Have you been wrestling with how to deal with criticism? Have other people been getting to you lately?
Do you have days where you think you are on the right track, and then someone comes in and makes you feel terrible about your life choices?
It happens to all of us. It usually happens when we have some sort of success or happiness. Even if you're not that sensitive, some comments have a way of hitting home. They hit our insecurities and make us question ourselves
The ways you deal with criticism shows what kind of person you are.
4 Ways To Deal With Criticism And Feel More Confident
When we are finally OK with what's going on in our lives, someone tries to ruin it. As if we don't deserve to be happy.
It's a natural part of life. I mean, who'd put 7.4 billion people on the planet and expect them all to get along?
Unfortunately, there are some people out there who's main mission in life is to come through with a chainsaw and tear down everyone in their path. And if you are at all sensitive, it's easy to let it get to you.
The main thing to remember is to not let it get to you or take over your life. You deserve everything good that comes to you. You are a good person.
There wouldn't be a Lebron James or a Taylor Swift or any successful person if everyone stopped trying after someone told them they weren't good enough.
This is why learning to push past the bullshit, and filtering your life to be exactly what you want, is what you need to work towards. It's what you are already working towards, and you just need to stick to it!
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt
1. Understand You Can't Control Other People
No matter how hard we try, we can't change people. Everyone is the way they are for a reason, whether that's how they were raised or because they are stuck in their ways.
The quicker you can come to terms with this, the less it will effect you. And if you can't change other people, that should give you enough confidence to believe they can't change you.
Why would you want to change for another person anyways? It's pointless. Anyone who's asking you to change is not worthy of having a relationship with who you already are.
Some people are going to say what you are doing isn't enough, or you aren't very good at what you do. That's just their opinion. It doesn't make it true.
Especially if what they are saying is purely negative, just to make you feel like shit.
At my old job, I worked with a really negative co-worker who liked to throw up his opinion on everyone else. One day he took me aside and told me I wasn't very good at my job, and needed to be quicker if I ever wanted to be as good as him.
At first, I felt shitty because I felt helpless. I questioned myself a lot, and didn't feel 100% about going to work after that.
But, then I realized it was him that had issues, not me. I was at this job for a reason, and he wasn't the one who controlled who got fired.
He was just a grumpy person who had too much time on his hands to complain about everyone else.
He got fired less than two months later, because of how negative he was. And nobody else ever told me I was slow or bad at my job. If anything, it was the opposite. So seriously, ignore those haters.
Haters don't get very far in life, and they end up miserable, wanting to take you down with them. Don't let them!
2. Be Logical About The Type Of Criticism You Receive
Whenever someone says something negative about me, I instantly think about their side of things. I logically ask myself “am I doing something wrong?”.
I make sure I am being reasonable and giving them the benefit of the doubt. In reality, every time someone says something negative about me is when they have underlying issues they need to deal with about themselves.
It's always best to listen to the people who know you like the back of their hand. The ones who will call you out on shit, when you are legitimately doing something wrong. Because you trust them, and they know you well enough to be honest with you.
If you're dealing with an irrational person, you will get mixed messages. They will like you, but then say things to you that are hurtful for no reason. And it's always because they have issues and insecurities they haven't dealt with.
Sometimes people are just plain mean. And it's a waste of time to even try to figure out the underlying reasons for why they are so freaking mean.
It's always best to be the most logical you can about it, reflect on yourself to make sure you aren't doing something wrong, and then let it go.
The more we let people upset us, the more power it gives them to keep doing it!
3. Practice Setting Boundaries
This is such an important step, for any part of your life. Setting boundaries is important, it's also a tough thing to do.
If you are a nice person, not-so-nice people will take advantage of that. They will see a way to take you down, and they'll jump at the opportunity.
That's when knowing how to set your boundaries will help you out a lot. You might not know how to effectively set boundaries, because like I said it's not easy.
It's hard to be strict with other people when you want to just be friendly. You want to be that person other's can rely on, even if they are being assholes.
That's what makes you such a good person! It's also what makes it so easy for other people to take advantage. What's cool is if you do set a boundary and stick to it, no one will want to mess with you.
The nice person with a secretly assertive side is like kryptonite to miserable people.
So work on setting boundaries, and figure out what your limits are. When you see someone is taking advantage of you, put a stop to it. Shut it down!
It doesn't make you a bad person when you set boundaries, it makes you a badass.
Learn a new skill today
4. You Can Control What You Allow And What You Don't
At the end of the day, it all comes down to how you feel about yourself. Someone can tell you you're short and fat when you are 5'10 and 120 pounds.
You can choose to believe them, or you can choose to not allow it. Some people let the opinions of others completely take over their life, and then they start to sink down to the level of those negative people.
But, you don't have to. You can choose right now to overcome it. Because just like the Eleanore Roosevelt quote says, nobody can make you feel less than who you are without you saying so.
Just focus on surrounding yourself with the people who love you, who are supportive and who will be honest with you about things.
These are the people who will bring you back up and reassure you that you are doing just fine. I don't know about you, but I would never bring someone down just to make myself feel better. I vent to a close friend about people who have made me feel bad.
But would never voluntarily talk bad about the kind person who is clearly trying their hardest. I'm guessing you're the same way.
If you don't instantly see the bad in other people, then you are a good person. You are trying your hardest to be a good person and I give you props.
- Related: 25 Ways To Become More Confident
How To Deal With Criticism And Feel More Confident – Conclusion
It isn't always easy to deal with criticism. But know that most of the time, it's their problem, and not really anything to do with you at all.
This guide on learning how to not take things too personally may be a helpful read, too!
If you are having trouble building your confidence or getting rid of negative thinking, check out my happiness course Refine Your Life!
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