like to pinpoint a specific cause of my anxiety. But, it’s actually completely normal to not have anything cause your anxiety.
You just feel it. And that’s nothing to disregard. During these moments when you can’t identify a specific problem, just focus on helpful calming strategies to push you through it.
7. TV
Watching a lot of crime television and news causes anxiety. Even if you can watch it without a problem, you could experience anxiety effects later on.
Let’s say you hear on the news someone was murdered downtown in an alleyway. The next time you go downtown and see an alleyway, the image instantly floods into your brain.
Causing a little fear and anxiety.
The best option if you get scared after watching TV is to avoid those channels. Most of the time, the news focuses on the bad because it’s more exciting.
They want to get the best story, but it doesn’t mean the whole world is a crazy scary place. And you have to balance that news out with the good, or it can lead to a lot of worry and anxiety.
With these in mind, you can work on getting rid of the triggers that bring on anxiety. No matter what is causing your anxiety, there are ways of dealing with it that will help reduce it.
7 Surprising Things That Cause Anxiety – Conclusion
While just implementing one of the above strategies can have a tremendous effect on your motivation, it’s important to note that this isn’t just a one off thing. Consistency wins the game here.
But it can be done. Finding motivation when you’ve got anxiety can be super hard, and there will be easier days than others.
If there’s one thing you take away from this post is that while you do need to make some changes in your life trying to do too much, too soon, is a fast way to burn yourself out. So, take step-by-step, get clear on the direction you want to go and commit.
You got this 🙂
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jun 21, 2018 | Self-Confidence, Self-Improvement
Are you wondering how to look confident, when you really don’t feel confident? Did you know that most people fake confidence? Sounds weird, right?
I do it. And every one of my friends and family do it every once in a while. What’s interesting is “faking” confidence is actually a great way to become confident.
There is a saying: “Fake it till you make it,” and it really is something that will ring true once you start practicing the appearance of confidence.
5 Ways To Look Confident (Even When You’re Not)
In the moment, it might not seem like it. It feels awkward, and slightly uncomfortable.
But, imagine talking to a really cute guy (or girl!) You might feel nervous and worried you’ll make a mistake.
So instead of making a fool out of yourself, you just avoid it altogether. Once you go home you probably end up thinking about it a lot, going over in your head what you should have done instead.
If you went into that situation pretending you were confident, even when you weren’t, you still would have given it a shot.
There’s no way to know how a situation will turn out unless you just do it, no matter how scared you feel. It’s nerve-wracking talking to people sometimes, but what you have to understand is that everyone feels that way.
You’re not alone. Some people are just great at hiding it, and they don’t let it hold them back.
When you act confident, you skip passed overthinking the situation and just jump in. Like when you’re getting ready to jump off the diving board.
If you stand there and wait, it just becomes scarier. But, if you just run and jump and do it without thinking, it’s done. It’s out there.
So, how do you look confident even when you don’t feel it?
1. Pay Attention
When your heart starts to race and you get nervous about something you’re not fully confident in, it’s hard to focus on anything.
Including listening to what that other people around you have to say. This can actually make the situation worse, if you’re having a conversation with someone you like. And your not listening to them.
Then once they realize you’re not listening, things get awkward. They will think you don’t care, when in reality you are just so worried about screwing it up.
Instead of focusing so much on the fear, pay attention to what is happening in the moment.
- Fear is powerful, but a good way to fight it is by being present and listening.
Ask questions and listen to the answer. This is how you build up a conversation, and after you get past that initial phase of talking, you’ll be so focused on the moment that you’ll forget why you were so scared in the first place.
This is super important. Especially when you leave and go home. You don’t want to be feeling like an idiot for not knowing how to respond when someone was talking to you. That can have a big effect on your confidence.
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Smile and Make Eye Contact
Laughing or smiling feels impossible when you’re not confident enough. But, it’s honestly the best way to loosen up.
When I was a teenager, I used to work at a restaurant with some really cute guys. I’m introverted, so I didn’t have much skill in talking to other people, let alone cute guys.
But, I just started watching Youtube videos of my favorite actresses and shows like the Office and Friends to bring out my funny personality.
I was awkward, but I totally used it to my advantage. I made jokes and sounded like a dork, because it’s truly who I was. This meant laughing at myself and not being afraid to make eye contact.
People like people who are easy to talk to and who don’t take themselves too seriously. So take a deep breath, and practice laughing.
Think about something funny you truly like and use that to make you feel good before doing something that tests your confidence.
3. Be Kind
Be kind to yourself, and to others. Communicating with other human beings seems like more and more of a challenge these days. Confidence is feeling secure enough in yourself to make others feel better.
When we lack self-confidence, our self-doubt can bring out negative thoughts.
If you’re feeling insecure, instead of giving into the inner critic inside your head, think about something nice to say instead. I have a strong belief that kindness and humor can go a long way.
Practice giving other people compliments, that truly comes from a good place inside you. Don’t just say something nice just to check it off your list. Truly mean it.
If you mean it, it will make you feel amazing.
Because you are making other people feel good about themselves. Which then makes you feel good about yourself.
The more you feel better about yourself, the more you’ll want to give to the world. And this will seriously boost your confidence.
4. Repeat People’s Names
Whether it’s a new job, a new class, or meeting someone at a bar for the first time, practice repeating the person’s name right after you hear it.
Not knowing someone’s name can affect your self-confidence, because asking “Sorry, what’s your name again?” is kind of awkward.
It’s not bad to ask that, but repeating someone’s name is a great way to appear more confident, while also letting the name stick in your head.
If you’re meeting 20 people all at once, then please don’t worry about remembering everyone’s names But, if you meet one new person, try shaking their hand and repeating their name back. It will stick a lot better.
Sometimes I think of how I can remember their name even better. Like if their name is Britney, I think “Like Britney Spears”.
Remembering someone’s name and saying it, later on, will give you a big boost in confidence. And the other person will be super impressed.
Because everyone knows how awkward it is to meet someone for the first time. Remembering a name will go a long way, I promise!
5. Go easy on yourself and celebrate the small wins
Everyone in the world makes mistakes. People stumble on their words, mess up their speeches, and generally just mess up sometimes.
Which is just proof that perfection isn’t possible. And the more you try to reach it, the further it will get. Leaving you feeling defeated and annoyed.
Instead, track your progress and the small wins. If you had the courage to get up in front of the class and give a speech, way to go!
It really doesn’t matter how the speech even went. All that matters, to build up your confidence and appear more confident, is taking action.
Even if you totally butchered something, who cares? We all make mistakes and laughing about it later is all you can really do.
Sometimes, it’s not that easy. But, thinking about everything you’ve done so far is what you have to remember during those tough moments.
Fear is crippling, and every time you decide to go after something despite facing fear, you build up confidence. You become stronger.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Jun 20, 2018 | Dealing With Emotions, Self-Improvement
Things to stop doing when you’re stressed. It’s hard to know the right thing to do when you’re stressed. We often do the things we’re NOT supposed to.
Most of us don’t really know how to cope when our lives are chaotic. We turn to unhealthy habits that make us feel better (temporarily), like drinking or playing video games.
It’s just like sweeping your problems under the rug. Out of sight so you don’t really have to deal with them. But still there and unresolved.
When You’re Stressed, It’s Easy To Turn To Things That Are Harmful
The challenge is, that when we’re stressed, we fall into a trap of unhealthy habits that are tough to break.
These habits form when you just need something to take the edge off. Stressed and overwhelmed aren’t comfortable to sit in.
So you find that drinking a glass of wine at the end of a hard day is the best answer. It helps take your mind off of your issues for a while. Eventually, this becomes a regular thing to do.
And then every time you’re stressed, instead of fixing the problem, you end up resorting to bad things to make you feel better.
But, most of the time we aren’t even aware these things are bad for us, or why.
Here are 8 things you should stop doing when you’re stressed
Let’s work on getting to the bottom of some of the things you should stop doing if you’re feeling stressed out. This way, you can start to understand the things that do help the most when you’re stressed.
1. Emotional Eating
Comfort food tastes the best after a long, tough day at work. Maybe you even use it as a reward for getting through those days.
But, using food as a way to handle stress isn’t very sustainable. Especially if it happens every time you get stressed out.
You might feel good for a little bit, but afterward, you’ll feel guilty. Which can feed into the stress (no pun intended!).
- Emotional eating can also cause a bad cycle of feeling like you need to eat any time your cortisol levels are off. And you’re feeling guilty about eating too much might cause you to eat more to cover up your feelings.
A better way to deal with your stress is by addressing your emotional feelings and getting to the root of the problem.
Think about how you’re feeling during your stressful times. Are you angry, sad, or depressed? Once you pinpoint your emotion, and what is causing that emotion, you’ll begin to learn how to deal with stress without relying on food.
2. Avoiding your problems
We all try to avoid our problems at some point or another. Sometimes, it might be necessary just to find a distraction and clear your mind.
But, avoiding every problem will cause a lot of issues in your life. When things get tough, some people’s first instinct is to run away and pretend like nothing is wrong.
This is unhealthy because you don’t how to properly build up the mental strength to get through bad times. It all starts with your outlook on your life, and choosing to avoid problems can cause tension between people close to you.
It also doesn’t give you a chance to deal with the issue and move on to something better. Start small and create a to-do list of everything that needs to be taken care of.
- Then, work on holding yourself accountable to accomplish the small goals you set for yourself.
This will teach you how to handle discomfort and give you the confidence to know you’ll get through anything.
3. Giving into unhealthy urges
Whether it’s smoking, eating, drinking, or any other vice out there, they aren’t the right way to handle stress. When you give in to an urge, you make it that much harder to resist it the next time it comes up.
Giving in to urges means you’re weakening your mental strength and willpower.
- It eventually turns into an unhealthy habit that becomes really tough to break.
You can practice ignoring your urges (even though it’s really hard!) and every time an urge comes up, practice telling yourself “This is just a temptation, and I haven’t trained my brain long enough to know I don’t do that anymore.”
It’s going to take a lot to overcome some of those urges, especially with smoking and drinking. Having an addiction makes it almost impossible to never give in.
- But, you can start today with baby steps and work on building up your mental strength and dealing with stress in a healthier way.
4. Ignoring health issues
Of all these things to stop doing when you’re stressed, ignoring your stress is one of the biggest. Stress can cause a number of health issues, like:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- High blood pressure
- Heart disease
- Obesity
And plenty more, but these are issues that can be life-threatening. And if you start to let stress completely control your life, it will start to affect other people who care about you.
If you ever feel off and it lasts for a couple of days, don’t ignore it and wait for it to go away. Go see your doctor and talk about what’s going on. They might determine an underlying issue.
You can also talk to an online therapist at any time, day or night.
5. Watching too much TV/News
Nothing stresses me out more than turning on the 4 o’clock news. It’s usually only bad stuff and gives me a bad feeling in my stomach.
Consuming too much negativity or watching too much TV can increase your stress levels. We weren’t meant to sit all day at work and come home and sit all night in front of the TV.
- It’s not always bad, but moderation is important.
I’ve completely stopped watching the news and my stress levels have reduced. I don’t feel so scared because I limit how much information I give myself.
Simply cutting out the news may be one of the easiest things to stop doing when you’re stressed, which can have the biggest impact.
It’s always good to be aware of your surroundings, but watching the news can do more harm than good. And it can make it seem like the world isn’t that great of a place, which definitely isn’t true.
6. Overworking
Hiding behind your work to deal with stress is a common problem. Technology allows you to be in constant contact with co-workers, even if that’s at 10 p.m. at night.
Society has created a world where if you’re not insanely busy at all hours of the day, you’re doing something wrong. This is what’s causing a lot of stress and it’s taking a toll on our health.
It’s actually much healthier to take breaks and set boundaries with work. Not just for your health right now, but in the future. Eventually, you’ll come to a point where you don’t have to work anymore.
Learning how to accept that you don’t have to be a workaholic to be accepted by other people is a huge step to take to reduce your stress.
- Start by leaving work at work and setting your phone to away at night.
Once you set those limits, other people will learn to respect them and you’ll feel more relaxed and it will allow you to enjoy the important moments of your life.
7. Mis-Managing Your Time
Do you ever hop onto Facebook to see if you have any notifications, and end up getting sucked into for like an hour?
Maybe it’s just me, but losing track of time is very easy to do. On any given day you probably have a running to-do list that grows by the minute. And when it comes down to checking these things off your list, you realize certain things take way more time to get done than others.
That’s why knowing how to manage your time can drastically reduce stress. With hectic to-do lists and not feeling like there’s enough time, we start to procrastinate because it’s too overwhelming.
You can nix the problem in the butt by sitting down and focusing on important things that need to get done. Then you can determine how long each task is going to take and slowly spread them out throughout the week or month.It takes discipline on your part to tackle your to-do list, but you’ll quickly find that it will allow you to get a lot more done in less time. Which leaves more time to focus on you and have some important relaxation time!
8. People Pleasing
People pleasing turns into overfilling your schedule, which turns into a lot of unwanted stress. Even feeling the need to please people causes stress.
Worrying about what others think will only lower your confidence and make you question a lot of things you do. The most important thing you can start doing is saying no. During times when it’s desperately needed.
Saying no is not the easiest thing to do, because we as humans have a need to fit in and seek the approval of others.
- It’s in our genes, so it makes sense that it’s pretty difficult to set boundaries with people. But, it will give you back control over your life.
8 Things To Stop Doing When You’re Stressed – Conclusion
It first starts with knowing what your limits are, and how much you are comfortable with taking on. After you do that, managing your time will be easier because there won’t be so much on your plate.
And trust me, the more often you bite the bullet and tell someone no when you’re too busy, the easier it will be to do it in the future!
If you’re looking for more help with solving the problems in your life to help reduce stress, make sure to check out the Refine Your Life Purpose + Wellness Course.
This is an incredibly uplifting online course packed with so many resources to help you destress, set goals, break through mindset blocks, and take radical action and accountability for the happiness in your own life.
You can check out the wellness course by clicking here!
