by The Lovely Refinement Team | Oct 14, 2019 | Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
How does one overcome self-doubt? Ah, self-doubt. It’s what gets into your head when you’re unsure about your abilities.
Whether that’s from something you’ve never done before or that one thing you’ve done a million times before.
Questioning yourself is natural. It’s what we do when we are trying to reflect on ourselves.
We want to make sure we are doing a good job, and living up to our standards.
When self-doubt does come into your head, it can quickly diminish your confidence
And sometimes it happens because we feel a little extra sensitive to things. But, these thoughts can actually become debilitating.
Doubting yourself can cause fear. Which will prevent you from trying in the first place.
Then it will make you question everything you do, leaving you wondering if you’ll ever be good enough to deserve what you want.
How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Boost Your Confidence
1. Speak up About Your doubt
It’s so easy to build up assumptions in our heads. When something goes wrong at work, you might question yourself and rethink if you’re even cut out for that position.
Whenever something goes wrong, we beat ourselves up internally. Because we are supposed to be on top of things, and we are supposed to be perfect at everything. Right?
Wrong.
There is no such thing as perfection! So push that thought out of your head. Instead, turn to people who can help reassure you that you are doing just fine.
If you keep things to yourself, it can quickly build up in your head.
Telling yourself you aren’t good enough and nobody really likes you anyway are thoughts that aren’t true.
They are just things you make up in your head because it feels true. But, this is why you need to talk to someone about it. Ask them if you’re doing a bad job at your job.
I can promise they will say no, and reassure you that you’re a great part of the team. We are so good about beating ourselves up and making sure that we don’t feel much pride in our work. Even if you are pretty close to perfect at your job.
That’s why it’s always good to get a second opinion and a different perspective.
Because other people see you differently than you see yourself. They value you and the right people want to be there to make sure you don’t have any self-doubt.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
It’s so easy to do. You see someone else at school who gets straight A’s and makes it look so easy.
They must be born with a skill that automatically makes them smart. There’s no way to compete with that. Well, you should stop competing at all.
There is no point in comparing yourself to others, except to make yourself feel worse.
And the best way to avoid doing this is by looking at it from a different perspective. Instead of telling yourself false assumptions, work at becoming a better person. Chances are that person who gets straight A’s probably has to work really hard.
They most likely study any free second they get, and there’s a chance they are struggling with self-doubt as well.
- If you think about how hard it is to maintain that, then imagine how hard it is if you fall short.
Put yourself in their shoes for a second. And try to tell yourself that they might be struggling too. It’s easy to assume other people have it better than you, but everyone is dealing with something.
- Some people are really good at hiding it, but no one is perfect.
Once you believe this, it’ll be easier to stop comparing yourself. And it might make you appreciate what you do have and what you are capable of.
3. Separate Yourself from the Cause of Your Self-Doubt
When you are at work for 40 hours a week, the cycle of self-doubt repeats itself every day. When you are constantly surrounded by the things that are causing doubt, then you need to take a break.
I know that sometimes it’s not possible, because we can’t just stop showing up to work or school. But, you do have control once you get home and I’m sure you have at least an hour a day you could use to get away.
Spend some time doing something you really enjoy, that you know you are good at. Something that makes you feel really good. And forget about what’s causing your self-doubt. We can get so wrapped up in feeling bad about ourselves.
Even when we get home, going on social media can bring us back into the cycle. That’s where we start comparing ourselves to other people who seem to have their lives figured out.
This is when you need to shut your phone off and go on a hike. Or hang out with people you really care about and ask them to not let you talk about the things that are bugging you.
- It’s really important to take a break and not obsess over what’s causing you stress.
When you can learn how to separate yourself from the crap, it’s easier to get a new outlook. Read this guide to dealing with anxiety at work, which gives you a daily routine for managing your anxiety.
4. Write Down 3 Things You Love About Yourself Every Day
Thinking about what you love about yourself isn’t the easiest when you’re filled with self-doubt. You might think that you don’t like anything about who you are.
But, digging deep and understanding yourself more will give you more confidence. Think of the things that you are good at.
Are you a good person who cares about other people? Do you love animals? Is there a specific body type of yours that you love?
Grab a piece of paper and pencil and write it down. Then, do this every single day.
At first, it will feel weird, and maybe selfish. But, it’s not. And those thoughts are your self-doubt coming in to tell you it’s pointless. Ignore that voice, and do it anyway.
Then, you’ll start to discover what does make you so great. And you’ll remember these things when you question yourself. Which will make you believe in yourself more.
5. Tell Your Inner Critic to Shut Up
That inner voice that is always talking down to you needs to be quiet. What that voice is telling you isn’t true.
It’s a very convincing voice, but what it’s saying doesn’t provide any value to you.
- Imagine if that’s how your best friend talked about themselves.
You would quickly tell them to stop being ridiculous and that they are great just as they are. You are perfect just as you are now. And those voices that tell you otherwise are liars. Don’t give in to that inner critic.
Tell it to shut up, and focus on doing the things you enjoy. Because you deserve them!
Have you downloaded our FREE self-love guide?
How To Overcome Self-Doubt And Boost Your Confidence – Conclusion
If you are having trouble building your confidence or getting rid of self-doubt, A Course In Gorgeous would be a great fit for you!
This course will not only help you feel confident and gorgeous in your own skin, but it teaches you how to put yourself first and get rid of self-doubt once and for all.
If you are ready to make some changes in your life, this is where you should start. A Course in Gorgeous teaches you exactly how to make the necessary changes in your life and start feeling confident almost immediately.
A Course In Gorgeous is an all-inclusive, 12-part online course that teaches you how to tackle mental roadblocks that are preventing you from truly enjoying your life.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Do you need help to boost self-esteem? Lack of confidence? You are not alone.
Low self-esteem is a common challenge regardless of your age, background, or socioeconomic status. We all know that high self-esteem is a good thing, but how does one go about developing it?
There are tons of programs and books designed to raise your self-esteem, but it’s still a challenge. Try these top 10 confidence-building tips to give your self-esteem the boost you seek.
10 Easy Ways To Strengthen And Boost Self-Esteem And Confidence
Increase your confidence and feel great about yourself with these strategies to boost your self-esteem.
1. Get support from your biggest fan.
You probably have a friend or family member who always finds a way to lift you up when you’re feeling down. Pay them a visit and let them know you’re struggling. Get their opinion on what you’re thinking about.
Sometimes we just need a reminder that we’re doing a lot better than we think we are.
2. Remember that self-esteem is a symptom of detrimental thinking habits.
Anything that was said or happened in the past is over. You can only keep those things alive with your thoughts. Your negative thoughts and inner critic will tear you down until there’s nothing left.
It’s your choice to allow that to happen or to work on it and become your best friend. This starts with changing your thoughts.
Uplift your thinking and your self-esteem will begin to rise as well.
3. Learn how to take a compliment.
Compliments are hard to take when your self-esteem is low. Ironically, that’s when you need them the most.
Smile and thank the other person for the compliment. Resist the urge to dismiss the compliments you receive.
4. You’re much more interesting than the person you pretend to be.
We develop the urge to conform when we are in elementary school. But you’re not like everyone else. You’re unique. You’ll make more friends and have more influence if you’re willing to be yourself.
We’re not made for everyone and the people who don’t accept you are most likely the wrong people for you. Stop trying to change for other people, and don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
Once you learn to live a more authentic life you will drastically improve your self-esteem.
But you’re not like everyone else. You’re unique. You’ll make more friends and have more influence if you’re willing to be yourself.
5. You’ve already accomplished amazing things.
Two of the most challenging things anyone has ever accomplished are learning to walk and learning to talk.
Think about how long each takes to do well.
They both require years of constant practice. Anything else you want to do with your life pales by comparison.
6. You can learn social skills.
Many people with low self-esteem struggle with relationships or social situations. You’re not flawed; you’re just not aware of how to do it.
Many children learn these skills while others do not. It’s never too late.
7. Other people aren’t thinking about you.
It’s hard to believe, but people aren’t talking behind your back or thinking negative thoughts about you.
Everyone else is wondering what you’re thinking and saying.
8. Be willing to say “No.”
It’s natural to feel bad about yourself when you agree to do things you don’t want to do.
It’s disrespectful to yourself.
- Give yourself the respect you deserve and refuse requests when you genuinely don’t want to do them.
9. Beware of social media.
While social media can make it easy to stay in touch with others, understand that most of what you see is misleading.
Few people are presenting their lives honestly. It’s a place to showcase the high points of your life. Everyone has challenges, but you’ll rarely see them on social media.
10. Develop your strengths.
Are you a great dancer? Take a few dance classes. Are you a good writer? Take a writing course like this one, and develop your writing skills further.
11. Run with your strengths and find ways to leverage them.
Imagine what your life would look like if you consistently enjoyed high self-esteem.
Visualize how much more enjoyable life would be and how much more you could accomplish. The change in your life would be stunning.
10 Easy Ways To Strengthen And Boost Self-Esteem – Conclusion
Begin the journey of enhancing your opinion of yourself today. No one else will do it for you. You’ll be glad you did! And after some time practicing these tips to boost self-esteem, pretty soon you will feel it.
More Ways To Improve Your Life
Please pin this if you enjoyed reading my tips on ways to strengthen your self-esteem.
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Sep 29, 2019 | Dealing With Emotions, Happiness Tips, Self-Improvement
Can you reprogram your thoughts? It takes practice, but yes. Our thoughts are tricky things to control.
Our beliefs and habits are often hidden from us, but these are two of the things that have great influence over our thoughts. Your thoughts influence your actions.
If you want to change your behavior and results, it’s important to gain control over your thoughts.
5 Ways To Reprogram Your Thoughts For More Success & Happiness
This has been a battle for thousands of years and continues to be a great challenge.
Fortunately, psychology has grown considerably over the last 20 years on this important topic.
Now, you can learn to reprogram your thoughts if you’re motivated to do so. Use these techniques to gain control of your actions by reprogramming your thoughts:
1. Use Mantras
Mantras are helpful reminders of what new thoughts you want to have. You can listen to them, read them silently, or read them aloud. Mantras require a lot of repetition and emotional involvement, but they can be highly effective.
Here’s how to make mantras work for you:
- Create mantras that support the pursuit and achievement of your goals.
- Use mantras that also address your weaknesses.
- Create a schedule for exposing yourself to your affirmations.
- Be patient. Expect that it might be several weeks before you begin to see results.
- Pinterest is a great place to find mantras that you can print out and put in parts of your house that you spend a lot of time in.
2. Open Your Mind
Increasing or altering your knowledge in many areas can have a huge impact on your well-being.
If you view yourself or the world differently, your thoughts will change.
Take a brief look at Stoic and Buddhist philosophy, for example.
These viewpoints are vastly different than how most people view the world. Become a student of philosophy and you’ll learn a lot.
There’s a lot most of us could learn about success.
Goal setting, willpower, perseverance, and communication are just a few topics.
Learning more about these types of topics will change the way you view success, and your thoughts will change, too.
Related: How to Develop a Growth Mindset So You Can Strengthen Your Confidence
3. Ask yourself questions.
Questions change your focus and thoughts.
Asking yourself questions like, “What’s good about this situation?” or “What are my greatest strengths?” or “What should I be working on right now?” will change your thinking.
Use questions to redirect your attention and thoughts.
This is one of the easiest ways to change. Develop the habit of asking the right questions.
Related: 10 Life-Changing Questions to Ask Yourself Today
4. Attack limiting beliefs.
Your beliefs largely create your thoughts. Eliminating negative beliefs and adding positive beliefs will drastically change your thoughts.
Take a negative belief and apply the following process:
- Where did I get this belief? Is it my own? Did someone else give it to me?
- What is the belief based upon? Is the source valid? How do I know it’s true?
- What is this belief costing me? What would happen if I believed the opposite instead?
- Am I willing to let go of this belief for a month and see what happens?
5. Visualize.
Visualize something negative and notice your thoughts.
Now, visualize something positive and notice your thoughts. Compare. There’s no doubt that visualization impacts your thoughts and beliefs.
The period of time right after awakening and just before falling asleep can be especially effective for practicing visualization.
Use this to your advantage, visualize:
- Achieving your goals.
- Completing the tasks you need to do each day.
- Being the type of person you want to be.
- Mastering a skill you want to learn.
5 Ways To Reprogram Your Thoughts For More Success & Happiness
You’re not as easy to program as a computer, but you’re more programmable than you think!
If you’re struggling to manage your behavior and get yourself to do the things you know you should be doing, try reprogramming your thoughts.
Many of our thinking patterns are purely habits and very challenging to alter.
But challenging doesn’t mean impossible!
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Aug 31, 2019 | Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
What are some ways to have more confidence? Confidence feels like an iffy thing. Some days you may feel better than others. And on the good days, you may even wonder if you struggle with confidence at all.
But then things pile onto your plate, life becomes stressful and it doesn’t take long before you start to wonder if you’re good enough.
Are you capable enough to get through this?
And the unfortunate thing is when we experience trying times it can damage our confidence levels. The longer you stay in difficult moments, the harder it becomes to feel good about anything.
But the thing with confidence and self-esteem is it requires a conscious effort on your part to build it.
Just like a muscle in your body, having confidence takes a little work and some time to establish. And once you do feel confident enough, you also have to maintain it so when bad things happen you don’t feel the rug pulling out from under you.
That’s why it feels iffy. When we reach a point of feeling good enough we still have to put the work in to take care of ourselves and work on confidence. It’s not something you just let go of once you feel good enough.
Because eventually, your confidence will wane again. And this is good for you to just be aware of. If you think that some people are just born with confidence, that’s not the case. Some people are raised to believe in themselves and not question things.
But others grow up always feeling unsure if anything they’re doing is right. It depends on your specific situation and what you’re surrounded by in your life.
If you have a lot of negativity and toxic people in your life, your confidence and self-worth will crumble over time.
On the other hand, if you have a supportive group of people in your life who encourage you and are there for you when times get tough, your confidence will grow.
Tips To To Have More Confidence
Below I’m going to list 25 ways to have more confidence and I encourage you to pick out things on this list that fit into what you want to focus on more.
Write these things down and work on implementing little things into your daily life. Some of the things on this list are very easy to do and require little effort.
Once you learn how to add more of these into your life, you will begin to feel confident and it will become sustainable instead of feeling like it comes and goes.
Here are 25 Ways to Have More Confidence
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Replace negative thoughts with positive ones
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Ditch stains and holes. Dress nicely
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Visualize yourself as you want to be.
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Spend extra time on personal hygiene
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Challenge yourself to do something outside your comfort zone
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Take time to get to know yourself
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Practice gratitude
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Challenge your inner critic. It’s your worst enemy.
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Stand tall and look people in the eye
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Learn something new (Like This!)
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Volunteer your time
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Set and achieve a small goal
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Replace a bad habit with something good
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Set personal boundaries and hold firm to them
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Smile often
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Focus on the solutions rather than the problems
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Take up something fun that gets you physically active
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Complete something you’ve been procrastinating about
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Make a list of your positive qualities and achievements
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Bring out your inner creativity through art, music, dance, photography, or whatever you enjoy
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Spend more time with those you care about
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Distance yourself from those who do not encourage and support you
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Clean and organize the space you spend the most time in
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At the end of each work day, clear your desk
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Take better care of yourself; physically, emotionally, and socially.
25 Ways To Have More Confidence – Conclusion
There you go! There are 25 ways you can feel more confident in your everyday life. If this list feels overwhelming, just pick one thing.
Once you’ve decided on that one thing, plan out how you’re going to add that to each day throughout the week. Identify the resistance you may be feeling towards trying this, and really start to focus on just taking one small step towards feeling more confident.
If you have any questions or comments feel free to leave a message below!
by The Lovely Refinement Team | Aug 7, 2019 | Self-Esteem & Self-Love, Self-Improvement
Your mind works in mysterious yet powerful ways.
I know all too well that it doesn’t seem easy (or even possible) to change your mind on things.
Whether that’s when you’re feeling anxious, depressed, overwhelmed with negative thoughts, or you just don’t feel too great about yourself.
The good news is it’s not too difficult to develop a growth mindset.
Develop A Growth Mindset To Strengthen Your Confidence
You’ve probably heard the term “you are a product of your thoughts”, and while there is some truth to this I also think it’s placing blame on the way you think.
People will often tell you to just get over it, stop being sad, and just be happy, or why can’t you stop worrying so much? And some of these people may just tell you to change the way you think, and you will feel better.
But, that’s now how it works. Whatever thought trap you are in right now is brought on by way more than just the thoughts in your head.
It’s based on the experiences you’ve gone through, what your brain has been exposed to, and how you have been taught to handle these experiences.
And while something like anxiety or depression is not to be taken lightly, there are things you can do to work on feeling better.
I’ve learned this through my own experience. I’ve had both anxiety and depression for years. Sometimes I felt so awful that I would sit on my couch and play video games for days, ordering takeout and ignoring anything from the outside world.
It’s about creating new habits and changing your behavior. A growth mindset means being open-minded and allowing yourself to learn. Even when you make mistakes.
Your brain is on auto-pilot like 80% of the time. Especially during the week. Think about your schedule, how you wake up at the same time, go to work, drive home, and have your evening routine. All of these things are done without much thought.
It’s partly what makes eating healthy and getting into a workout routine more difficult. You have to combat the engrained habits consciously until the habit of thinking positively, eating more veggies, and working out becomes sub-conscious.
Your thoughts, actions, responses, and future are all affected by the mind. Transforming your mind might seem like something magical, but it is very doable.
Here are some tips to develop a growth mindset so you can have a happier, more focused, and enlightened mind.
Be open to changing your mind
I think there’s a difference between wanting to change how you think and actually doing it.
In order to develop a growth mindset, it takes effort, time, and work. If you don’t want to put in the work badly enough you will just fall back into your old mindset.
So, first, think about why you want to change your mind.
This is going to be the biggest step for you, and the most important one. You need to envision how you actually want to feel. Because just deciding on a whim to change won’t last very long.
Think about “Why do I actually want to do this?” I remember when I was depressed nearly every single day. The first thing that goes through your mind when you’re depressed is the motivation to do anything. So, I had no reason to feel better.
I was convinced I would never feel better.
But, one day I broke down and cried for the 15th time within a short amount of time. I was so sad and unhappy. Nothing mattered. And I realized at that moment that I was in a deep depression.
And I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn’t ever care enough to feel better. But, I just had to try. I had to be open to this idea of change even if I didn’t see anything in that moment.
So even if you’re feeling down and upset, I encourage you to work on this. Think about what does or used to make you happy. What lights that spark inside you? And work towards that.
Be in love, not just with someone else but with yourself and your life.
Happiness comes and goes. If your goal is to be content and happy all of the time, it’s not a very realistic goal. Life is full of great moments, as well as challenging moments.
The key to developing a growth mindset is being aware of these challenges, and allowing them into your life. You don’t need to avoid the hard times, you just have to allow them to be there.
To set an expectation of yourself to just feel amazing all the time is setting yourself up for failure. It’s also not giving you the credit you deserve.
Identify the moments when you’re struggling and don’t try to change it. Work on caring about yourself and going easy during the tough moments.
If you want to feel happier and more positive, focus on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up and try not to set crazy expectations.
Just say “I’m doing the best I can.” And take a break. Take baby steps and continue to move forward.
Take time to do what makes you happy
A lot of times, we can get stuck in the rut of day-to-day life, working dead-end jobs that have no real meaning and value to our lives.
Just getting by won’t transform your mind or outlook on life.
Live your passion! Strive to perfect your daily life and open up your mind to possibilities outside of your comfort zone.
Showing yourself that you can do anything you put your mind to is one of the best ways to transform your mind, forever. It builds up trust within yourself and gives you more confidence to go after the things you want.
Related: How to Build Self-Worth & Start Believing in Yourself Again
Eat organic brain food- vegetables and fruits
Feeding your brain the purest and highest quality foods will give you the greatest advantage.
Chemicals in non-organic foods play a big role in the hormones associated with our feelings.
Too many hormones/pesticides in our foods can cause an imbalance in our own bodies, which will make balancing our minds difficult. Eliminate those pesticides and hormones. Your body, mind, and soul will thank you.
Transforming your mind isn’t magic. It’s all about transforming yourself, your level of happiness, and your drive in this world. You can do this!
