At one point or another, we feel like we just aren’t good enough.
For that new job, that new guy, or even with our own family.
Self-doubt pops up depending on how you’re feeling, and someone can easily come in and break you down even more if you’re not careful.
Think about Cinderella for a second. Throughout the whole movie, she is treated like garbage by the people she calls family.
They definitely try their hardest to make her feel like she’s not good enough.
She still holds onto a little bit of hope that she deserves more than how she’s been treated.
And once she meets the prince, it’s such a relief to her for him to accept her exactly how she is.
I know I know, this is just a fairytale movie and it’s not the most realistic.
But, the premise of the story is accurate. The dark parts about Disney movies often reflect the dark parts of life.
And what happened to Cinderella with her family is what happens often to people in real life.
Maybe you’ve been treated a certain way for so long and you just never learned how to actually feel good about yourself.
Why You Don’t Feel Good Enough
I might not know exactly why you feel the way you do, because everyone goes through different experiences in life that morphs them into who they are.
But, there are a few common things that often cause people to not feel good enough.
Family usually has their best intentions at heart, but they can easily make you feel not good enough.
You probably trust your family, or at least did at one point. They are the closest people to you until you’re 18 (because you don’t really have any other choice 🙂 )
18 years is a long time to be influenced by your family, and what they say and think about you can impact you much further down the road in your life.
This can lead to feeling not good enough, because you don’t measure up in your family’s eyes.
If you have certain people in your life who take advantage of you, they might be causing to you not feeling good enough.
Whether it’s an intimate relationship, or your best friend, these relationships can become toxic if the people you’re around don’t fully accept you for who you are.
Think about the closest people to you. Do they support you no matter what? Or do they constantly bring you down and judge you for living your life?
Negative energy can eventually break you down and make you question everything you do. Pay attention to the relationships around you and see if they’re toxic or not.
Society says you are supposed to look, think and act a certain way to appear “cool” and be accepted by other people.
The ads you see on TV and in magazines can mess with your sub-conscious, making you think you need to change who you are in order for someone to love you.
This stuff is honestly just a ploy for you to buy the things that will make you feel “good enough”. It’s just a mind-trick marketers like to play on people, so they can make money.
Don’t listen to society when it’s telling you to change who you are. Who you are right now is enough.
And if you can learn to tune everything else you, you will start to believe it.
You can easily become your own worst enemy once you stop believing in yourself.
The toll society and people take on your confidence can quickly make you feel not good enough.
And if you don’t fully believe in yourself, you’ll eventually start to think that everyone else is right. Or that you should change who you are to please other people.
Who you are doesn’t mean you’re flawed or that anything is wrong with you. It just means you haven’t figured out how to truly appreciate what you have to offer.
If you feel like you’re trying your best and it’s still not enough, something has to change.
Reflect on everything that has made you feel not good enough. Then begin to question that a lot. Question why.
15 Important Things to do When You Don’t Feel Good Enough
1. Build up Your Mental Strength
Your own mentality decides what gets in and what doesn’t. What other people think and say about you doesn’t have to matter to you.
Building up your mental strength means becoming more resilient and fighting back against the negative thoughts inside your head.
Life is hard, so learning how to build up your mental strength can help you combat a lot of feelings of being insecure and not feeling good enough.
2. Get Rid of the Toxins in Your Life
Toxic people and things can keep you exactly where they want you: on the ground.
You can choose to let go of anything toxic in your life that isn’t providing you any happiness. These things don’t mean you’re not good enough to have them in your life.
If there is a person in your world making you questions everything you do in your life, then move on without them. They are the ones who don’t deserve you, and they will only suck the life out of you with any chance they get.
Rid yourself of toxins and fill your life up with things that encourage you to be exactly who you are.
3. Practice Working on Your Confidence
Being confident is a skill, it’s not something we are born with. Certain factors in your life can cause you to lose or gain confidence.
If you don’t have any confidence on your own, you will allow outside things to define who you are. Someone’s judgment of you may make you believe that’s who you are.
Building confidence means you get to decide who you are. You get to determine your future and grab hold of your life again.
Being confident makes you believe with all your heart that you are good enough for anything.
4. Seek out the Good-Hearted People of the World
There are a lot of people out there who do things just for their own benefit, without thinking twice about you.
But, there are also plenty of people who have big hearts and don’t judge. They allow you to be who you want to be, and they still choose to have you in their lives.
It’s because they don’t care what you do, as long as you treat them well they will return that kindness to you. They are there for you when you need it most.
Work on finding more of these people in your life. Stop trying to please people who are just not worth it. Let go of the people who can’t see your worth right now.
5. Understand That You Deserve Better
When you don’t feel good enough you believe you don’t deserve much in this world.
The truth is, no matter how you were brought up or what has happened to you in life, you deserve what you want just like anyone else.
Every person on this planet has an equal shot at a great life. It’s all about what you choose to do with your life to get there.
Start today by telling yourself “I deserve a great life. I deserve better. I deserve to have whatever I want, because I am good enough.”
6. Know the Difference Between Conditional & Unconditional Love
It sucks, but some people will love you only conditionally. Once you do something they don’t approve of, they will love you a little less.
How messed up does that sound? Well, that’s because it is. And anyone who doesn’t know how to love you fully no matter what is the one who isn’t good enough for you.
You can’t be walking on eggshells all the time, just waiting for the next to screw up in this person’s eyes.
Move on from the people you only love you under their specific conditions. Seek out people who find your quirks admirable and who will always love you unconditionally.
7. Figure Out Your Strengths
You have a lot of strengths. You just have to work on finding those and using them to your advantage.
What are you good at? What have other people told you’re good at? What’s your favorite subject in school? Are you right-brained or left-brained?
Understanding yourself more and viewing your strengths in a new light will help make you feel good enough.
You’ll appreciate everything you are already capable of, and you might even wonder how could anyone not like you? Because you’re awesome!
8. Question Your Thoughts
Thoughts are honestly just thoughts. They hurt sometimes, and other times they make you feel great.
Your brain is incredibly powerful, and it will convince you you’re not good enough, even when you’re not aware of it.
You can start taking hold of some of the thoughts that come into your head when it feels like you’re not good enough.
What are they saying? Why do they hurt so bad?
Is there any truth to these thoughts? Why do you believe in them so strongly? How can you work on letting these thoughts go?
Question your thoughts until you reach a point of accepting them as just thoughts.
Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s an absolute fact.
9. Open up Your Heart to Love
Stop thinking you’ll ruin every relationship because you just don’t think you’re good enough.
You deserve love, and there is someone out there who is looking for you.
But, they will never be able to find you if you close off your heart to love. Work on letting go of the fear of getting hurt.
Practice holding onto the light inside of you that believes there is love out there for you. Be open to it and allow it to come to you fully. Don’t hold back or question it.
10. Let Go of What the Past Has Done to You
Your past is a part of you, but it doesn’t define you.
It’s hard to let go of but holding onto it is part of what makes you feel not good enough. You’ve been burned before and are worried of making the same mistakes again.
Learn from what the past has taught you and be grateful for how it has turned you into the person you are today.
Then, let go of it. When a memory comes in, allow it to come then go. You don’t have to become attached to this thought and allow it to ruin your whole day.
Move on from the past and enjoy the present.
11. Fill up Your Own Needs
You know how a car can’t go very far without gas? The same thing happens when you stop listening to your own needs.
When you don’t feel good enough, a lot of the times you’re trying to fix things externally by trying to make other people happy or become a perfectionist.
One of the truest ways you can start feeling good enough is by listening to your own needs, then filling your life up with those.
When you ignore your own needs, you can’t be there for other people. And you can easily lose sight of who you are, allowing negative self-talk to take over and make you feel weaker than you are.
12. Become Your Own Best Friend
Talk to yourself as you would your best friend. Compliment yourself when you see your reflection in the mirror.
Spend time alone doing things you enjoy. Work on finding yourself.
Please start being kind to yourself, because at the end of the day you are all you have.
There shouldn’t be any reason to tear yourself down. No matter what you have believed in the past.
Respect who you are, what your beliefs are and the way you want to live your life. Support yourself so that you can actually enjoy the life you want.
13. Write Down How You’re Feeling in a Journal, Then Read it Back to Yourself
It helps to get a new perspective by writing down your thoughts. What’s going on in your mind?
Write down in a journal what makes you believe you’re not good enough, then read it back.
Once it’s out of your head, it’s usually easier to process. You can come face to face with those negative thoughts, then begin to release them.
Usually when those thoughts are out, you can then start to see that they don’t have as much value as you thought they did.
14. Forgive Anyone Who’s Done You Wrong
Spend time forgiving the people who have made you feel like you’re not good enough.
The truth is, if anyone has ever made you feel that way that means something is wrong with them. They wanted to tear you down in order to feel better about themselves.
This is where you can work on forgiving them for what they have done to you. Not so much for their benefit, but for yours.
Once you can learn to forgive the people who have done you wrong, you can begin to move on and stop giving them so much power over you.
15. Stop the Self-Hate
At the end of the day, it all comes down to you. How you view yourself, and how much power you give to other’s opinions about yourself.
If you love to play the victim to get the necessary attention you desire, work on changing that.
It’s time to come to terms with yourself and to take control over your life again. I get what it’s like to never feel good enough for people or for anything in life.
It sucks, but I’ve also learned that I hold that key to my own worth. You do, too.
You get to decide who comes into your life. And you can choose to believe that you deserve more than you have right now.
No one else can make you feel less than if you don’t allow it. Stick to your guns and start believing in your awesomeness a little more.
Move on from the people who don’t support you and remove the toxins from your life.
Trust me, once you decide to take a stand for your life you will start to see your life quickly change for the better.
Did you enjoy this article or have questions? Leave them in the comments below!