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Feeling 100% confident in yourself can be a challenge.
Mainly because it’s difficult to keep it consistent.
You may have days where you feel on top of the world, and other days where you feel unworthy of anything.
Unfortunately, how we feel about ourselves can affect a lot of things in our lives.
Our relationships can suffer when we aren’t confident, and it’s hard to even want to get out of bed when you aren’t happy with how your life is going.
Confidence comes from within, and it’s easy to lose sight of that.
Especially when there are so many outside factors (like money or materialistic things) that temporarily makes us feel great but after a while leave us feeling empty.
To be happy with who you are means figuring yourself out in a number of ways.
Instead of taking the easy road and finding things that temporarily fill your happiness, you have to take the time to build yourself up.
So that even when you aren’t feeling great, it’s not because you aren’t ok with who you are.
It’s just because it’s a bad day or you’re in a funk that you know you’ll pull out of because you have that confidence in yourself.
Start Trusting Yourself More
There may be times where you feel incompetent and like your self-confidence is long gone.
Life is not always easy, and there are events that happen that test us.
Whether that’s a bad relationship, a shitty job, or someone passing away.
When the rug gets pulled out from under us, it’s difficult to keep things in perspective.
You might wonder why you even tried in the first place and question everything.
Some people choose to let their own difficulties knock them down and they avoid ever trying again.
Trying HURTS. Rejection hurts.
Living sometimes hurts. Enduring life when you have felt pain is a test to your will.
Trusting yourself during the toughest times is how you will ultimately find confidence and happiness within yourself.
Same with building resilience and overcoming fear of failure.
When you believe you can make it through to the other side, you are finding ways to trust yourself.
But, you have to push through when you’re uncomfortable.
That means getting rejected, and putting yourself out there to possibly get shot down.
Eventually, you build up so much tolerance to things that you just learn how to survive through it all.
You’ll break through that barrier and find you can make it through just about anything.
Recognize the Thoughts That are Preventing you From Being Happy
Telling you that you can be happy right now, no matter your circumstances sounds too easy.
If it was that easy, there wouldn’t be countless books and blog posts written about it.
Just change your mindset! That’s all there is to it.
Yeah, I hear your skeptical laugh as I write this.
The thoughts we have every day have more control than we like to admit.
What you have to do is become more aware of what they are saying to you.
The thoughts that are saying “I’m not good enough to date someone like that.” or “if I lost 20 pounds, I’d be a lot more confident and a lot happier.”
If you ever come across thinking something similar, this is preventing you from being happy with who you are right now.
Trying to fix those things you are unhappy about will result in MORE unhappiness.
Why are you giving power and value to thoughts that are preventing you from being happy right now?
I’ve gone through a period of feeling pretty low, and not seeing the purpose in my life.
Basically for a whole year I felt that way. I didn’t see what my value was and some days I wondered what the point was.
It was because I allowed other people’s negativity to get into my head and break me down.
Which resulted in a lot of unhappy days, even when nothing was wrong.
What changed was training myself to believe I was good enough.
It meant practicing self-care and working on the parts of who I am that I’m not confident in.
Instead of changing those things, I’m learning to embrace them.
But, one thing to remember is that it takes time.
Nothing drastic happens overnight, and you will need to work on it daily.
Find positive people to hang out with
My sister is my rock and she always helps me see the value in who I am, even when I don’t see it.
No matter what, you need a supportive person in your life who will always reassure you that what you’re doing is good.
The world is full of way too much negativity, and it’s too easy to get sucked into it.
But, there are also a lot of really freaking great people out there.
Even if you don’t have anyone in your life right now, make it a point to find someone.
I could be your supportive friend if you want!
Find a supportive positive person (or people) that want to build you up.
They are out there, and they can do wonders to help bring more happiness into your life.
I like to think that if these people are choosing to hang out with me, I must be doing something right.
And that brings me enough confidence to see that I must be a good person to be around, and once you feel that way, it’s easier to be happy with who you are.
Work On Changing Things That Aren’t Bringing You Happiness
Do you have a close friend who you care about a lot, but who always seems to take and not give a whole lot?
Or are you in a relationship with a guy that isn’t quite the right fit, but you don’t want to go through the motions of breaking up?
If you are in a situation in your life where things aren’t bringing you happiness, and are the cause for your unhappiness, work on changing them.
I know, easier said than done.
But, eventually we end up so miserable that something ends up happening whether we like it or not.
Change is inevitable, and if something feels wrong in your life, it probably is.
This is a tough one, because some people don’t like to admit that there is a problem.
They don’t want to see their friend leave because they care a lot and don’t want to inflict pain on anyone.
So we stay still, even if we are secretly miserable, to avoid anything bad happening to anything else.
You aren’t a terrible person if it’s the people around you who are draining your energy and causing you to be miserable.
And you aren’t a terrible person if you choose to change your circumstances for a chance at a better life.
Start by evaluating your life.
Base things off of the 80/20 rule for a week.
If you realize that your job or relationship makes you miserable 5 out of the 7 days of the week, something probably needs to change.
Letting go is tough, but if you know in your heart that letting go will bring you happiness, you know deep down you have to do it.
Understand What Happiness Means to You
What brings happiness is different for everyone.
My happiness comes from the comfort of my home, with my dogs, my boyfriend and my huge family.
What are some things that bring you happiness? Is it a specific day of the week? A coffee shop nearby?
Write them down!
Get your thoughts out of your head and figure out what brings you happiness.
If you are in a state of mind where it feels like nothing brings you happiness, start small.
The reason why I say this is because as we grow up and have to focus more on reality than our well-being, it’s easy to lose sight of the things that make us feel good.
What are some moments where you have truly enjoyed yourself?
Channel inside and think about what things make you happy! If you still need help with this part, you can always email me.
Stay Consistent With Your Efforts
Building confidence means changing your thoughts. Which means it will take time and effort on your part.
Just like working out, it’s something you have to do often if you want to see results.
And it’s definitely possible.
But sometimes we don’t think we need to work on ourselves. It’s difficult to put yourself first sometimes.
Confidence comes from within, and that starts with you.
If you make a commitment to work on yourself and your mindset, you can have more confidence.
If you are having trouble building your confidence or getting rid of negative thinking, A Course In Gorgeous would be a great fit for you!
A Course In Gorgeous is an all-inclusive, 12-part online course that teaches you how to tackle mental roadblocks that are preventing you from truly enjoying your life.
This course will not only help you feel confident and gorgeous in your own skin, but it teaches you how to put yourself first and get rid of negative thinking once and for all.
If you are ready to make some changes in your life, this is where you should start. A Course in Gorgeous teaches you exactly how to make the necessary changes in your life and start feeling confident almost immediately.
You can check it out by clicking here!
If you enjoyed this article or have any questions about becoming more confident, leave a comment below!